Are they all Addicted?

[Knight's Cross]

After doing a after action assesment of the situation I got my self in here's some lessons.
Many women (and I almost think all) need such large amounts of validation, control over their man, affection,etc. That it's just a ticking time bomb before all guys get themselves into a corner. Myself included. I tried to make my relationship a go, and from a distance it was good. I didn't pick up on the fact that she was expecting me to keep the same level of affection/ affirmation she got in little weekend romances going when we got to living together. She didn't pick up that I'm not that romantic/ affecionate 24/7(no guy is) when we began living together.
So again it brings me back to the question: Have all women been brainwashed to believe that guys have to be 24/7 supplicating woosies? Seems to me western society pushes that agenda. I've dated a quite a few women that believe there's a Romeo out there for them. They read about it, see it on TV, media, advertising, all bombard them with either a supplicating doofus of a guy in a relationship aka Beta provider, or they see a Alpha they think they are entitled to.
When I realized that I'd rather bang one of my 20 something interns(haven't but that hasn't made me think about 20 somethings carefree attitudes). Vs. spend my days putting up with the BS of a 30something with a "you must be my supplicating beta" Makes ya think about it.
So when you catch yourself with a "Modern woman" realize behind those eyes is a agenda. Rare is the 30+ that doesn't have a idea of what she's entitled to, or what she thinks she should be provided by you.
KC

 

[squirrels]

"All" is a very strong word. But yes, most women these days see men through a very narrow lens. Just like we're taught by society/media/peer pressure to value sex above all else, women learn from the same societal imagery that men are just buffoons who want to f**k all the time...they have no idea how much more there is to us.

So if we're not constantly trying to crawl up her skirt, it completely blows a woman's mind.

 

[zekko]

Have all women been brainwashed to believe that guys have to be 24/7 supplicating woosies?

I'm a little confused about something here.
This site teaches that women are not attracted to supplicating wussies.
Yet you're saying that if you are not a supplicating wussy they will reject you.
Which is true?

 

[PokerStar]

I'm a little confused about something here.
This site teaches that women are not attracted to supplicating wussies.
Yet you're saying that if you are not a supplicating wussy they will reject you.
Which is true?

both are true.

essentially it is better not to be a wuss, yes?

i think that women want you to be supplicating all the time but waht they really want someone who is a challenge, someone to keep them on their toes.

women always say what they dont mean.

PLUS, supplicating is boring. hey if any woman was there all the time i too would get bored as easily.

 

[Noodles]

"All" is a very strong word. But yes, most women these days see men through a very narrow lens. Just like we're taught by society/media/peer pressure to value sex above all else, women learn from the same societal imagery that men are just buffoons who want to f**k all the time...they have no idea how much more there is to us.

So if we're not constantly trying to crawl up her skirt, it completely blows a woman's mind.

Bingo.

This site teaches that women are not attracted to supplicating wussies.
Yet you're saying that if you are not a supplicating wussy they will reject you.
Which is true?

I think it's harder to be some kind of domineering superman when you live with a girl. I've had good mates that used to go out on the town with me and the boys and cause all kinds of trouble, completely change after they move in with a girl.

They get comfortable. They get lazy. They stop working out. They stop seeing their friends so much. The reason? Apparently it's because they want an 'easy life'.

Moving in with a girl appears to me to be a war of attrition. However good you are, she will wear you down until you see things her way. Which is why I'll never move in with a girl. I mean to I really want to see her shave her legs?!

 

[Colossus]

I think it's harder to be some kind of domineering superman when you live with a girl. I've had good mates that used to go out on the town with me and the boys and cause all kinds of trouble, completely change after they move in with a girl.

They get comfortable. They get lazy. They stop working out. They stop seeing their friends so much. The reason? Apparently it's because they want an 'easy life'.

Moving in with a girl appears to me to be a war of attrition. However good you are, she will wear you down until you see things her way. Which is why I'll never move in with a girl. I mean to I really want to see her shave her legs?!

Yeah I'm inclined to agree. It always seems like a good idea at the time, but if you're going to live with a woman you may as well be married to her. I just dont quite see how that would be BETTER than living in separate places. You gotta have that time away to keep it fresh.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear KC,
Just for a laugh,why not try a Mainland Chinese Girl?.....Here the boot will be on the other foot....In a nutshell these Girls have learned the joy there is in providing service.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Not going to try a Foriegner just for the sake of it. Been there, done that. Westernization, Feminist movement, etc. They've all caused us to get easy lays, but bad long term investments. Not saying that previous generations have had it better, they had just as much nagging, woman controlling their husbands, etc. I will say something I am proud of about my past relationship. Once real early in ex gf said something to the effect of," If I don't feel it for you at some point will you fight for me/ our relationship"? I totally passed that $hit test. I said absolutely not. I'd say it was fun, and have a good life. Well, never caved on that one. When she turned into a problem, I did exactly what I said I would do, I pulled the Black and Yellow handle and ejected from the relationship~
Stay strong my Brothers~
KC

 

[Colossus]

Once real early in ex gf said something to the effect of," If I don't feel it for you at some point will you fight for me/ our relationship"? I totally passed that $hit test. I said absolutely not. I'd say it was fun, and have a good life. Well, never caved on that one. When she turned into a problem, I did exactly what I said I would do, I pulled the Black and Yellow handle and ejected from the relationship~
Stay strong my Brothers~
KC

Awesome story, and I would say the exact same damned thing. My father always told me I need to be willing "to fight for a relationship". I love my dad but I totally disagree, for the same reasons as you. She has to want me out of her OWN volition. Genuine desire is not something that can be negotiated.

 

[Warrior74]

About fighting for a relationship. I was seeing my ex after we broke up. It was just booty calls and no real hanging out. She tells me she's dating another guy and is moving away with him. I said, okay. Good luck.

Later through friends I heard that she told everyone that I refused to fight for her. And that she wanted to be with me, but I didn't want to fight to have her and the other guy did. It left me disgusted. What is it that women say? If you want to be with me, be with me. Apparently a man cannot say the same thing. We have to say, I will fight to have you with me, I will do what the other guy won't, I will prove to you I am worthier than he is.

So if I would have "fought" for her I could still have her. She was the prize to be won and I refused to compete. On one hand I can totally understand it. And on the other I cannot. How else can she tell that you mean what you say? (of course, I didn't say I wanted to be with her, and I didn't care if she left or not. She was trying to force my hand). On one hand she has the father of her child that is basically just using her for sex. And on the other she has this guy promising her a great new life together. I can totally understand her making that choice. I'm not mad about it.

But on the other hand, she never understood why she was only being used for sex. She never understood the mistakes she made that made me loose all respect for her and she never made one bit of an effort to apologize or explain herself. She never took any steps to repair what was broken. There was no self reflection. There was no atonement. And because I knew this, I couldn't fight for her.

A woman worth fighting for is a woman who is worthy of you, and you've screwed up and you want her back. That's probably what other people mean when they say fight for your woman. You fight to repair the damage you have done. But she has to be someone worth it. Yah I know, there are guys here who say no woman is worth it. But I bet if even Rollo did something fvcked up that put his relationship in jeopardy he would try to do the right thing to repair it. Only a foolish and arrogant man thinks he doesn't need to correct his mistakes.

 

[jophil28]

She never understood the mistakes she made that made me loose all respect for her and she never made one bit of an effort to apologize or explain herself. She never took any steps to repair what was broken. There was no self reflection. There was no atonement. And because I knew this, I couldn't fight for her.
.

I have seen and experienced that same outcome many times.
I came to the conclusion that women regard their pvzzy and their sexual "gift" to you as final reasons for you to continue the chase.
They seem to have a blind spot to their own poor behavior. I am inclined to believe that they cannot understand why a man would pass up a pvzzy- albeit a badly behaved one. After all they believe that sex is "The glittering prize" that no man could possibly resist.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I bet if even Rollo did something fvcked up that put his relationship in jeopardy he would try to do the right thing to repair it. Only a foolish and arrogant man thinks he doesn't need to correct his mistakes.

I have trouble imagining what I could do that would put my marriage in jeopardy. I think that it would have to be something so heinous that it would put my life or our daughter's life at risk. In which case I suppose it would irreparable anyway. And rightly so.

That said, I'm human. I ƒuck up like anyone else all the time and I own my mistakes. It's folly not to learn from them. However, there's a fine line between self-correction and self-deprication. I think far too many men believe that self-flagellation the best way to endear themselves to women. As if by admitting their faults the women in their live's will appreciate them better. They're too ready to blame themselves and this becomes their condition.

While I do think that owning our misgivings is necessary, acknowledging them with women needs to be a rare enough occasion that the significance of it can be appreciated.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Unfortunately mainstream media presents that the GUY should always grovel, aplogize, etc. Rarely have I been in a relationship where the woman I was with could truly apologize. As in, she not only said it, but lived it. Oh they know the societal norm of saying they are sorry for a infraction, but rarely do they own it. Or you get one of my other favorites. Score keeping. Couple months back I said something to my ex girfriend that was disrespectful. She called me on it. I owned it, and gave a heartfelt apology. I vowed never to do what I did again. For weeks it was held over my head. Finally I advised her that apparently she didn't accept my apology. She said that she did. I then asked,"then why haven't you let go"? She couldn't answer.
KC

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

From the 16 commandments of poon:

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

 

[squirrels]

From the 16 commandments of poon:

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

Reminds me of the movie Die Hard. That's when you say "I'm sorry"...after a firefight with terrorists, pulling shards of broken glass out of your feet, and fully convinced that you're going to die before you have a chance to let her know how you feel.

 

[Burroughs]

. Not saying that previous generations have had it better, they had just as much nagging, woman controlling their husbands, etc.

Not true.

Previous generations of men in the west and in China and India today had/have it better simply because the women had/have no choice. She ****s up; affair, unable to care for kids, no sex. Throw her out in the cold. She is shunned by the village and her family. My co-workers from other countries LAUGH at what we American guys have to go through.

I speak with my Chinese and Indian co-workers about this all the time. I work in a lab. These are high level PHDs, nerdy guys, wouldn't get laid if they were american... all have wives that are cute and docile, in a word ladylike. The wives all cook, some work I'm sure they nag of course, but all hold their husbands to be higher than themselves...Its a wonderland I'll tell you.