Anger Issues.

[Wingedsig]

Long story short I am finding myself being very short fused in my dealings with women and unwittingly shooting myself in the foot. As a prior AFC, I began to get schooled at 27. Things picked up as far as ability with women and "game" is concerned, but I find when I am able to discern their shyt tests I am very short fused and tend to over-react. I know indifference is the key, and keeps the hamster wheel spinning but damn. Wonder if anyone else is running into this, and how you are able to better deal with it? Something went south w a chick I work with, HB10, called her on her shyt. Immediately start going after 2 others. One I am successful with, other one flakes. Today, this was an interaction when we were supposed to have a date tonight:
HB7: I'm so sorry, I forgot I have this going on tonight!(texts pic of xmas card invite
Me: That's cool no worries, tonights just as good a night as any to get new numbers!
HB7: Her, wait.....We can meet after!
Me: Nah, go have a good time!
Her: ????
Me: What that means is I don't tolerate women flaking to "test" me. I'll see what I feel like this afternoon.
Her: I think this has to do with a grudge with other women and you taking it out on me, and I don't appreciate it.
Me: I called you out, you didn't like it.Period. I don't lick women's boots. If you are looking for a doormat, you got the wrong dude.
Her: Best of luck.

Ha. I really need to find a happy medium between calling them on their shyt without being an outright dYck. I just find that after dealing with the same garbage over and over, it gets cumbersome and I have little tolerance.How do you gents deal with dating fatigue and remind yourself this is suppose to be fun?! Besides the occasional lay.Ha.This one didn't really hurt, just was more comical than anything.....Just need to find a way to keep my anger in check and wanted to see how you folks do it. Today I started crossfit, and a diet to work on my body. I will continue to improve myself, and spin other plates.....But would love to hear anything additional advice wise for keeping anger in check.:box:

 

[Bokanovsky]

Your initial response was perfect. You should have gone into radio silence mode after her "????".

 

[Desdinova]

HB7: I'm so sorry, I forgot I have this going on tonight!(texts pic of xmas card invite
Me: That's cool no worries, tonights just as good a night as any to get new numbers!
HB7: Her, wait.....We can meet after!
Me: Nah, go have a good time!
Her: ????

It was all good up until this point.

Me: What that means is I don't tolerate women flaking to "test" me. I'll see what I feel like this afternoon.

You cannot call a woman out on her 5hit before you get into a relationship with her. When you do that, you blow yourself out of the water.

Remember, you don't always owe her a response. Dropping the conversation after those question marks would have been perfect. You would have been on her mind for the rest of the night. You also did well in not agreeing to see her afterwards which rarely works in your favor.

You can't lose your temper around a chick you're not fvcking. Even after you start fvcking her, losing your temper within the first couple of months is a bad idea. You need to build value in the relationship before you can do that.

 

[Atom Smasher]

She did seem to go the extra mile to show you via the picture that she really did have a prior engagement. You never see a chick do that.

I would have let that one slide. You're probably going through a necessary phase short-term and the anger will settle into a more ambient seething rage. Just kidding, but you probably will settle down and find appropriate calibration, especially since you are aware of the issue.

 

[disgustipated]

Yeah she put in.effort to.actually show she was tied up. That's a good sign. Very few can be bothered to do that nowadays. High interest indicator.

Also, while trying to not get tested or whatever...falling for it. Don't telegraph what you're doing by telling her. The purpose is to get her hamster wondering. Once you explain verbally what you're doing the hwmster stops. Yeah 2nd or 3 rd response then silence. She woulda came back into your frame big time.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I really need to find a happy medium between calling them on their shyt without being an outright dYck.

No you don't, you just need to stop being a dyck.

You just need to set boundaries, and ACT on them, not give them a lengthy verbal discourse.

AND unless you're Hugh Hefner, there's gonna be some give and take with EVERY girl you deal with from the get go.

When girls "test" you, they are just acting naturally. They're NOT assuming you are a doormat.

Come up with a set of rules on how to deal with flakes, and STICK TO THEM.

For example, if she flakes once, give her a second chance, and then next her, or something like that.

Just whenever she flakes, let her know it's not biggie, as you'll have fun anyhow (which you did fine).

Just stick to your pre-determined rules, and don't worry about lecturing anybody to prove your alpha-manliness.

Girls that are into you will stick around, girls that aren't won't.

No need for outrageous expressions of butt-hurted-ness.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Long story short I am finding myself being very short fused in my dealings with women and unwittingly shooting myself in the foot. As a prior AFC, I began to get schooled at 27. Things picked up as far as ability with women and "game" is concerned, but I find when I am able to discern their shyt tests I am very short fused and tend to over-react. I know indifference is the key, and keeps the hamster wheel spinning but damn. Wonder if anyone else is running into this, and how you are able to better deal with it? Something went south w a chick I work with, HB10, called her on her shyt. Immediately start going after 2 others. One I am successful with, other one flakes. Today, this was an interaction when we were supposed to have a date tonight:
HB7: I'm so sorry, I forgot I have this going on tonight!(texts pic of xmas card invite
Me: That's cool no worries, tonights just as good a night as any to get new numbers!
HB7: Her, wait.....We can meet after!
Me: Nah, go have a good time!
Her: ????
Me: What that means is I don't tolerate women flaking to "test" me. I'll see what I feel like this afternoon.
Her: I think this has to do with a grudge with other women and you taking it out on me, and I don't appreciate it.
Me: I called you out, you didn't like it.Period. I don't lick women's boots. If you are looking for a doormat, you got the wrong dude.
Her: Best of luck.

Ha. I really need to find a happy medium between calling them on their shyt without being an outright dYck. I just find that after dealing with the same garbage over and over, it gets cumbersome and I have little tolerance.How do you gents deal with dating fatigue and remind yourself this is suppose to be fun?! Besides the occasional lay.Ha.This one didn't really hurt, just was more comical than anything.....Just need to find a way to keep my anger in check and wanted to see how you folks do it. Today I started crossfit, and a diet to work on my body. I will continue to improve myself, and spin other plates.....But would love to hear anything additional advice wise for keeping anger in check.:box:

So you were a late bloomer until 27?

 

[tryst type]

This was cringing to read right after her response of "????"

But I feel you man, I was this way when I started learning about how women act, testing/flaking etc.

I'd feel obligated to show her I know exactly what she's doing and I won't stand for it! But the truth is, that rarely if ever works or is the solution.

Her sending the pic was kind of a courteous thing on her part and she wanted to show she did in fact forget.

What I've learned to do, and suggest you try is one of two things:

1. Have more than one chick pending for a potential meet up/date on same day, just leave things vague when you ask them to get together and that you'll be in touch for details.

2. What I've been doing lately, if they cancel and give no follow-up just simply say "ok what's your counter offer?" They'll either give one, be straight up honest that they're not interested, not respond, or give you the run around "I'm not sure I need to check my schedule for the week"

Personally, if it's anything other than suggesting another day I just delete their number and move on.

Remember getting angry only shows you're just sitting around waiting for her to make your life better or whatever else a woman fabricates in her mind when you don't come off like you could care less if you two get together or not.