Am I supposed to want sex every day?

[TonyJ78]

For most of the advice in the manosphere, sex seems to be the end game. Lots and lots of sex, whenever and however you want it. While that seems cool to a point, I've never (and I mean, NEVER, even when I was a teenager) been one of those guys that wanted to have sex every day. Once or twice a week has always been good for me. So the issue I'm having is that the books I've read so far in this space plus most of the advice in these forums and similar sites assumes that sex is the most important thing in a relationship and you need to be banging constantly or always bringing it up with your woman in order for both of you to be happy. I'm a pretty healthy guy - I lift weights, do cardio, have my diet on track, get plenty of sleep and take a handful of good supplements - but this just doesn't sound appealing. Granted I have a very busy schedule, but in my free time there are tons of things I like to do, and sex isn't always on the top of that list. I do want a relationship with a healthy sex life but sex is probably the second or third most important thing to me in a romantic relationship, if that. Is this really supposed to be the focal point of a relationship? And if so, is there something wrong with me for not having that kind of appetite? Serious question here.

On the other hand, if there is nothing wrong with me and this is a normal thing - how do I reconcile the advice is this space and apply it toward meeting women?

TLDR - Is there something wrong with me if my sex drive doesn't seem to be as high as most 'healthy' males?

 

[Konada]

The forum uses sex as an indicator of the woman's interest level in you.

Whether you want to fvck a woman 2 time, 3 times daily is another subject.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

If you can have good sex everyday then sure. I find that 2 to 3 times a week is good when in a relationship, but sometimes we go 2-3 times per day and it doesn't stop being good. If I'm really into a chick & know her already for a whole my sex drive goes much higher. When single and having random sex without "feelings" I'm not as interested.

Given your sleep & workout I'm guessing your T levels aren't to worry and probably normal for your age. The way you can look at it is: you're not desperate for sex so, on a date, you have more power.

Don't overthink it. Find a chick that gets you hard 3 times a day.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

OP, I cannot relate, but I can imagine that people like you exist. One thing you may want to do is to do a full male hormone panel.just for peace of mind. Have you ever? I’m in my 50’s and will happily bang 2-3x a day and I’m not talking about quickies. I’ve been this way my whole life.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

For most of the advice in the manosphere, sex seems to be the end game. Lots and lots of sex, whenever and however you want it. While that seems cool to a point, I've never (and I mean, NEVER, even when I was a teenager) been one of those guys that wanted to have sex every day. Once or twice a week has always been good for me. So the issue I'm having is that the books I've read so far in this space plus most of the advice in these forums and similar sites assumes that sex is the most important thing in a relationship and you need to be banging constantly or always bringing it up with your woman in order for both of you to be happy. I'm a pretty healthy guy - I lift weights, do cardio, have my diet on track, get plenty of sleep and take a handful of good supplements - but this just doesn't sound appealing. Granted I have a very busy schedule, but in my free time there are tons of things I like to do, and sex isn't always on the top of that list. I do want a relationship with a healthy sex life but sex is probably the second or third most important thing to me in a romantic relationship, if that. Is this really supposed to be the focal point of a relationship? And if so, is there something wrong with me for not having that kind of appetite? Serious question here.

On the other hand, if there is nothing wrong with me and this is a normal thing - how do I reconcile the advice is this space and apply it toward meeting women?

TLDR - Is there something wrong with me if my sex drive doesn't seem to be as high as most 'healthy' males?

All I have to say it that you as a dude were...

So yes, in my opinion it is normal and healthy.

 

[Bingo-Player]

In my late teens and early 20's i probably could have smashed anything day in day out and at some stages was fvcking a new chick every week

As ive gotten older and made it to 30 that desire has definitely been usurped by other priorities the main being a peaceful life and trying to build businesses

Sex is fun but imo the build up has always been more rewarding for me , the act itself can sometimes be anti climatic especially if she is boring

If she is a naughty girl then obviously that is a different story.....

Depends on the girl now i guess

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'd get your T levels checked

 

[SW15]

I'd get your T levels checked

Agree

 

[Dr.Suave]

Get checked for peace of mind but you probably good. Just be sure to settle with a girl with a similar sex drive, or else its misserable.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The forum uses sex as an indicator of the woman's interest level in you.

Whether you want to fvck a woman 2 time, 3 times daily is another subject.

We have to tie the metric of interest to sexual desire in the female. ANY female can be interested enough in a man to waste his time and not want anything more to do with him. You don't have to have sex with her daily, it's just that you can.

 

[darksprezzatura]

There's a difference between being an addict and having a healthy libido. If you're spinning plates and getting laid a few times a week, I'd say you're alright.

Funny how people invest so much time and energy into it, considering mostly it has no end result except instant gratification.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I do not know if that is normal or not. If you do not have depressive symptoms, social anxiety, etc, then it's probably fair to rule out low T. Do you watch much porn? If your answer to that is also no, then you, like me, may just have a naturally low sex drive. Personally, I am content to only have sex, or even fap, a 1-3x a month, if that.

The one thing that frustrates me about this is that women refuse to believe guys like us can exist. They have been programmed to assume all men are sex hounds. As such, many women may interpret our lack of interest in sex as a lack of attraction towards them, which just doesn't go over too well.

For anyone suggesting he has his T levels checked: I had my free T levels checked and they were over 1000 ng/DL, but, I'm doing more bloodwork in couple weeks to be sure. Doctors are pretty much worthless about that though, you need to see a specialist that actually understands in mens hormones: things like LH, SHBG, prolactin, etc because these all fit into the picture as well.

 

[MatureDJ]

There's a difference between being an addict and having a healthy libido. If you're spinning plates and getting laid a few times a week, I'd say you're alright.

Then I must be NOT alright.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Here are the acceptable testosterone levels for men by age group.

1. Children: The first couple of months, a male baby should produce 75-400 ng/dL. By the time he’s 10 to 11 years old, that should change to 7-130 ng/dL.
2. Early Teens: Between 12 to 13 years old, a person should have 7-800 ng/dL. But by 15 to 16 years old, the ng/dL should be 100-1,200.
3. Late Teens: Anyone between 17 to 18 years old should have testosterone levels between 300 and 1,200 ng/dL.
4. Adults: An adult (19 years and older) should have anywhere between 240 and 950 ng/dL

Depending on your age you may be doing just fine. What it boils down to is how you feel and do you wake up with mahogany. And note the huge spread for normal…

I do not know if that is normal or not. If you do not have depressive symptoms, social anxiety, etc, then it's probably fair to rule out low T. Do you watch much porn? If your answer to that is also no, then you, like me, may just have a naturally low sex drive. Personally, I am content to only have sex, or even fap, a 1-3x a month, if that.

The one thing that frustrates me about this is that women refuse to believe guys like us can exist. They have been programmed to assume all men are sex hounds. As such, many women may interpret our lack of interest in sex as a lack of attraction towards them, which just doesn't go over too well.

For anyone suggesting he has his T levels checked: I had my free T levels checked and they were over 1000 ng/DL, but, I'm doing more bloodwork in couple weeks to be sure. Doctors are pretty much worthless about that though, you need to see a specialist that actually understands in mens hormones: things like LH, SHBG, prolactin, etc because these all fit into the picture as well.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Here are the acceptable testosterone levels for men by age group.

1. Children: The first couple of months, a male baby should produce 75-400 ng/dL. By the time he’s 10 to 11 years old, that should change to 7-130 ng/dL.
2. Early Teens: Between 12 to 13 years old, a person should have 7-800 ng/dL. But by 15 to 16 years old, the ng/dL should be 100-1,200.
3. Late Teens: Anyone between 17 to 18 years old should have testosterone levels between 300 and 1,200 ng/dL.
4. Adults: An adult (19 years and older) should have anywhere between 240 and 950 ng/dL

Depending on your age you may be doing just fine. What it boils down to is how you feel and do you wake up with mahogany. And note the huge spread for normal…

Free T levels in and of themselves don't mean much, although if they're very low that's not a good sign. You have to cross reference it with albumin, SHBG, total T, bioavailable T, estrogen, prolactin, LH, FSH, DHT, and others to get the full picture, and even then you need to have multiple tests over time.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Free T levels in and of themselves don't mean much, although if they're very low that's not a good sign. You have to cross-reference it with albumin, SHBG, total T, bioavailable T, estrogen, prolactin, LH, FSH, DHT, and others to get the full picture, and even then you need to have multiple tests over time.

You are correct, but one cannot emphasize enough the need for there to be FreetT as a baseline. In general FreeT, e2, SHBG are the most important, the other bloodwork starts mattering more once you start digging for the more complex source of hypogonadism. Specifically also albumin.

Here’s a resource for those interested in hormone levels:

Free & Bioavailable Testosterone calculator

 

[RobbyDog]

I do not know if that is normal or not. If you do not have depressive symptoms, social anxiety, etc, then it's probably fair to rule out low T. Do you watch much porn? If your answer to that is also no, then you, like me, may just have a naturally low sex drive. Personally, I am content to only have sex, or even fap, a 1-3x a month, if that.

The one thing that frustrates me about this is that women refuse to believe guys like us can exist. They have been programmed to assume all men are sex hounds. As such, many women may interpret our lack of interest in sex as a lack of attraction towards them, which just doesn't go over too well.

For anyone suggesting he has his T levels checked: I had my free T levels checked and they were over 1000 ng/DL, but, I'm doing more bloodwork in couple weeks to be sure. Doctors are pretty much worthless about that though, you need to see a specialist that actually understands in mens hormones: things like LH, SHBG, prolactin, etc because these all fit into the picture as well.

I thought I was an outlier with being perfectly content to “only” have sex a few times a week.

When you do have sex, can you nut multiple times? For me, once I blow I lose all interest for at least several hours if not a day. I’ve never understood the guys who can blow say four times within the span of a couple hours.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I thought I was an outlier with being perfectly content to “only” have sex a few times a week.

When you do have sex, can you nut multiple times? For me, once I blow I lose all interest for at least several hours if not a day. I’ve never understood the guys who can blow say four times within the span of a couple hours.

I technically can more than once in a given night, but very rarely do. The girl would need to do all the work afterwards.

I remember one girl I was seeing, she was pretty hot, great sex. One night, we banged (without a condom) and about 30 minutes later we started again. Halfway through, I literally stopped in the middle of ****ing her from behind and completely lost interest (and no, I didn't lose my rod). Same thing happened with a 19 year old I was with not long ago.

If I bang at night it's rare for me to even want sex the next morning, unless she stays until the afternoon. I do like afternoon sex, I must admit.

Sex does nothing to me most of the time. It honestly is such a hindrance, quite simply not sexually exciting in the bedroom b/c I just do not care. Although.... I can make a girl nut from eating her out in about 5 min.

 

[TonyJ78]

I thought I was an outlier with being perfectly content to “only” have sex a few times a week.

When you do have sex, can you nut multiple times? For me, once I blow I lose all interest for at least several hours if not a day. I’ve never understood the guys who can blow say four times within the span of a couple hours.

I can do it more than once but it's going to take a lot longer the second time. And usually I just don't really have the interest to do it more than once in a day. If I was drinking the night before and then had sex that night, I'm usually ready to go again the next day for some reason. Other than that two or three times a week is more than enough for me

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I thought I was an outlier with being perfectly content to “only” have sex a few times a week.

When you do have sex, can you nut multiple times? For me, once I blow I lose all interest for at least several hours if not a day. I’ve never understood the guys who can blow say four times within the span of a couple hours.

Sometimes I only stay down for a minute or two and am ready to go again...this can repeat multiple times but as I usually last at least an hour if not longer, it can turn into a marathon.