As an African American man, I believe sites like this only FUELS insecurity

[Toast123]

The idea behind this site is a good one with the best intentions to provide many struggling men with a platform in which to share information and ideas at a fast pace suitable within the context of 21st century society. Many different ideas and pieces of advise on tap, with the ability to quickly compare and contrast things you've heard and pondered your entire life about the most mysterious enigma of all...human attraction.

But I believe personally, sites like this while created for the purpose of helping men attain more sex and attract more women actually HINDERS the success of those that browse, write and spend time trying to figure it out.

In reality, you cannot rationalize a way to make a leap of faith. Academic ability and psychological wisdom do not MAKE you braver, more confident, funnier or even more attractive. If anything they provide you with a pathway that's often SO defined and restrictive that you stumble and fall because you're so self conciously trying to follow it without any mistakes. Often the knowledge of how narrow the ledge is actually prevents you even trying to walk across it.

My point it, I believe over analysis and the logical breakdown of one of the MOST NATURAL AND IRRATIONAL elements of human existence can sometimes hinder the progress of those that may fair better running almost blindingly towards potential victory.

Just my two cents.

 

[Solomon]

The idea behind this site is a good one with the best intentions to provide many struggling men with a platform in which to share information and ideas at a fast pace suitable within the context of 21st century society. Many different ideas and pieces of advise on tap, with the ability to quickly compare and contrast things you've heard and pondered your entire life about the most mysterious enigma of all...human attraction.

But I believe personally, sites like this while created for the purpose of helping men attain more sex and attract more women actually HINDERS the success of those that browse, write and spend time trying to figure it out.

In reality, you cannot rationalize a way to make a leap of faith. Academic ability and psychological wisdom do not MAKE you braver, more confident, funnier or even more attractive. If anything they provide you with a pathway that's often SO defined and restrictive that you stumble and fall because you're so self conciously trying to follow it without any mistakes. Often the knowledge of how narrow the ledge is actually prevents you even trying to walk across it.

My point it, I believe over analysis and the logical breakdown of one of the MOST NATURAL AND IRRATIONAL elements of human existence can sometimes hinder the progress of those that may fair better running almost blindingly towards potential victory.

Just my two cents.

I agree with you to a point but what does being african american have to do with it?



Too much of this stuff is toxic this is why it's important to not take everything you read here serious and also take breaks from this site. The truth is guys who are successfull are too busy enjoying their success with women to post about it contiosuly.

The guys who are the most successfull with women that i know IRL never heard of seduction or even know there websites that cater to guys who are struggling with women

 

[Jair213]

i found this site to be good, you just need to filter out wat works and wat doesnt work, ask for advice and come to your own conclusions, it aint rocket science.

 

[nismo-4]

Being African-American myself, this has nothing to do with insecurity. If you're insecure, do something about it. I'm working on getting more physically and financially fit.

Do what makes you happy.

Case closed.

 

[Sneevox]

If you read the DJ Bible, you'll understand that the best posts on this site are exactly what you've described needs to happen.
Really, this site just assists you with more than ladies... it's about life.
Being a man, a don juan, helps you get ladies, and being a man is only possible by living the life of a man.

You're right, you can't put up a facade and execute a list of actions in order to get a woman... and if you can, what happens when you get that woman? You have to continue acting. A relationship isn't about acting. We all know that.

The point of this site is to assist nice guys and average, frustrated chumps in prioritizing their manliness over their women... and eventually reaching the point where they've not cared about women so much that they just naturally can attain women through the due process of attempts, mistakes and learning from mistakes.

Namaste.

 

[Toast123]

Some inciteful and thoughtful replies, one thing you have to give this forum credit for is the integrity and maturity of its members. It really is a bunch of guys who want to help each other out. Pretty cool I guess.

 

[crossedup]

Yes! I know exactly what you are saying. I often feel the same way. They tell you to not try and be perfect, yet much of the advice makes you feel like perfection is required, and then you get in your own way.

The part about being braver, that comes from within. I have been on this site for a while, and I have made great leaps and bounds in many areas of my life, but being braver and having confidence around women, I still stuggle like that. It is one of the hardest things to control in your life. If you saw me, you would think I have it made, above average looks, a competitive career, fancy car, confidence in my social circle (all guys), my own nice apartment. I know almost any girl could go for me and would be happy with the status and all, but emotionally and mentally, I have not figured out how to attract women still, and it is a problem that I just have to live with. My life is great other than the girl thing, and no matter how much this site tells you not to care, blah blah blah, you still do. This would be the final piece to me becoming who I have always wanted to be and I will keep working until I am better at it.

The point is, the site can tell you what to do, but it cannot actually change who you are. You are still YOU and YOU have to have incredible perseverance to go about making these huge life changes. The site can certainly get in the way if you are a perfectionist, which I believe many of us are, and that is why you see many people not improving and not being happy with who they are. There is no such thing as perfect. However, this site has taught me that to acheive anything significant in life, you have to work hard. This site has helped me improve so much of my life physically and financially that people tell me I have the ability and potential to date a lot of women, but I get in my own way. People used to think I would end up nowhere and would never find any real friends due to my formerly crummy personality and how I never spent time improving myself, but I buckled down. Eventually I will be fine because I know how to work hard and I have learned to not give in to what others think. Women will eventually come for me because of this. I have made out with and f*cked a few girls now, much better than before, but I want something more long term with an attractive woman. Could get ugs, but that would be a waste of my time and hers.

SoSuave certainly is a good site if it is used correctly. You can't focus on the techniques so much or try any memorization. If anything, it is telling you to think less rather than more. The site praises hard work which will pay off in the end. I am a 100x more happy than when I first found this site. Stick with it, these things take time. I'm sure you will end up great. Focus on a technical degree and your career, develop good friendships and learn how to connect with others, enjoy the little things. These lessons are invaluable in life.

Good luck Toast! You can do it you are the f*cking man!

 

[backbreaker]

I agree with you to a point but what does being african american have to do with it?

because according to this site he has a built in excuse for not being successful with women. women don't dig black guys you have to be white and rich and have a 6 pack to get laid according to this site.

I have to say this is one of the best posts I have seen on this forum in quite a while. Very well matriculated and very true

Too much of this stuff is toxic this is why it's important to not take everything you read here serious and also take breaks from this site.

therin lies the rub; if you knew how to tell the difference between the good advice and the ****ty advice, you wouldn't be here. you don't know who to listen to.

The truth is guys who are successfull are too busy enjoying their success with women to post about it contiosuly.

not necessarily true. I have had some success with women, I have my reasons for sticking around, mainly beucase i can honestly say that this forum changed my life, and not just with women. There were people here for me when I got here 10 years ago who took time out of their day to help people, to provide some type of direction, I feel it's the least I can do.

It's kinda like saying well why would you listen to anyone in AA all the people who are clean don't go to AA anymore. It's just as much about giving back as it is about taking.


this thread is exactly why I get so pissy about the direction of the inteluall drival that gets spewed around here; it's not going to get you laid. All the site seems to do for most is find more articulate excuses for not getting laid.

 

[Solomon]

because according to this site he has a built in excuse for not being successful with women. women don't dig black guys you have to be white and rich and have a 6 pack to get laid according to this site.

90% of this site is white, and I'm pretty sure that most guys here don't have many black friends. This becomes evident in the "race" threads when you start seeing guys spew some ignroant b.s. I do agree to much emphasis is on looks however as a guy who has been on both sides of the coin, we both know that being in shape helps you with women espeically hot ones doesn't matter if you black or white

I have to say this is one of the best posts I have seen on this forum in quite a while. Very well matriculated and very true



therin lies the rub; if you knew how to tell the difference between the good advice and the ****ty advice, you wouldn't be here. you don't know who to listen to.

I come on here when I'm bored, quite frankly women aren't as high as priority to me right now. I know how to get them, does that mean I'm getting the ones that I want right now? no, but I know why and i'm working on it but it's not because of women it's becuase I wanna be healthy and feel good about myself. This site to me is entertainment, I don't read up on "how to game" anymore cause quite frankly now that I'm on the other side of game again. I'm annoyed by the superlficasim with women


not necessarily true. I have had some success with women, I have my reasons for sticking around, mainly beucase i can honestly say that this forum changed my life, and not just with women. There were people here for me when I got here 10 years ago who took time out of their day to help people, to provide some type of direction, I feel it's the least I can do.

I've read a lot of your posts and if I recall correctly at one time you let yourself go and became fat right? well I'm that guy right now, the fat guy trying to be in shape. Last year you and I were in a thread were a woman left me on a double date and at the time I didn't know why. Truth is I'm not a foreveralone phaggot or a simp. But at the time I was to ashmned to tell you that I was 275 pounds and that's why the women left. I have lost some weight and I still have ways to go. There is no amount of game that will conceal a guy who is that overweight. Yes I'm a funny guy, yes I know how to attract women but when your that fat it doesn't matter unless you are rich.

On another note when I first started here I attained success that few guys could brag about. The truth is I realized that a lot of this site is junk and any guy who is well versed with women knows this, eventually you realize there is bigger things then chasing PUZZY and women. Hence the "legends" move on and you don't see them post no more. Heck even KJ's like Kontroller don't post no more

It's kinda like saying well why would you listen to anyone in AA all the people who are clean don't go to AA anymore. It's just as much about giving back as it is about taking.

Fair enough, too each it's own. I don't mind giving out advice and what not. I'm here for anyone who needs it, but mark my words once I get to were I need to go I'll be more focus on that then women, too much of this site focuses on women and getting laid and not improving yourself and getting paid!

this thread is exactly why I get so pissy about the direction of the inteluall drival that gets spewed around here; it's not going to get you laid. All the site seems to do for most is find more articulate excuses for not getting laid.

No offense BB but not every post you make gets men laid either, this is a website were guys wanna improve their sex life, realtionships, or just plain self-improvment (fitness section). For 3 years I've been bytching about having a Field report section, but no one cares. So what do the mods and Owners do? they make a "Married" man section. The guys who are taking action don't get any support, this is why redudant threads thrive and the field reports have been killed of. KJ's flourish and that's why there's tons of bad advice going around because it's easier to get a green dot spewing reingurated crap then it is to post about you actual experincess (I'm not saying you do this, I know you post from experince,!)

The biggest problem with most guys who do wanna improve is they spend too much time here, I agree with that! I was one of those guys. However the difference between me and those guys was that as much as I read the "classic" FR's and "Classic" motivonal posts. I went out there! I hit the field, I stumbled, I fell, I rose, and I stumbled agian

anyway I'm done rambling....

 

[marmel75]

I would say that while your post has some good merits, I do believe the most critical mistakes that guys make with women can be found and explained here and those mistakes would basically never be realized by most guys, or at least would take so long they would be in their mid 40s before figuring them out. There are of course naturals who don't need any of this stuff because they already do all of this instinctively, but for those of us that are not, this site has a wealth of information...I would never have done some of the things I do now if it wasn't for finding this information...

 

[Zerro]

Too much of this stuff is toxic this is why it's important to not take everything you read here serious and also take breaks from this site. The truth is guys who are successfull are too busy enjoying their success with women to post about it contiosuly.

Yep, it's like how when you read product reviews most of the written reviews will be negative. You're lucky if the people who are happy with it come back and give it a 5-star rating, it's mostly the dissatisfied who bother to run to the Internet and complain.

not necessarily true. I have had some success with women, I have my reasons for sticking around, mainly beucase i can honestly say that this forum changed my life, and not just with women. There were people here for me when I got here 10 years ago who took time out of their day to help people, to provide some type of direction, I feel it's the least I can do.

I also credit this site for helping me recognize the self-defeating patterns I was falling into and get my life back on track. I got a chick now whom I'm very happy with but I still check in here frequently to give back to the community as without it I likely wouldn't have her.

 

[backbreaker]

No offense BB but not every post you make gets men laid either, this is a website were guys wanna improve their sex life, realtionships, or just plain self-improvment (fitness section). For 3 years I've been bytching about having a Field report section, but no one cares. So what do the mods and Owners do? they make a "Married" man section. The guys who are taking action don't get any support, this is why redudant threads thrive and the field reports have been killed of. KJ's flourish and that's why there's tons of bad advice going around because it's easier to get a green dot spewing reingurated crap then it is to post about you actual experincess (I'm not saying you do this, I know you post from experince,!)

The biggest problem with most guys who do wanna improve is they spend too much time here, I agree with that! I was one of those guys. However the difference between me and those guys was that as much as I read the "classic" FR's and "Classic" motivonal posts. I went out there! I hit the field, I stumbled, I fell, I rose, and I stumbled agian

anyway I'm done rambling....

no offense taken at all and I will even agree with you. I shoudl have been more clear. You will never find me making making a post that degrades women as a whole or trying to convince myeslf that men are superior to women or how you can't succeed or have fun beucase all the rules are set against you as a man. I'm not down for that.

 

[ArcBound]

So this post is basically saying if you don't apply wisdom, you won't benefit.

Well no fvcking way. I thought we just had to read a lot of posts here and the women would magically flock to us????????????????

 

[Scars]

1. Guy has girl problems
2. Guy tries to seek help about his problems
3. Guy stumbles across a website like this and starts reading
4. Guy feels a bit more confident
5. Guy goes back to X or meets new girl
6. Eventually guy has girl problems again
7. Guy sulks
8. Guy seeks help again, and stumbles across site again
9. Guy reads more, and gains more confidence
10. Guy repeats 5-9 several times, each gaining a little more wisdom through experience.

Idk about you guys, but this is how it's worked for me. One of the things I stress most is trial and error. You won't be a mac over night, or a year, maybe even never. But you can keep your game as tight as you possibly can, and that's what this site is about.

I feel confident in my ability to seduce woman, but I've also been on this site sense I was 16. I'm 22 now. I still don't consider myself an all mighty DJ, I have a lot to learn, but I'm also confident in the fact that I am light years ahead of most of the guys my age. I can sit here and brag about how many girls I've banged (which actually is a lot), but that doesn't really solve anything. I know what I know, and I try to teach what I know to people struggling. I could also be a struggler in the eyes of other people. I learn a lot just from lurking in the Mature Man's forum, I've received help there and appreciate it. We are all at different levels. But what I'm getting at is there's kind of a consistent process that most of us go through. A lot of people leave this site when things are good, then as soon as they get dumped or their life turns to sh!t they come back. But each time, they learn a new gem. The OP is right by saying you won't learn anything by not practicing, which is true. There are keyboard jockeys here, and it happens. Over analysis also happens. It's just another thing you learn from. It's one more bump in the road you must overcome. I too am guilty of overthinking stuff and completely screwing up my chances, but you know what? I learned from it. This site is pretty much useless unless you can apply knowledge and adapt to it. This site isn't for everybody, but it's a very powerful tool. A tool you can only learn from experience.

-Scars

 

[Hustlaz Ambition]

Good lord there is a lot of negativity in this thread. Calling the PUA community a bunch of **** basically. It may be time to make my move to RSD and stay there. This forum has went to junk as of late. But the idea about this forum needing a field report section I agree with.

 

[Atom Smasher]

"As an african-american man"? I don't get why that is relevant. I think it's important and healthy to avoid labelling ourselves in order to imply that we have special circumstances to consider. I couldn't give a rat's ass what color you are when you voice an opinion, and neither does anyone else around here.

OP, that "leap of faith" of which you speak all too often becomes a leap off a cliff for many men. This site exists as a partial antidote to an enormously skewed society, one in which both genders are massively delusional in their self-assessment.

In a quick nutshell, women are delusionally "entitled" while men are delusionally "worthless" (the worker bee syndrome).

A basic understanding of the current dynamic is freeing a lot of men from the shackles and artifice of societal demotion. We seriously need to take our leadership of the world back.

Some of the more theoretical discussion here is part of the process of the attainment of knowledge that will effect change. Awareness must start with DEFINITION, and sometimes defining exactly what we're dealing with comes across as bitterness or misogyny.

Our hand is forced when it comes to, as you word it, "over analysis and logical breakdown" because society is so deeply and globally contrived and skewed against men on most fronts. I'm afraid that rational analysis is the only method that actually works to enlighten men of the dynamics that they find themselves in. Without that knowledge all too many men are rushing headlong into lives of misery and poverty as the feminized system rapes and punishes them for being men when women feel that "he just doesn't scratch me wherer I itch anymore".

I find it unfortunate but necessary that sites like this exist. This post seems to have a more serious tone than I'm actually wanting to convey. I'm really just tossing my own .02 on the table for the sake of discussion.

 

[Iceberg]

As an American, I find McDonald's new curly fries to be delicious!

 

[Ringleader41]

idk what being black has to do with it, but I do know that most of the white users on this site have no black friends

 

[Solomon]

idk what being black has to do with it, but I do know that most of the white users on this site have no black friends

^^Truth, this become evident in the members I've met or the racial threads that get locked up, hence I started my blog, I can talk about race all I want without being censored

Freedom of speech *****es!