Amused Mastery Backfiring

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Don Juan
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Gf throwing **** tests, being amused about it is giving her the impression that its acceptable.

She said it was good night with me. I jokingly said nah with a wink, she knew I was joking. Hugged and kissed her.

Text me today and said oi you nob, am I going to see you soon?

How to play this?
 

alpha_ash

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PLAYED said:
Gf throwing **** tests, being amused about it is giving her the impression that its acceptable.

She said it was good night with me. I jokingly said nah with a wink, she knew I was joking. Hugged and kissed her.

Text me today and said oi you nob, am I going to see you soon?

How to play this?
Tell her: say "i want to see you" and you might.
 

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Don Juan
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alpha_ash said:
Tell her: say "i want to see you" and you might.
That just shows im effected by her comment. I can't have her like this else I'm going to lose attraction for her.
 

DonJuanabe

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You're not supposed to give her the impression that her shyt tests are acceptable.
 

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Don Juan
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DonJuanabe said:
You're not supposed to give her the impression that her shyt tests are acceptable.
I know that, I can't help but give her less attention when she acts up. Though ignoring her text until she accepts she done wrong is not the way to go about it as i wont be able to see her after for 2 weeks. It seems to be a bit harsh.

What's your opinion to resolve this.
 

DonJuanabe

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I don't know what is going on with you and your girl, or whatever 2 weeks of not seeing her is all about.

She doesn't have to accept that she has done wrong -- at least she isn't going to tell you she has done wrong. You simply have to maintain the frame so you both understand, implicitly, that her shyt tests are bouncing off you like bullets bouncing off Hobbs (many on this site will not "get" this reference).

Her: "Am I going to see you soon?"
You: "How about we both keep our eyes closed and just feel each other instead..."

or

Her: "Am I going to see you soon?"
You: "Hmm, I'm not sure you're going to want to because you've been a very bad girl and I'm going to have to take you over my knee and spank you..."
Her: "How have I been bad?"
You: ";)"
Her: "What, what?"
Then you go NC.
 

Aristippus

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I didn't quite understand everything that you wrote but I'll answer your question. There's no reason to pretend you're amused with a woman's disrespect or bad behavior. If a woman disrespects you here's the attitude you need to have.

She disrespected me and there's not a dam* thing funny about it. I have high standards for my own behavior and I have the same standards of behavior for the people I invite into my life.

Then you give her a chance and if she violates your standards too much and too often, you drop her like the bad habit she is. If she behaves herself, then she's welcome to continue spending time with you.

Never brush her garbage under the rug. You either address it, or if it's a minor transgression and it's already long passed, you can ignore it ONCE. Small transgressions repeated over and over become patterns of bad behavior and disrespect. That's when you put your foot down. She either shapes up or ships out. This applies to every woman.
 

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Don Juan
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DonJuanabe said:
I don't know what is going on with you and your girl, or whatever 2 weeks of not seeing her is all about.

She doesn't have to accept that she has done wrong -- at least she isn't going to tell you she has done wrong. You simply have to maintain the frame so you both understand, implicitly, that her shyt tests are bouncing off you like bullets bouncing off Hobbs (many on this site will not "get" this reference).

Her: "Am I going to see you soon?"
You: "How about we both keep our eyes closed and just feel each other instead..."

or

Her: "Am I going to see you soon?"
You: "Hmm, I'm not sure you're going to want to because you've been a very bad girl and I'm going to have to take you over my knee and spank you..."
Her: "How have I been bad?"
You: ";)"
Her: "What, what?"
Then you go NC.
I wont be able to see her as im off for 2 weeks as i have project at work coming up. If i don't see her and go NC.

Her saying "Am i going to see you soon?" Does not bother me its that she texted "Oi nobhead" that is the problem.

I texted her last time to invite her which she did agree too saying "B1tch you can stay mine tonight" so thats why she has texted "Oi nobhead, am i going too see you soon". My fault i agree.

I don't know how the replies you gave will turn this around. To stop her from doing this?

My options
Go NC and don't see her (which is a bad scenario as we are in R/H)
Reply: "I want too see you" then i mite do (directly making it clear its not acceptable and show its effected me)

The fact is she is just playing but its a slippery slope from here if play this off. She will then think its acceptable to call me names and get away with it as she did before, so why would it change. She has been a good gf so far but its reaching the point where she now starting to "feel" me out, to what she can get away with. Me saying B1tch to her has given her that opening to say it.

Just want a way to indirectly make it known to her this is not acceptable.

So advice on how to do this, without backfiring on me as she is just mirroring me
 
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Aristippus

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"Just want a way to indirectly make it known to her this is not acceptable"

Don't be indirect. Be direct. Tell her you don't like it when she calls you names even if she's just playing. That it's disrespectful. That you let it slide a few times but you don't like it and won't let it slide any more. If she gets defensive and acts like she can't comprehend what you're saying just tell her that she doesn't have to understand why. That you don't like it and that's a good enough reason. Bottom line. No further explanation needed. (Yeah, use those words when talking to her. "Bottom line. I simply don't like it. No further explanation needed. Are we clear?")
 

Purefilth

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Sounds like she has a sense of humor, and is engaging a little banter. You are being far too sensitive.

How long have you known her?

Im guessing this is her nature to ball bust, and you're fresh in this relationship and didnt notice to start off.

CHILL THE F U C K OUT!
 
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