First off .. I just want to introduce myself. I am 34 and have been married for almost 15 years to the most amazing woman ever and with her for going on 19 years now. We have 2 fantastic children aged 14 and 8.
This site has been a great resource for me of self discovery over the past year (been a long time lurker) to learn how to be the man my wife needed me to be. As our marriage progressed it got increasingly unsatisfying and I couldnt put my finger on why. I spent almost all my years in my marriage as an AFC (hate to admit that .. but whatever) and being the total nice guy it did work to some degree (obviously or i would not have married my wife).. Once i found this site I realized my problem was that I was in fact AFC and it was greatly contributed to by the way my mother brought me up ... she was a single mom. When I found this link http://www.gillistriplett.com/rel101/articles/harmful.html it pretty much described exactly who i was ... i was horrified .. as I didnt see it til it was spelt out in front of me (and after many fights with my wife over her telling me to "grow up" about things...
Anyhow .. once i figured out that my mother had demasculated me, i began a journey in the last year to fix me. This site has pretty much done that and I very much appreciate the info here even tho most of it is for single guys looking to date and pick up chicks. I however was not interested in picking up chicks, but getting my wife interested in me again as we were room mates more than lovers. There is 2 threads on this site that really stood out to me as the game changer. 1. Kill your desperation by Pook .. and 2. Be a Man by Pook. Once I ran into those 2 links ... i read them out to my wife during a discussion one day (after we had repaired a good portion of our marriage with some other tools) .. and my wife says to me.. "Honey ..THATS exactly what i need you to do and be like, i was just never able to put it into words like that! ... she totally encourages me to be as she puts it "pook like" as often as I can. Being this way has really helped me help her with her emotional PMS as i no longer feed into her drama nor feel desperate or needy any longer ... which defuses her rather quickly as MY energy becomes the dominant force and usually whatever I am feeling wears off on the family house hold and becomes the major emotional state of the home. Great right? YEs it is ...
So .. the helpful advice? Well .. some of you may think its AFC ... but this site called www.marriagebuilders.com combined with the DJ bible ... and some dog whispering techniques (being calm assertive) has made my marriage the best ever especially after finding out that I was demasculated and really just generally unmanly. (So now I hunt with my 14yo daughter .. for the past few years its great!)
At first I thought marriage builders was the key to my marriage success (it fixed 90% of my issues in our marriage but i was still a needy nervous wreck and that took this past year to figure out ... even with my wife that i had been with for almost 20 years wtf lol) ... so MB has greatly contributed to my marriage success and turned around some emotional affairs that were brewing with other people between the both of us (we were glued to our PCs 24/7 playing stupid online RPGs) .. and living totally seperate lives in the games and had totally seperate "friends".... turns out online games and friends of the opposite sex on the net are very destructive to marriages! Go figure... lol Online games are a waste of time .. a breeding ground for emotional affairs ...
So yeah ... thats a bit about me. If ya got any questions ... shoot away. Fricken so glad I found this site Thank you .. thank you .. it has saved me many more years of being AFC and helped me recognize what it was I was doing wrong .. combine that with the tools over on the marriage builders site .. and man ... im a happy fricken camper and so is my wife. She has that sparkle in her eyes again .. and can hardly keep her hands off me now. Its like we just started dating again.
So you married guys out there ... if your having a hard time still in your marriage .. head over to that marriage builders site. You will find some very useful info to add to your tool box.
Epi
edit to fix minor detail
This site has been a great resource for me of self discovery over the past year (been a long time lurker) to learn how to be the man my wife needed me to be. As our marriage progressed it got increasingly unsatisfying and I couldnt put my finger on why. I spent almost all my years in my marriage as an AFC (hate to admit that .. but whatever) and being the total nice guy it did work to some degree (obviously or i would not have married my wife).. Once i found this site I realized my problem was that I was in fact AFC and it was greatly contributed to by the way my mother brought me up ... she was a single mom. When I found this link http://www.gillistriplett.com/rel101/articles/harmful.html it pretty much described exactly who i was ... i was horrified .. as I didnt see it til it was spelt out in front of me (and after many fights with my wife over her telling me to "grow up" about things...
Anyhow .. once i figured out that my mother had demasculated me, i began a journey in the last year to fix me. This site has pretty much done that and I very much appreciate the info here even tho most of it is for single guys looking to date and pick up chicks. I however was not interested in picking up chicks, but getting my wife interested in me again as we were room mates more than lovers. There is 2 threads on this site that really stood out to me as the game changer. 1. Kill your desperation by Pook .. and 2. Be a Man by Pook. Once I ran into those 2 links ... i read them out to my wife during a discussion one day (after we had repaired a good portion of our marriage with some other tools) .. and my wife says to me.. "Honey ..THATS exactly what i need you to do and be like, i was just never able to put it into words like that! ... she totally encourages me to be as she puts it "pook like" as often as I can. Being this way has really helped me help her with her emotional PMS as i no longer feed into her drama nor feel desperate or needy any longer ... which defuses her rather quickly as MY energy becomes the dominant force and usually whatever I am feeling wears off on the family house hold and becomes the major emotional state of the home. Great right? YEs it is ...
So .. the helpful advice? Well .. some of you may think its AFC ... but this site called www.marriagebuilders.com combined with the DJ bible ... and some dog whispering techniques (being calm assertive) has made my marriage the best ever especially after finding out that I was demasculated and really just generally unmanly. (So now I hunt with my 14yo daughter .. for the past few years its great!)
At first I thought marriage builders was the key to my marriage success (it fixed 90% of my issues in our marriage but i was still a needy nervous wreck and that took this past year to figure out ... even with my wife that i had been with for almost 20 years wtf lol) ... so MB has greatly contributed to my marriage success and turned around some emotional affairs that were brewing with other people between the both of us (we were glued to our PCs 24/7 playing stupid online RPGs) .. and living totally seperate lives in the games and had totally seperate "friends".... turns out online games and friends of the opposite sex on the net are very destructive to marriages! Go figure... lol Online games are a waste of time .. a breeding ground for emotional affairs ...
So yeah ... thats a bit about me. If ya got any questions ... shoot away. Fricken so glad I found this site Thank you .. thank you .. it has saved me many more years of being AFC and helped me recognize what it was I was doing wrong .. combine that with the tools over on the marriage builders site .. and man ... im a happy fricken camper and so is my wife. She has that sparkle in her eyes again .. and can hardly keep her hands off me now. Its like we just started dating again.
So you married guys out there ... if your having a hard time still in your marriage .. head over to that marriage builders site. You will find some very useful info to add to your tool box.
Epi
edit to fix minor detail
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