Ate out my first girl tonight, how to progress to a full friends with benefits

[OnTheWayUp]

Hi guys,

This evening, thanks to the information I've received on this site, I got the furthest I've ever got with a girl before. We did oral on each other, and it was awesome. She didn't want to do any more because she has an exam tomorrow, but she hinted that we should meet up again another time. I fully anticipate losing my virginity in the next week. Finally!

Context: this girl plays in one of the bands I play with in college. We've known each other for about a month, but only really started talking 10 days ago or so. She doesn't strike me as LTR material at all for the following reasons:

1) We're both studying in Europe atm, and she is on a break with her American bf solely because of the distance. Slut alert.

2) She said that she finds girls bit**y and has more male friends than female friends. Loads of people on here say this is a red flag. Personal relationships are often like a mirror- so if she finds girls bit**y, it's likely she's one herself.

3) Lots of shoes in her room = high maintenance.

4) Admitted she was vain/ narcissistic (confirmed by modelling pictures of herself everywhere in her room). I don't find this attractive.

5) Ridiculously easy to make out with/ escalate with- I got no resistance whatsoever. She even invited me back to hers ffs. Easy.

However, putting all this to one side, she lives 5 minutes away from me, seems very interested, and will be good practice/ good to lose my v-card to.



Where do I go from here to make this a regular thing? She's going back to the states in a week, so my plan as things stand is to call her in 2-4 days, spike her interest level with some humour (I do stand up comedy, and chicks love it), and arrange to meet up for a booty call. Thoughts?

 

[ARrocket]

Over-analyzing will be the death of you

What you've been doing is working. Keep doing it. There's no need to wait 2-4 days, you call her up when you're free, and you keep escalating! She'll give it up, I'm almost sure of that.

Either way, you only got a few days left, make the most of them! And let this be a good learning experience for you. Now, just do the same things with other ladies out there, and you're good to go

 

[Falcon25]

Congrats on the herpes! Oh and try alcohol, that does wonders for girl's sexual drive, or maybe cocaine. Either way, good luck. haha

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Thanks for the replies, lads. Just phoned the girl in question up at around 22:30 local time- she on a girls' night out and tells me she's busy every evening until she goes back to the USA in 5 days time. I reframed by telling her that I was busy every evening apart from tonight (with the exception of Monday, this is true), and that we can meet up after Christmas unless things change. I might give her a call again on Monday night and say that my evening entertainment got cancelled.

I'm spinning other plates and am going out this evening anyway, but I have to say I'm pretty frustrated. After how easy Wednesday was, I thought this would be the night. How did I handle her rejection?

 

[OnTheWayUp]

bump

 

[Acq]

she is a narcissist, RUN AWAY. She is in love with her reflection, with what her reflection can do to men like YOU.
Her rejection is a good thing.

narcissists usually couple with other narcissists by the way, its a law of nature, just let them do that.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

I agree, Acq, she is a narcissist. I am of the firm belief for the reasons I gave in the OP that I should not get too involved with this girl. However, if I get given an opportunity to hit it, even if only once, I will.

She likes me + is easy + lives 5 mins away = an opportunity too good to pass up.

Anyone else want to comment on my handling of her rejection?

 

[Jeffst1980]

Eh, I wouldn't count on this one coming through--even if you've already hooked up. She didn't make a counter offer, which isn't good, considering she's only around for 5 more days. I would just wait till you see her in person, and make some spontaneous plans then--your odds are better that she'll accept.

Alternatively, you can text her now and again to gauge her interest level--just text ****y/ funny stuff, without asking her out. She will drop hints if she wants to hang.

Whatever you do, DON'T make her feel any pressure. DON'T make it seem like you are calling for a booty call, and DEFINITELY don't tell her you haven't lost your virginity. Girls usually don't "count" guys that they haven't had sex with as sexual partners (even if they've done everything else), so she is going to err on the side of preserving a low count--even if she really liked you. It would be easier to invite her to do something completely non-sexual, then escalate--rather than to convince her to come to your place right off the bat.

 

[Eaglecreek]

I'm not here to lecture or anything...

Anyhow seeing this is your first time, shouldn't you actually have some feelings for this girl before you fvck her.

Don't get me wrong, I do girls that I feel nothing for but my first time was with a girl that I had feelings for and I must admit I'm pretty glad of it aswell.

 

[theunflushables]

I'm not here to lecture or anything...

Anyhow seeing this is your first time, shouldn't you actually have some feelings for this girl before you fvck her.

Don't get me wrong, I do girls that I feel nothing for but my first time was with a girl that I had feelings for and I must admit I'm pretty glad of it aswell.

Why? Your first should be with some random chick to save any embarrassment if you suck in bed.

Don't attach any special meaning to virginity. That's what women do.

 

[horaholic]

I'm not here to lecture or anything...

Anyhow seeing this is your first time, shouldn't you actually have some feelings for this girl before you fvck her.

Don't get me wrong, I do girls that I feel nothing for but my first time was with a girl that I had feelings for and I must admit I'm pretty glad of it aswell.

gimme a break!!

 

[Bluntmaster]

5 days and then she leaves the country and you are worried about waiting 3 days to call her?

Bro, call her and say "you, me, tonight at ------- place"

No more waiting, it's time to use direct approach on this girl. Let her know what you want, they respect that.

 

[f283000]

5 days and then she leaves the country and you are worried about waiting 3 days to call her?

Bro, call her and say "you, me, tonight at ------- place"

No more waiting, it's time to use direct approach on this girl. Let her know what you want, they respect that.

Exactly. You got nothing to lose.

She either accepts or not. Take a chance or you'll end up regretting it later wondering "what would have happened."

 

[Quiksilver]

Easy lay to fall back on.

Don't hang out with her all the time.

Keep your distance and keep the relationship sexual.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Agreeing with the comments that I had absolutely nothing to lose, I went over to her place uninvited today at 22:15 or so local time. I thought a direct approach would work best; given that our "relationship" up till now has been entirely sexual, she must have known why I was there. She wasn't having any of it though, she wanted to study. We flirted in a similar way to before we hooked up first time, then she just started working.

Rather than stand by and watch like a beta, I left immediately on my terms and told her I was going to hang with someone else. Not true, but I wanted to emphasise to her that I have other options (this IS very true) and that she should feel lucky that I came over and showed a level of interest in her.

I'm sure we'll hook up again after Christmas- there's definitely mutual sexual attraction. I'm disappointed that I haven't been able to take things further before we part for the holidays, but by the same token I'm going to a party almost every night this week, got asked out to dinner by a girl today (though she's an UG3 lol!), and am spinning other plates.

In retrospect, I feel that Jeffst1980's advice to arrange to hang out on a completely spontaneous basis/ when she gives me signals that she wants to meet up is the best way to get what I want (ie sex) from this girl. Given that we play music together most weeks, I'm sure we'll find a time after a rehearsal.

How do people think I handled the evening?