Anyone advice me

[Thinking101]

Hi public,

I'm a 20 year old girl and I don't know if I'm about to make the worst decision of my life. I'm still a virgin because I believe sex goes hand in hand with love. Recently, I've met an amazing guy who is 23 and he's everything I've every wanted. I've gotten different kinds of attention in my lifetime, gone through some heart breaks but I've never felt this way about anyone.

We met at his family restaurant. On the night we met, I met his family too, his mum is such so adorable. What happened was his mum pushed him to take my order eventhough he wasn't even a waiter. He was focusing his attention on me even though my friends were ordering too. After we ordered and the food came he kept sending me drinks and my friends told me to go over and ask if I was paying for it. I did and he said it was on the house, just for me. He was so well spoken and just like a real gentleman. Like a real, good man; I hadn't come across one so young before. We texted for about 2 months, I was cautious, I calculated my every move, so I turned him down each time he asked to see me. I thought it was too soon and that I'd ruin it all.

Here's where it gets interesting and I need solid advice and I cannot bring myself round to tell any of my friends.

He asked me out and made it clear after he was only available on Sunday and that he works at the restaurant everyday but will take off Sunday's to spend with me. He starts work at 11am and finishes at 1am. We would facetime throughout his shifts and be constantly texting so it weren't so bad. He was so respectful and well mannered that he didn't initiated anything sexual with me but I knew he was attracted to me because he was tell me, so upfront and sincerely.

I couldn't make Sunday so a week passed and I agreed to see him after work, remember he finishes at 1am. He met me near my house and we literally spent the night talking and getting comfortable with each other. I had gotten to know so much about, his childhood, like, dislike literally you name it. Honestly was something out of a movie, almost too good to be true.

We saw each other for the next few nights and things started moving fast. We got intimate and he is aware that I didn't want to have sex with him just yet and he respect it. Often told me how much he adored me for holding off for so long. He said he was satisfied with me because he found me interesting and wanted to be around me more.

The most we had done was him going down on me. He pleasuring me made him feel satisfied. A few nights later he used his fingers on me after I specifically said no. It was painful I didn't know why he couldn't fit his finger inside, I was aroused but anyway he got angry and said I wasn't normal, that I've completely closed up. That same night he booked a hotel, I guess he didn't want to be so close to me in his car. After getting in bed, we got to talking but didn't speak of what happened. He accidentally said he loved me but took it back after I said sorry, pardon. He changed it to I like you a lot. He held me until I fell asleep because I felt so agitated and weird.

The next morning he drove me home and wasn't as chatty as before. Everything felt different. He stopped texting me as much and started to not call as much. So I confronted him and he said he was frustrated because he wanted sex. I told him to move on and find someone else who could give him what he wants. Sex is really important to him and now 3 months have passed and I can't stop thinking about him. I miss him so much. I think I fell for him in that short time.

What should I do? Should I rekindle my relationship with him or should I just cut my losses and move on ? If go back to him, he would take me but the only thing is he wants to have sex and I'm not ready. He said he is so attracted to me and wants us to become closer and more intimate and it wouldn't happen without sex.

 

[sazc]

Lol, wrong forum sweetie!!!
You have to decide how you feel and what you want, then do that.
There are rally no mistakes in life, just lessons.

Good luck!

 

[Atom Smasher]

If you're not ready, you're not ready. Trust that instinct. It would be a serious mistake.

You're smitten by him because he just happens to have many qualities that you admire and you think he's the only one with those qualities. That's completely incorrect... it only feels or seems that way.

When you have sex, a spiritual transaction occurs. Most men here will not tell you that, in fact most don't even know it. Once you split up, you will feel devastated, far worse than you feel now, because you will have absorbed his spirit.

Wait until you are ready and until you are sure. I highly recommend you cut your losses and realize that the right man will come along at the right time.

 

[sazc]

If you're not ready, you're not ready. Trust that instinct. It would be a serious mistake.

You're smitten by him because he just happens to have many qualities that you admire and you think he's the only one with those qualities. That's completely incorrect... it only feels or seems that way.

When you have sex, a spiritual transaction occurs. Most men here will not tell you that, in fact most don't even know it. Once you split up, you will feel devastated, far worse than you feel now, because you will have absorbed his spirit.

Wait until you are ready and until you are sure. I highly recommend you cut your losses and realize that the right man will come along at the right time.

Lol, who are you and where did you cone from? Are you batman?

 

[Desdinova]

I'll get to explaining what's going on in a moment. The first thing I'm going to do is look at the highlights; The things that most guys won't notice about this experience...

I'm a 20 year old girl and I don't know if I'm about to make the worst decision of my life. I'm still a virgin

Recently, I've met an amazing guy who is 23 and he's everything I've every wanted.

I've never felt this way about anyone.

He was so well spoken and just like a real gentleman. Like a real, good man;

I knew he was attracted to me because he was tell me, so upfront and sincerely.

We got intimate and he is aware that I didn't want to have sex with him just yet and he respect it.

A few nights later he used his fingers on me after I specifically said no. It was painful I didn't know why he couldn't fit his finger inside

he got angry and said I wasn't normal,

He accidentally said he loved me but took it back after I said sorry, pardon. He changed it to I like you a lot. He held me until I fell asleep because I felt so agitated and weird.

This is why I push for men looking for a relationship to pursue women who are age 18-23. This girl has all the right ingredients to stick to a man. She is a virgin, she's 20 years old, and her experience with men is very low.

The guy in question is obviously a beta male who is desperate to get laid. The OP doesn't know this though because she has absolutely no perception of what an alpha or a beta is. All that matters right now is that there's a man who's paying attention to her.

Since this is a beta male, most women with even a little bit of dating experience are NOT going to give him the time of day. However, the OP cannot stop thinking about him. The main things that are going on here are:

- She's very inexperienced and thus easily impressionable.
- He caused her a great deal of emotional fluctuation

Because she's so inexperienced, it's easy for a man to get to the top of her High Score List. This guy did a great job getting there even if he's a desperate beta male. The emotional fluctuation helped shoot him (albeit very easily) to the top, and now her mind is focused on him.

And now, here's my advice to you @Thinking101 ....

This is NOT the right man for you. All he wanted was to get into your vagina. Beta males focus on sex as a #1 priority, and he likely thought you were going to be easy because you were untainted by other men. When you didn't give it up, he got mad because he thought it was a sure thing.

ALL men prize an untainted vagina. Beta males prize it because they've been led to believe taking a woman's virginity is like a medal of honour. The men on this forum prize an untainted vagina because that means the woman has a much greater chance of being loyal as opposed to a woman who's had many rides on the c0ck carousel.

Now here the good news for you @Thinking101:

Because you didn't stay with this guy and didn't fvck him, you will be able to get over him and have a different guy climb up your High Score List. The man who takes your virginity will end up being much more valuable. The guy after that might be even more valuable. Nobody can say, but you've still got a few chances to meet a really great man.

Now here's the bad news... You don't have many chances to find a man who makes a valuable impression upon you. If by some chance you end up sleeping with 5 or more guys, you'll end up losing out on your chance of finding the man that you will treasure for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, I cannot give you the definitive path for finding a good man in the short amount of chances you have to find him. You might be better off finding a guy who's at least 10 years older than yourself and isn't so desperate because he's already experienced a decent amount of sexual bliss, but age is still no guarantee. All I can tell you is you should avoid men who have more mood swings than a pregnant woman going through menopause. Men like that will only bring you a great deal of disappointment. Find yourself a man who's confident and in control of his feelings, unlike the horny little wanker you currently cannot stop thinking about.

There are a lot of fantastic men out there, and this forum proves that they exist. The trouble is finding one because they're a bit on the rare side. Regardless, I wish you well in your journey to find "that one guy".

 

[Fruitbat]

I'll get to explaining what's going on in a moment. The first thing I'm going to do is look at the highlights; The things that most guys won't notice about this experience...











This is why I push for men looking for a relationship to pursue women who are age 18-23. This girl has all the right ingredients to stick to a man. She is a virgin, she's 20 years old, and her experience with men is very low.

The guy in question is obviously a beta male who is desperate to get laid. The OP doesn't know this though because she has absolutely no perception of what an alpha or a beta is. All that matters right now is that there's a man who's paying attention to her.

Since this is a beta male, most women with even a little bit of dating experience are NOT going to give him the time of day. However, the OP cannot stop thinking about him. The main things that are going on here are:

- She's very inexperienced and thus easily impressionable.
- He caused her a great deal of emotional fluctuation

Because she's so inexperienced, it's easy for a man to get to the top of her High Score List. This guy did a great job getting there even if he's a desperate beta male. The emotional fluctuation helped shoot him (albeit very easily) to the top, and now her mind is focused on him.

And now, here's my advice to you @Thinking101 ....

This is NOT the right man for you. All he wanted was to get into your vagina. Beta males focus on sex as a #1 priority, and he likely thought you were going to be easy because you were untainted by other men. When you didn't give it up, he got mad because he thought it was a sure thing.

ALL men prize an untainted vagina. Beta males prize it because they've been led to believe taking a woman's virginity is like a medal of honour. The men on this forum prize an untainted vagina because that means the woman has a much greater chance of being loyal as opposed to a woman who's had many rides on the c0ck carousel.

Now here the good news for you @Thinking101:

Because you didn't stay with this guy and didn't fvck him, you will be able to get over him and have a different guy climb up your High Score List. The man who takes your virginity will end up being much more valuable. The guy after that might be even more valuable. Nobody can say, but you've still got a few chances to meet a really great man.

Now here's the bad news... You don't have many chances to find a man who makes a valuable impression upon you. If by some chance you end up sleeping with 5 or more guys, you'll end up losing out on your chance of finding the man that you will treasure for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, I cannot give you the definitive path for finding a good man in the short amount of chances you have to find him. You might be better off finding a guy who's at least 10 years older than yourself and isn't so desperate because he's already experienced a decent amount of sexual bliss, but age is still no guarantee. All I can tell you is you should avoid men who have more mood swings than a pregnant woman going through menopause. Men like that will only bring you a great deal of disappointment. Find yourself a man who's confident and in control of his feelings, unlike the horny little wanker you currently cannot stop thinking about.

There are a lot of fantastic men out there, and this forum proves that they exist. The trouble is finding one because they're a bit on the rare side. Regardless, I wish you well in your journey to find "that one guy".

Beta makes focus on sex as #1 priority"

Interesting. Much of what I have heard is contrary. I though betas hang around and don't ask for what they want where as alphas go get it.

I am not entirely sold on alpha beta etc. I think women tend to go for looks and money which have little to do with alpha and beta. mainly looks are the main determinatior. I have never seen what would be considered a conventionally good looking man without tons of women. Most women are superficial, read bull**** celebrity magazines and want to have a wedding with a Ken doll. The very hot women can have this AND an alpha. Others will settle for a follower who looks the part.

I am starting to believe that social rank "alpha - ness" is primarily appearance driven.

As an example, I have observed that women tend to agree with the most socially conventional male (they seem to care more about who is forming the opinions rather than the actual opinion and will go along with the man they "fancy"). The ascribe qualities to the boy bands they loved as teenagers (again, this is looks based but they are ascribed leadership qualities or rank purely on image)

I have noted as a goofy dude that more conventionally attractive men tend to be allowed leadership, people find it hard to be grouped in with ugly people. People want to be in the "good genes" group.

Thus, the philosophy that women like bad boys. They don't, bad boys are bad because they've never had to do
Otherwise. Their social rank is made de facto by their genetics and they do not need any social skills to get pvssy. So they become spoiled and rude and in spite of this, are still sought for sperm.

It's like how rich folks don't have to give a fvck so much. If you're paychecj to paycheck then you have to be nice to your boss and co workers.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Beta makes focus on sex as #1 priority"

Interesting. Much of what I have heard is contrary. I though betas hang around and don't ask for what they want where as alphas go get it.

I am not entirely sold on alpha beta etc. I think women tend to go for looks and money which have little to do with alpha and beta. mainly looks are the main determinatior. I have never seen what would be considered a conventionally good looking man without tons of women. Most women are superficial, read bull**** celebrity magazines and want to have a wedding with a Ken doll. The very hot women can have this AND an alpha. Others will settle for a follower who looks the part.

"settle" for a follower who "looks the part". Have you ever thought some of them would PREFER a follower, one that they could be physically attracted to. These women don't need or want to be told what to do or lead. They want to lead.

I am starting to believe that social rank "alpha - ness" is primarily appearance driven.

As an example, I have observed that women tend to agree with the most socially conventional male (they seem to care more about who is forming the opinions rather than the actual opinion and will go along with the man they "fancy"). The ascribe qualities to the boy bands they loved as teenagers (again, this is looks based but they are ascribed leadership qualities or rank purely on image)

They are group thinkers, so the guy all of the other want they will "want". Take the same guy, and for some popularity reason now they don't want him, none of them will want him.

I have noted as a goofy dude that more conventionally attractive men tend to be allowed leadership, people find it hard to be grouped in with ugly people. People want to be in the "good genes" group.

Thus, the philosophy that women like bad boys. They don't, bad boys are bad because they've never had to do
Otherwise. Their social rank is made de facto by their genetics and they do not need any social skills to get pvssy. So they become spoiled and rude and in spite of this, are still sought for sperm.

It's like how rich folks don't have to give a fvck so much. If you're paychecj to paycheck then you have to be nice to your boss and co workers.

No, they do have social skills. Just a different set, because they are allowed to get away with so much foolishness.

 

[Fruitbat]

"settle" for a follower who "looks the part". Have you ever thought some of them would PREFER a follower, one that they could be physically attracted to. These women don't need or want to be told what to do or lead. They want to lead.



They are group thinkers, so the guy all of the other want they will "want". Take the same guy, and for some popularity reason now they don't want him, none of them will want him.



No, they do have social skills. Just a different set, because they are allowed to get away with so much foolishness.

So we pretty much agree that genetics are the primary factor in deciding who is considered or who has a good chance of being Alpha?

Alpha is as much an expression of the privileges assigned to those with the possession of good genetics?

Hence if one does not own excellent genetics, for example, unsymmetrical face, poorer jaw and weaker, then one is very unlikely to ever become alpha. Alphas are born, not made and is relative to the group - eg the least dorky of the nerd group is king.

 

[dude99]

Hi public,

I'm a 20 year old girl and I don't know if I'm about to make the worst decision of my life. I'm still a virgin because I believe sex goes hand in hand with love. Recently, I've met an amazing guy who is 23 and he's everything I've every wanted. I've gotten different kinds of attention in my lifetime, gone through some heart breaks but I've never felt this way about anyone.

We met at his family restaurant. On the night we met, I met his family too, his mum is such so adorable. What happened was his mum pushed him to take my order eventhough he wasn't even a waiter. He was focusing his attention on me even though my friends were ordering too. After we ordered and the food came he kept sending me drinks and my friends told me to go over and ask if I was paying for it. I did and he said it was on the house, just for me. He was so well spoken and just like a real gentleman. Like a real, good man; I hadn't come across one so young before. We texted for about 2 months, I was cautious, I calculated my every move, so I turned him down each time he asked to see me. I thought it was too soon and that I'd ruin it all.

Here's where it gets interesting and I need solid advice and I cannot bring myself round to tell any of my friends.

He asked me out and made it clear after he was only available on Sunday and that he works at the restaurant everyday but will take off Sunday's to spend with me. He starts work at 11am and finishes at 1am. We would facetime throughout his shifts and be constantly texting so it weren't so bad. He was so respectful and well mannered that he didn't initiated anything sexual with me but I knew he was attracted to me because he was tell me, so upfront and sincerely.

I couldn't make Sunday so a week passed and I agreed to see him after work, remember he finishes at 1am. He met me near my house and we literally spent the night talking and getting comfortable with each other. I had gotten to know so much about, his childhood, like, dislike literally you name it. Honestly was something out of a movie, almost too good to be true.

We saw each other for the next few nights and things started moving fast. We got intimate and he is aware that I didn't want to have sex with him just yet and he respect it. Often told me how much he adored me for holding off for so long. He said he was satisfied with me because he found me interesting and wanted to be around me more.

The most we had done was him going down on me. He pleasuring me made him feel satisfied. A few nights later he used his fingers on me after I specifically said no. It was painful I didn't know why he couldn't fit his finger inside, I was aroused but anyway he got angry and said I wasn't normal, that I've completely closed up. That same night he booked a hotel, I guess he didn't want to be so close to me in his car. After getting in bed, we got to talking but didn't speak of what happened. He accidentally said he loved me but took it back after I said sorry, pardon. He changed it to I like you a lot. He held me until I fell asleep because I felt so agitated and weird.

The next morning he drove me home and wasn't as chatty as before. Everything felt different. He stopped texting me as much and started to not call as much. So I confronted him and he said he was frustrated because he wanted sex. I told him to move on and find someone else who could give him what he wants. Sex is really important to him and now 3 months have passed and I can't stop thinking about him. I miss him so much. I think I fell for him in that short time.

What should I do? Should I rekindle my relationship with him or should I just cut my losses and move on ? If go back to him, he would take me but the only thing is he wants to have sex and I'm not ready. He said he is so attracted to me and wants us to become closer and more intimate and it wouldn't happen without sex.

If its been 3 months of no contact on his part i hate to say it but he has moved on. He is probably dating other women.

Cut your losses and use this as a learning experience. Do what you are comfortable doing. He may have smitten you but take this, you are 20 years old. Your mind will change like the wind in the next 5 years. Don't take any relationship seriously because 2 months or 6 months from now this ex of yours , you will no longer be attached to him.

 

[Desdinova]

I though betas hang around and don't ask for what they want where as alphas go get it.

I'm not really much on the whole "beta" and "alpha" stereotypes either, but it's the only way I felt I could really get my point across. I've always seen the difference between "beta" and "alpha" as being where their priorities lay. The "beta" will do whatever he can to get pvssy whereas the "alpha" will do whatever benefits him. Women rarely benefit men, so an "alpha" wouldn't place his priorities on getting pvssy.

Do you have a better way to discern these two types of men? I'd love to hear it.

 

[Fruitbat]

Not really, there are far more than two types of men to make a society.

I prefer to use the personality spectrum given to us by psychiatry.

Some are on the sociopathic spectrum, some are on the narcicistic spectrum, others are more neurotic, others borderline etc.

A healthy narc streak or sociopathy is a damn good indicator of being what would be considered "alpha". Lack of empathy, Machiavellian, strong commitment to appearance, drive to dominate others or be in authority. I've heard a million lines of BS on what women want but in my experience, put a psychopath or a narcicist in with some women and he will walk out with one.

Generally, it seems that acts of kindness, caring, empathy, putting another person first are turn offs and lower value.

We have a real fashion for narcissism in both male and female forms. The media is chock full of portrayals of selfishness or power as the apex of human achievement.

This is not to say all women. Of course not, but I have one friend diagnosed NPD and another who is clearly very similar. Both are PrOLIFIC with women, literally 30+ a year. Always with someone new.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I'll get to explaining what's going on in a moment. The first thing I'm going to do is look at the highlights; The things that most guys won't notice about this experience....

I'm not saying I disagree with your assessment, but some things in OPs post make me throw up some question marks. I'll show you what I mean.

Hi public,

I'm a 20 year old girl and I don't know if I'm about to make the worst decision of my life. I'm still a virgin because I believe sex goes hand in hand with love. Recently, I've met an amazing guy who is 23 and he's everything I've every wanted. I've gotten different kinds of attention in my lifetime, gone through some heart breaks but I've never felt this way about anyone.

OP has established for us that this is not her first time dating someone or being in some type of relationship.

We met at his family restaurant. On the night we met, I met his family too, his mum is such so adorable. What happened was his mum pushed him to take my order eventhough he wasn't even a waiter. He was focusing his attention on me even though my friends were ordering too. After we ordered and the food came he kept sending me drinks and my friends told me to go over and ask if I was paying for it. I did and he said it was on the house, just for me. He was so well spoken and just like a real gentleman. Like a real, good man; I hadn't come across one so young before. We texted for about 2 months, I was cautious, I calculated my every move, so I turned him down each time he asked to see me. I thought it was too soon and that I'd ruin it all.

So, is OP saying she has dated older men before?

Here's where it gets interesting and I need solid advice and I cannot bring myself round to tell any of my friends.

He asked me out and made it clear after he was only available on Sunday and that he works at the restaurant everyday but will take off Sunday's to spend with me. He starts work at 11am and finishes at 1am. We would facetime throughout his shifts and be constantly texting so it weren't so bad. He was so respectful and well mannered that he didn't initiated anything sexual with me but I knew he was attracted to me because he was tell me, so upfront and sincerely.

Fair enough OP, however you as a woman instinctively know all guys are in it for the same thing. This isn't some grand revelation to you and you certainly didn't need him to tell you this either.

I couldn't make Sunday so a week passed and I agreed to see him after work, remember he finishes at 1am. He met me near my house and we literally spent the night talking and getting comfortable with each other. I had gotten to know so much about, his childhood, like, dislike literally you name it. Honestly was something out of a movie, almost too good to be true.

We saw each other for the next few nights and things started moving fast. We got intimate and he is aware that I didn't want to have sex with him just yet and he respect it. Often told me how much he adored me for holding off for so long. He said he was satisfied with me because he found me interesting and wanted to be around me more.

The most we had done was him going down on me. He pleasuring me made him feel satisfied. A few nights later he used his fingers on me after I specifically said no. It was painful I didn't know why he couldn't fit his finger inside, I was aroused but anyway he got angry and said I wasn't normal, that I've completely closed up. That same night he booked a hotel, I guess he didn't want to be so close to me in his car. After getting in bed, we got to talking but didn't speak of what happened. He accidentally said he loved me but took it back after I said sorry, pardon. He changed it to I like you a lot. He held me until I fell asleep because I felt so agitated and weird.

Ok, so you tell him you don't want to have sex just yet...fine, but you let him give you oral. Did you return the favor? You don't mention this, so I'm going to assume no. Pretty convenient for you that you get some pleasure and enjoyment out of this while it appears he gets blue balls.

The next morning he drove me home and wasn't as chatty as before. Everything felt different. He stopped texting me as much and started to not call as much. So I confronted him and he said he was frustrated because he wanted sex. I told him to move on and find someone else who could give him what he wants. Sex is really important to him and now 3 months have passed and I can't stop thinking about him. I miss him so much. I think I fell for him in that short time.

He communicated sex was important to him. You simply told him earlier you didn't want to have sex JUST YET. This leads him to believe sex will happen sometime shortly in the future, yet now you say no sex and tell him to move on.

What should I do? Should I rekindle my relationship with him or should I just cut my losses and move on ? If go back to him, he would take me but the only thing is he wants to have sex and I'm not ready. He said he is so attracted to me and wants us to become closer and more intimate and it wouldn't happen without sex.

So, my analysis of this is that while yes, OP is still naive with relationship things, this isn't her first rodeo either. I also get the subtle feeling that OP is instinctively attention wh*ring. She clearly posted she got something from this by him going down on her and I'm also willing to bet this happened more than once. The young man in this scenario does exhibit some beta qualities such as obviously displaying he's out for sex; he's also not rotating through women, and he lets slip the L word. Not all guys are natural alphas, however not all alphas give women oral either. Hell do a search on this very forum for discussions on that topic, so I'll give the guy some credit there.

My point is that I'm not ready to say this chick in the OP is someone who needs to be snatched up for wife material. I think she knows more than she's leading on, and I think she's also manipulating more than has been made out in this post. Whether or not she is a virgin has no bearing on my analysis here.

 

[BeExcellent]

I am squarely in the @Atom Smasher camp here. You only can give yourself in this way one time. You will never forget the experience, good, bad or indifferent. Do not allow pressure outside of your own readiness determine when you decide to give this gift. I teach my girls that the gift of their virginity is something precious and that they should only give it to a man they love, and a man who sees the value of chastity. Many men do not care about your chastity. A man who values you will not pressure you, rather you will either come to the decision organically or overtly.

If you come to it organically then your relationship will simply develop to a place where sexual expression is the next natural step.

If you come to it overtly then you and your partner will openly discuss values and when to have sex, and under what circumstances.

I know a deeply religious couple who were engaged for 2 years before marriage, and they made the decision to wait until the wedding night. They were BOTH virgins. Think about how they had 2 years to anticipate sexual union. They are very happily married now nearly 20 years. They are and remain completely pure for each other. This is so extremely rare in today's world that is an oddity, but it is out there.

Value yourself. What @Desdinova says is also true, and your situation is instructive to some of the men here. You'll get over this young man. There are men here and elsewhere who appreciate a woman like you. Many women are already approaching double digits at your age sadly, and with all the inherent risks, both physical and psychological that go with that risk.

 

[sazc]

I may be wrong, but my spidey sense is screaming OP is a troll.... idk...then again, I'm not the brightest bulb in the bocs

 

[Fruitbat]

I may be wrong, but my spidey sense is screaming OP is a troll.... idk...then again, I'm not the brightest bulb in the bocs

My money is on this being constructed to demonstrate "rape culture" by some half witted student.

Present a story where a woman has ****teased some guy and hope that someone says he's entitled to give pressure, he should expect sex etc.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I may be wrong, but my spidey sense is screaming OP is a troll.... idk...then again, I'm not the brightest bulb in the bocs

Yeah no follow-ups from OP at all. Troll or some college feminist student....well, both are the same thing really.

 

[Thinking101]

I'm not saying I disagree with your assessment, but some things in OPs post make me throw up some question marks. I'll show you what I mean.




So, my analysis of this is that while yes, OP is still naive with relationship things, this isn't her first rodeo either. I also get the subtle feeling that OP is instinctively attention wh*ring. She clearly posted she got something from this by him going down on her and I'm also willing to bet this happened more than once. The young man in this scenario does exhibit some beta qualities such as obviously displaying he's out for sex; he's also not rotating through women, and he lets slip the L word. Not all guys are natural alphas, however not all alphas give women oral either. Hell do a search on this very forum for discussions on that topic, so I'll give the guy some credit there.

My point is that I'm not ready to say this chick in the OP is someone who needs to be snatched up for wife material. I think she knows more than she's leading on, and I think she's also manipulating more than has been made out in this post. Whether or not she is a virgin has no bearing on my analysis here.

By previous heartbreaks I don't mean anything to this scale. I'm referring to my ex of a year he was my first heartbreak I met him in school, we were friends more than anything and I wasn't what he was looking for at the time. Hence why I felt so betrayed. He stole my first kiss, and I honestly believed at the time I had strong feelings for him somewhat confused with "love". I was 18 and I stayed clear of all male attention although I wasn't fond of disrespect, major put off.

I've never cried over a guy to this extent and I've never ached just to know someone. I miss him so much it's all I think about. I'm completely comfortable with myself and far from needy, he pursued me and I just really look an interest into the person he was. I mean if I started to pick at everything physically, I'm quite tall and skinny, he was just about an inch shorter than me, he wasn't my "ideal" fantasy guy. He would stutter and has the most adorable lisp. He said he was nervous around me that's why it kept happening a lot around me. I found it so cute.

He was literally everything I adored in a man, he was respectful and such a kind soul, like not only towards me towards everyone. That's what made me fall for him so quick. We spoke about the future and he told me he wanted to marry me and share my life with him. I know you might think too soon and I should have known "all guys want sex" business but he seemed different. Like honestly the way he considered me in decisions just shows how genuine he was. He wanted to settle down after I finish uni and he owned the restaurant. We both wanted to buy a house together. I mean at first he said he was going to buy it but I didn't see that as fair, seeing as I want to be a working woman and I value having a career, wouldn't be right.

He was ok with my views on sex and he told me he respected that, he was honest I had no reason to doubt him. At first we made out, he started getting touchy and I stopped and made it clear I wasn't ready and it didn't feel right at all. He didn't react out of character because he asked me well before if I was a virgin and I said I am, and I want to wait until I fell in love. He said he liked my approach and didn't mention it. After a few times of seeing each other, we spoke about the whole sex thing and he didn't not once mention it was important to him, in fact he referred to me as his girlfriend and I'm not going to lie it was the best feeling ever. When I got comfortable with him, he kept asking and asking and asking just to try and get a little closer and how it would make him happy and by him satisfying me he would also become satisfied. He did ask if I could return the favour but I wasn't comfortable with it, I only allowed him to compromise and make him happy. He was fine with it, I didn't touch him either he didn't initiate that either. He only went down on me the once and that's when he tried to put his finger inside.

He asked if he could and I said no, but he did anyway, he got angry and this is when I realised I wasn't making him happy. Even though we didn't speak of what had happened that night after getting to the hotel, I felt so horrible inside, like I couldn't help him. I wasn't ready for sex and if being with me was causing such distress I thought it would be best if he found someone else. This is when I realised sex was important to him and I was causing him to be unhappy, it felt wrong so I let him go. Trouble is I miss him so much, and I don't think I'll ever meet anyone I have a connection with like that again. Which is what brought me to this forum, I thought I'd seek advice because I'm meant to be "getting over him" and I think I've exhausted this situation with my friends.

They say he was just chasing my pants and when he didn't get it he left, he known what he was getting into because I didn't hide it and it was clear. He was honest with how he felt, but I'm struggling to see it like that I honestly think I love him but I can't handle making him go through that again. Do you think this will ever get better, like I cry each time I remember him. I'm scared I

 

[Thinking101]

My money is on this being constructed to demonstrate "rape culture" by some half witted student.

Present a story where a woman has ****teased some guy and hope that someone says he's entitled to give pressure, he should expect sex etc.

LOOOL I wish my life was that interesting, I didn't think I was entitled he kept asking and I said yes. I know I shouldn't have, he told me we didn't have to have sex

 

[Thinking101]

Yeah no follow-ups from OP at all. Troll or some college feminist student....well, both are the same thing really.

I'm a uni student, I was trying to get an outside perspective. I'm faced with a sticky situation I can't get over. Reading similar posts from other people made me want some advice too

 

[Thinking101]

something isnt right about this guy. Yeah you are manipulative and havent really treated him well at all(did you even go down on him?) but he's acting odd.

No he wanted to go down on me, I didn't manipulate him at all. What made you come to that conclusion ? I don't see it like that, I've never allowed anyone to go anywhere near my privates but I felt so deeply about him and he wanted to and I was convinced it would make him happy.