Approach Anxiety? Try having a gun in your face.

[Naughty Ninja]

Alot of times I read about guys on this site having "approach anxiety" and are afraid to make a move. I realize that we all need tips and it's normal to be nervous when trying to meet a woman or women we find attractive.


But....There are things more anxiety inducing than approaching women. If you have survived them and look back at those times, trials, and tribulations. They may help you overcome your "fear" of talking to random strangers.


For instance. Ever been held hostage? I have. Ever had guns pointed in your face more than once? I have. Three seperate times. Twice in the Bronx and once in Manhattan. (The hostage situation was surreal actually being the one talking to your captives. ALL time stops. Your senses become totally focused.) I probably should've been more afraid than I was. But it was a bad year. My friend had gotten stabbed to death and I was in no mood to deal with the situation at the time. BUT I got OUT of it ALIVE!

Now who's afraid of approaching a random woman? You WILL get out of it alive. Win or lose. Rejected or accepted.

 

[Zodiac]

Good advice. Everytime I get nervous about talking to a girl and begin to start doubting myself I think back to my Sophomore year of college when a guy at a Frat party tried to murder a friend of mine in front of me. Watching someone get chased through a Frat house by a guy with a chainsaw is some scary ass ****. I then think I'm alive and girls are nothing compared to THAT.

 

[Oxide]

You need to change where you hang out.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

The first time I was working, couldn't help that.

Second time I was at the San Genero Festival in Manhattan, and stuck in a car when my sisters moronic ex started something with kids on the street and we were in traffic.

Third time at a funeral procession where someone was robbing a bank and came straight at us.

And actually fourth time in a bank.

Thank God we moved out of the city a loooong time ago!

 

[SeymourCake]

Having a gun to my head while approaching a girl?! That would make me nervous than a mother****er.

I see women as humans, just like me. That being said, I approach them. People act like their lions and ****.

 

[Falcon25]

Approaching a girl is different kind of fear. Some explain the fear as far worse than a fear of death. Some men hate the rejection of fear so much but partake in death defying stunts that you think "if you can do that stunt, you can do anything". But those guys will tell you that it has nothing to do with that. This post is misleading. It has nothing to do with anxiety from an opposite sex.

 

[Crow]

For instance. Ever been held hostage? I have. Ever had guns pointed in your face more than once? I have. Three seperate times. Twice in the Bronx and once in Manhattan. (The hostage situation was surreal actually being the one talking to your captives. ALL time stops. Your senses become totally focused.)

How much time did you end up doing for taking people into captivity TROLL?

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Not trolling. Real life. And I wasn't at any of these times approaching a girl and having a gun to my head. the time at my old job it was directly at my head. Then front right side. Felt it get real hot. Probably endorphins kicking in preparing myself to get shot. I didn't though. I'm saying people put so much fear into talking to a woman...there are far more things I'm sure ALL of us have probably experienced then talking to a woman. Skydiving? Buying their first home? Car? Death of a friend? Etc. So think of them and you shouldn't be so worried as long as you follow the good advice from long time posters.

 

[Zodiac]

People won't get it unless they have it happen to them. It is easier to me to talk to girls at least after my brush with death and I am stronger for it. Has anyone that has said this advice sucks been in a near death moment?

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Not trolling. Real life.

Yeah, but he asked you how much time you did for taking folks hostage. You didn't answer...

 

[Warrior74]

Yeah, but he asked you how much time you did for taking folks hostage. You didn't answer...

What? Do you people even read these post before you reply? Captives = captors, do you not know how to spot typos?

Anyway..having been robbed at gun point several times and in a near shoot out early last year I can tell you, approaching a woman has nothing on that. I get it. Good post.

 

[Oxide]

I am sorry I think you guys are just trying to show off. I know what it feels like to be in the extreme situation with your adrenaline going, and I know the absolute calm after, where nothing really matters in the big picture.

It's like if you go do exciting things, picking up women seems easy and just an extension of normal things, as if she SHOULD want you.

The thing is it goes away unless you put yourself in these situations daily. And while I understand that you might be recommending to recall that you had these moments to not have approach anxiety, my question then isn't it easier to just remember you have slept with multiple other girls before who liked you?!

 

[Warrior74]

my question then isn't it easier to just remember you have slept with multiple other girls before who liked you?!

Sure. That's valid. The point most of these guys missed was; It's not that serious, its just talking to a girl. It's not life or death. It should be fun.

 

[goodfoot]

I also think a gun in your face would help with approach anxiety.

 

[Oxide]

I think my success rate would skyrocket if I pointed a gun to their face. I bet I could F close consistently.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

So what are you waiting for Oxide? Pull your trigger! lol. (Oh and for the rest I meant talking to my captors.

 

[lorekeeper]

I was once closing up one of my stores, my dad, a friend and I when a thugish character came in and over 5 min started getting more and mire aggresive. I eventually said "screw this " and started pushing him out. I was 5'11" 245 he musta been 6'1" 220-230. He stopped and bent down and my dad said "lore, bACK!" I just stepped back looking at my dad. When I looked back, the guy had picked up an axe and was swinging it toward me.

It missed me by like 3-4 feet but still! The bastardswung a freaking axe at me!! It ended up bring him chasing us for about 5-10 min screaming how he's gonna kill us n all. It was like standing in the road and watching a car barrel down on you.

What did I get when it was all over? A thankfulness to be alive. I approched a potentiL, got shot down royally, packed up and left the city for 3. Months. Stopped having that thankfullness and just felt sorry for myself. Wish I had held onto that feeling of invincibility.

 

[Just a Shot Away]

What? Do you people even read these post before you reply? Captives = captors, do you not know how to spot typos?

Anyway..having been robbed at gun point several times and in a near shoot out early last year I can tell you, approaching a woman has nothing on that. I get it. Good post.

Yes. Yes, I do. That's how I knew that Ninja didn't answer the guy's question. And yes, I do know how to spot typos. Typing "captives" instead of "captors" isn't a typo, though. Typing "catpives" instead of "captives" would be a typo. He's since corrected himself though, so everybody's happy.

Gun in the face vs. hot girl in the room is a totally different kind of fear. Both invoke the so-called fight or flight response, but you're going to react in totally different ways. This comparison is like saying since some dumb broad veered into my lane today with no turn signal and ran me off the road, I can now start a conversation with the hottie in my bio class since getting into a car accident would leave me worse off than being publicly humiliated. It's just not the same.