approach rant

[BlurredEdge]

o.k. this happened 50 minutes ago and I'm still pissed
tonight I went to a local college to take my ase tests for the first time(mechanic tests).
I got there at 6:45 p.m. the college wasn't that crowded just primarily people there to take the same tests.
I get to my room where I'm going to take a test, and their are two woman giving out the test and supervising it, one is like 40 yrs old the other I'm guessing 19 or 18 and she happens to be like an 8.

During the test I made one or two eye contacts with her, but not enough to determine if she was intrested.
anyways I'm taking a lot of tests and it's down to just me, two other dudes taking the test, and the 40yr and the 8.
a couple of minutes before I finish my test, and the two other guys are still taking their's the 8 gets up and leaves the room.
I finish the test leave the room and head to the exit.
Just as I get to the big room with tables that you exit out of.
I see the 8 alone at a table, now there is no one around cause it's like 9:30 p.m.
and she seems to be reading a magazine, being I have never approached and I'm in an area I never go to, and there is no one around don't you think that would of been a good time to approach?? I do
anyways my pu$$y a$$ like always just keeps walking to the exit.
So the whole time I'm walking to my car and I'm in my car I'm like beating my head against the steering wheel.
I'm 19 so this chic was my age, and if I got rejected and didn't get the #, who cares no one else is around and I'll probably never see her.
I've been reading the dj bible since sept, I'm a member since jan
I'm definately more confident and I know to be C&F and everything else ..WHY CAN'T I APPROACH?? and I know that's not the first time you guys have heard that
What can I do to kick myself in the a$$ to approach??, cause I'm sick and tired of pu$$ying out..
I hope you all can help

 

[golf299]

when i was still a recovering afc, i needed some outside source to make me approach...like some friends telling me to do it repeatedly. i could then do it, but i was still an afc. after much nervousness/tension and regret i knew i had to find a new way to approach. thus, the dj mentality. whenever i would start doubting myself about making an approach (which i still do occassionally) i just ask myself "what would a dj do?" i want to make myself and you guys proud, so the answer is clear, and i have no choice but to approach. good luck. and remember: your success is our success.

 

[Starman]

I still have problems like this approaching women I find extrremely attractive..the less attractive girls I could care less about

For some reason..positive thinking, non stop reading, friends pushing me didnt work..

the thing that I realized is that EVERYTHING good in LIfe will come with a price to pay ..EVERYTHING


I had no options left..except to think to myself.."If you want to meet women..get a g/f, live a happy life...YOU HAVE TO take initiative"

You HAVE to

there is no way of weaseling out of this..(I even tryed weasling with Internet dates, blind dates, etc) but the girls I wanted..were always out of my reach..until I decided that sometimes..getting rejected by 100 women...to meet 1 special one..is worth it.

I guess its the concept of hitting "rock bottom"..when you realize all your previous methods have proved futile..and this was the only proven way..You WILL do it.

 

[Oxide]

i still have this happening to me sometimes, and it does stink.


just think of this man, you are going to go home. And you are going to sit down and wonder why the hell you are not having fun somewhere with this girl...and next time dont wuss out.

 

[BlurredEdge]

re

thanx starman, oxide, golf for your advice so far.
starman was right I was probably a little intimidated by her looks
but I'm trying to do that whole be a man, don't compliment her cause that's what everyone else does..etc..
it caught me off guard a little cause when I turned the corner there she was sitting at a table probably like 25 feet away..
when I got to my car I said to myself "what the hell was that the perfect chance for your first approach and you fuyked it up"
as soon as I saw her my mind starting working for open lines I didn't get hit with one until I got to the car but I couldn't of said
"They got you staying late tonight"..? as sort of a question, then sit down close to her and ask her if she had classes tomorrow and what they were.
where are you from?? you know the usual stuff, I can think of a billion now that it's been a little while.
then all I had to do was say "hey I gotta get going but give me your number and we can do something later"
Starman I think I hit ROCK BOTTOM!! I don't want to be like this anymore..
I'll keep everyone posted if I get to my first approach soon

 

[TheCollector]

I just started approaching and talking to more girls in general and the key for me is that even if the conversation doesnt go well im proud for not wussing out. When i miss an opportunity it feels ten times worse than simply going up to the girl and starting a conversation with her.

 

[Starman]

Heh blurred .. I dont think you have reached rock bottom..rock bottom means u are so consumed by the idea of sex, desperation, lonliness, hopelessness, helplessness, meeting women...that you finally come to the realization that BEING REJECTED is a means to an end .. and a FACT OF LIFE..you come to accept this..and realize Not Trying/approaching feels much much worse...than dealing with all those negative feelings

Another thing that has helped me is ALWAYS try to talk to strangers..i.e. if you notice something funny/peculiar at a grocery store, menu, mcdonald's..point it out to the person next to you and say something to them..so that they can positively reinforce your attempt at making conversation/approaching

 

[ApocalypseCow]

Originally posted by BlurredEdge
o.k. this happened 50 minutes ago and I'm still pissed
tonight I went to a local college to take my ase tests for the first time(mechanic tests).
I got there at 6:45 p.m. the college wasn't that crowded just primarily people there to take the same tests.
I get to my room where I'm going to take a test, and their are two woman giving out the test and supervising it, one is like 40 yrs old the other I'm guessing 19 or 18 and she happens to be like an 8.

During the test I made one or two eye contacts with her, but not enough to determine if she was intrested.
anyways I'm taking a lot of tests and it's down to just me, two other dudes taking the test, and the 40yr and the 8.
a couple of minutes before I finish my test, and the two other guys are still taking their's the 8 gets up and leaves the room.
I finish the test leave the room and head to the exit.
Just as I get to the big room with tables that you exit out of.
I see the 8 alone at a table, now there is no one around cause it's like 9:30 p.m.
and she seems to be reading a magazine, being I have never approached and I'm in an area I never go to, and there is no one around don't you think that would of been a good time to approach?? I do
anyways my pu$$y a$$ like always just keeps walking to the exit.
So the whole time I'm walking to my car and I'm in my car I'm like beating my head against the steering wheel.
I'm 19 so this chic was my age, and if I got rejected and didn't get the #, who cares no one else is around and I'll probably never see her.
I've been reading the dj bible since sept, I'm a member since jan
I'm definately more confident and I know to be C&F and everything else ..WHY CAN'T I APPROACH?? and I know that's not the first time you guys have heard that
What can I do to kick myself in the a$$ to approach??, cause I'm sick and tired of pu$$ying out..
I hope you all can help

The first step is to remember that sick feeling you had when you walked away from this opportunity the next time you think about bailing on an approach.

It seems like you would have had a ton of stuff to talk about to this chick, (school, why was she in the room, what the test was like, etc...).

Approaches definitely get easier. It's like riding a bicycle.