Are you feeling Lucky?

[Rollo Tomassi]

I've posted a lot about feminine social conventions in the past. In fact I find it hard not to see how these contrivances serve the feminine whenever a noob post some variation of a "problem" that's very real for him, but we've heard hundreds of times on this forum. One of these contrivances is the myth of the feminine mystique. I didn't really cover this well in Operative Social Contrivances, but the idea of 'fate' or luck as it applies to the contrivance of the feminine mystique has been discussed by STR8UP and myself recently so I thought I'd elaborate.

The Feminine Mystique
Perhaps the single most useful tool women have possessed for centuries is their unknowablity. I made that word up, but it's applicable; women for hundreds of years have cultivated this sense of being unknowable, random or in worse case fickle or ambiguous. This is the feminine mystique and it goes hand in hand with the feminine prerogative - a woman always reserves the right to change her mind. While a Man must never be anything less than forthright and resolute - say what you mean, mean what you say - women are rewarded and reinforced for being elusive. In fact, if done with the right art, it's this elusiveness that makes her more desirable. However, to pull this off she must be (or seem to be) unknowable.

On this forum we strive to breakdown confusion and common problems by observing behavior, and we all know that women are human beings with the same basic motivations that men are subject to with some variation. The point being that women are every bit as subject to being as mundane as men are, but the difference is that men don't enjoy a masculine mystique. With rare exceptions, we don't generally cultivate this sense of mystery because we're not rewarded for it as women are - and honestly, we haven't needed to. But for a woman, if she can cultivate this mystique, her attentions become a reward to themselves for the guy who is lucky enough to tame her.

How many times have you been asked by a friend, "so, did ya get lucky with Kristy last night?" We don't think much of this passing question, but it's framed in such a way that men autonomously perpetuate the myth of this mystique. It's not luck that gets you laid. I understand that circumstance and being the right guy at the right time most certainly plays a part, but that's not what I'm driving at here. However, if we feel as though we got lucky, we won the lottery, or walked away with the PRIZE, it doesn't help us to understand what it is we did correctly in a given instance. Not only that it perpetuates women as the prize-givers. You were lucky to have gotten sex with her so it must be something rare and valuable indeed.

Because of this, most men don't question the process or the motives involved in intergender relations; they're just happy to have had the experience. When mixed with sexual deprivation, the luck element makes the sex that much more absorbing. It's this luck precognition for men and fostered by women that leads to the scarcity mentality and often (but not exclusively) ONEitis in men. It serve the feminine if men willingly adopt the luck mindset with regards to their intimacy. Sexuality is a woman's first, best agency and any social mechanism that contributes to the value of it will always be encouraged.

 

[KontrollerX]

Damn Rollo you really know how to cut through the societal programming sludge with a sledgehammer.

Its frightening the subtlety of the manipulations we've been put under for so long when you think about it.

 

[reset]

Stupid question of the day: Could someone please explain to me where we got this notion that women have more intrinsic worth than men?

This morning a co-worker read to me a new story about a kid who created a computer program that spews computer written poetry. I guess when asked why he said it was a valentines thing for a girl he liked, he wanted to do that instead of a regular love poem. The girl said "it was sweet".

Is this part of the feminine mystique? You "got lucky"! With what? To get lucky suggests that the women has more intrinsic value than you.

This is messed up, has nothing to support it, but sure I'll go ahead and base my entire worldview on it.

What was I thinking?

 

[wjh]

It takes being beaten over the head, over and over again, for me to remember these things. I feel I've "broken" away from the matrix some time ago, but you express these notions so effortlessly that I have to constantly come back here and read some of these posts. I still find myself, at one point or another, thinking that some of these social contrivances are not real, but they are! They're everywhere! Then again, outside of this board, I'm not used to positively masculine men accepting their masculinity. In fact, I may be one of the most masculine guys I know. And I'm only 25.

So many guys that I've met have this beaten-dog look about them... One of my best friends is married and hasn't really lived his life for himself. He feels trapped, but he's stubborn, not confident, and ego-invested... I feel sorry for him, and so many others, who don't feel that there is a way out of the assumed feminine social contrivances. I understand that they're quite frankly all-encompassing. I know that and have accepted that as a reality. But I walk my path more carefully. I feel my abilities to observe these manipulations (and they are manipulations) enables me to overcome my OWN self-imposed shortcomings.

I know that, just because I may not have a girlfriend at the moment, that I am not a loser. I know that, just because I haven't had "traditional" date in 3 months, that I am not a loser. Etc.

These impositions, these manipulations - that drive guys to do stupid things like blow their paychecks on bottle service at a nightclub (to look cool for some pvssy), or drive a car they can't afford - pushing those external demands to look or be a certain way that you're not, has been one of my most important revelations.

The best part is, I feel confident that I can, more than ever, enjoy myself more. I feel like I'm living for me! haha.

Thanks RT.

 

[wjh]

Stupid question of the day: Could someone please explain to me where we got this notion that women have more intrinsic worth than men?

Haha, it begins with feminism! Men let this happen! Men have always been the ones in power over the female gender. There was somewhat of a balance that existed earlier. I'm not the type to sit here and believe that NOTHING beneficial came out of feminism, because I believe some things did, but in the end it has also served to put women up on an arbitrary pedestal.

If I had the power to erase the feminist movement of the 60s... I don't know what I would do.

 

[reset]

Then again, outside of this board, I'm not used to positively masculine men accepting their masculinity. In fact, I may be one of the most masculine guys I know. And I'm only 25.

This is very true. Since absorbing all this stuff and incorporating it in my mindset, I can't help but look around at the men I know and observe what they do in this new context. And yeah, almost every thing I hear from them is from the standpoint of earning a right to the girl's affection. Guys I work with make fools of themselves bending over backwards to "help" the female co-workers, or just make fools of themselves and act like "friends" thinking it means something, are insanely vulnerable to women flirting their way into getting special treatment, etc. etc. Women are the gatekeepers to happiness and men do what they can to earn entry into that gate (lol).

Of course, maybe at this point in time I'm hyper-aware of this. A big part of it is I'm reacting negatively to the exact way I used to be. But yeah, for the most part, the biggest masculine influence in my life is the guys here.

 

[reset]

Haha, it begins with feminism! Men let this happen! Men have always been the ones in power over the female gender. There was somewhat of a balance that existed earlier. I'm not the type to sit here and believe that NOTHING beneficial came out of feminism, because I believe some things did, but in the end it has also served to put women up on an arbitrary pedestal.

If I had the power to erase the feminist movement of the 60s... I don't know what I would do.

I suppose so. Damn, I'm 31 now but in the last few years I have finally gotten away from being the guy in high school who would go to the vending machine and buy a girl a candy bar just because she told me to. I write that and it's painful to type, but so much fun to share with you guys.

I mean, why would a guy do something like that? Somewhere I got the message that's "how it's done". Christ.

At some point the matrix assimilated me and it's been weird and rewarding to break away from it.

 

[Jitterbug]

Perhaps the single most useful tool women have possessed for centuries is their unknowablity. I made that word up, but it's applicable; women for hundreds of years have cultivated this sense of being unknowable, random or in worse case fickle or ambiguous. <snip>

Is it Feminine Mystique or is it simply Men's Lust? I mean, all of this mystique or elusiveness is worth sweet bugger all if the woman isn't attractive. An attractive woman can be unpredictable - guys will then say that her mystique is attractive. She can also be totally frank and honest - guys will then say that her innocence is attractive. In either case, guys will think that they'd need to get lucky to be with her.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't find myself being more attracted to some woman because she's acting mysterious or elusive. I'd probably be less attracted to her. I don't think I've ever seen women as mysterious creatures, even when I was a teenager and before I found places of DJ knowledge. I wonder if this has anything to do with the social programming in the feminized Anglosphere/Matrix, because I grew up in another country/culture outside of that, and was not exposed to this myth of the feminine mystique.

 

[STR8UP]

I do use the word "fickle" to describe the female attraction mechanism, but I fully realize that there is a reason behind EVERYTHING a woman does.

That reason might not make sense to anyone but her, but it's not random or ambiguous in any way.

Have you ever seen the inside of a lock?

The way I see it, attracting a woman is like opening a lock.

Some guys have the KEY, and can slide right in and turn. Most guys have to be on point and know how to "pick" that lock by finessing each individual pin at just the right angle in order to get the barrel to turn. And some guys just don't have what it takes with a particular woman, and no amount of circumvention will ever get that barrel to budge.

It's all about two things. First, you have to meet her MINIMUM standards for physical appearance. This is mainly about raw physical beauty, but some things such as the way you carry yourself can have an effect on her perception of your level of attractiveness. This is the first pin in the lock.

Once you've passed stage 1, it's all about "What kind of man is he? This is why it is SUPER important to strive to be the best man you can be. This comprises all of the other pins in the lock, and some women have more than others.

If you are at least average looks wise, then you will likely be in the running with a good portion of the female population. Most guys screw it up in phase 2 when she is watching and testing you to see what's behind the facade. A lot of guys manage to get the first pin aligned, but the rest of them prove to be troublesome.

And as for using the term "get lucky".....I can't remember when I last used that phrase when talking about women. If I did ever say it, it died sometime after I shook the AFC out of myself.

 

[FM 3321]

I feel lucky that I've found the path which enables me to become a real man instead of a real wuss. With no initiation in our modern society alot of men really stay "boys" all their lives and boys ain't great at attracting mature sexy women.

Men have figured this sh!t long ago but it's been lost in modern society. Modern society makes it easy to survive as a wuss when in fact living out in the wild only turns you into a man that never takes sh!t from anyone. That's how I see it in my few years of learning this stuff.

When a man acts like a very effective human being, women start to behave themselves.

 

[Interceptor]

It's about breaking free and forging our own path. Embracing uncertainty. And seeing the matrix for what it really is.
Sometimes men will find themselves in the void, not the 'known'.

Many men were raised to be accomodating.
They have this same stance with women they are sexually attracted to.
This is wrong.
These males seek to accomodate and appease them, they look for APPROVAL.
This is the first stage of the ignorance.

For many males, they will never see this for what it really is.

For others, they have the tools and perspective to break free, and in doing so , live thier lives purposefully and passionately and draw higher quality women into their lives.


Letting go of the neediness is crucial.
Lettign go of the need for approval.
Letting go of the need to impress.
Letting go of the need to spill your guts out and 'be understood'.
Letting go of overly dependant behavior.
Letting go of the victim mentality.
Letting go of the notion of 'luck'.


Men simply do not have as much of a margin for error.

Women look to US for leadership and emotional and physical support. This is KEY!

This is part of the reason why men who who want true liberation and Self Realization MUST SEEK Development of HIGH CHARACTER.

And the truth is, as much as it hurts, many males grew up without that opportunity to FULLY realize their Masculinity.
Women in general, do not seem to comprehend this, and less are willing to accept it.

And many women grow up becoming more and more masculine, to the point where they are so far at the other end of the spectrum, they cannot understand why they don't attract masculine men.
This is what leads to their bitterness, frustration, and resentment towards 'immature boys", who 'can't commit."



Yes, men today have somethig 'missing'.
But so do a lot of women.

The main ingredient that every Man MUST have is tremendous Emotional Strength.
There is no other way.

Women want to feel your masculintiy, they will probe you for it. They are curious, inquisitive creatures.
And thier need to feel you, is a deep mental desires,and also a deep rooted sexual one as well.

This is why women will not trust men whom are iinsecure about themSELVES. Insecure about their IDENTITY.

You must get rid of insecurities about yourSELF.

You cannot overcome a woman's insecurity with doubts of your OWN!

Women aren't used to masculine men whom are confident , know their place in life, know their opath and follow it, and are unswayed by their emotions or their women's.emotions
Women want to know you FEEL emotons. Women want to know that you will be their support when THEY need to go through their emotions too. This is crucial too.
But moreso, they want to know you will NOT COLLAPSE into them.
Men must realize that being emotionally unavailabe is a huge turn off to women.
Not being able to control and deal with your emotions reeks of insecurity. Women know this. and they will stay away.

Women grew up feeling and dealing with their emotions.They are used to it, the bites, the stings, the melancholy.

Men for the most part don't.
We evolved needing other things to hunt and kill, and survive. We don't always enjoy the emotional roller coaster.
We want the hunt, the combat, the race, the challenge.


We grew up not needing them (or so we thought). And seeing no reason to embrace them.
And when we get to a point where we are sexually curious, BAM! hello, Emotions are knocking.

What do we often do?

many men run away from them.

Or close themselves down.

Women realize it, they sense it. And they will stay away.

It's NOT that women are MORE "emotional."

That is bullsh*t.

It's that women evolved to have a better handle with interpersonal dynamics, while we were out hunting and killing.
Men are emotional just as much. But most men do not have the TOOLS to deal with them.
thats what some women call being 'too sensitive."

It is not that men are 'too sensitive'. That is bullsh*t.

It is that many men never grew up embracing and owning their feelings, and with no TOOLS on how to deal with them, and control them. So they lose control and collapse intotheir feelings, thus, they want to STOP feeling their FEELINGS.

Why?
because they feel they lose control.
They don't want to feel out of control. And don't want to feel vulnerable too.
It is uncomfortable. They just stop dealing with it.


Not havng an emotional gauge switch, when they do share their feelings, it becomes a spewing of everything but the kitchen sink,.

So many men grow up not wanting to face their fears and feelings inside.

Thus, are usually, easily distracted and emotionally UNAVAILABLE and EMOTIONALLY NOT PRESENT.

Why is eye contact with confidence so imprortant to woemn?
Why?

Think about it.

it has everything to do with what I just told you.....




They want to nurture you, but not be your mother all the time.

They want to be with a man, not a boy.
They don't want to 'raise' a husband, so to speak.

 

[jophil28]

- women are rewarded and reinforced for being elusive. In fact, if done with the right art, it's this elusiveness that makes her more desirable. However, to pull this off she must be (or seem to be) unknowable.

Women have been taught by their mother's and their peers to exploit the power and control that flows from implementing the phenomenon known as " intermittent gratification ". Sometimes this is know as offering " random rewards" . It works, apparently.

 

[reset]

because they feel they lose control.
They don't want to feel out of control. And don't want to feel vulnerable too.
It is uncomfortable. They just stop dealing with it.


Not havng an emotional gauge switch, when they do share their feelings, it becomes a spewing of everything but the kitchen sink,

So true. Thus the game of acting disinterested to get the woman's attention, then when you get it, finally start feeling the feelings, then start blabbing away since it's such a relief you don't have to "pretend" anymore.

I like what you said about the insecurity. Men can try to soothe their insecurities by always checking in with the girl, if she's growing distant, the man can become more of a nuisance to her and the man can get even more insecure, then all of the sudden its like the movie swingers where he's leaving a hundered messages on her answering machine.

So, if you're not in touch with your masculinity, and are insecure... you will do the behaviors that lead to losing the girls attraction, creating more "failure", which causes more insecurity, which can make the man seek for re-assurance or VALIDATION even MORE...the vicious circle.

RE-connect with your masculinity, be ok with the fact that men have emotions too---which means it's safe to feel and you don't need a woman's permission to feel---which means you won't need her to validate your feelings (you're already validating yourself) and there's a chance you're living an authentic life, able to be your real self, and as a man, when you are your real masculine self, you re-enter the natural order of things, polarity is re-established, you are naturally masculine without trying, she can be naturally feminine without trying (she's safe with you--she can be HERSELF now) and it's like...

the way it's supposed to be. Man and woman both playing their proper roles.

 

[DJDamage]

women for hundreds of years have cultivated this sense of being unknowable, random or in worse case fickle or ambiguous. This is the feminine mystique and it goes hand in hand with the feminine prerogative - a woman always reserves the right to change her mind. While a Man must never be anything less than forthright and resolute - say what you mean, mean what you say - women are rewarded and reinforced for being elusive. In fact, if done with the right art, it's this elusiveness that makes her more desirable. However, to pull this off she must be (or seem to be) unknowable.

Unknowable is a good word for it.

I remember before I found sousave, women who rejected me and told me about the reasons why they rejected me were mainly due (and I paraphrase here) "they don't know the reason why, but even though they think I am a nice and a good guy they see me only as a friend".

Now think about that for a moment. Only a woman can get away for saying crap like that. Somehow they convince us men that its not as simple as being sexually attracted to the other gender but rather they operate on a much more sophisticated level for rejecting someone, a level that has nothing to do with sexual attraction and everything to do with their unknowable feminine gender (which they can't understand themsleves).

No man in the world will get away from saying to a woman " look you are a nice good girl but I only see you as a friend". This girl will immediatly know that you are full of sh1t and you are rejecting her because you don't like her . An AFC on the other hand would probably stick around because he has high hopes that if he becomes her friend and she sees how great he is (by doing typical AFC emotional tampon), she will change her mind.

 

[Maxtro]

I hate women. I hate how they make me feel. I hate how society reacts to them.

It's funny how it's illegal to force yourself upon a woman and it's also illegal to pay for their time. What's the point of being bigger and stronger than women if we can't use it to our advantage and what's the point of having money if we can't use it for sex? I don't mean that literally but my point should be obvious.

I hate the notion of getting lucky. It means that we have no control over the outcome and everything is left up to fate. Unfortunately for my life I've had to rely on luck. Too bad the odds have always been against me. I have gotten lucky 2-3 times in my life but it was with low quality women and only one occasion each. I've also had cases of extreme bad luck where women have turned cold and began avoiding me for no fault of my own. They just snap and without me doing anything different they suddenly hate me. Or if I find a nice cute girl and start talking to her I quickly find out that she has a boyfriend.

I absolutely hate women. And yet there's nothing I want more than one.

 

[FM 3321]

I hate women. I hate how they make me feel. I hate how society reacts to them.

It's funny how it's illegal to force yourself upon a woman and it's also illegal to pay for their time. What's the point of being bigger and stronger than women if we can't use it to our advantage and what's the point of having money if we can't use it for sex? I don't mean that literally but my point should be obvious.

I hate the notion of getting lucky. It means that we have no control over the outcome and everything is left up to fate. Unfortunately for my life I've had to rely on luck. Too bad the odds have always been against me. I have gotten lucky 2-3 times in my life but it was with low quality women and only one occasion each. I've also had cases of extreme bad luck where women have turned cold and began avoiding me for no fault of my own. They just snap and without me doing anything different they suddenly hate me. Or if I find a nice cute girl and start talking to her I quickly find out that she has a boyfriend.

I absolutely hate women. And yet there's nothing I want more than one.

You love women. I love women. You hate the fact that you're not effective when it comes to dealing with women romantically/sexually. Once you get that fixed you'll learn to love women. Women are f.ucking awesome.

 

[reset]

One of the more challenging things in being a mature masculine man is taking repsonsibility for your thoughts, which is where your feelings come from. At the end of the day, the only thing that can make you feel a certain way, is you. Life is what it is, our experiences are what they are, and they mean nothing until we decide to give meaning to them. So, to say that you hate something because it MAKES you feel a certain way, is taking the easy route out of responsibility. No one has the power to make you feel anything. You make that choice.

So, you CHOOSE to feel a certain way about women. When it comes to women, you don't like the way you make yourself feel. If you don't like the way you make yourself feel, your only choice is to choose to feel differently. Otherwise you can choose to feel the same way. It's up to you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u180/John3rd/ControlYourLife.jpg

 

[romangod]

Since women unleashed the power of the p*ssy men have been on the defensive ever since without a corresponding weapon. It seems that more men are unlucky these days as their manhood gets stomped on from all sides and they are drawn into the matrix which is designed to totally devour them. There are exceptions to the rule but that is dependant on a benevolent female who has reached some degree of enlightenment and excercises her power rationally. This type of woman is rare and may soon be extinct.

 

[Colossus]

I feel lucky that I've found the path which enables me to become a real man instead of a real wuss. With no initiation in our modern society alot of men really stay "boys" all their lives and boys ain't great at attracting mature sexy women.

Men have figured this sh!t long ago but it's been lost in modern society. Modern society makes it easy to survive as a wuss when in fact living out in the wild only turns you into a man that never takes sh!t from anyone. That's how I see it in my few years of learning this stuff.

When a man acts like a very effective human being, women start to behave themselves.

I concurr. Nothing we discuss here is really earth-shattering in terms of social interaction and being a Man. It may be personally profound, but men have been men for ages. It just happens we live in an era of social catering towards women and a culture of raising grown-up boys. I think it's easy to get this air of esoteric piety in our community because we think that our views and understandings are far beyond those of the 'matrix'---and in most cases they are---but really this is a group of guys who have learned to be MEN in an era that is ever-condusive to the feminine perogative and agenda.