Approach Question

[ebracer05]

This is probably a super super basic question. I've never been extremely extroverted unless I'm pumping my music at a show or something like that. And even then, it's a real stretch for me and something I'm not comfortable with. And I'd like to get this part of my life under control and become more extroverted.

I'm not one to just go up to strangers and talk to them without a purpose in mind... like asking for directions, or if we happen to be waiting for a class to start, or something like that.

So my question is, how are you supposed to cold approach women? What are you supposed to do, just walk up to them, say "hey" and make some sort of observation or comment? That's the impression I've been getting from the material I've been reading and watching... but I guess my question is, does it really work? It seems like women should be so conditioned by strangers approaching them they don't know, they automatically view any new man that approaches them as trying to pick them up. Maybe it's just because I've never done this before and don't understand it. So give me some material to work with tonight, and when I go back to the university tomorrow, I'll apply it and see for myself.

 

[n00bPimp]

Well it really depends. There are 2 types of approaches, direct and indirect. A direct approach lets the girl know you're interested in her right off the bat. For example, you see her, grab her, look into her eyes and say "hows it going?". This is my favorite way to pick up girls because it saves me a lot time. Direct approaches are best at night clubs and bars, in fact I would never do it outside a club, unless i tone it down a lot.

An indirect approach is beating around the bushes. You approach her by asking a question, or ask her opinion, or for directions, then you transition into a conversation with either a story relating to the question or by mentioning something interesting about her or the environment. For example you approach her and say "Excuse me do you know where X place is?" She answers, then you transition with "OK thanks, by the way i like your shirt/ accent/etc. Its very X..." Then you lead the convo into creating attraction (This is the part you must do research on) Indirect is the best way to approach girls during daytime activities.

 

[ebracer05]

Yea, I'm aware of the direct/indirect game. And I don't really think grabbing a girl at the university library and asking her how she's doing is very appropriate to the setting... I've always thought the indirect game was a contradiction of a lot of the other pua values though... like, if a DJ is interested in a girl, why should he have to pretend like he's not? It seems like just being direct and upfront about what your doing shows you've got enough balls to approach the girl confidently and directly that it should immediately give you value. That is, if you're doing it from the right frame.

I mean, anybody can go up and drum up a fake convo with a girl just because they think she's cute and want her number, but they're ultimately acting from an ulterior motive. There's nothing special about that. People do it all the time. So if you're gonna go direct somewhere like on campus, at the library, or elsewhere, what's a good way to do it? I know there's debate about whether a guy should give a girl a compliment or not so what do you say?

something like (from a frame of total confidence, like you already know the outcome will be positive and everything else is irrelevant) "hey, I noticed you and think you might be someone I'd like to know. I'm busy now, but let's get together sometime later at the union and get to know each other".

Dude, i don't know. What are you supposed to say?

 

[r0cky]

Direct approaches are a lot harder than indirect. So I suggest you start with indirect otherwise you'll give up very quickly.
"You know, you seem like an interesting person. Whats your name?" Then take it from there. Thats a direct opener.