Do you ever ask yourself why one man leads a group of men, while all other men follow? Why women fight amongst themselves for that one man, while they may have many other men in the group from which to choose? Do you want to be that man? Of course you do.
The first rule of behavioral science is to observe. So, let’s get to it:
Attribute #1 – An alpha male doesn’t really care about you. He puts himself first in everything.
While this may seem like a jerk attribute, it really isn’t. An alpha male knows that to accomplish what he wants, he must come first. To put anyone else’s desires before his own would be an act of submission, and wouldn’t further his goals. Some people may call this selfishness. An alpha male sees it as having his priorities straight. This is because it is a characteristic of beta males to subjugate their desires for those of other people in order to impress them and gain their approval. An alpha male neither wants nor cares about the approval of other people. He simply does what he wants, and if people approve, so much the better, because he didn’t have to do anything for such approval. He simply enjoys the benefits.
Attribute #2 -- An alpha male is comfortable with himself and knows who he is.
While this attribute is often characterized as confidence, it isn’t. Rather, an alpha male knows who he is, and knowingly projects the image he wants others to perceive. In fact, what an alpha male projects to others isn’t an image at all. It is who he is. An alpha male doesn’t change himself to fit in or gain the approval of others. Women may have in their minds an image of the ideal man. However, when women meet an alpha male who doesn’t fit that image, they can’t help but admire him for knowing who he is and being comfortable with himself. As a result, they may throw away their mental lists of ideal male attributes, or substitute some for those being exhibited to them. This is because most women don’t know who they are, and aren’t comfortable with themselves. Consequently, they and other men who are like them (e.g., beta males) will gravitate toward the alpha male in an effort to bask in the glow of his sense of self and hope that some of it will rub off on them.
Attribute #3 – An alpha male doesn’t justify himself to others.
Justification is defined as “giving a good reason” or “explaining oneself or one’s actions.” An alpha male doesn’t explain why he is or isn’t doing something. He doesn’t have to because he doesn’t care whether you approve because he assumes that you will. An alpha male speaks very little about who he is or why he is doing something, and most definitely doesn’t brag. Instead, he lets his actions speak for him, and will only explain/tell the story if you ask, and then, only if he feels like it. Even then, he’ll speak slowly and say things one time, and one time only. He will not continue to answer pestering questions or tell the story again and again when new people join the group.
Attribute #4 – An alpha male lives in a world of his own making.
You’re probably heard the expression “he lives in his own little world,” often made by those who either don’t understand or approve of the actions of others. Well, an alpha male lives in his own world, or rather, he is the center of his universe and everyone and everything revolves around him. When an alpha male enters a room, he may scan the crowd for attractive women or some other thing that interests him, and thereafter focuses on that attraction alone. He doesn’t constantly look around the room for a new focus or attraction because he isn’t interested. To the extent something new does interest him, he will turn his attention to it slowly and deliberately. In doing so, an alpha male conveys that he isn’t desperate to pay attention to what everyone else in the group may be observing/discussing.
Attribute #5 – An alpha male is the center of any conversation in which he engages.
By speaking slowly, carefully and only when he wants to, an alpha male increases the value of his words. His words are of high quality because he thinks carefully about what he wants to say, and only when he can have the maximum audience. In doing so, he commands others to pay attention to him, because if they don’t, they may miss some words of wisdom or other indicia of why the alpha male is so comfortable with himself. Other participants in a conversation may even seek the alpha male’s approval of the topic of discussion or whether a particular person’s comment/joke was particularly insightful or funny.
Attribute #6 – An alpha male surrounds himself with beta males and submissive women.
This may seem obvious, but many people miss this attribute because the objective quality of the people that surround an alpha male may, in fact, be higher than the objective quality of the alpha male. The alpha male doesn’t care, because his will is stronger, and doesn’t consider the objective accomplishments of others to make them better than him.
Attribute #7 – An alpha male doesn’t convey that he is particularly impressed with anyone or anything.
An alpha male doesn’t express any feelings that he is particularly impressed with anyone or anything. Instead, an alpha male will, at the most, indicate that he respects another person’s accomplishments. He never says “I could do that if…” or “that’s no big deal….” Such phrases denote insecurity, and an alpha male is anything but insecure. Expressions of respect may often take the form of a discrete “nod,” with no words exchanged. Such is the nod of approval and respect among alpha males, and there is no need to say or do anything further. Doing so would be beyond the mere expression of respect, and become a sign of submission.
Attribute #8 – An alpha male doesn’t easily let other men gain rapport with him.
While an alpha male may be surrounded by beta males, he very rarely lets any of them gain true rapport with him, and he will respond to those who try with indications of indifference or even humiliation. For example, I used to know a guy who, in response to a beta male’s attempt to impress him with a particular accomplishment, would respond “ejaculations,” instead of “congratulations.” Other times he would respond with a tough-guy movie line that is tangentially related, and perceived expressly by others as a sign of approval, but is in fact an attempt to steal the limelight.
Attribute #9 – An alpha male will engage in selective acts of kindness.
An alpha male knows that kindness is a form of submission. Consequently, he doesn’t express overt kindness too often. Others may therefore perceive him as being aloof and distant until the alpha male gives them “a chance to get to know him.” The alpha male does so by being open and overtly respectful at just the right time (e.g., invites you to sit down at his table, buys you a drink, pays your club cover charge, etc…) Strategic acts of kindness make such acts more valuable when bestowed on people, and are cherished more because they are so rare. King Louis XIV of France would occasionally invite a particular courtier to dine with him, giving that courtier one-on-one time with the king. This showed the other courtiers that the king could be kind when he wanted to be, and that if they submitted to his will, they too might be invited to dine with the king. Beta males, on the other hand will almost always be kind to other people, often to impress them, thereby making such kindness a common commodity that can be taken for granted.
The first rule of behavioral science is to observe. So, let’s get to it:
Attribute #1 – An alpha male doesn’t really care about you. He puts himself first in everything.
While this may seem like a jerk attribute, it really isn’t. An alpha male knows that to accomplish what he wants, he must come first. To put anyone else’s desires before his own would be an act of submission, and wouldn’t further his goals. Some people may call this selfishness. An alpha male sees it as having his priorities straight. This is because it is a characteristic of beta males to subjugate their desires for those of other people in order to impress them and gain their approval. An alpha male neither wants nor cares about the approval of other people. He simply does what he wants, and if people approve, so much the better, because he didn’t have to do anything for such approval. He simply enjoys the benefits.
Attribute #2 -- An alpha male is comfortable with himself and knows who he is.
While this attribute is often characterized as confidence, it isn’t. Rather, an alpha male knows who he is, and knowingly projects the image he wants others to perceive. In fact, what an alpha male projects to others isn’t an image at all. It is who he is. An alpha male doesn’t change himself to fit in or gain the approval of others. Women may have in their minds an image of the ideal man. However, when women meet an alpha male who doesn’t fit that image, they can’t help but admire him for knowing who he is and being comfortable with himself. As a result, they may throw away their mental lists of ideal male attributes, or substitute some for those being exhibited to them. This is because most women don’t know who they are, and aren’t comfortable with themselves. Consequently, they and other men who are like them (e.g., beta males) will gravitate toward the alpha male in an effort to bask in the glow of his sense of self and hope that some of it will rub off on them.
Attribute #3 – An alpha male doesn’t justify himself to others.
Justification is defined as “giving a good reason” or “explaining oneself or one’s actions.” An alpha male doesn’t explain why he is or isn’t doing something. He doesn’t have to because he doesn’t care whether you approve because he assumes that you will. An alpha male speaks very little about who he is or why he is doing something, and most definitely doesn’t brag. Instead, he lets his actions speak for him, and will only explain/tell the story if you ask, and then, only if he feels like it. Even then, he’ll speak slowly and say things one time, and one time only. He will not continue to answer pestering questions or tell the story again and again when new people join the group.
Attribute #4 – An alpha male lives in a world of his own making.
You’re probably heard the expression “he lives in his own little world,” often made by those who either don’t understand or approve of the actions of others. Well, an alpha male lives in his own world, or rather, he is the center of his universe and everyone and everything revolves around him. When an alpha male enters a room, he may scan the crowd for attractive women or some other thing that interests him, and thereafter focuses on that attraction alone. He doesn’t constantly look around the room for a new focus or attraction because he isn’t interested. To the extent something new does interest him, he will turn his attention to it slowly and deliberately. In doing so, an alpha male conveys that he isn’t desperate to pay attention to what everyone else in the group may be observing/discussing.
Attribute #5 – An alpha male is the center of any conversation in which he engages.
By speaking slowly, carefully and only when he wants to, an alpha male increases the value of his words. His words are of high quality because he thinks carefully about what he wants to say, and only when he can have the maximum audience. In doing so, he commands others to pay attention to him, because if they don’t, they may miss some words of wisdom or other indicia of why the alpha male is so comfortable with himself. Other participants in a conversation may even seek the alpha male’s approval of the topic of discussion or whether a particular person’s comment/joke was particularly insightful or funny.
Attribute #6 – An alpha male surrounds himself with beta males and submissive women.
This may seem obvious, but many people miss this attribute because the objective quality of the people that surround an alpha male may, in fact, be higher than the objective quality of the alpha male. The alpha male doesn’t care, because his will is stronger, and doesn’t consider the objective accomplishments of others to make them better than him.
Attribute #7 – An alpha male doesn’t convey that he is particularly impressed with anyone or anything.
An alpha male doesn’t express any feelings that he is particularly impressed with anyone or anything. Instead, an alpha male will, at the most, indicate that he respects another person’s accomplishments. He never says “I could do that if…” or “that’s no big deal….” Such phrases denote insecurity, and an alpha male is anything but insecure. Expressions of respect may often take the form of a discrete “nod,” with no words exchanged. Such is the nod of approval and respect among alpha males, and there is no need to say or do anything further. Doing so would be beyond the mere expression of respect, and become a sign of submission.
Attribute #8 – An alpha male doesn’t easily let other men gain rapport with him.
While an alpha male may be surrounded by beta males, he very rarely lets any of them gain true rapport with him, and he will respond to those who try with indications of indifference or even humiliation. For example, I used to know a guy who, in response to a beta male’s attempt to impress him with a particular accomplishment, would respond “ejaculations,” instead of “congratulations.” Other times he would respond with a tough-guy movie line that is tangentially related, and perceived expressly by others as a sign of approval, but is in fact an attempt to steal the limelight.
Attribute #9 – An alpha male will engage in selective acts of kindness.
An alpha male knows that kindness is a form of submission. Consequently, he doesn’t express overt kindness too often. Others may therefore perceive him as being aloof and distant until the alpha male gives them “a chance to get to know him.” The alpha male does so by being open and overtly respectful at just the right time (e.g., invites you to sit down at his table, buys you a drink, pays your club cover charge, etc…) Strategic acts of kindness make such acts more valuable when bestowed on people, and are cherished more because they are so rare. King Louis XIV of France would occasionally invite a particular courtier to dine with him, giving that courtier one-on-one time with the king. This showed the other courtiers that the king could be kind when he wanted to be, and that if they submitted to his will, they too might be invited to dine with the king. Beta males, on the other hand will almost always be kind to other people, often to impress them, thereby making such kindness a common commodity that can be taken for granted.
