JooJooBean
Don Juan
So it's been a month. No contact, life's good, whatever.
But I've had a few epiphanies. Tell me if I'm going off course or just being stupid.
1.) I have a lot of life passions. Sadly, right now, that is all I do. Work. Do yoga. Teach this. Teach that. My calendar is full of days where I volunteer or work. It's great... except as of right now, that's all I do.
2.) Whatever "what if" scenarios that are currently playing in my head are due largely to the fact that I don't have fun for myself. I love going out, and doing things, and being social. I don't make opportunities to do so.
3.) My social circle doesn't like to go out, or have fun, or do things. I've been waiting around for them to want to do things. But they don't. And so neither do I. I need to change that. But it looks like I'll be doing it all solo.
I've been overthinking a ton of things lately. LTR is over. I need to just acknowledge that, stop questioning anything, and move forward. It's not like it was messy or anything. No harm done, I guess. But in re-evaluating myself, I had a lot of fun with the ex. I loved going places with her, when I actually could go places. But then I realized that there's a lot of things I could be doing with my freedom, but I don't capitalize.
A friend texted me today, said happy birthday, then said I could stop by for a drink and hang out after work. I didn't respond. He wants to sit at home, play some card games, and drink. That's fine... except that's all my friends ever do. I'm so stuck on the ex in my head because I don't meet new people practically ever. I sacrifice myself for other people, my job, my work, my passions, and I forget that I can actually go outside and do other things.
But the scary part is that I'm not going to have any compadre's to go along. They don't really do that kind of thing, not often anyway, and all of them are attached and married.
So after all this long mental vomit, what's your advice? I don't need to work out more or lift. I'm in fine shape. I already dress well enough. My hobbies and passions are life long and I'm well developed in them. I know how to comb my hair. I'm just getting angry and frustrated with my life. I don't meet people in the day to day of my job or hobbies, and if I do run into prospects, I'm taking on people who, while absolutely beautiful and connect with me in a profound way, are always at a deficit in their own lives.
I've had to admit that I just dated two single mothers in a row. The first one I overstayed my welcome. The second... well, I don't even know what to make of it. And yet I'm back in a pattern where I want to retreat in a hole. But tonight, I've decided no more. But I feel like I'm about to just go places and be there. And it's just going to be me. I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not.
Advice? I don't have a troupe of people that do this sort of thing. I can't rely on them, they're not going to really help. So what do I do?
But I've had a few epiphanies. Tell me if I'm going off course or just being stupid.
1.) I have a lot of life passions. Sadly, right now, that is all I do. Work. Do yoga. Teach this. Teach that. My calendar is full of days where I volunteer or work. It's great... except as of right now, that's all I do.
2.) Whatever "what if" scenarios that are currently playing in my head are due largely to the fact that I don't have fun for myself. I love going out, and doing things, and being social. I don't make opportunities to do so.
3.) My social circle doesn't like to go out, or have fun, or do things. I've been waiting around for them to want to do things. But they don't. And so neither do I. I need to change that. But it looks like I'll be doing it all solo.
I've been overthinking a ton of things lately. LTR is over. I need to just acknowledge that, stop questioning anything, and move forward. It's not like it was messy or anything. No harm done, I guess. But in re-evaluating myself, I had a lot of fun with the ex. I loved going places with her, when I actually could go places. But then I realized that there's a lot of things I could be doing with my freedom, but I don't capitalize.
A friend texted me today, said happy birthday, then said I could stop by for a drink and hang out after work. I didn't respond. He wants to sit at home, play some card games, and drink. That's fine... except that's all my friends ever do. I'm so stuck on the ex in my head because I don't meet new people practically ever. I sacrifice myself for other people, my job, my work, my passions, and I forget that I can actually go outside and do other things.
But the scary part is that I'm not going to have any compadre's to go along. They don't really do that kind of thing, not often anyway, and all of them are attached and married.
So after all this long mental vomit, what's your advice? I don't need to work out more or lift. I'm in fine shape. I already dress well enough. My hobbies and passions are life long and I'm well developed in them. I know how to comb my hair. I'm just getting angry and frustrated with my life. I don't meet people in the day to day of my job or hobbies, and if I do run into prospects, I'm taking on people who, while absolutely beautiful and connect with me in a profound way, are always at a deficit in their own lives.
I've had to admit that I just dated two single mothers in a row. The first one I overstayed my welcome. The second... well, I don't even know what to make of it. And yet I'm back in a pattern where I want to retreat in a hole. But tonight, I've decided no more. But I feel like I'm about to just go places and be there. And it's just going to be me. I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not.
Advice? I don't have a troupe of people that do this sort of thing. I can't rely on them, they're not going to really help. So what do I do?