article: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

[MatureDJ]

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

my opinion: How in the world is a woman that puts out as much as these skanks do supposed to be able to pair-bond with a husband?

 

[mangotot]

So the guys featured in the article are young and attractive investment bankers. These guys are a small portion of the male population. The usual 80 - 20 rule except dating done in different way to the past.

 

[Warrior74]

Mad cause they can't make a man commit. lol. They get to decide to fvck or nah. We get to decide to commit or nah. You can't have it all.

 

[Lexington]

As usual, all the blame is placed on men and the women are all innocent little snowflakes. It takes two to tango and they are just as responsible for the current state of affairs.

 

[C-quenced]

As usual, all the blame is placed on men and the women are all innocent little snowflakes. It takes two to tango and they are just as responsible for the current state of affairs.

Wrong. The responsibility falls almost entirely on women. They're the ones who control access to which men can have sex with them and dictate the pace as to how much she's wiling to put out once she has a man trapped in a pseudo-committed relationship. It's time to call the problem for what it is and put the blame where it belongs.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Tinder and all other dating apps work only because girls are CONSCIOUSLY looking for guys who look good on paper.

It actually favors the guys, since when checking out girls, it doesn't really matter if he's checking her out for real, across the room, or online. How guys sort is purely physical. Works online as well as face to face.

Girls, on the other hand, are missing out. They can check his "on paper stats" and his looks (which aren't nearly as important) but not his social skills, personality, self confidence, etc.

The equivalent would be a guy getting a BJ without really seeing what she looks like.

What does this mean?

Girls are STARVING for a guy with decent face to face game, and they likely don't even know it, since attraction is UNCONSCIOUS.

Which opens up a HUGE opportunity for guys who are good at the cold approach.

I doubt any of those goofs in that article (investment banker or not) could cold approach a girl at starbucks and f-close within an hour.

Bottom line is most people are TERRIFIED of walking up to sexy people and starting a conversation. That's why online hookup is so popular, not because it's better or more efficient.

As far as the silly notion of comparing the development of online dating vs. the agricultural revolution, just wait until the next economic collapse, when everybody's broke and Tinder and all those other fake fed money companies are belly up.

See who gets laid then.

 

[mangotot]

Wrong. The responsibility falls almost entirely on women. They're the ones who control access to which men can have sex with them and dictate the pace as to how much she's wiling to put out once she has a man trapped in a pseudo-committed relationship. It's time to call the problem for what it is and put the blame where it belongs.

Since women control "access to sex", the only arsenal a man has is to run the numbers game. Be it tinder, social circle or cold approach, the only option is to crank up the numbers until he gets what he wants.

 

[mangotot]

Thee are whole load of other apps which are more efficient.

 

[the_stig]

So much talk about tinder being a "hook up" app, but in 18 months of using it, I've had one girl invite me over for straight up NSA sex. I'm not even bad looking either and have historically had good luck on sites like POF.

My experience is, women throw up the usual "not looking for sex" barriers perhaps even more on tinder because of its reputation. Maybe it'd be different if I was ten years younger?!

 

[Lexington]

Thee are whole load of other apps which are more efficient.

Care to share?

 

[Lexington]

So much talk about tinder being a "hook up" app, but in 18 months of using it, I've had one girl invite me over for straight up NSA sex. I'm not even bad looking either and have historically had good luck on sites like POF.

My experience is, women throw up the usual "not looking for sex" barriers perhaps even more on tinder because of its reputation. Maybe it'd be different if I was ten years younger?!

That sounds like a very low yield. Have you read up on Tinder game? Have you optimized your pics? Where do you live?

I'm not saying I'm cleaning up on Tinder....far from it. But it's been good for 1-2 lays a month.

 

[mangotot]

Care to share?

I don't do online dating but I just read this one was good:


http://hinge.co/

 

[the_stig]

That sounds like a very low yield. Have you read up on Tinder game? Have you optimized your pics? Where do you live?

I'm not saying I'm cleaning up on Tinder....far from it. But it's been good for 1-2 lays a month.

Haven't really read up on "Tinder game" but have done some heavy experimenting on which pictures work (boggles my mind how 1 picture that's not quite perfect is a match killer). Don't get me wrong, I've had two relationships, lots of nudes, and about 4-5 lays total from Tinder. Not a total waste.

Few years ago I was scoring 1-2 lays a month off POF, so I know I'm capable of it, just not sure why things have become so difficult lately. Soloman is in my city (Mpls) and has expressed several times over that online dating is dead here.

 

[ubercat]

TO
Yr obviously a solid DJ But I've got to say ' starving' is not my experience. In the workplace and social circle women always make a bee line for each other first.

And I m talking groups of 30+ ppl. Surely not every guy there is a dropkick.

Be interested in your thoughts.

 

[62Telecaster]

I dunno...I stay away from apps and online dating just because. I kind of like going out and meeting people in person, but wonder if I should try Tinder

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

TO
Yr obviously a solid DJ But I've got to say ' starving' is not my experience. In the workplace and social circle women always make a bee line for each other first.

And I m talking groups of 30+ ppl. Surely not every guy there is a dropkick.

Be interested in your thoughts.

Say a girl meets two guys. One guy she met on Tinder. Looks great on paper, nice to look at, but chances are guy's got ZERO game. (Since he's using Tinder to AVOID doing any cold approaches). Most guys that aren't "game aware" except reading a bit of strategy online aren't going to push her buttons. She likes the idea of "him," but it's a Johnny Bravo hook up. He looks the part, but doesn't act the part.

How do you think she experiences him? Does he push her ancient and deep need for a man with a very strong presence?

Now consider her experience with a guy confident enough to cold approach. A guy who BEHAVES in an attractive way.

THIS is what she is "starving" for. A DREAM for every girl is to be swept off her feet. This is why girls love Vampire movies. The guy is strong and ULTRA confident.

Nothing wrong with using tinder if ALL you want are hookups. But using Tinder (or any online method) will naturally atrophy your COLD APPROACH skills. And naturally, different environments provide different opportunities to hookup old school style.

Being able to f-close within a couple of hours of a cold approach should be the Holy Grail for all men.

A man who can pull that off will radiate an incredible amount of attraction.

It just SEEMS like this might not be true because so very few men can accomplish this with any degree of consistency.

As a metaphor, consider a world where guys can ONLY nail 5's or lower, despite their looks, status and game. They are getting laid right and left, but when a solid 10 walks up, they would suddenly realize what they've been missing. Until that TEN walks up, they THINK they are fulfilled.

One piece of data I'd LOVE to see would be the average "satisfaction level," felt by girls based on HOW they meet their sex partners. (short term of long term). OR the length of the "interaction" based on meeting method.

As an aside, I recently watched "Enemy at the Gates" on Netflix. Jude Law tends to play characters women LOVE. Charming and ULTRA confident when around women. (Especially that one movie where he was a Vampire).

Most girls today simply DO NOT KNOW what they are missing, since almost every guy they've interacted with (boyfriends, fathers etc) are absolute BETA.

Also consider that one potential reason women sleep around so much in recent decades is it's getting HARDER for them to find what they are REALLY looking for.

The guys they do hook up with (Tinder or not) are simply not that memorable. All hat no cattle.

 

[evan12]

So according to this article people are just swimming in casual sex , I wounder if they took openion of some "average guys " who are over 25

 

[backbreaker]

I think one of the things that technology like tinder does is that it provides the end result without providing the jounye and that in part is what makes dating fun.


to further expand on TO's analogy.. Let's say you have a PlayStation 4. You have somehow created this code or this software that once you put it in the system, it automatically takes you to the final battle fight of every game you play. Do you really want to play metal gear solid in a world where you go from the start menu to facing metal gear rex in 30 seconds lol? The whole point of the game is the journey. do you want to put in madden and be instantly taken to the super bowl game without playing the regular season?


That's kinda what tinder does and in doing so IMHO misses the mark. The fun in dating is not necessarily just the sex it's the essense of meeting new people, going on dates, getting to know people on a deeper level than a profile page. This is what is missing and what leaves people going in and out of tinder pump and dumps



If i were single i'd never date a girl i met on tinder under no circumstances

 

[JustOlder_!]

"Wrong. The responsibility falls almost entirely on women. They're the ones who control access to which men can have sex with them and dictate the pace as to how much she's wiling to put out once she has a man trapped in a pseudo-committed relationship. It's time to call the problem for what it is and put the blame where it belongs."


EXACTLY- This is where the "fun" ends for the girl. This is where the man needs to play his cards at the highest level. This is where and the crux of modern society. I can be free as a bird and pick up as much tail as possible - you commit and it is no longer fun for them to chase. They loved when you were free but hate that you are now attached. Game is dead and they loved the game. I don't know the solution.

 

[Who Dares Win]

It seems like the entire system simply cut out the bottom 80% of men, probably they are not even registered when the girls switch page on tinder, probably their brain register them as advertisment and press skid as default.

No chance in hell its happening what they say in this article.