Another cancel...take it in stride

[BackInTheGame78]

Had something set up with a woman who looks like a HB 6.5-7 in her pics. Showed high IL the entire time, actually talked to her on the phone for a few minutes to set up the date, was very eager and asked what days I was available, etc and said any day worked for her. I chose today, at 9pm, get the following text at 6pm:

Her: "Don't hate me but I think I want to postpone our drink. I tried to take a nap after work because I woke up exhausted and it didn't happen. So to be truthful the last thing I feel like doing is meeting someone new and the getting to know each other conversation. Idk if that comes off right but I don't feel like I'm in the right mindset. I'm really sorry!!!"

Me: "It's OK, <NAME>"

Her: "I hate canceling on people and I'm really sorry. I've just been having an off week or something. Couple people asked me if I was ok at work today cus haven't been myself."

Me: "We can reschedule for another night, it's not a big deal. Well, as long as I'm still single by then."

Her: "Lol!! This is true. That's happened before!! Lol"

Me: "Ok <NAME>, get some rest and let me know what works for you and I'll see what I can do."

Her: "Thanks I will definitely let you know how next week looks"

So it was a cancel, but seemingly with a counter-offer for another night. So I let her live. Was kind of tired today anyways, so it might have worked out for the best. Might have gone a little too far suppose, but I never fully committed to a later time, I just told her I'd see what I could do.

I'm thinking she might be on the rag? Or maybe she is just full of crap. Who knows. Don't really care. Will update when she gets back to me...or doesn't, lol....

Thoughts?

I also find it odd that she has apologized to me in almost every text she has sent in some way, not only in his convo, but in the other few convo's we have had...like if she is busy at work and I text her and she takes a few hours to get back to me, she always says "sorry, BITG, I was blah blah blah..."

If we end up meeting I'm going to tell her to cut that sh!t out...its kind of annoying to keep having her tell me she is sorry like I'm her Dad or something.

 

[Lozboss]

You did right bro.

May be an umber of reasons- don't bother as to the why as you'll never know.

Is this OLD?

I've been on Tinder recently and the level of flaking is absurd. Some come back and rearrange- others don't.

You're doing it right by not chasing- leave the door open and walk away. If you get tempted to call them then delete their number.

 

[Speculator E]

Look man. Go spin other plates. When one chick flakes, you move on to the other.

With this chick, I would not bother contacting for at least 1-2 weeks and only when I feel like it. If you had other options you wouldn't care so much.

 

[Speculator E]

Her: "Don't hate me but I think I want to postpone our drink. I tried to take a nap after work because I woke up exhausted and it didn't happen. So to be truthful the last thing I feel like doing is meeting someone new and the getting to know each other conversation. Idk if that comes off right but I don't feel like I'm in the right mindset. I'm really sorry!!!"

Me: "It's OK, <NAME>"

Her: "Don't hate me but I think I want to postpone our drink. I tried to take a nap after work because I woke up exhausted and it didn't happen. So to be truthful the last thing I feel like doing is meeting someone new and the getting to know each other conversation. Idk if that comes off right but I don't feel like I'm in the right mindset. I'm really sorry!!!"
Me: "No problem, you let me know when you do"

Then no contact.

That's now your text game should have went. You made yourself look desperate by continuing to beg and especially with the last two lines. And I'm sure she's thinking you were begging. Right now your only chance is to go no contact and re initiate 1-2 weeks later. Maybe even a month.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Her: "Don't hate me but I think I want to postpone our drink. I tried to take a nap after work because I woke up exhausted and it didn't happen. So to be truthful the last thing I feel like doing is meeting someone new and the getting to know each other conversation. Idk if that comes off right but I don't feel like I'm in the right mindset. I'm really sorry!!!"
Me: "No problem, you let me know when you do"

Then no contact.

That's now your text game should have went. You made yourself look desperate by continuing to beg and especially with the last two lines. And I'm sure she's thinking you were begging. Right now your only chance is to go no contact and re initiate 1-2 weeks later. Maybe even a month.

Perhaps, but I am pretty far from desperate. I have multiple plates and a multitude of numbers I haven't even contacted yet...somewhere around 30. Begging? There was no begging involved. And I said I'll see what I can do, not that we would definitely meet up.

My gut feeling on this is she is nervous to meet me and wants to make a good impression on me. I get the feeling she doesn't think she is good enough for me. Just my gut feeling on the situation.

 

[guru1000]

The goal is to put yourself in a constant state of not giving a fvck. Hence, the double-booking. One flakes, the other awaits. Use those 30 numbers for double-bookings.

For less seasoned DJs who can't double-book: Make plans with your friends, colleagues, associates that night too. Doesn't always have to be at the same time as the date. The law of inertia. Keep in motion and abundant at all times.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The goal is to put yourself in a constant state of not giving a fvck. Hence, the double-booking. One flakes, the other awaits. Use those 30 numbers for double-bookings.

For less seasoned DJs who can't double-book: Make plans with your friends, colleagues, associates that night too. Doesn't always have to be at the same time as the date. The law of inertia. Keep in motion and abundant at all times.

I might start doing that...

What are your thoughts on the text exchange? I'm admittedly poor in these situations, the only real success I've had is going scorched earth, but my gut feeling in this one is she is nervous to meet me and wants to make a good impression. Did I go too far in my nonchalantness?

 

[guru1000]

Didn't examine your text. Although reflection is great to hone current game, I have a zero tolerance policy for flakes unless there is a meritorious reason. Time is a precious commodity to me, and any girl who attempts to manipulate my time, NEXTs herself, and can go f*ck herself.

A simple "Fvck u" would suffice.

 

[Suspens]

my gut feeling in this one is she is nervous to meet me and wants to make a good impression.

Sounds like it. Are you a big guy by any chance? Some girls feel threatened by big hunks, in a non-serious way though.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds like it. Are you a big guy by any chance? Some girls feel threatened by big hunks, in a non-serious way though.

Yes, I'm very muscular and look like an NFL Linebacker...no joke.

 

[Lozboss]

Back- like your confidence but you need to find some humility.

Just an observation, be offended if you want to be but it wasn't intended to be an insult.

 

[stevo]

Her: "I hate canceling on people and I'm really sorry. I've just been having an off week or something. Couple people asked me if I was ok at work today cus haven't been myself."

Me: "We can reschedule for another night, it's not a big deal. Well, as long as I'm still single by then."

Her: "Lol!! This is true. That's happened before!! Lol"

Me: "Ok <NAME>, get some rest and let me know what works for you and I'll see what I can do."

You did good overall but this was weak.

"It's not a big deal" are you serious?


You don't reward a flake. Live & Learn


She is supposed to counter offer not you. You came off desperate even if you wont admit it.


Free advise:

Don't initiate with ole girl anymore. Only respond.

She's either brave enough to meet or she can take her time wasting syndrome to south beach.

 

[Firestar786]

i dont know why some of you faggots are hating on backinthegame.

its pathetic seriously.

the guy has gone out there to get psvvy which 95% of you dont have the balls to and you decide to put him down.

absolutely utterly pathetic and this is why I dont personally post here or write threads as this place is full of BS.



on a good note backinthegame keep up the good work. nice to read your tren fuelled threads lol. currently on 300mg tren e myself and its working a treat with the b1tchs

 

[Lozboss]

i dont know why some of you faggots are hating on backinthegame.

its pathetic seriously.

the guy has gone out there to get psvvy which 95% of you dont have the balls to and you decide to put him down.

absolutely utterly pathetic and this is why I dont personally post here or write threads as this place is full of BS.



on a good note backinthegame keep up the good work. nice to read your tren fuelled threads lol. currently on 300mg tren e myself and its working a treat with the b1tchs

What is this BS? Completely misunderstood the thread or didn't bother reading it.

He asked for advice and critique and people gave him advice, some of it was blunt. This is an 'help improve my game/advice' thread, not a circle jerk morale boost thread.

This is a forum- not everyone will agree. Nobody is hating in this thread. You need to chill and understand that.

Please don't post if you are really that sensitive.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You did good overall but this was weak.

"It's not a big deal" are you serious?


You don't reward a flake. Live & Learn


She is supposed to counter offer not you. You came off desperate even if you wont admit it.


Free advise:

Don't initiate with ole girl anymore. Only respond.

She's either brave enough to meet or she can take her time wasting syndrome to south beach.

All right, so basically go with the initial "It's OK" response and then just be like "well, I guess we will see" or something along those lines on counter offers...

On straight flakes I just go scorched earth and don't give a damn, lol

 

[Trump]

Had something set up with a woman who looks like a HB 6.5-7 in her pics. Showed high IL the entire time, actually talked to her on the phone for a few minutes to set up the date, was very eager and asked what days I was available, etc and said any day worked for her. I chose today, at 9pm, get the following text at 6pm:

Her: "Don't hate me but I think I want to postpone our drink. I tried to take a nap after work because I woke up exhausted and it didn't happen. So to be truthful the last thing I feel like doing is meeting someone new and the getting to know each other conversation. Idk if that comes off right but I don't feel like I'm in the right mindset. I'm really sorry!!!"

Me: "It's OK, <NAME>"

Bro there is NO RESPONSE warranted. She suckered you in and bought fast. Even if she countered, I would have said "I'll get back to you." You built up her ego for her boyfriend, now she doesn't need you anymore.

Me: "Ok <NAME>, get some rest and let me know what works for you and I'll see what I can do."

Come on bro, the girl told you to go to hell, and your reply is as above? She is laughing at you. If she cancels she has to counter within 5 seconds and you have to be sleeping with her by the end of date 2.

Sometimes it sounds like we want friends more than girls to sleep with. :box:

 

[guru1000]

Allow me to share my philosophy on people who waste my time, as a self-proclaimed high-value male. I currently value my time at $10,000 per hour (my NPV: although income is not at this level now, it will be one day).

Now here comes a girl who I spend 15 minutes on to arrange a date, and allot a time slot of 1-1.5 hours for a first date. So I am out 2 hours, or $20,000, based on her commitment for a date.

Now she flakes.

She cost me $20,000. How do I respond to this? "Fvck you!" Nothing less.

Don't reward a flake with another $20,000 loss. No double-down. No way.

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

If a woman ever cancels a first date on me it better be a real excuse, like a family emergency, and she needs to be the one to bring up the idea of a reschedule.

Could she have excuse have been true? Sure, but that's what caffeine, adrenaline, and other hormones are for, to keep you awake for things you're excited about. There have been days where I had a date but didn't get ideal sleep the night before, but I made it work anyway because I wanted to see the woman, and the same will be true for any woman interested in seeing you.

If she cancels I would simply say something like "Thanks for the heads-up.", that's it. If her excuse was BS and she texted back mentioning getting together again, I would tell her that I'm free tonight or that she should give me a call in a few weeks (which is pretty much the polite way of letter her know this is her one shot).

As hard as it is for us ex-nice guys to understand, women really do want you to stand up to them. Not in a rude or mean way, but a in a simple, matter-of-fact way that demonstrates confidence and self-worth. If you let her get away with BS excuses she is going to know you're a weak guy who is not successful with women. Buying into a woman's lame excuses also lets them know you don't know much about women. Women want to know you have the strength to dominate them in a loving but powerful way. Letting them jerk you around with lame excuses kills and attraction they had for you.

Even if you don't have any other woman to go out with, treat the ones you do interact with as if you do. Any woman who really likes you will make 100% sure she makes her best first impression on you, so unless she can come up with a really good and convincing excuse there's no reason to give her a second chance. If she really did have a legitimate excuse she would be begging you "hey, I'm really really sorry. I really wanted to see you but this family emergency came up and I really need to take care of it. I'm free everyday next week but Tuesday. Let me know and I'll make it up to you I promise!". If she doesn't show any concern for the fact she's wasted your time then she's not interested or doesn't respect you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Allow me to share my philosophy on people who waste my time, as a self-proclaimed high-value male. I currently value my time at $10,000 per hour (my NPV: although income is not at this level now, it will be one day).

Now here comes a girl who I spend 15 minutes on to arrange a date, and allot a time slot of 1-1.5 hours for a first date. So I am out 2 hours, or $20,000, based on her commitment for a date.

Now she flakes.

She cost me $20,000. How do I respond to this? "Fvck you!" Nothing less.

Don't reward a flake with another $20,000 loss. No double-down. No way.

Fair point...I never really care, cause I can just hit the gym for the hour or hour and a half I was gonna spend with them. Usually I woulda worked out in the morning if I had something planned at night, so I'll just get a second workout in, lol

Just pack on some extra muscle instead of meeting up with someone, no biggie.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Bro there is NO RESPONSE warranted. She suckered you in and bought fast. Even if she countered, I would have said "I'll get back to you." You built up her ego for her boyfriend, now she doesn't need you anymore.



Come on bro, the girl told you to go to hell, and your reply is as above? She is laughing at you. If she cancels she has to counter within 5 seconds and you have to be sleeping with her by the end of date 2.

Sometimes it sounds like we want friends more than girls to sleep with. :box:

Its cool either way, I don't need her. The only she is missing out on is the best sex of her life and probably seeing the best male body she would have ever seen naked.

Trust me, I'm not hurting.