Arrggghhhh why do Women do this?

[Jaun_Don]

So I had a date with this really cute and cool girl that I have known for almost 10 years, there has always been a thing between us but either her or I have been in relationships and nothing has ever happened except for a kiss years ago...but we went on a date to the movies today and she told me she had a boyfriend, when I mentioned another movie I can get tickets too...so yeah...I didn't say anything to her until after the movie and asked what's his name and how long have they been seeing each other.

I just don't get way after a week of chatting and e-mailing there was no mention of a BF so why is that she would only mention this once she gets too the movie theatre and No I didn't pay for her...and why is it that girls I ask out do have BF's but have no problem going out drinking or to the movies with me?

I am lost and the other date got cancelled last night because she said she wanted to focus on School but after her course finishes then yes...

whatever...what's the point in trying really...I mean really?.

 

[( . )( . )]

If I dig back the memory to my AFC days the "I have a borefriend" line only comes if your game is weak and you come on too strong.

Its ******** for "you had a chance but youve fvcked yourself"

Occaisonally its a sh!t test if she doesnt rate you straight away but I doubt thats the case if its been happening to you often.

btw dont be taking girls youve yet to bang to the movies, meeting up for drinks is plenty enough for starters.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The "I have a boyfriend" defense is simply a proactive LJBF. She's basically sending the not so subtle message "I'll be happy to go wherever you take me and pay for me, but I will not reciprocate my intimacy for anything."

That's not to say a good DJ with the proper game couldn't turn this around, but at this point it's best to re-evaluate whether or not she's worth your effort in comparisson with another prospect that is in fact interested and attracted to you. After knowing this woamn for 10 years my guess would be no.

NEXT

 

[joekerr31]

believe it or not some chics think by telling you they hav ea boyfriend that you'll shower them with attention and try to win them over.

it's a power thing. they want you to know/think that they having a buyer already. so you better make a better offer if you want the sale to go to you.

women like this are pathetic. all the guys you hear about who get married and 5 years later wish they had stuck a lit fire cracking up their c*ck married women like these.

DRAMA QUEEN.

get away as fast as you can.

if you are going to keep seeing her, then a tactic I find often works well is to PRAISE the guy to high heaven.

act like a friend and ask about him. always say things like 'wow, he sounds like a great guy. you're one lucky woman to have him."

see, only a great guy can recognize another great guy. by doing this you saying "wow, if hes as you say he's a real prize. i know becuase im a real prize."

drives them f*cking batty. its like they are trying to create a bidding situation over their attention and you are basically saying "you got a good buyer there, i'd close the deal. I know, because lots of women have tried to close the deal with me."

what makes it work is that if she had prince charming at home she wouldn't be at the movies with you. that is 100% guaranteed!

J

 

[flexion_]

Well you have been in the friendzone with her for 10 years...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Jaun_Don
...and why is it that girls I ask out do have BF's but have no problem going out drinking or to the movies with me?

I am lost and the other date got cancelled last night because she said she wanted to focus on School but after her course finishes then yes...

whatever...what's the point in trying really...I mean really?.

Because you are in the dreaded LJBF zone; you're safe and she doesn't need to care about your feelings. Stop trying to date friends or at least stop complaining when they treat you as who you are, a friend.

 

[Horse Whisperer]

sigh..yeah - been in this situ - haven't we all eh.... She gets some nice, 'non sexually threatening' male company which gives her a 'lift'. The minute she sniffs you want something more, she delivers the b.friend line. pah...
I suppose I would have given up having any interest in a female friend of 10 years standing. She'd suddenly have to see you in a completely different light - like a stranger to by-pass the friend zone. Not sure how or if you'd like to accomplish that. I'd suggest just ignoring her for the next few years [

 

[Jaun_Don]

Re: Re: Arrggghhhh why do Women do this?

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Because you are in the dreaded LJBF zone; you're safe and she doesn't need to care about your feelings. Stop trying to date friends or at least stop complaining when they treat you as who you are, a friend.

You are missing my point...they don't tell me about the boyfriend until after the date well at least a couple have...I don't caqre anymore...and I laughed when I got a text from her saying "u were perfect company for that movie "

I don't try to date friends...I met a girl on My Space earlier this year and her status said single come to go to the movies with her and she doesn't tell me until AFTER THE MOVIE.

I have a number of female friends but these girls I date just seem like AW's and wanting there cake and eating it too.

lastly...we have known each other for 10 years but haven't seen each other much in that time and yes she has been in my bed before and I kissed and cuddled her but no sex as she was seeing someone and I was sort of...

hmmmmm...that was 10 years ago...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Why do you care when they tell you or even IF they tell you at all? They already know that you aren't a threat; why bother? They know that no matter what, you'd be good company... You don't expect more, do you?

You have entered the LJBF Zone.

 

[WestCoaster]

Your thinking again ... stop it!

I'm very fond of the intellect and I hate the stupidity in the ol' U.S.A. and other parts of the world. I hate dumbing down.

That said, when it comes to women's emotions, quick thinking dam-it! Now, stop it, just stop it! Quit analyzing things.

Why do women do this? THEY don't even know why?! You're trying to figure the logic of an illogical human being, that being a female.

Will you please start rolling with things and just relax.

I asked for a gal's phone number one time and she said, "I have a boyfriend." I asked if I could see her when she got rid of her boyfriend. (I did this because I was a nervous AFC, I had no idea it would work.) She laughed her ass off and started following me around.

QUIT ANALYZING and say something like, "Yeah, but you can't find your boyfriend's schlong with a microscope."

Quit thinking and analyzing and if she has a boyfriend, so be it. Cast that line in the big ocean again.

Your over-analyzing sets you up for failure.

 

[Jaun_Don]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Why do you care when they tell you or even IF they tell you at all? They already know that you aren't a treat; why bother? They know that no matter what, you'd be good company... You don't expect more, do you?

You have entered the LJBF Zone.

I'm not a treat?...what the **** does that mean?, you are missing the point...I think it's the right thing to do to tell a guy that you have a BF so things don't get muddled up...the one I met off My Space didn't tell me until AFTER we had a date and it was true because I met him and she even ignored him one night to talk too me...she turned out to be a sad AW anyway, now the other one who I have known for more than 10 years...well come on she should have told me when we had coffee last week?...No?

I'm not ****ing over anlayzing either I am asking what others think?...Stop judging people that you don't even know PLEASE!...gosh

 

[NewMan]

I'm not a treat?...what the **** does that mean?, you are missing the point...I think it's the right thing to do to tell a guy that you have a BF so things don't get muddled up...the one I met off My Space didn't tell me until AFTER we had a date and it was true because I met him and she even ignored him one night to talk too me...she turned out to be a sad AW anyway, now the other one who I have known for more than 10 years...well come on she should have told me when we had coffee last week?...No?

She doesn't have a BF. She told you that because 1) your game wasn't good enough 2) she believes that you will give her the attention she craves when and where she dictates. i.e. be my friend. spend time and money on me when I allow you to.

whether or not she atcually has a BF - is really not the point. HER message to you is "You will not get this pvssy - but I will allow you to spend time and money on me and let you hope and think that you may have a shot of getting some in the future.".

 

[WestCoaster]

Once again with feeling ...

... don't think about women's actions, they make no sense 90 percent of the time. Act calm, laugh off the boyfriend thing like it means nothing.

You're over-analyzing and the responses here are over-analyzing. Who knows why women do what they do? They act on the emotion of the moment and rarely think what's wise for the long term.

Date as many as you can, be seen with these dates (which makes you more attractive to other women -- nutty logic, but it's true, women are nutballs). Act calm, cool, collected, never let anything as stupid as a current or ex-boyfriend throw you off your game.

Don't analyze or worry about the actions of women. Live your own life, act like it doesn't phase you even if it does, stroll through life confidently and you'll attract a higher level woman.

I'm still amazed that my advice here -- the basics of DJism -- is completely lost entirely on this website. It's all about being calm, cool, and collected in the face of adversity.

 

[Survivor]

Been there....Done that.... And I have the DJ Bible article to prove it...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16191

One piece of advice I can give is to expand your horizon of potential mates. Do different things. Go to different places. Meet different people and expand your social circle so that you meet girls who don't have any preconceived notion of your attractiveness. Lay off the girls who already know you.

Another idea is to start cold approaching. Play the numbers game. Yeah you'll suck at first, but the point is to elminate your fear of approaching new girls, not necessarily to score with every girl you approach.

Your success will come with the new girls you meet tomorrow, not the old girls you met yesterday.

Hope this helps....


Oh yeah, one more thing.

As much as this may crush your ego, the problem may be that you are simply not attractive. (Ouch!, I know...)

Whether it be your looks or your talking skills, improve yourself such that you increase your own level of desirability to all women, present AND past.

 

[WestCoaster]

Epic DJ Bible post

Great stuff Survivor, thanks for the DJ Bible link, which is awesome.

There are some popular books out there about rekindling with lost loves and so forth ("My Boyfriend's Back" is a popular book).

If a long lost love comes back into your life -- and I usually don't advocate this -- just have a fun, sexual fling and leave it at that. Don't expect ANYTHING more, period. Get your rocks off and move on ... or don't get your rocks off, but still move on.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, no reason to go with the one's you already caught and released!

 

[JackPrescott]

My friend, the original poster, you are officially in the "LJBF Zone" Get the F out while you still can! WestCoaster is right, live your life, do your thing, and date others, this will either piss her off enough to make her want to sleep with you, or she never wanted you "in that way" in the first place.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Re: Re: Re: Arrggghhhh why do Women do this?

Originally posted by Jaun_Don she has been in my bed before and I kissed and cuddled her but no sex

Kiss of death. This right here is all you needed to post about your situation. If you let it come to this there's no turning it around.

Spin more plates. The more options you have the more desirable you will become.

 

[WestCoaster]

Correct Maximus

Yes, you'd be correct. Look at their actions closely, that shows you what kind of person they are. Don't obsess on their thoughts or words, most women are terribly hypocritical. I.E., "I want to date my best friend, a man who treats me well, blah, blah, blah," .... 10 seconds later she's chasing the overly-tatooed/unemployed/drug addict down the street.

Yes, correct, watch those actions closely ... see something bad, move on.