At the point where i always mess up

[Ace123]

With the last 2 or so girls who have liked me, i always get to a certain point where i mess up and they no longer like me.

Here's what happens:
The girl will have a definite interest in me, and we'll go out on a date. The date always goes real well, so it's not the date, it's my attitude towards them after the date. Somehow after a date i feel i have to be different towards them, and i know this is wrong but i can't help it.

It was after my last messup with a girl that i decided i needed to find out what i was doing wrong. After subscribing to David DeAngelo's newsletters and visiting this site and going through the bible, i realize i was being a big wussy and acting desperate.

Now that time has come again. I went out on a date with a girl i've liked for a while, and it went quite well. Now, i know that i'm supposed to act the same as i did before the date, ie. busting on her, not talk to her at every opportunity, etc.
I KNOW i'm supposed to do this, but HOW can i do this?
My brain tells me to talk to her more, hang around her, ask her for dates, etc. but i know it's wrong, it'll look like desperation to her maybe?

THis is a wierd problem i have, i know. With girl #1, i kind of ignored her after her first date cause i was a major AFC and a big pu$$y (that's ok, she wasn't that good anyway). With girl #2, i played it better but i told her i liked her and that was it. (It hurts thinking about the stupid AFC mistakes we've made).

So now, just give me some advice on how to act after a nice date with a girl. I think the best thing for me is just to know when i see her tomorrow just to bust on her like i always do, so hopefully the rest of the day will just follow like it was before. But am i also supposed to act just like "the friend" i was before, or does our date make me need to hang out with her more. I'm confused, help me out! Thanks in advance.

 

[JSH]

Im confused too, what exactly do you want help on. I'm not going to over analyse everything that you have done as it is not something that will be too helpful, especially as you have probably already done it. Secondly dont place too much importance on DD.

After a date you do not need to hang out with her more (unless its at school, where its probably kinda accepted that you would - and i mean surely you want to otehrwise you wouldnt have asked her out [are you that desperate for a social symbol-not that its a bad thing]).

for me, id bust on her more than i normally do, but in a nice way, not in a vindictive way and take more liberties than usual (ie tease her about undoing her bra). I know in school its awkward, but you can get over it. How you treat her also depends how far you got with her and whether you want to take it to the next level, go exclusive and so on.

 

[Guitarfreakelite]

dude

..... just be yourself... dont be needy.. beat the bufolo.. if you need to.. dont be needy.. act as if you were dating her 24'7.. ok scratch that.. act as if you dont want her.. just dont be atatched..

one more thing quit blaming yoursef.. some times coincidences happen... some chix are phyco ya konw... thats all i realy can make sence of... but your a smart guy (finding this site and all) im sure u'll be able to find some answers in the dj bible..

 

[Jerky Boi]

This is actually a very common misconception. Often guys think that after a first date with someone, they have to change their attitude towards the girl. This is not the case. After the first date, act like you did before. Absolutely nothing has changed and neither should you. She went out with you because she wanted to spend some time with you..so why should you change? One big AFCish type of action after a first date would be to call the girl all the time, show how interested they are in the girl, and beg for more dates. I beg you guys, stear away from this.

I've come across something very interesting this past year with dates. Alright, I'd talk to the girl, the works, close with the number and just leave. I'd talk to her every other day, either on the phone or online and show her what I had to offer. Exempt some confidence and some C & F. HINT: I haven't asked for the date yet. Most girls will be confused by this point and wonder why you haven't asked them out anywhere yet. So usually they'll casually ask you if you want to hang out sometime. Bingo, you gotta date. :] You don't have to worry about what kind of excuse she'll give you this time. And you're sure you'll both have a good time because she's been anticipating the date. If you played it right, her IL should be very high of you. This has worked numberous times with me and I find it very helpful. Although I can't guarantee anything.

Anyways, back to the subject. The point of a date is to have fun. If she had fun with you, she'll let you know. You shouldn't have to worry about how you're going to act after a first date. Talk to her some more occasionally and eventaully set up another. See where it goes. Above all, don't be desperate.