Any ideas?(cant understand woman's modus operandi)

[longtail]

So I meet this woman, (early 30s) in 2016 at a party. We go on a date,all good, we have sex (twice). After that I invited her to go out -she said she was busy without giving me any alternatives to meet.I try again-same story and I peel off.

Fast forward one year later. I contact her we start chatting,she invites me to meet with her and stay at hers (quite directly). We sleep together. I work not far from her job,one week later ask her if she wants to catch up to have a lunch together. She coldly replies that she cant, I can almost feel "leave me alone" in her messages.No alternatives to meet offered and I peel off once more.

Finally, last month.I contact her again,we have a good chat, she is enthusiastic to meet.We meet and sleep together. One week later I get booty called,same (she comes back home from a work party). One week after that I contact her asking if she wants to meet-she coldly replies she is busy on the proposed day (without giving me alternatives,as usual).My options are exhausted (I cant be begging her to meet,can I).So I have to peel off once more.

Now what a hell is going on? There are no traces of other men in her life (she is quite open about this stuff,although woman is a woman,god knows). She is into babies and feels like she is looking for a relationship (means nothing though).She is not attracted to me?Perhaps but her actions year to year defeat this explanation.

I am confused (and I am rarely confused when it comes to relationships).Any ideas?

This is a sh1t-tier troll thread. Obviously fake and everyone's falling for it.

 

[Roober]

Would be interesting to see you, @sazc and @BeExcellent do a thread on the positive reasons from the male perspective that are why women reject you for a relationship. One example, they know they can't control you, or you make them insecure bc too high SMV etc etc. I hear these from my lady friends often but I think most guys don't realize this stuff happens.

It's actually very simple. On a subconscious level, they have determined that you are not fit to procreate, and this could be due to any of the circumstances which women will list as reasons to reject a man. If a woman is able to have a child, she will have a psychological and biological urge to help him produce offspring.

When she says hes ugly, fat, or somethi g physically, she doesn't see his DNA capable of producing beautiful and/or healthy offspring.

When evaluating his personality, she is disqualifying him as a father figure.

It all ties around the kids. When women consistently want your baby, you are pressing all the right buttons. If it isnt on her mind, your nothing more than convenient.

 

[AJ84]

It's actually very simple. On a subconscious level, they have determined that you are not fit to procreate, and this could be due to any of the circumstances which women will list as reasons to reject a man. If a woman is able to have a child, she will have a psychological and biological urge to help him produce offspring.

When she says hes ugly, fat, or somethi g physically, she doesn't see his DNA capable of producing beautiful and/or healthy offspring.

When evaluating his personality, she is disqualifying him as a father figure.

It all ties around the kids. When women consistently want your baby, you are pressing all the right buttons. If it isnt on her mind, your nothing more than convenient.

You would think that that would be true but I have seen too many women settle for a guy just because he was agreeable to settling down and having children. Especially if she is in her 30s. And the fact is that in the US, Canada, and other westernized developed countries women are not having settling down and having children in their early twenties anymore. Many are putting it off for too long then scrambling. But I guess now some are freezing their eggs so pressure off I suppose.

Women on a mission to get married and have children, from what I have seen, set the bar lower and will pair up with a dude who doesn’t fit what she ideally wants but is willing to settle down and have kids.
Women who are in not looking to have kids, or who are but are younger, have some time, and have options will be much pickier, in my opinion and from what I have seen.

The more I think about it, the only women I know who are more selective (aside from young attractive women in their prime) tend to be women who make good money, own their own homes and either don’t want kids or already have them and don’t want anymore. Those women are not motivated by resources provision or a biological clock so they approach dating differently than women who are on a mission to marry and have children.

 

[BeExcellent]

the only women I know who are more selective (aside from young attractive women in their prime) tend to be women who make good money, own their own homes and either don’t want kids or already have them and don’t want anymore. Those women are not motivated by resources provision or a biological clock so they approach dating differently than women who are on a mission to marry and have children.

Bingo. I'm an example of this. My kids are growing up and I'm set up to have a nice life with or without a man. Fact is I adore men & think life is more interesting with a lover, friend & companion to enjoy it with.

Childbearing is done for me. Child rearing is winding down. Those constraints are gone.
I'm enjoying my current relationship & so is he. So we see where it goes and enjoy the experience.

 

[ubercat]

Yeah bro your in the casino. Spread your bets let it all ride on red. The result is often the same either way.

Just place a lot of small bets and let the randomness work for you.

 

[HankHill]

I got rejected by a 7yr my jr HB8 recently despite having a good long engaging conversation- at least to me it was lol. I bring a lot more to the table (success, money, where I am in life in general etc) and I'm always told I look better in person so it was none of those things. Here's what happened, she's very liberal (which is cool by me) and very proud of her feminazi views (not so cool by me). I jokingly told her we should change the topic because I'm pretty opinionated and my opinions are probably not kosher for a first date. She insisted that I share, so as I started talking about it and how I believe in the traditional gender roles etc. I could sense she was getting tense but at the same time was enjoying the back and forth because she probably rarely got challenged on her views. In the end though she probably realized the relationship will be full of disagreements and arm wrestling. She probably wants a man-child to whoop around to continue down the proud feminazi path. So I got the cheek at the end of the date. I agreed to ask her out for a second date against my better judgment (but some people here suggested I did). She responded with:

"Hi Hank, I don't think we have a dating chemistry, but it was nice meeting you. Happy dating "
To which I replied: "I think you're right, I agree. Wish you the best "

I contemplated replying "who said anything about dating. Booty call? lol"

Anyway, so there's another example of why you can get rejected...you don't represent their social agenda.

 

[marmel75]

IMO, as @BeExcellent said, most women don't think that deeply, they ride on their emotions.

Yea, I don't want to be that mean about man boobs. He was a nice enough guy, I just didn't feel like we had enough in common/connected on enough topics, to engage and develop intimacy. Plus the whole "you're the first chick I've met/chatted with off of online dating" I seem to hear that noise from 3 out of the 5 men I connect with.

From what I can tell, they use it as an excuse to not drive a conversation ("idk how this all works, I just signed up") (riiiight) or, as in the case with this guy, he miss stated my profession twice, correcting himself incorrectly after the first miss statement, and then tried to claim I was his first old chat/meet. I suspect that his experiences with OLD women had them accusing him if talking "to other women" while talking/dating them (jealous women) So, by telling me he was a newbie, he was hoping to avoid that topic.

He achieved alerting me to the fact that he was cool with lying. I don't like liars

You've brought up man boobs twice now. Suffice to say you were physically repulsed by this and no matter what else would have happened you likely would have found a reason to eject.

 

[sazc]

e

You've brought up man boobs twice now. Suffice to say you were physically repulsed by this and no matter what else would have happened you likely would have found a reason to eject.

There were plenty of reasons to reject

 

[marmel75]

e
There were plenty of reasons to reject

My point is even if there weren't it still would have happened. But nice attempted Ole...

Don't you have some compiler optimizations to get to??

 

[sazc]

My point is even if there weren't it still would have happened. But nice attempted Ole...

Don't you have some compiler optimizations to get to??

Pssht lookit you taking up for a complete stranger. You'd think your personal experience with mass rejection over the years had turned you all butthurt and bitter....

 

[marmel75]

Pssht lookit you taking up for a complete stranger. You'd think your personal experience with mass rejection over the years had turned you all butthurt and bitter....

It totally has! I've gone home and cried myself to sleep so many times...

Not taking up for anyone, just pointing out that the only real part that mattered was his physical appearance was not to your liking and all the rest of the stuff you mentioned is really just noise that didn't matter

 

[sazc]

It totally has! I've gone home and cried myself to sleep so many times...

Not taking up for anyone, just pointing out that the only real part that mattered was his physical appearance was not to your liking and all the rest of the stuff you mentioned is really just noise that didn't matter

You obviously didn't read what I remarked about him and the date. Again, just a bunch of projection, whether you want to admit it it not

 

[HankHill]

What's wrong with her rejecting based on the physical appearance though? Both genders do it frequently.

Compiler optimization? a bunch of fellow geeks in da house!

 

[Spaz]

I am sorry but this reply is absolute nonsense. You seemingly misplace the word "orbiter" and/or did not get the context of the situation.

This entire thread is abt you trying to reframe the entire situation to benefit ur needs.

It's clear that this is not the woman's issue.

The issue is clearly you.

Side note:

If you don't see yourself as an orbiter doing noob beta shiet then continue with the nonsense that's been ongoing since 2016.

However you must be more assertive.

You should also go to her office, right in front of all her colleagues, fall on your knees and declare your undying devotion.

She'll absolutely love it and be yours forever.

 

[AJ84]

My point is even if there weren't it still would have happened. But nice attempted Ole...

Don't you have some compiler optimizations to get to??

Sounds exactly like when men complain about women shaming them into not being attracted to fat chicks.

She’s not into the guy due to a variety of factors and he happens to have man boobs which may not tingle the lady bits. Looks do matter for the tingling of the lady bits lol.

Not sure why it’s still surprising that women place importance on looks on a site that promotes men getting into shape to increase their odds in the dating market.

 

[sazc]

What's wrong with her rejecting based on the physical appearance though? Both genders do it frequently.

Compiler optimization? a bunch of fellow geeks in da house!

Because he can empathize with the dudes situation so he's nailing me with it.

My dating situation mirrors what you guys are frustrated with. Pictures that are way old, filters being used, finances are sh1t, overweight, insecurity, anxiety, over texting, dysfunction, etc, etc, etc. Grass ain't no greener over here.

To be honest, I get solid looks when I go out but no one approaches. To be fair, 30% of those looks are from men who have significant others (I know this because, as I meet their gaze and hold it, she will walk up)

The other 70% who look, I try to hold gaze to make myself approachable. 50% of those obviously struggle with the possibility of mis reading the situation and the possibility of rejection.

If I am lucky, or can pull it off, I will strike up a conversation with 10% of them and I still see 8% cognitively struggle with "what is this conversation? Is it simply friendly, or is there a possibility here?"

2% will take the leap. Very unfortunately rare.

So OLD it is!

Moral of the story, set aside your fears (as I am trying to do) and take the cold approach leap. If she's randomly engaging you in conversation, chit chat and then ask for the coffee date.

OLD is a cesspool but we're all deciding to wade thru it as an option.

Let's make cold approach warm again!

 

[sazc]

What's wrong with her rejecting based on the physical appearance though? Both genders do it frequently.

Compiler optimization? a bunch of fellow geeks in da house!

And to the other mention - full stack web developer. Just learned the Vue family in a few months (loved it). Now on to non web but still Java development. Code on!

 

[Ranger]

@clusterfock

I read through this thread. Are you just curious about her on/off attitude with you? Or do you want her to have your babies? Or is it that you want her to fall head over heals for you to give you a boost?

If you actually want her, your not leading. You keep asking her to go out and she keeps rejecting. So stop doing that.

I don’t know how I feel about the “good enough to fvck but not good enough for a relationship” thingy. I mean, it sounds reasonable on the outside but it’s not a true picture of things. See, you would be creating that Sometimes being aloof is a byproduct of avoidance.
If you want for it to be whatever picture you have in your head. You have to do something different. You haven’t really connected with her.

The paranoid BPD guys on here, connect with women from the viewpoint of getting something from them. Validation, idealistic love, feeling together with a woman, teamwork etc. but it’s still about getting something from her. Then they get trapped because they put themselves out there using emotional states so she can read and connect but they really aren’t the man inside she needs him to be.

You can still emotionally connect with a woman but you have to be brave and have courage. You have to put something out there first but you can’t expect or do it to get something in return. This is the true definition of IDGAF. Not needing something from her. That doesn’t mean she’s a pile of garbage.

She isn’t emotionally connected because you want her to put herself out there and take all the risk. You have to lead. Expect nothing from her. Tell her about a time when you were a kid and you fukked up bad but it turned out to be a blessing. Let her take that in.

Connecting with a woman is not beta. Nor does it mean you want a relationship. But it can enrich your life. You may find that there’s absolutely nothing about her that you actually appreciate. Figure that.

You don’t ask a woman to go out with you. Especially after you’ve been intimate. So yes @Spaz is right. There’s a bit of orbiter in there. If you can see it, you can fix it. An orbiter is waiting for the woman to initiate a leadership act or communication so he can move forward on her. He wants something from her or out of her and to tell you the truth, that’s fukked up.

 

[Spaz]

@clusterfock

I read through this thread. Are you just curious about her on/off attitude with you? Or do you want her to have your babies? Or is it that you want her to fall head over heals for you to give you a boost?

If you actually want her, your not leading. You keep asking her to go out and she keeps rejecting. So stop doing that.

I don’t know how I feel about the “good enough to fvck but not good enough for a relationship” thingy. I mean, it sounds reasonable on the outside but it’s not a true picture of things. See, you would be creating that Sometimes being aloof is a byproduct of avoidance.
If you want for it to be whatever picture you have in your head. You have to do something different. You haven’t really connected with her.

The paranoid BPD guys on here, connect with women from the viewpoint of getting something from them. Validation, idealistic love, feeling together with a woman, teamwork etc. but it’s still about getting something from her. Then they get trapped because they put themselves out there using emotional states so she can read and connect but they really aren’t the man inside she needs him to be.

You can still emotionally connect with a woman but you have to be brave and have courage. You have to put something out there first but you can’t expect or do it to get something in return. This is the true definition of IDGAF. Not needing something from her. That doesn’t mean she’s a pile of garbage.

She isn’t emotionally connected because you want her to put herself out there and take all the risk. You have to lead. Expect nothing from her. Tell her about a time when you were a kid and you fukked up bad but it turned out to be a blessing. Let her take that in.

Connecting with a woman is not beta. Nor does it mean you want a relationship. But it can enrich your life. You may find that there’s absolutely nothing about her that you actually appreciate. Figure that.

You don’t ask a woman to go out with you. Especially after you’ve been intimate. So yes @Spaz is right. There’s a bit of orbiter in there. If you can see it, you can fix it. An orbiter is waiting for the woman to initiate a leadership act or communication so he can move forward on her. He wants something from her or out of her and to tell you the truth, that’s fukked up.

Well that's a gold post. Nicely said.

 

[Spaz]

Because he can empathize with the dudes situation so he's nailing me with it.

My dating situation mirrors what you guys are frustrated with. Pictures that are way old, filters being used, finances are sh1t, overweight, insecurity, anxiety, over texting, dysfunction, etc, etc, etc. Grass ain't no greener over here.

To be honest, I get solid looks when I go out but no one approaches. To be fair, 30% of those looks are from men who have significant others (I know this because, as I meet their gaze and hold it, she will walk up)

The other 70% who look, I try to hold gaze to make myself approachable. 50% of those obviously struggle with the possibility of mis reading the situation and the possibility of rejection.

If I am lucky, or can pull it off, I will strike up a conversation with 10% of them and I still see 8% cognitively struggle with "what is this conversation? Is it simply friendly, or is there a possibility here?"

2% will take the leap. Very unfortunately rare.

So OLD it is!

Moral of the story, set aside your fears (as I am trying to do) and take the cold approach leap. If she's randomly engaging you in conversation, chit chat and then ask for the coffee date.

OLD is a cesspool but we're all deciding to wade thru it as an option.

Let's make cold approach warm again!

I just couldn't resist this one @sazc lmao

Let's assist you, after all I'll be irresponsible to not offer some sound advice.

In view of the hardships u r facing both on OLD with the man boobs and from seducing men in cold approaches, I'll suggest the following;

Be open to dating men from SS.

Here's a list of suitable men of impeccable quality that you should consider;

1. @bigdave17
2. @LARaiders85
3. @Focal core

Let's talk abt the highlights of each man's personality and strengths.

Bigdave earns well, has plenty of friends, single, no kids, has a beautiful car and an awesome house. And he's looking for a sexy woman of your standing.

LA is an all around sensitive man who when given the chance will worship the ground you walk on. I'm certain of it. All you need to do is don't act as a mentally crazed woman.

Focal, he drools over Celine Dion songs, talks about love like there's no tomorrow, he'll be the perfect lover boy that every women dreams of having. If it's faith then it's love in the air.

SS works in mysterious ways, you'll never know if you never try.