Answer me this...

[Doctormad]

Why in God's blazing name do ex's call you out of the blue after you have made it clear that you have cut off all contact with them. I think I have read about three hundred threads in which that was the case, either to tell them that they were getting married, or that they want to get back together, or for some other stupid reason. I thought I would be immune to this sort of thing, seeing as during the breakup, I did everything right (i.e. cut off all contact, started living my life again). WRONG! Last night she called me and left a message. I dont exactly remember what it was because I deleted it. Although its probably not the dj thing to do, I am considering calling her back, if for whatever reason than to find out why she out of the blue contacted me in the first place.

So again I ask you, why after you have cut all contact, and I do mean ALL, do ex's try to make contact with you out of the blue like that?

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

Mine have, even after years of no contact. Take it as a supreme compliment - that she still thinks about you.

A lot of it depends on how you broke up in the first place. When you cut off contact, and I'm guessing it was cold turkey, you left her to do nothing but to stew in her own sauce.

Depending on how/why you broke up, consider calling her back.

 

[rees26]

Why in God's blazing name do ex's call you out of the blue after you have made it clear that you have cut off all contact with them. I think I have read about three hundred threads in which that was the case, either to tell them that they were getting married, or that they want to get back together, or for some other stupid reason. I thought I would be immune to this sort of thing, seeing as during the breakup, I did everything right (i.e. cut off all contact, started living my life again). WRONG! Last night she called me and left a message. I dont exactly remember what it was because I deleted it. Although its probably not the dj thing to do, I am considering calling her back, if for whatever reason than to find out why she out of the blue contacted me in the first place.

So again I ask you, why after you have cut all contact, and I do mean ALL, do ex's try to make contact with you out of the blue like that?

don't call her, it's a freakin trap, she's just gonna be the same person you talked to before. Remember why you left in the first place. when time passes you forget that she was a stupid ***** but she hasn't changed you have.

 

[driver55]

yup

my thread resurrection of a lost soul...I just posted this similar topic as my last post. I just don't get it....mine seems more bizzare though. my advice, don't contact. Why they do it? A number of reasons could be possible:
Because they
a) Want to know how you are doing/relationship wise included ("So you seeing anyone?" Who knows where that could go...)
b) Want to fill YOU in on how they are doing (relationship wise, once again) "Oh hey, I know you used to pork me every night, but I thought you should know I am getting married to Mr. xxx and he will be throttling me from now on, FYI. Hope your doing well!"
c) Some stressful event occurs in their life and they fall back on you. Someone dies, extreme PMS, have a kid, etc.

I'm sure there are more, but those (I would assume) to be the main ones.

My advice...do not contact unless a VERY good reason to. Seperation terms do apply here, as far as being factored into your decision making process to contact them. They are an EX FOR A REASON!!! Don't forget that.

Rock on.:rockon:

 

[DJDamage]

You can't let things like that rattle you. Once you decide to close the door on someone, you close it for good. Keeping your head clear and being dicipline is the key in those situations. This is your past we are talking here so all you have to do is erase her message and forget about the whole thing.

Keep the past being buried in the past or else it will haunt you. Concentrate on today while keeping an eye out for the future.

DjDamage

 

[Captain AFC]

When my ex suddenly contacted me for a reason other than getting her portions of the rent payments, I was startled. I was like, "Oh wow, maybe she doesn't resent me. I'll go visit her then and we'll talk. This should be great!"

Cue a conversation that essentially consisted of her telling me what kind of men she's attracted to, how's she's trying to lose weight (of course now) to attract said men, how her job is awesome, how her two kittens are just super excellent company, how she's made so many new friends, how she was loving all the concerts she went to (and the significance there was that I skipped out on all of her concert going antics), and basically how she's doing stuff and I'm not doing anything (except going to her school that she just graduated from... I was only there because of her).

In short... she took a huge dump on me, confirmed her "theory" that all of our problems were due to my failures, and that she's better off without me. Fast-foward a year later (yes, my AFC tendencies had me keep track), and she's still blaming me for stuff that happened three or four years ago. Another man has left her (basically, he's rebound boy), and instead of saying, "Well, so and so sucks," she decides to mention me. How did I suddenly become the subject of misery and woe after all this time and no contact since that visit?

So, ignoring the fact that I have obsessive problems that I'm now actively trying to put to an end, I think you are well advised to just leave it alone. Chances of her really being interested in a cordial repair of the past are minimal. More likely, she's looking to revalidate her theory that you are Mr. Satan, and she has not moved on from the past. I could be wrong, but I wouldn't place my bets on it.

 

[Desdinova]

A lot of it depends on how you broke up in the first place. When you cut off contact, and I'm guessing it was cold turkey, you left her to do nothing but to stew in her own sauce.

Agreed. When a relationship ends, women want the easiest, least emotional way out. That's why you'll often get, "Well, I want to go fvck other guys, but I still want us to remain friends." When a woman doesn't get the easy way out of a relationship, her bucket of emotions starts to spill all over the place, and she can't help but think of you.

By remaining friends, you continue to let her have control over your life. If you start fvcking other women, she's going to get jealous, be mad at you and try influencing you to break up with her.

When you completely cut her off, you don't give her the satisfation of knowing what you're up to, how you're doing, and WHO you're doing. She no longer has any control or influence on your life, and it drives her nutty! Therefore, you will eventually get a phone call.

 

[Doctormad]

Just an update:

Going against your guy's advice, I did decide to contact her. In doing so, I found out the real reason why she broke up with me, and it was exactly what I suspected. I also found out that what she told me about getting back together with one of her ex's was a complete lie. In essence, the main reason she wanted to call me was because she wanted me to boink her. I will admit its flattering when she uses me as a yardstick for measuring all her sexual encounters, before and after our relationship, though.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Don't pick through the garbage once the can's been dragged to the curb and don't bother entertaining an ex once the door's been shut.

Girls do this for the same reasons guys (like you) call back - they're both out of options.

 

[Cruise]

Yup... it just means you broke up with someone whose game with you turned out to be a matter of circumstance - not of cause. In other words, your ex had no game.

= no regrets.