Approaching women sitting across the bar at a very busy place. To approach or not?

[oc16]

My buddy and I were at a pretty nice "tavern" with a very large rectangular bar. It was very crowded and diagonally across from us (at about our 130 or 2:00) were two women who were HB7's at least. They were about 10 yards away from us. My friend and I are both close to mid 40's and I would say this woman was mid to late 30's (her friend looked younger)

I thought the one (older of the two) was looking in our direction and we made eye contact maybe 2 to three times (not prolonged eye contact per se, but not quick glances either) After the one eye contact; I even saw her whisper something to her friend. A little later on, a third woman was over there talking to them.

The thing is my buddy didn't seem to notice it and only the one girl seemed to be looking over periodically; her other friend wasn't.

What do you do in this situation? I am there drinking beers with my friend (in a pretty nice place) and they are there having drinks (high end ****tails) and then later they were eating sushi. Should we have gone over to talk to them even though they were busy drinking and eating and only one of them seemed possibly interested? I don't think my friend was even that motivated to do anything. I also mentioned, it was very busy, so there were plenty of people around who would of noticed us approaching.

In my opinion, it didn't seem like an ideal situation to do an approach, but could of been a blown opportunity.

This is also the reason (as other have mentioned) I like to approach women when I am alone. Having a male friend(s) with me who doesn't feel like going over there to talk (I am not going to leave my friend high and dry) or could possibly ****block me certainly isn't a good time.

 

[TheProspect]

You're spending too much time overanalyzing instead of taking action. Experience is the best teacher.

What works for others may not work for you, game is not usually a one-size-fits-all approach. The only way you can find out what works for you is through trial and error. That means taking action. Take action enough to get an adequate sample size to recognize patterns that work and don't work for you, then calibrate your approach accordingly.

The point being that it may not be an ideal situation to do an approach, but if you think it may have been a blown opportunity, it would have been worth it to shoot your shot and find out the hard way.

 

[Willie Naylor]

What do you do in this situation? I am there drinking beers with my friend (in a pretty nice place) and they are there having drinks (high end ****tails) and then later they were eating sushi. Should we have gone over to talk to them even though they were busy drinking and eating and only one of them seemed possibly interested? I don't think my friend was even that motivated to do anything. I also mentioned, it was very busy, so there were plenty of people around who would of noticed us approaching.

In my opinion, it didn't seem like an ideal situation to do an approach, but could of been a blown opportunity.

This is also the reason (as other have mentioned) I like to approach women when I am alone. Having a male friend(s) with me who doesn't feel like going over there to talk (I am not going to leave my friend high and dry) or could possibly ****block me certainly isn't a good time.

Yes, this was a blown opportunity.

Other people in the bar aren't concerned with the fact that you're approaching HB7.

Don't be another one of these 'bros before h0es' doofases. If your friend wants to be a b!tch and make excuses as to why he doesn't want to approach the girls, fvck him. Approach yourself.

 

[oc16]

You're spending too much time overanalyzing instead of taking action. Experience is the best teacher.

What works for others may not work for you, game is not usually a one-size-fits-all approach. The only way you can find out what works for you is through trial and error. That means taking action. Take action enough to get an adequate sample size to recognize patterns that work and don't work for you, then calibrate your approach accordingly.

The point being that it may not be an ideal situation to do an approach, but if you think it may have been a blown opportunity, it would have been worth it to shoot your shot and find out the hard way.

True.

I guess my main point is, being with a friend or a group of friends just complicates things (atleast for me).

What if there are three of you and three women across the bar. However , only two of the three are attractive? Which friend backs off and takes one for the team? Friends trying to flirt with the same woman only brings out envy, jealousy and tension.

Or you want to approach a woman but you are with your boys. You don't want to leave your buddies, "bros before hoes"

Hence, why I prefer to flirt and approach alone.

 

[TheProspect]

Hence, why I prefer to flirt and approach alone.

Then just do this.

I wouldn't worry about overcomplicating approaches with a "if X, then Y" gameplan. You want your approach to come off as natural and spontaneous, not overly contrived. The interaction should be fun, and not feel like an elevator pitch.

What if there are three of you and three women across the bar.
Or you want to approach a woman but you are with your boys. You don't want to leave your buddies, "bros before hoes"

If you're out with the boys, then you're out with the boys, but if a situation arises that makes an approach viable, then take advantage of it before that window closes...

The important part here is to quickly introduce your buddies to the girls (or vice-versa) if the approach is going well. One of my pet peeves when I'm out with friends is if one opens a girl (or group of girls), but fails to introduce me to the girl/s within a few seconds. Don't be that guy. Being a solid, supportive friend is more important than competing to get laid.

Which friend backs off and takes one for the team? Friends trying to flirt with the same woman only brings out envy, jealousy and tension.

All else being equal, the girls will more or less pick who's getting laid for you. You and your friends should be socially calibrated enough, and have enough respect for one another, to know when to back off instead of competing for the same chick. Again, being a solid, supportive friend is more important than competing to get laid.

 

[MissouriMark]

The one looking at you may have been the only one single, the other 2 may have not been and weren't interested in looking at any men so they basically kept to themselves. If you were hesitant to approach her in a crowded place, I'm sure she was even more hesitant to do the same.

Since you said she glanced over at you more than once, may have meant she was hoping for you to go talk to her. Not sure if this would be a good opener, but if you DID walk over to her something you could have said was, "hey I just noticed you were looking over in my direction a few times, I'm oc16".

And introduce yourself and even comment or ask about what she's drinking. If she gives any kind of response like, " oh I wasn't really looking at you, I was blah blah blah" then she was probably not interested and I would bow out depending on if she was acting cold towards you like you were bothering her. Otherwise if she seemed receptive to your opener, then roll with it.

 

[2Rocky]

What do you do in this situation? I am there drinking beers with my friend (in a pretty nice place) and they are there having drinks (high end ****tails) and then later they were eating sushi. Should we have gone over to talk to them even though they were busy drinking and eating and only one of them seemed possibly interested? I don't think my friend was even that motivated to do anything. I also mentioned, it was very busy, so there were plenty of people around who would of noticed us approaching.

In my opinion, it didn't seem like an ideal situation to do an approach, but could of been a blown opportunity.

This is also the reason (as other have mentioned) I like to approach women when I am alone. Having a male friend(s) with me who doesn't feel like going over there to talk (I am not going to leave my friend high and dry) or could possibly ****block me certainly isn't a good time.

Your friend is a grown up, he can handle being left alone for a few minutes. (exception is if he is going through a mental crisis and you are helping hm deal with it.

If he **** blocks you he ain't a friend.

If these women were a Whale of an account, and you were in sales, you would certainly introduce yourself, Right? Gotta have the same mindset...don't have to do the hard sell , just introduce yourself. One of my smoothest ONS's was

I'd rolled into the Hotel after watching a semipro baseball game. My conference was in the morning and she was sitting at a High Top just feet from the bar, drinking red wine and reading what looked like meeting notes. I ordered my beer and had a sip or two and glanced around to see none of my usual colleagues had arrived yet. I glance over to her as the waiter brought out her dinner. Filipina, slender, mid 40's with hair down to her shoulders and a ready smile.

I opened with a question "What are you eating there?"
She met my gaze and answered "Crab cakes, but they are huge!"
I introduced myself and we traded names and she immediately offered me one of her Crab cakes. I demurred, but asked if I could sit at the table with her. She invited me to sit down.

 

[SW15]

You approach, with or without a friend. You missed a good opportunity.

 

[oc16]

Well, I'm not going to beat myself up over it, her "IOI's" were 50/50.

Now, if I got eye contact and a slight smile that's almost always a golden ticket. In that case, I would be kicking myself.

 

[Mike32ct]

The ideal situation is when the women are on the same side of the bar as you, and you only have to turn your head and start talking. That's golden.

The less ideal (but still doable) situation is when you have to walk over to another section of the bar to meet them. You need to approach yourself. If your buddy chickens out and doesn't come with you, so be it. If he follows along but is too shy to talk to them, so be it. Gotta lead by example, or just go out alone.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

No need to approach in this situation.

Eye contact, facial expressions and some creativity is all you need.