Am I reading to much into this?

[dennisjr2222]

Hey DJ's, I was wondering if I could pick your brains for a sec. About 4 months ago, I met this girl that was very interested in me. Texted me all the time, invited me over for movies, etc. At the time I wasn't interested in her (I was just getting over a break up). However, she made if very clear she was interested so to not lead her on I said lets just be friends for now. She was actually really cool and still wanted to hang out. As time went by and we continued to hang out as friends, I started to like her. About 2 weeks ago, we started holding hands and what not. That was right before she left for vacation, from which she is getting back in 2 days. The problem that I'm running into is she hasn't texted or called me once during this time. I've sent her a couple texts with no response so I just backed off. Am I reading too much into this? Is that normal for girls to just forget about a guy they just started a relationship with? I know it sounds like a dumb question.. and probably the best way to know is just wait till she gets back, which what other choice do I have, but just wondering your guys opinion on this scenerio? Thanks

 

[Effington]

Well, it doesn't sound like you two have "started a relationship", but yes, you're definitely reading too much into it.

I would strongly advise against the use of texting at this stage in the game. I'd say the best route is to call and keep conversations brief, to making plans. If you are into her, then the next time you two are out, make a move! Most women won't make the first move, so if you don't, it won't ever happen.

If she doesn't answer your call, leave a message. I try to keep the calls to a 1:1 ratio; how often do you hear girls ragging on other guys for calling all the time? Besides, if she doesn't return your phone calls, she probably isn't interested. Don't worry about what happens on her vacation.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Take a break from her psychologically. I've read and experienced how these girls can give mixed messages, but honestly, you don't know what other guy(s) she is dealing with or if some stranger swept her feet off the ground - the question you have to ask yourself is if it would bother you if that scenerio happened.

If it doesn't, (worst case scenerio), then there is nothing to worry about.

If it does, then maybe you are too invested on this emotionally and are setting yourself up for heartbreak.

Some women can really go from hot to cold in an eyelash.

 

[EFFORT]

relax man shes on vacation, she'll get back to you.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

relax man shes on vacation, she'll get back to you.

But you still cant trust a girl 100%. Seems like she's taking a vacation from him too by not returning his texts ... not a good sign.

 

[GitFiddler]

There is no relationship, so there is nothing to trust. She is free to do whatever and whoever she wants, until a commitment is established. Holding hands means nothing. Two girlfriends will do more than that with each other, and it's no big deal.

She wont bring her vacation back with her, so dont worry about it. Take a vacation yourself for a couple days.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

There is no relationship, so there is nothing to trust. She is free to do whatever and whoever she wants, until a commitment is established.

You know what -- that's exactly the thing, there is nothing to trust. But if she lessens her own value to the prospect (i.e. catching an STD from another guy on vacation, becoming jaded about guys, etc...) then there is a problem there too, because the OP is also evaluating whether or not he wants to commit to her and right now provides a testing ground to see if she is quality girlfriend or even friendship material, or if she's another worthless
wh0re.

Holding hands means nothing. Two girlfriends will do more than that with each other, and it's no big deal.

Yeah, you can say that again.

She wont bring her vacation back with her, so dont worry about it. Take a vacation yourself for a couple days.

...and make sure you get her STD tested to make sure she doesn't bring anything back from that vacation with her if you get intimate. That's one part of the vacation you wont want.

 

[EFFORT]

You know what -- that's exactly the thing, there is nothing to trust. But if she lessens her own value to the prospect (i.e. catching an STD from another guy on vacation, becoming jaded about guys, etc...) then there is a problem there too, because the OP is also evaluating whether or not he wants to commit to her and right now provides a testing ground to see if she is quality girlfriend or even friendship material, or if she's another worthless
wh0re.

This is how guys that don't get laid talk, walking around with a chip on there shoulder towards women since they can't get any. Calling them *****s etc.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

This is how guys that don't get laid talk, walking around with a chip on there shoulder towards women since they can't get any. Calling them *****s etc.

If you are cool with a girl that you are interested in sleeping with other guys and disrespecting you, then that's fine. But you cant say that there is no possibility that it could happen here and this guy should trust this girl with his life.

I'm dealing with this post based on the facts and have no vested interest in the outcome other than cautioning the OP to take this girl with a grain of salt. The other side is being the doormat that will let a woman walk all over him, cheat on him, and still suck up to her.

I've also said two other options, if she doesn't sleep with anyone there, than she's possible girlfriend material, but if that's a scenerio (a girl you are interested in you've never slept with, but went on a vacation to sleep with someone else) you are comfortable with, then your standards are your own standards.

 

[dennisjr2222]

Well, it doesn't sound like you two have "started a relationship", but yes, you're definitely reading too much into it.

Yeah, thank you guys. I'm sure I'm just thinking about it too much. Yes it's true we don't have an established relationship yet, unfortunately she left right before I could make my move.. I was just wondering if thats normal to see if I should continue persuing her. You guys did a great job bringing things back into perspective. Thanks!

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

You are not over reading into this. You are over analyzing this.

 

[Mavrick]

If it's not a test to see what you can put up with, you might as well treat it as one. If you start acting obsessive (which you are) you'll truly lose her. If you start acting possessive (which you are) you'll put out the spark.

I don't want to say to be strong because strength isn't what you need; even though, you are weak. What you need is a new mindset. Your mind in spinning with thoughts as to why she hasn't contacted you, but what you should be doing is thanking her that she gives you freedom and time to go whatever it is that you enjoy. No woman wants a man that waits for her call or wonders where she is. If she, or any other woman, knew that you sat around wondering where she was and why she didn't call, she'd be turned off. Girls don't like guys like that. You've got her on some throne with a sepulcher and a diamond studded crown when all she is a girl. That's it. It's all in your mind.

So, change your mindset and tell yourself that she's lucky to have a guy like you. You're too busy for her phone calls anyway, and thank God she hasn't bugged you. Then when she does call, punish her by not answering. Then when she calls again, answer, but tell her you're busy, and you'll call her back when you get a chance. Don't be such a schmuck. You don't even have to say anything about it, but you must inadvertently start playing the game or it will be game over.

Let your actions speak for you because it displays strength. Using words are for the weak. Don't complain and don't ask questions. Reward and punish through action.

Good luck, Bro!

 

[dennisjr2222]

Mavrick, you are the man! Thanks again. I agree with all you said... I am somewhat new at this, but learning fast.