Any Advice?

[cruesoepolo]

My ex-girlfriend & I split up over a month ago.We were under a lot of stress from other things,& she finished with me because of it. Now everything's fine. The other day,we went out for a drink,& spoke for nearly 4 hours! She said she feels guilty for finishing,doesn't want2get back together,yet does want to spend time with me...and just see where the friendship goes...then she says maybe i can come over and we watch a dvd/have lunch etc on friday..i've said yes. The thing is, I want more from her,& am confused as I dont think she does from me, although she wasnt really clear! What do I do, do I still go,& is it worth me saying/trying anything? I feel like trying to kiss her or something! She says she doesnt want to lead me on!

Am I being taken for a ride, any advice in this situation?

 

[Lust]

My ex-girlfriend & I split up over a month ago.We were under a lot of stress from other things,& she finished with me because of it. Now everything's fine. The other day,we went out for a drink,& spoke for nearly 4 hours! She said she feels guilty for finishing,doesn't want2get back together,yet does want to spend time with me...and just see where the friendship goes...then she says maybe i can come over and we watch a dvd/have lunch etc on friday..i've said yes. The thing is, I want more from her,& am confused as I dont think she does from me, although she wasnt really clear! What do I do, do I still go,& is it worth me saying/trying anything? I feel like trying to kiss her or something! She says she doesnt want to lead me on!

Am I being taken for a ride, any advice in this situation?

Bible.

Go.

 

[Vypros]

If you want more from her, then by god DEMAND more from her. Don't let her call the shots, which is exactly what you are doing.

You tell her that you want "it all or nothing". You either are going to be together or not together at all. None of this "see how the friendship goes" crap.

Screw that, you're better than that!

Time to man up chief.

 

[WC2]

If you don't feel as if she wants the same from you as you do from her, or more, then look into other options. The only successful relationships I've been in were the ones in which the woman was more interested in our relationship's wellbeing than I was. Sometimes it's good to let her sweat, and take the heat from off your shoulders. If you're carrying the majority of the stress in the relationship because you're unsure of her feelings, then it's really not worth it.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Your first major mistake is letting this girl pull all the shots and make all the decisions. You should be leading her, not the other way round.

The stress excuse does not count i'm afraid.

Your paying her all this attention whenever she asks for it, and jumping when she wants to see you for a DVD. I'd be making myself less available ( I normally have a busy schedule anyway - dont you? )

My advice - DONT see her this friday, you need to take back control if you want her back. See her on your terms.

Say ' I had forgotten but I had already arranged x with y, but I was looking forward to coming over. I'l give you a bell to meet up when i'm next free'

This will confuse her - keep it short and sweet and dont be funny on the phone, act normal.

Maybe read the bible like someone says, this one is simple. In fact if it was me and she broke up and still wanted to be friends, i'd be calling a break on her and letting her know only when I was ready to see her again...

good luck..

 

[amethyst]

Alright,

**** I have been all over the forum today (nothing like procrastinating on my research methods paper to get the DJ flowing)...

Anyway, first of all due to emotional imbalance you have been put in the LJBF zone of doom... I am guessing you have been demonstrating AFC behaviour, if you want her back you are going to have to break out of the LJBF zone and that will be tough if you are gaming her exclusively.

Thus if you want to get her back go sargeing more often meet more people be more elusive... Because right now this girl is getting more supply of you than she is demanding, and it sounds to me that she might be thinking keeping you as an emotional tampon. So my advice to you is become more distant, become more active, work on your game and go have fun with other girls.

doing this will get her back, weather you take her back after that... well that depends how charitable you feel...

Love

Amethyst