SnatchJP
Senior Don Juan
This doesn't just work with girls, this works with ALL people and social situations. I'm going to teach you how to use something actors call "status".
Let me walk you through a quick exercise.
I'm assuming you're sitting down. Here's what I want you to do:
Start to slouch. Hunch over a bit. Play with your clothing, and fidget a bit. Point your toes inward or cross you legs and sort of draw into yourself. Look around, and when you do, don't move your eyes, move your whole head. And do it quickly too. If you make any eye contact whatsoever, drop it immediately. Think that you are uncomfortable with your surroundings, and concentrate on yourself and what people think of you.
This is a basic way of playing a "low-status" character. These are the underlings, the downtrodden, the little comic relief people.
Now switch back to how you normally sit. I'm going to take you through the opposite end of the spectrum:
Start by sitting up straight, but then relax. Lean back a little, make yourself comfortable, if that means sticking with good posture, stick with good posture. If it doesn't, don’t. Let your shoulders fall back a bit and keep you head up. Open your posture to the world, and don't fidget or move around unless you have to. Look around, slowly, moving your eyes instead of your head. If you have to move your head to see something, do it slowly and in a relaxed manner. And remember to keep your head up. Think that you own this place and everyone in it. Analyze and mentally criticize or praise others, focus on the world around you. When you make eye contact, examine the eyes until they other person drops the contact.
That's the basics for High-status. These are the generals, the big bad boss-men, the kings and lords.
Now, I'm sure most of you are thinking "Okay so the lesson is to act high status and not low status. I got that already, but thanks." But no, there is a bit more to it than that.
Let me tell you a story.
A friend of my improv teacher's (a professional actor) was looking for a job in L.A. He decided to try a little experiment.
First he went to interviews and used all the tricks he knew to make his status lower than who he was being interviewed by. (The thought being that he would look like someone who would be easy to direct by a superior and who wouldn't rebel on the set.)
He didn't get a single call back.
He decided that the low status thing made him look incompetent so for the next few interviews, he switched to having a higher status than his interviewers, making him look like someone who is generally wanted, and someone who is confident and good at what he does.
He did slightly better, but still didn't have much luck. Apparently he looked competent, but also arrogant and potentially difficult to work with.
So finally he tried something different.
The next few interviews, he started out normal and closely observed the status of his interviewer, but instead of trying to act below or above it, he tried to match it as best as he could. With the nervous -looking ones who fidgeted, he acted nervous and started fidgeting. With the ultra-relaxed, he relaxed himself and held eye contact.
Every single interviewer called him back offering him the jobs he wanted. Did you get that? Every. Single. One.
All his interviewers said they felt and connection with him and instantly liked him. They said they could relate somehow, without even trying. Like they had something in common.
They did. They shared the same status.
The moral of the story is: if you want to make a good impression and get someone to like you, observe his or her status and match it. Watch how they hold themselves, how they look around, how they handle eye contact, and use it to figure out their relative status. Once you know that, match it with your own actions. It'll be a little weird at first, but once you pick it up, it works wonders.
Let me walk you through a quick exercise.
I'm assuming you're sitting down. Here's what I want you to do:
Start to slouch. Hunch over a bit. Play with your clothing, and fidget a bit. Point your toes inward or cross you legs and sort of draw into yourself. Look around, and when you do, don't move your eyes, move your whole head. And do it quickly too. If you make any eye contact whatsoever, drop it immediately. Think that you are uncomfortable with your surroundings, and concentrate on yourself and what people think of you.
This is a basic way of playing a "low-status" character. These are the underlings, the downtrodden, the little comic relief people.
Now switch back to how you normally sit. I'm going to take you through the opposite end of the spectrum:
Start by sitting up straight, but then relax. Lean back a little, make yourself comfortable, if that means sticking with good posture, stick with good posture. If it doesn't, don’t. Let your shoulders fall back a bit and keep you head up. Open your posture to the world, and don't fidget or move around unless you have to. Look around, slowly, moving your eyes instead of your head. If you have to move your head to see something, do it slowly and in a relaxed manner. And remember to keep your head up. Think that you own this place and everyone in it. Analyze and mentally criticize or praise others, focus on the world around you. When you make eye contact, examine the eyes until they other person drops the contact.
That's the basics for High-status. These are the generals, the big bad boss-men, the kings and lords.
Now, I'm sure most of you are thinking "Okay so the lesson is to act high status and not low status. I got that already, but thanks." But no, there is a bit more to it than that.
Let me tell you a story.
A friend of my improv teacher's (a professional actor) was looking for a job in L.A. He decided to try a little experiment.
First he went to interviews and used all the tricks he knew to make his status lower than who he was being interviewed by. (The thought being that he would look like someone who would be easy to direct by a superior and who wouldn't rebel on the set.)
He didn't get a single call back.
He decided that the low status thing made him look incompetent so for the next few interviews, he switched to having a higher status than his interviewers, making him look like someone who is generally wanted, and someone who is confident and good at what he does.
He did slightly better, but still didn't have much luck. Apparently he looked competent, but also arrogant and potentially difficult to work with.
So finally he tried something different.
The next few interviews, he started out normal and closely observed the status of his interviewer, but instead of trying to act below or above it, he tried to match it as best as he could. With the nervous -looking ones who fidgeted, he acted nervous and started fidgeting. With the ultra-relaxed, he relaxed himself and held eye contact.
Every single interviewer called him back offering him the jobs he wanted. Did you get that? Every. Single. One.
All his interviewers said they felt and connection with him and instantly liked him. They said they could relate somehow, without even trying. Like they had something in common.
They did. They shared the same status.
The moral of the story is: if you want to make a good impression and get someone to like you, observe his or her status and match it. Watch how they hold themselves, how they look around, how they handle eye contact, and use it to figure out their relative status. Once you know that, match it with your own actions. It'll be a little weird at first, but once you pick it up, it works wonders.
