Attempting to do the impossible,

ChunLi

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trying to find a universal way to make any women fall for you. After completing my major in mathematics, I felt that this would be worthy challenge to dive into. Like others before me, I will probably be completely off in my analysis, but here it is nonetheless for everyone to tear apart so that I can find the flaws.

The first question that I asked myself is what question am I trying to answer? The answer to this is not as obvious as it seems because, while I am trying to find a way to make all women fall for you in general, there are several aspects to this question that might not be possible to construct a general solution. I felt that finding out how a woman thinks would be good place to start. Unfortunately, because each woman thinks differently, a complete general catelog of all possible thinking patterns would be next to impossible to produce and I certainly do not have the ability to complete such a project. But what I can do is abstractly describe a behaviour that all women exhibit.

As human beings, unless we are brain dead, we all have things that we want and things that we hate. Everything in our life, from work to the different ways to sit on the toilet to how many co-workers we want to strangle all fall into these two categories, each with its own rating of how much we like and hate it. This defines what precidence we place them in our lives and how we react to various events that occur in our daily lives.

Because women are human beings, they will also exhibit this behaviour. Women have their own likes and dislikes, both concious and subconcious, which is unique to each woman. While this is one of the main factors that determines how a woman will behave in real life, this branch of psychology does not have to be fully analysised because not all of it is relavant to our goal. For example, how a woman like to sit on the toilet boil holds no relavance to our topic.

What we are interested in is what woman likes or dislikes in a man. Obviously if a guy is able to convince a girl that he is everything that she wants in a guy while having none of the flaws that she doesn't like, the girl will want to be in a relationship with him. This is the optimal scenario. Because women are human beings, they are all unique and will not have the same likes or dislikes in a man or criteria if you will. Therefore, the next logical step is to find a solution to create the optimal scenario.

Unfortunately, this solution isn't always easy to construct and usually its very difficult to deduce. This has to do with the fact that each woman's unique criteria is unknown and that direct access to it is usually unavailable. Depending on the situation, different degrees of access to her personal information is available meaning that your success of getting to know her varies. It is this lack of information that often prevents the achievement of the optimal scenario. The next choice that a guy has to make is whether he will bother trying to find her criteria, or in other words, get to know her. Ultimately, the choice he makes and the methods he uses to satisfy that choice will dictate how much information he has to work with to mold himself into "the finished product", which the girl will eventually judge. However, because there are simply too many different ways to "get to know a her" and "not get to know her" and that no method can produce consistent results, I have come to the conclusion that this is as far as "the universal way to making any woman fall for you" can go. There is no universal way to completely figure out a woman's likes and dislikes so that you can achieve the optimal scenario.

What you can do is mold yourself with the information that you do have and hope to at least meet most of her criteria so that you can "get to know her more" so that you can further mold yourself with any additional information that you do get so that you can get the next best thing, partial approval, assuming that you wish to continue with the relationship and that she wishes to let you continue. Unfortunately, because of the unpredictability of this method and the fact that I know of no other method, to fully figure out a woman's likes and dislikes, I am forced to conclude that there is no general way to get any woman to fall for you.

Thanks for reading my research. Flames, questions and suggestions welcome.

ChunLi
 

Ronin I

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ChunLi! ChunLi! ChunLi! ChunLi!

Love the username - Frank Dux kicked your ass though :D .

With regards to your post - first off I applaud you for trying to put together a knowledge-filled first post. My first post on this site (while I can't remember what it was) was probably me whining about my ex-oneitis and asking how to get her back (damn I've come a long way :) ).

But to me your post is a lot of text with no substance. All I really got out of it was - "try to find out what she likes and mold yourself into that and then try find out more and then mold more, etc" -

when I used to work in sales I used to train my people in a similar way. The initial contact with the customer was crucial in that they needed to ask the right probing questions to gain information (about the customer's wants/needs and about possible objections to giving up the dough) - this is very similar to what you are talking about. Discovering a woman's (customer's) true wants/needs and then trying to pitch the product (you) and explain how it satisfies those desires.
Now for a ONS, cold pickup situation I think this can be a good approach. But you are talking about something completely different - you are talking about getting women to "fall for you" - that is a whole other story.


Obviously if a guy is able to convince a girl that he is everything that she wants in a guy while having none of the flaws that she doesn't like, the girl will want to be in a relationship with him. Obviously if a guy is able to convince a girl that he is everything that she wants in a guy while having none of the flaws that she doesn't like, the girl will want to be in a relationship with him.

This statement is very, very wrong. Having a good "resume" doesn't mean that the girl will want to be in a relationship with you. I had a recent experience where I learned this lesson. The girl told me that I had everything - looks, success, integrity, good values, etc, etc, etc - but that for some reason she just didn't "feel" it between us - in effect she told me I was everything she wanted in a guy but yet she didn't want to be in a relationship with me - :confused: .

OK so why is this then? I'll use a sports analogy - if you are a baseball fan you know that the New York Mets the past couple of years have had a very good team on paper. They assembled many players together that had been all-stars in the past. Many sportswriters predicted that they would do very well, Yet, the Mets absolutely suck - why? The team never came together - there was no "chemistry".

Similarly in order to make a woman fall for you there has to be this "chemistry" -(of course we hear this word thrown around all of the time). So what is this chemistry, you ask?

Well part of it is what you talk about in your post - building rapport, eliciting values and mirroring them back to the woman, building a "connection", etc. But more importantly this chemistry is built on EMOTION. You have to be able to trigger strong emotions in a woman (good and bad) in order for her to ever 'fall for you". This is the hard part and the part I am still trying to figure out (and why the aforementioned girl didn't "feel" it between us).

So to sum up I believe making a woman fall for you boils down to two things -

1) Having a good "resume" (which basically just gets your foot in the door) - looks, success, money - then being able to sell yourself and build rapport, establish a connection once you have a foot in the door.

2) Triggering EMOTION and building what David DeAngelo. calls ATTRACTION. If you can do this, you are golden.

What you need to realize is that #2 is FAR more important than #1. It is the reason that many women date "jerks" - and the reason why all the nice guys, with good 'resumes' repeatedly fail with women.

I have read many times that women NEED and CRAVE to ride an emotional-rollercoaster. If you can learn how to jump in the driver's seat of that rollercoaster than you can make them fall for you.
 

stormwriter

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I'm personally against the "molding yourself" philosophy, cause it means, in a way, changing who you are, just to be with a dumb chick. Cause, if it doesn't work out with her, then what? Some chicks like a guy that smokes, some don't. Some chicks like a guy that writes poetry, some don't. So, the cool thing about life and relationships and dating is you are who you are, and you find someone that FITS with you. No molding involved. They just "fit" you, and that kind of touches on what Ronin said, about chemistry.

Also, i would think you would have to be REALLY good at your technique of acertaining what they want, and molding to that, without seeming fake. Like,

"So, who's your favorite author?" you ask.

"Hemingway." she replies.

"OH really! Mine too!" [as Cameron dashes off to the library to read some Hemingway to "pretend" he knows about his work, just to bag some chick.]

If she senses you aren't being true to yourself, she could be gone. She would sense that you are a player, trying to create "instant repoire" with her, just to get some fur.
 

Howie Farkes

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Originally posted by ChunLi
What you can do is mold yourself with the information that you do have and hope to at least meet most of her criteria so that you can "get to know her more" so that you can further mold yourself with any additional information that you do get so that you can get the next best thing, partial approval, assuming that you wish to continue with the relationship and that she wishes to let you continue.
I make it a point to NOT mold myself to create attraction. When too much molding is required then one really has to start questioning why you'd want the attention of this girl.
 

Ronin I

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Stormy - I agree with you 100% - which is why I said that the "molding" yourself approach is only really appropriate (if at all ) when going for the ONS - basically tell her what she needs to hear to get the panties off.

The point that you make is very true about how (in a dating situation) betraying who you are will ultimately backfire. Either she will sense that you are lying and/or that you are supplicating. In fact it is better to disagree (in most instances) because the woman will repect you for having an opinion of your own.

I will give credence to the idea of "molding oneself" in that there seem to be a general set of characteristics that appeal to most (if not all) women -we talk about those characteristics all of the time on this board - alpha-maleness, confidence, independence, a degree of unpredictability, challenge, the list goes on.

So while I agree that you do not want to try and be what you think any particular woman wants I do think you want to try and be what most women find attractive. I would argue that this is not betraying yourself but in fact that it is simply bringing out latent parts of yourself that have been repressed by current societal influences. (I actually can't take credit for that as I remember reading something very similar on this site recently).
 

ChunLi

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I guess I should have elaborated a bit more when I was referencing the perfect "resume". It wasn't meant to be exclusive only to tangible things such as looks and success, but also intangible things such as being able to satisfy a woman's emotional needs as well, being able to grab her attention and keep her interested in what you talking about, giving her a thrill everytime she is with you, etc.

You guys are right, molding yourself wasn't such a good idea, because its obviously impossible to completely mold yourself into what is desirable. But would any of you change just a little bit to appear more attractive or would it be an indication that the woman has some degree of control over you and thus should be avoided, depending on the situation.

Some "fine tuning" on little things, such as not opening your mouth when its full when you usually do, is usually possible, but does the ends justify the means? Because I just realized that by molding yourself, you are, in essence, lying to her by trying to convince her that you are something that you are not. Whether or not you are able to get away with it is another issue, but I seriously don't think a relationship built up on lies is going to last because sooner or later, there will be flaws in your foundation and when that happens, everything starts to crumble around you. For the ONS, I guess it doesn't matter because it wasn't meant to last, but for the long term relationships, I don't think molding yourself would be appropriate anymore.

ChunLi
 

DJjazzyJeff

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Originally posted by Ronin I
ChunLi! ChunLi! ChunLi! ChunLi!

Love the username - Frank Dux kicked your ass though :D .
It was Chong Li in Bloodsport, Chun Li is a street fighter character........
 

xblitz44x

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ChunLi,

Attraction happens on an unconscious level. You can't manipulate that. If is almost as if you're saying that women can control who they are and aren't attracted to. A woman THINKS she's attracted to handsome, trusting, sweet, smart, tough guys, and are NOT attracted to insecurity, jealousy, etc...however there are MILLIONS of chicks dating "bad boy jerks".

If you are SERIOUS about this experiment then I'd go to www.seducingwomen101.com and go to the "Enlightment Series" at the top of the page and read your ass off. Some people agree with Jung's theory, others don't. But at least you HAVE a theory...more than you'll get here.

-Blitz
 

Ronin I

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Originally posted by DJjazzyJeff
It was Chong Li in Bloodsport, Chun Li is a street fighter character........
Good call - ChunLi is the woman right? With the "lightning kick" move?

I'd take Chong Li over Chun Li in a fight any day.

:)
 
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