This had been a recurring theme ... about the 8 billionth time I've come home from a club empty-handed. I'm not white and not real good looking (skinny + acne scars). I don't even know why I bother going ... well I do know, its because I don't see any attractive women during everyday life. Is this anyone else's experience?
Any chance at a club if you're not white and good-looking?
- Thread starter bobbob
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Mr. Mystery II
Senior Don Juan
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What the hell are you talking about?!?
In my clubbing experience, white guys seem to do the worst, but it depends on what club you go to and what night.
Making excuses isn't gonna make things easy for you. Stop looking for reasons outside of yourself for your failures. Sack up and face reality, your gonna have to work at this before its gonna get easier.
Mr. Mystery
In my clubbing experience, white guys seem to do the worst, but it depends on what club you go to and what night.
Making excuses isn't gonna make things easy for you. Stop looking for reasons outside of yourself for your failures. Sack up and face reality, your gonna have to work at this before its gonna get easier.
Mr. Mystery
So Many Ways
Master Don Juan
Maybe the environment you're going to isn't the best. Sometimes just by changing your environment you can get much more play. Go somewhere where the women are going to buy what you have to sell.
That's great vague advice, go where the women are buying what you're selling ...
I've just noticed this EVERYWHERE in this city. And in the U.S. in general. I'm not looking for excuses, I've hit on more girls and made more effort than 99% of guys will EVER do in their lifetime, and yet I've had very very minimal success.
What am I doing wrong? The fact that I'm not good looking? Well I can't control that. That I'm not white? Can't control that either.
I've just noticed this EVERYWHERE in this city. And in the U.S. in general. I'm not looking for excuses, I've hit on more girls and made more effort than 99% of guys will EVER do in their lifetime, and yet I've had very very minimal success.
What am I doing wrong? The fact that I'm not good looking? Well I can't control that. That I'm not white? Can't control that either.
If you believe that you are too thin and your acne scars detract from your appeal then start lifting weights and buy yourself some Pro Active Solution. Honestly though, it sounds like the real problem is a lack of confidence. Just go ahead and do those things to put your own mind at ease and make you feel better about yourself and I suspect you'll see your luck improve. If you go out thinking no one will find you attractive it turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=18040
read this and bulk up. No f_ucking excuses!
read this and bulk up. No f_ucking excuses!
Caldus
Senior Don Juan
You can approach all the women you want but you won't have success if you keep that attitude about it. Go out there with a new attitude (you know what attitude) and get results.
Prophett
Don Juan
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I'm sorry but this threa is dumb.
Proactiv doesn't do anything for scars. It doesn't even treat cystic acne (the kind that scars).
It has less to do with attitude than what some people on this board think - its a fairytale, some of you think you improve yourself a little, get a haircut, and wear some nicer clothes, and all of the sudden you'll be swimming in *****.
At a bar or club it's all appearance.
It has less to do with attitude than what some people on this board think - its a fairytale, some of you think you improve yourself a little, get a haircut, and wear some nicer clothes, and all of the sudden you'll be swimming in *****.
At a bar or club it's all appearance.
Have you tried it to know that it doesn't work? (Don't get all wound up...I'm just asking)
Listen...just based on how angry and negative you are coming across over the internet...I can't imagine that you are projecting a very positive attitude. I know that won't solve everything, but it's a start. Think about it...isn't having issues you can't control enough to deal with? Why would you want to compound that with he negativity too? You CAN control your attitude, so start there. You CAN change your body by working out. And there are some options for the skin issues...use the internet to seek out your options. No one else is going to do it for you. Take control of your life and your attitude and it will make you feel a hell of a lot better.
Yes I've tried Proactiv. Since I've been dealing with acne for the past 10 years or so, I've tried almost everything, including accutane (which is the strongest thing they can give you). The only thing I haven't tried is laser treatment - if my insurance will cover it, I'll try that too.
I've put on 50 pounds over the past 8 years, but I haven't put on any weight in about 4 years or so. And I've been working out for the past year, but have been slowed by a broken arm (had to stop working out for a few months, and still can't lift heavy with that arm).
So its not like I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs hoping things change ...
I've put on 50 pounds over the past 8 years, but I haven't put on any weight in about 4 years or so. And I've been working out for the past year, but have been slowed by a broken arm (had to stop working out for a few months, and still can't lift heavy with that arm).
So its not like I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs hoping things change ...
I-am-someone
Senior Don Juan
bobbob, let me share a secret with you.
Every single man on this planet can become attractive, through the means of his own attitude and confidence.
I'll tell you why and how this happens.
We, as humans, have an extremely advanced system for recognizing faces. The face is very important in creating attraction between two sexes, it is the first thing a human looks at to see a potential partner's genetic build. However, this perception of the genetic build, is also greatly influenced by the behaviour of the face. The way that the muscles in your face are, the way you smile, the way you talk, the way you look at people. These behavioural traits of the face, can quickly turn a genetically "ugly" face into a beautiful face. Just think of some real life examples, and you'll see I'm right. Just think of your friends and think of how you would look at them if they used different facial expressions. Facial expressions are just like body language, but have a much greater effect on the other person. Think of the difference in how attracted you feel to a woman that always looks unhappy and the way you feel about a woman that smiles all day long.
Now, here comes the really big part that you will have to realise: You cannot "change" your facial behaviours. This is technically impossible, and if attempted will only make other people percieve you as "fake". These minor but oh so important changes are generated by your attitude, your mood, your mental state of mind, by the things that keep your brain busy and the way that you feel.
So, knowing this, the most important thing for any man who has been put at a genetic disadvantage is to start working on his inner self and to start cultivating attractive emotions and attitudes such as hapiness, confidence, loving fun, active behaviour, sexuality, etc.
If you're going into a club with an attitude like: "I'm going to to convince these damn wh0res to **** me even though I'm not white!", it's not going to do you much good, as your face is screaming this negative attitude towards the ladies (and the guys as well) in the club.
If you enter the club saying "Let's have fun! I feel good tonight and I'm looking for a girl to have a fun time with!", your face will (only if this attitude truly comes from within!) show other people exactly that, and make people want to know you.
Ofcourse, you still need to work on your outer game as well, because that's eventually the deciding factor about whether or not she's going home with you.
Every single man on this planet can become attractive, through the means of his own attitude and confidence.
I'll tell you why and how this happens.
We, as humans, have an extremely advanced system for recognizing faces. The face is very important in creating attraction between two sexes, it is the first thing a human looks at to see a potential partner's genetic build. However, this perception of the genetic build, is also greatly influenced by the behaviour of the face. The way that the muscles in your face are, the way you smile, the way you talk, the way you look at people. These behavioural traits of the face, can quickly turn a genetically "ugly" face into a beautiful face. Just think of some real life examples, and you'll see I'm right. Just think of your friends and think of how you would look at them if they used different facial expressions. Facial expressions are just like body language, but have a much greater effect on the other person. Think of the difference in how attracted you feel to a woman that always looks unhappy and the way you feel about a woman that smiles all day long.
Now, here comes the really big part that you will have to realise: You cannot "change" your facial behaviours. This is technically impossible, and if attempted will only make other people percieve you as "fake". These minor but oh so important changes are generated by your attitude, your mood, your mental state of mind, by the things that keep your brain busy and the way that you feel.
So, knowing this, the most important thing for any man who has been put at a genetic disadvantage is to start working on his inner self and to start cultivating attractive emotions and attitudes such as hapiness, confidence, loving fun, active behaviour, sexuality, etc.
If you're going into a club with an attitude like: "I'm going to to convince these damn wh0res to **** me even though I'm not white!", it's not going to do you much good, as your face is screaming this negative attitude towards the ladies (and the guys as well) in the club.
If you enter the club saying "Let's have fun! I feel good tonight and I'm looking for a girl to have a fun time with!", your face will (only if this attitude truly comes from within!) show other people exactly that, and make people want to know you.
Ofcourse, you still need to work on your outer game as well, because that's eventually the deciding factor about whether or not she's going home with you.
I heard about something that is supposed to help some people with the redness and scarring from bad acne...but I can't remember what it's called. It's not accutane, though...or laser surgery. I'll see if I can find it again....found it online.
As for the lifting...yes, you can only do so much...but there are supplements you can take specifically for adding muscle mass. Make sure you tailor what you are doing to suit the results you want to get.
And again...you CAN control your attitude, although sometimes that is the hardest thing to change. Clubs can be tough even for the best looking of people, so keep that in mind. My suggestion would be to find a smaller club that is less of a "meat market". If you can sing, try doing the karaoke thing. I've seen lots of average looking guys who do the karaoke circuit have very pretty girls swooning over them. You just have to find your own little niche and make it work for you.
TheInfamousCBear
Master Don Juan
Lets keep it real, clubs are random as hell...Forget what people on here tell you, you always wont have a good night...Some nights you might get a number, some nights you cant even get a song and dance with a girl...Sometimes girls dont even dance, and full this sh1t about talking and running verbal game in a club, cause half the time I cant even see the girl cause its so dark and I can barely (sp) even hear myself think let alone hear the girl well enough to spit game like that...What people need to realize is that if you are going to a club to pick up girls, you are going for thr wrong reason, cause only like 1% of the girls are trying to hook up or fukk...And you might not even see these girls and you might not be attracted to each other...So just go to the club to have fun, if youre in a sh1tty mood, dont go, cause alot of girls arnt even trying to get picked up...
diablo
Master Don Juan
No, you have no chance of picking up a girl at a club if you aren't white and good-looking. 
Seriously, what's the deal with the race card? I've got one friend in particular who's black and knows virtually everybody in the city. We'll go out and there will be people coming up non-stop and saying hi. I don't think it's ever once crossed his mind that he couldn't get a girl just because he's black. I've noticed this isn't the only thread in which you've said that the main reason you can't get a girl is because you aren't white:
Seriously, what's the deal with the race card? I've got one friend in particular who's black and knows virtually everybody in the city. We'll go out and there will be people coming up non-stop and saying hi. I don't think it's ever once crossed his mind that he couldn't get a girl just because he's black. I've noticed this isn't the only thread in which you've said that the main reason you can't get a girl is because you aren't white:
I mean, I could post some pictures of this guy operating that would completely blow you away - white, asian, and black girls pretty much attacking him, anywhere from 1 to 3 at a time. I guess what I'm getting at is that no, what you're asking in your thread is completely false. My friend isn't white, he gets what he wants when he wants. I am white, but I'm not the most handsome person out there - however, I don't let it bother me and because of such I do very well for myself. I think what you're facing is a confidence issue, nothing more, nothing less.
sounds to me like you're letting your physcial appearance influence your inner game.
The first step is to forget about your insecurities and flaws, everyone has some flaws of their own.
Once you stop being so self conscious about your looks and more on your confidence, things will change for the best.
Before anyone takes physical beauty into account, THE FIRST THING they will notice is posture and how you hold yourself when you walk, especially your body language.
Sure you can be all cut with a good looking face, but who's gonna want to know you if you stand, walk and talk like a wuss?
Since in your situation you cant do much about lifting weights nor curing your scars, what you can do at best is to set your hair style to match your wardrobe.
if you choose to be ignorant and believe that by being white and good looking = success, then you are by far the wrongest person i know of.
The first step is to forget about your insecurities and flaws, everyone has some flaws of their own.
Once you stop being so self conscious about your looks and more on your confidence, things will change for the best.
Before anyone takes physical beauty into account, THE FIRST THING they will notice is posture and how you hold yourself when you walk, especially your body language.
Sure you can be all cut with a good looking face, but who's gonna want to know you if you stand, walk and talk like a wuss?
Since in your situation you cant do much about lifting weights nor curing your scars, what you can do at best is to set your hair style to match your wardrobe.
if you choose to be ignorant and believe that by being white and good looking = success, then you are by far the wrongest person i know of.
-HPNOTIQ-
Master Don Juan
bobbob...I've read many of your posts..and Each of them become more and more self-degrading and negative.
bud..you need to seek professional help.
In your threads, you keep asking for the same help, discussing the same problems, and nagging about the same things you dont have. -- Its like you're a male attention wh*re
bro..not trying to flame..but stop already...
you need pro help..go get it...
bud..you need to seek professional help.
In your threads, you keep asking for the same help, discussing the same problems, and nagging about the same things you dont have. -- Its like you're a male attention wh*re
bro..not trying to flame..but stop already...
you need pro help..go get it...
K B
Don Juan
IGNORANCE.
Bobbob is taking the easy way out by blaming "the white man."
It is just common sense. If I were a white guy, and was in a black neighborhood, do you think I would do well? The answer is NO.
It seems that if there is a problem, you know who to blame: The straight, white man.
Bobbob is taking the easy way out by blaming "the white man."
It is just common sense. If I were a white guy, and was in a black neighborhood, do you think I would do well? The answer is NO.
It seems that if there is a problem, you know who to blame: The straight, white man.