Any advice for a painfully average guy?

[TheBalalaikaMan]

I think something is wrong... When I try to reply to a post, it doesn't seem to get through. Am I missing something? I don't think it contained anything worth deleting, but if so, please, let me know. I wanna be a part of this community and if I'm doing something wrong, I need to know not to do it next time 'round.

Anyway, I'll try again.

@Spaz Yeah, I've thought about it, and that's what I'm gonna do. I'll admit man, I've become a little bitter and apathetic. All's I do is sit around and play my instruments. Don't really get anything done. Maybe I ought to get out more, hang out with better guys. I've had a fair amount of girls for my age. More than most guys in my class. But honestly, most of them were either psycho (one threatened to violently murder me and desecrate my corpse) or somewhat unattractive. Come to think of it, I only really liked one, but she only saw me as a one-night kind of guy. Made me real sad.

See, I'm far from a nerd. Real far. But I just overanalyze constantly, stuck in my own head. Deep rooted mental sh*t. Tried some meditation to stop thinking. I usually drink when it doesn't work, but.. I get too wild.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hey guys. It's me. The Balalaika Man. I'm new here and stuff.

I'll try to avoid using the word 'I' too much, without writing out my whole life story too. But there are a few things about me that need to be said.

Well first off, turned 18 about six months back. Studying mechanical engineering, but I hate it. So I slack off and play/write music most of the time. I'm here because most of my friends are totally inept with girls (even more so than myself, somehow), and since I'm not that much better off (I did have a few girls thanks to alcohol, weed, dumb luck or a combination of the three, only three of them were really girlfriends), I thought I might benefit from talking to guys who know their ****.

I dunno if I'm good looking or not. Above average, maybe? Not much though. Maybe not at all. Hairline recession is a *****, even if it ain't really too visible yet and Czech guys like me lose hair early anyway. I don't really care about my looks much anymore. Got my routine, do my hair every morning, groom a bit, and then it's up to the wind which way it blows (literally). I'll admit that I think I have a pretty good style. That leather jacket cost a good bit. But I don't really dress to impress. Hey, greasers are still cool in my book, don't care what everyone else thinks.

But I've gotta admit, guys, I just don't approach. I never have. Am I scared? Yeah. But more apathetic than anything. I just sorta know that the odds are low, so I just kinda... Don't. And though I'd like to tell you all how happy I am single - well, I am. An okay job, music, Friday nights out (not tonight), but I'm still alone and I do feel like coupling up, or at least blowing off some steam, taking someone home from time to time.

I feel like I need to start again. You know, re-learn. But properly this time. Trouble is, I'm so damn unmotivated to start, 'cause hell, I don't use dating apps anymore (the girls there are a bit provincial, I guess you could say), I've fallen out of 'practice' and given up for the time being. I wanna meet girls who are worth it. But first, I gotta be worth it for them too. So, can anybody help me out for free? Please? I'd really appreciate it.

P.S.: Anyone from Czechia here? Goddamn, I haven't seen a Central European on the web for ages now.

Hit on baeeeees. Chat up girls the way you would if you already smashed. Seed being aloof, nonchalant, indifference, etc. If i smash her rotten and go ass to mouth, zero ****s given thereafter. Ghost, get married go back to her hubby lulz. Act accordingly.

There's a certain level of disassociattion that you develop in the game after a period of time. Seek competence not DJ or mpua status. As for fear, 100% are not worthy after all the throaters in the world. Detach from outcomes from the results. Freedom from outcome + intent = goat status!

You're studying for a STEM degree. Engineering is a good choice. If you hate mechanical engineering, look at mechatronics. Work sucks. School sucks. Imagine being a American gm worker outsourced at 40. Essentially ****ed.

 

[MatureDJ]

P.S.: Anyone from Czechia here? Goddamn, I haven't seen a Central European on the web for ages now.

You are sitting there smack dab in one of the primest locales for poontang, and you want folks from the Anglosphere - aka dating desert - to feel sorry for you?

 

[sazc]

Sup @ImTheDoubleGreatest! ?

 

[Skyline]

Hey dude.

I joined here when I was 17 back in 2013. I would say 90% of the DJ Bible still applies today.

The only difference is text game and or social media game. New Generation type of thing.

The skinny, wears dark colors, musician type is still a popular type. Working out won’t hurt you though. I recommend going to concerts that you like and trying to meet people there.

I also recommend downloading Tinder. It’s a really good place for refining your text game and you’ll get a lay here and there.

Experience really beats everything. Study the DJ Bible and try to apply it in your own way.

 

[Spaz]

I think something is wrong... When I try to reply to a post, it doesn't seem to get through. Am I missing something? I don't think it contained anything worth deleting, but if so, please, let me know. I wanna be a part of this community and if I'm doing something wrong, I need to know not to do it next time 'round.

Anyway, I'll try again.

@Spaz Yeah, I've thought about it, and that's what I'm gonna do. I'll admit man, I've become a little bitter and apathetic. All's I do is sit around and play my instruments. Don't really get anything done. Maybe I ought to get out more, hang out with better guys. I've had a fair amount of girls for my age. More than most guys in my class. But honestly, most of them were either psycho (one threatened to violently murder me and desecrate my corpse) or somewhat unattractive. Come to think of it, I only really liked one, but she only saw me as a one-night kind of guy. Made me real sad.

See, I'm far from a nerd. Real far. But I just overanalyze constantly, stuck in my own head. Deep rooted mental sh*t. Tried some meditation to stop thinking. I usually drink when it doesn't work, but.. I get too wild.

Hahaha

You ain't a new member.

And that's a good one you pulled.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Hey guys. It's me. The Balalaika Man. I'm new here and stuff.

I'll try to avoid using the word 'I' too much, without writing out my whole life story too. But there are a few things about me that need to be said.

Well first off, turned 18 about six months back. Studying mechanical engineering, but I hate it. So I slack off and play/write music most of the time. I'm here because most of my friends are totally inept with girls (even more so than myself, somehow), and since I'm not that much better off (I did have a few girls thanks to alcohol, weed, dumb luck or a combination of the three, only three of them were really girlfriends), I thought I might benefit from talking to guys who know their ****.

I dunno if I'm good looking or not. Above average, maybe? Not much though. Maybe not at all. Hairline recession is a *****, even if it ain't really too visible yet and Czech guys like me lose hair early anyway. I don't really care about my looks much anymore. Got my routine, do my hair every morning, groom a bit, and then it's up to the wind which way it blows (literally). I'll admit that I think I have a pretty good style. That leather jacket cost a good bit. But I don't really dress to impress. Hey, greasers are still cool in my book, don't care what everyone else thinks.

But I've gotta admit, guys, I just don't approach. I never have. Am I scared? Yeah. But more apathetic than anything. I just sorta know that the odds are low, so I just kinda... Don't. And though I'd like to tell you all how happy I am single - well, I am. An okay job, music, Friday nights out (not tonight), but I'm still alone and I do feel like coupling up, or at least blowing off some steam, taking someone home from time to time.

I feel like I need to start again. You know, re-learn. But properly this time. Trouble is, I'm so damn unmotivated to start, 'cause hell, I don't use dating apps anymore (the girls there are a bit provincial, I guess you could say), I've fallen out of 'practice' and given up for the time being. I wanna meet girls who are worth it. But first, I gotta be worth it for them too. So, can anybody help me out for free? Please? I'd really appreciate it.

P.S.: Anyone from Czechia here? Goddamn, I haven't seen a Central European on the web for ages now.

Work on improving yourself. Style. Workout. Focus on your goals. Make yourself the prize.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Hit the gym. Your friend is athlean x on youtube and alpha male strategies also on youtube. Exercise are most effective when you pay attention how you do them. If you can get personal trainer for cheap do it.

I like Athlean X's videos. Using his videos to correct my form on some exercises.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Sup @ImTheDoubleGreatest! ?

Sup fam

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I dunno if I'm good looking or not. Above average, maybe? Not much though. Maybe not at all. Hairline recession is a *****, even if it ain't really too visible yet and Czech guys like me lose hair early anyway. I don't really care about my looks much anymore. Got my routine, do my hair every morning, groom a bit, and then it's up to the wind which way it blows (literally). I'll admit that I think I have a pretty good style. That leather jacket cost a good bit. But I don't really dress to impress. Hey, greasers are still cool in my book, don't care what everyone else thinks.

I've gotten hit on by older women whenever I go the greaser/biker route. They're subtle about it too but it's like "hey, you're married and your kid is like 30 feet away from you" lmao.

But I've gotta admit, guys, I just don't approach. I never have. Am I scared? Yeah. But more apathetic than anything. I just sorta know that the odds are low, so I just kinda... Don't. And though I'd like to tell you all how happy I am single - well, I am. An okay job, music, Friday nights out (not tonight), but I'm still alone and I do feel like coupling up, or at least blowing off some steam, taking someone home from time to time.

I know what you mean. Honestly, it's just not worth it. You've gotta have some sort of context to when you go up and talk to girls. Volunteer somewhere, join a club, or get (another) job where girls work at. That way the context of you talking to them would be the setting you both are at. Cold approaching is a thing of the past honestly. Social media has disillusioned everyone so it doesn't really work anymore unless you are phenomenally good-looking, or give off such a powerful vibe that it would compete with Hitler. And 1) you said you're more average in looks, and 2) if you do happen to get into that mindset, you won't be able to keep it unless EVERYTHING is going right in your life, which just doesn't happen nowadays. Plus, people will hate on you anyway, and bad vibes everywhere will take down even the toughest of people. Just work on your overall social skills and try to be more fun, playful, joking, c*cky, etc. and do so in those places where girls are at. The only way to really meet them is through social circle, i.e. you need to have social proof. That way they feel comfortable with you. And if you are around someone at work/club/wherever often enough, you two will eventually start to get used to each other and they'll be more willing to engage with you. Having the proper social context is crucial. After that, it's all just a matter of how good your game is (inner game in particular).

The only other route that I could think of is if you have hella followers on twitter or instagram and you just start DMing people through that, because your massive following will act as social proof at that point. But the problem is, not everyone can have a massive following. Plus, online interactions are way different from face-to-face interactions, so some people might seem cool online, but awkward af in person. Even worse, that could start to happen to you. So that's why I don't like it.

I feel like I need to start again. You know, re-learn. But properly this time. Trouble is, I'm so damn unmotivated to start, 'cause hell, I don't use dating apps anymore (the girls there are a bit provincial, I guess you could say), I've fallen out of 'practice' and given up for the time being. I wanna meet girls who are worth it. But first, I gotta be worth it for them too. So, can anybody help me out for free? Please? I'd really appreciate it.

Just be masculine. Start working out, and work out HARD. And after that, just try to be masculine.

 

[TheBalalaikaMan]

Hahaha

You ain't a new member.

And that's a good one you pulled.

Sorry, what? This is like my third day on the site... Think you might have gotten me confused with someone else, my friend. There's only room for one Central European balalaika-strumming, flu-ridden guy here, and that's...



@ImTheDoubleGreatest!

Screw it for now, I guess. Not sure about my looks. Girls have told me I'm good-looking a good amount of times. Never THAT good looking though. So it probably doesn't mean jack and it's mostly out of pity. My mom says I'm good-looking, and so does my grandma. So that means I must be!

Nah, just kidding. Anyway - there's not really much I can do for a quick fix. Most girls aren't even interested in talking to me on those bloody apps. I've pretty much quit using them completely. It's always the same damn conversation with one-word responses, and no matter what you do, they won't budge. They're just disinterested from the very start. Makes you wonder why they swiped you if they ain't willing to share a word.

But... That's not my problem. I can't change people. So I'll change myself. After I get over this damn flu. Again.
But thanks for the advice! I'll take it to heart and do what I can.

 

[Stephen89]

You're only 18 years old.

Improve yourself, go to the gym, get some new clothes, find an outfit, improve your life. Keep on top of your studies and work hard.

Gain more knowledge, meet people, socialise, have a good time.

 

[TheBalalaikaMan]

You're only 18 years old.

Improve yourself, go to the gym, get some new clothes, find an outfit, improve your life. Keep on top of your studies and work hard.

Gain more knowledge, meet people, socialise, have a good time.

Yeah. Seems to be the way to go. Just gotta develop more. However...

Been wondering if maybe there really is something deeply wrong with me... Like, how can someone be THIS much of a misfit? Even someone with whom I have a lot in common, I seem to send them marching in the other direction almost right away.
I can change, it's just... I don't wanna pretend to be someone I ain't on such a fundamental level. Yeah, I'm different, and I'm a bit odd, I admit. But I mean, I'm not that weird. Just kinda normally weird. Yeah, I have different interests than a lot of young people, but is it that important...? I'm still just the average guy next door.

Think I should just wait for someone equally out-of-touch? Or is there point in trying to change myself from the ground up? I dunno if I can be a Don Juan, to be honest. I mean, would Don Juan play a balalaika and sing on the street, reading Evgejnij Onegin after wrapping up and calling it a day?

 

[Spaz]

Sorry, what? This is like my third day on the site... Think you might have gotten me confused with someone else, my friend. There's only room for one Central European balalaika-strumming, flu-ridden guy here, and that's...

View attachment 2775

@ImTheDoubleGreatest!

Screw it for now, I guess. Not sure about my looks. Girls have told me I'm good-looking a good amount of times. Never THAT good looking though. So it probably doesn't mean jack and it's mostly out of pity. My mom says I'm good-looking, and so does my grandma. So that means I must be!

Nah, just kidding. Anyway - there's not really much I can do for a quick fix. Most girls aren't even interested in talking to me on those bloody apps. I've pretty much quit using them completely. It's always the same damn conversation with one-word responses, and no matter what you do, they won't budge. They're just disinterested from the very start. Makes you wonder why they swiped you if they ain't willing to share a word.

But... That's not my problem. I can't change people. So I'll change myself. After I get over this damn flu. Again.
But thanks for the advice! I'll take it to heart and do what I can.

Hahaha

Get well then and use ur main account for fvck sake.

 

[TheBalalaikaMan]

Hahaha

Get well then and use ur main account for fvck sake.

Dude I have no idea what you're talking about... Honest to God. Whoever you think I am, that ain't me man. I found this site four days ago through some old thread about a guy who couldn't get girls. People didn't berate him, so I decided I'd join.

I can send you a picture of what I look like if you fancy, but I look pretty awful right now.

 

[Spaz]

Dude I have no idea what you're talking about... Honest to God. Whoever you think I am, that ain't me man. I found this site four days ago through some old thread about a guy who couldn't get girls. People didn't berate him, so I decided I'd join.

I can send you a picture of what I look like if you fancy, but I look pretty awful right now.

Okay young man.

Then my 1st advice to you will work and get you laid unless you're a total nerd.

 

[TheBalalaikaMan]

Okay young man.

Then my 1st advice to you will work and get you laid unless you're a total nerd.

Not until my face doesn't look like I've been hit by a truck. Give me two days and I'll be back on my feet. Ain't got nothing to lose, so full steam ahead.

Just one thing. Being an engineering nerd, there aren't many lasses around. Where do you go to just.. Interact with them?

 

[Spaz]

Not until my face doesn't look like I've been hit by a truck. Give me two days and I'll be back on my feet. Ain't got nothing to lose, so full steam ahead.

Just one thing. Being an engineering nerd, there aren't many lasses around. Where do you go to just.. Interact with them?

I've got a mechatronic degree (although it's pretty much useless now), majoring in robotics and that didn't stop me.

Getting laid is not tied to ur education but very much on ur personality (how you think) + how you act or do things.

U r a smart guy, in my 1st post, why do you think I suggested that mindset?

 

[TheBalalaikaMan]

I've got a mechatronic degree (although it's pretty much useless now), majoring in robotics and that didn't stop me.

Getting laid is not tied to ur education but very much on ur personality (how you think) + how you act or do things.

U r a smart guy, in my 1st post, why do you think I suggested that mindset?

Well, if I go into every interaction with a woman thinking she doesn't want to take me home, I'll relieve the pressure of expectation. It'd allow me to be relaxed and not make any desperate moves. And since women do seem to prefer the guy not trying to get them, provided they are at least somewhat attracted to him to begin with, I'd guess the 'law of least effort' would, ironically, get her to want to take me home.

So she would, essentially, provided she's attracted to me at least slightly, do all the work for me. That's the vibe I get from that mindset.

That's not the hardest part. The hardest part for me is being at least that slight bit attractive. If I ain't autistic, I'm damn near close. Like, God, I can be so inept that I surprise myself sometimes. You'd think I'm one of those 40 year old virgin types at first glance (just cooler). Never after a drink, but without it, my voice goes all high pitched and constrained, brain stops, stuttering starts. Vocal lessons and knowing how to sing unfortunately didn't help with that.

 

[marmel75]

Work on becoming less average