Am I throwing away opportunities?

[aner]

Hey guys, I'm new. I've been reading the site for the past few years, and a lot of the advice really works.

Anyway, I'll be graduating undergrad next year, and I want to go to graduate school to get my Ph.D., which is a notoriously poor and lonely five or six years. Meanwhile, my friends are going to be ibankers and lawyers, and they'll be frequenting bars, partying, vacationing in Costa Rica, picking up girls, and though they'll be working long hours, they'll live a comfortable yuppie lifestyle. Unfortunately, I won't be able to afford that or keep up with them as a poor grad student, and they never cease to (jokingly) point this out to me.

Now I know it's possible to meet women no matter where you are provided you know what you're doing, but by going into academia am I throwing away awesome opportunities to meet interesting, attractive women (not to mention a good income)? It might seem stupid to give up a passion for this, but I would not mind going into law or finance if it means I enjoy a much better social life and a better dating scene.

I don't want to to sit in an ivory tower for the rest of my days. But I also don't want to regret not pursuing an important goal.

Anyone have any perspective or experience with this? Thanks. (I apologize if this should be in 'Anything Else')

 

[Halloween]

I was a grad student.

I won't talk about the pros/cons outside the dating world, because you've already weighed them to make your choice (which I applaud, btw).

I think you're overestimating corporate life. You'd be lucky if you even work with two or three people who are the same age as you, let alone be socially compatibile with you. Take it from me, it can f*cking suck. The only thing that will "hurt" you is the reduced income.

Frequenting bars? expensive. Vacationing in Costa Rica? Expensive. But partying? Cheap. Picking up girls? Cheap.

Now, the grad school experience.

First, you aren't throwing away awesome opportunities to meet attractive women... there are very smart, very sexy women in academia, and depending upon your field the ratio may be very much in your favor.

These women have also chosen a similar life path to you, which makes them like-minded, probably within your age range, and intelligent (ugh. I just j!zzed in my pants).

Grad student societies often host social events, which can expose you to all kinds of women.

(Just be careful. Dating fellow grad students, especially those in your same area, can be equivalent to dating co-workers, so the same cautions apply).

As a final note, the fact that you're pursuing something that you're actually PASSIONATE about is a very attractive thing! Whatever you do, don't hide it from girls. People with boring jobs can't use their jobs as a topic to build *emotional* attraction with a girl (and that's all that's important imo), but you can.

Play your cards right and your pals working day jobs will be asking you if they can come to your parties.

 

[Bossman08]

Follow your dreams. Everyone has women. Bill Gates has a woman and so does the janitor at my office. Focus on what's important to you, women will always be there. They are not going to stop making them. What sort of man derails his dreams for the chance of chasing women?

 

[Duffdog]

Excellent post halloween.

Doing what you want to do because you are passionate about it is very attractive...to any female. Don't think corporate life is awesome-- yes, they pay you a lot. But big deal, I sit alone in my office most of the day and can't wait for the day to end because my job is so unchallenging. The worst part about corporate life is that you must be fake to succeed. You cannot lose your cool or fall out of doublespeak in a board meeting. You can never "just be yourself." I imagine that fact alone accounts for the reason that people pursue lives in academia.

Not to mention, last weekend I was out having fun downtown and saw the sales dept. drunk off their ass and falling into a taxi. Unfortunately, I got to see that they were mostly all losers in real life. I looked at them and thought: " I really work with a bunch of lonely AFC's that can't get a girl? You guys suck!" But, I said: "You guys look like your having a good night! Meet any hot girls?"

Chumps are chumps, no matter how they are dressed.

 

[aner]

Thanks guys--I think you're right. In retrospect, rethinking my career options for girls seems pretty desperate and pathetic anyway