Asking her to a dance

[Absent Minded]

Dunno about your school, but ours is having our Turnabout Dance around valentines day. Well if you remember my old thread about 'how long to wait', this relates to the same girl. We've been friends for long enough time..we hug whenever we have the chance and play around alot. I think its time for me to my move before someone else does. Ill just ask the simple question if this will work:

Do you have a date for the dance yet?
No.
Would you like to go with me?

I think that approach would work, but im new to this stuff and came here to make sure. Im going to ask her tomorrow Also if that is lame or something, reply with something that would work please

Now if she says yes ill have to learn how to dance, lol...

 

[Brazilian_Blues_Boy]

That's all right man, just don't get too nervous, and ask her naturally.

And it's about time to show some balls and kiss her.

Don't worry, if things go wrong she'll get mad, you'll apologise and soon things will be back to normal.
And if things go right then you don't have much to worry about

(to be honest you'll have, bnut we're here for that)

Keep it simple and it can't go wrong !!

BBB

 

[Absent Minded]

kiss her? i dont go out with her but now that i remember, she did kiss me on the cheek before, and she plays with my hair alot

But then again, she just got out of a relationship like 2 weeks ago, and im not sure if shes ready for another relationship. Cuz i remember at the event we was coming back from, they had broken up there but got back together and they was talkin about what they would do if they stayed brokeup, and she said "i wouldnt date anybody for a long time", but then they brokeup for good...and that line right there has really stopped me from making a big move.

 

[hardwork]

Deeeeeeeeeeeesshalb kämpf' ich jetzt gegen das Unrecht in der Welt!

What women say and what they want are two different things.

Even if she SAID she "wouldn't date for a long time", that doesn't mean she won't date YOU for a long time

This sounds like some major friends-zone, but you may as well go for it before, like you said, someone else does.

 

[Abcd]

I'm no master dj so maybe I shouldnt be giving advice but I'm in the same situation as you except three weeks or so ahead (we went to the dance and now im planning step 2). So here are my thoughts:

Don't say "Do you have a date to the dance" before you ask her - just say "So I have a question. (yes?) Wanna go to the dance with me?". Reasoning: First of all, you're too cool to care if she has a date, you are just asking her for you. Secondly, this falls into the category of giving her every "out" possible. For the same reason you don't ask a girl "are you doing anything tomorrow night from 6 to 11:20" before asking her out, you dont ask her if she has a date first. The goal isn't to pin her down.

On the Friend -> Girlfriend thing, I think this is the perfect time to make the conversion. This girl I'm trying to hook up with now was just my friend before (not a really good friend - that's probably harder), and when you ask someone to a dance its a painless way of letting them know that you are interested in more. It's not as sudden as just asking them out - in the couple weeks leading up to the dance they'll come to expect that to happen later, and they'll be ready for it.
Another thing I've noticed in the past couple weeks is that going to a dance also decreases the friend shock factor - you probably have mutual friends, and they can get used to the idea of you two being a bit more than just friends before you make the transition to boyfriend/girlfriend. You'll then get more "oh that's cute" reactions from other people than "wow how weird! i never imagined that..." That'll make things easier for her, and thus easier for you.

Good luck! I hope it goes as well for you as it did for me.

 

[Absent Minded]

alot of people have already said we look cute together

Thanks abcd, i will take your advice. ill tell you how it goes after school tomorrow

 

[Abcd]

Nice

Cool. Then we can help each other out with step 2.

im xxxx@yahoo.com if you want to use that.

Edit Never mind about that email, its broken and I'm not putting my main one on here. If you want i can set up another one tho.

 

[jmm854]

I seem to remember a great post by Qube about this same sort of topic responding to a question by Steve over the summer...I'd do a search for Steve's thread and pay attention to what Qube has to say.

To summarize, don't plan these types of things. Don't think about them. Just do it.

 

[antimeyzeek]

ahh don't ask the question wanna go to the dance with me, this gives her the option of saying no

tell her "I think it would be a good idea if you went to the dance with me"

tell her "you should go to the dance with me"

not "will you" or "can u"

she is more likely to go because u r not giving her a chance to say no. instead, ur giving her kind of "advice" telling her it is the best thing to do

 

[Absent Minded]

instead of asking her to the dance, i got her number instead would it be ok to ask over the phone?

 

[Quad4IV]

no

If you do it will look like your not a man.

A DJ talkes to girls in person.

 

[Abcd]

No don't ask over the phone unless you absolutely positively can't do it any other way. Wouldn't asking her to the dance have been easier than getting her number? And doesn't your school have a phone directory anyway?

Don't listen to the advice about telling her instead of asking her. You want this to be something slightly special, not just off the top of your head "you should go to that thing with me." Just get her alone for a sec and start talking about class or something. Then say "Ok, so I've got a question that has nothing to do with English class (or whatever)." She says "Oh, yes?" and pop the question. If your problem is nervousness i can give you my strategies on that too.

Good luck

 

[It's all good!]

That approach is good, but I thought you said it was a turnaround dance. Doesn't that mean she's supposed to ask you? Here's how I did it:

Me: (Walking up to HB) Hey, are you going to the Turnaround Dance?
Her: No, are you?
Me: No, you haven't asked me yet.
Her: You wanna go with me?
Me: sure (smiles) but only if you're paying.

This will get the point across pretty well. You do have to know the girl fairly well for this to work also. ( I was just kidding about her paying, help her out with the tickets guys).

 

[Abcd]

Ah thats pure gold right there. Jeez I didn't realize this was turnabout for you or else I would have gone another route. We homecoming and turnabout backwards because we have no football team, so im in homecoming mode right now.

 

[Absent Minded]

ya its turnabout but nobody cares lol, but i will follow its all good's advice today at school