Am I Leading Her On?

[TheNewStyle123]

Hi Gentlemen.

Question for you guys. I am recently separated (divorce should be finalized in January) and I have been using the dating apps for about 2 weeks now. I went on a date last Monday and ended up going home with a girl and fvucking. I am CERTAINLY not ready for a relationship, so I knew I would want to continue to see other girls while spinning this plate (in fact we have plans this Friday).

I ended up matching on hinge with my friend's coworker's step-daughter (I'll let you digest that for a second). She is my age and I am VERY attracted to her. I had recently added her on Instagram (definitely wanting to get the hook up some where down the line) and we ended up messaging back and forth on instagram about meeting when I started to work at my friend's gym part time (where her step-mother also works). Again, this girl is 27 and can make her own decisions, so I am not worried about starting to work part time (1 day/week) with her step-mom.

After I matched with her on hinge we continued to message more and went out with my friend and her sister this past Saturday when my friend was up visiting. We had made prior plans to get together tonight for drinks and ended up going. At dinner we were definitely flirting and ended up touching hands/running fingers up and down each others arms. After dinner I walked her to her car and we made out. We then went into her car and continued to make out. After a few minutes she looked at me seductively and said "I like you." To which I replied "I like you too."

We kept making out and she nervously said it again later (not sure if she was just really nervous and filling the space by saying something or was trying to test me again), but this time I replied "I had a really fun time with you tonight." After making out and touching more I said I had to go (I knew we weren't going back to her place based on a prior convo), so told her I would see her again and kissed her goodbye. We joked earlier in the night about me making her dinner. When I was leaving she asked "so, when will I see you next?", to which I replied "how about this weekend when I make you dinner?" She accepted the offer. I know if I get this girl over to my place and make her dinner it's game over.

Afterwards she texted me "Thank you again for dinner! I had a great time (kiss emoji)"

ME: "Me too (her name)! Can't wait for next time "

HER: See you soon (heart eyes emoji) goodnight."

ME: Goodnight

---

My QUESTIONS:

1.) Did I do the right thing? As mentioned, I am new to the dating again after being recently separated. I am trying to spin multiple plates and keep my options open while remaining covert. I am worried that this girl may already like me a lot, but is that necessarily a bad thing? I said "I like you" and that I liked hanging out with her. I did NOT say I wanted a relationship or that I was looking for a relationship, and she knows about my divorce. I am balancing a fine line between keeping this girl interested enough to bang (which I sincerely want to), vs. giving her full disclosure and drying her up. Which leads to my second question.

2.) How do I continue to pull this off without giving full disclosure? I realize I need to be honest with this girl too. For one, she's very nice and deserves that, and secondly, I will be working part time with her step mom. I would love to continue spin this plate but I am new to balancing the line between telling a girl everything vs. being covert but honest.

3.) Should I just flat out bring up the topic of me being recently divorced and not looking for anything serious, but still wanting to hang out with her this weekend? Or let my behaviors suggest that, and wait for HER to ask me.

Thank you tremendously gentlemen.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hi Gentlemen.

Question for you guys. I am recently separated (divorce should be finalized in January) and I have been using the dating apps for about 2 weeks now. I went on a date last Monday and ended up going home with a girl and fvucking. I am CERTAINLY not ready for a relationship, so I knew I would want to continue to see other girls while spinning this plate (in fact we have plans this Friday).

I ended up matching on hinge with my friend's coworker's step-daughter (I'll let you digest that for a second). She is my age and I am VERY attracted to her. I had recently added her on Instagram (definitely wanting to get the hook up some where down the line) and we ended up messaging back and forth on instagram about meeting when I started to work at my friend's gym part time (where her step-mother also works). Again, this girl is 27 and can make her own decisions, so I am not worried about starting to work part time (1 day/week) with her step-mom.

After I matched with her on hinge we continued to message more and went out with my friend and her sister this past Saturday when my friend was up visiting. We had made prior plans to get together tonight for drinks and ended up going. At dinner we were definitely flirting and ended up touching hands/running fingers up and down each others arms. After dinner I walked her to her car and we made out. We then went into her car and continued to make out. After a few minutes she looked at me seductively and said "I like you." To which I replied "I like you too."

We kept making out and she nervously said it again later (not sure if she was just really nervous and filling the space by saying something or was trying to test me again), but this time I replied "I had a really fun time with you tonight." After making out and touching more I said I had to go (I knew we weren't going back to her place based on a prior convo), so told her I would see her again and kissed her goodbye. We joked earlier in the night about me making her dinner. When I was leaving she asked "so, when will I see you next?", to which I replied "how about this weekend when I make you dinner?" She accepted the offer. I know if I get this girl over to my place and make her dinner it's game over.

Afterwards she texted me "Thank you again for dinner! I had a great time (kiss emoji)"

ME: "Me too (her name)! Can't wait for next time "

HER: See you soon (heart eyes emoji) goodnight."

ME: Goodnight

---

My QUESTIONS:

1.) Did I do the right thing? As mentioned, I am new to the dating again after being recently separated. I am trying to spin multiple plates and keep my options open while remaining covert. I am worried that this girl may already like me a lot, but is that necessarily a bad thing? I said "I like you" and that I liked hanging out with her. I did NOT say I wanted a relationship or that I was looking for a relationship, and she knows about my divorce. I am balancing a fine line between keeping this girl interested enough to bang (which I sincerely want to), vs. giving her full disclosure and drying her up. Which leads to my second question.

2.) How do I continue to pull this off without giving full disclosure? I realize I need to be honest with this girl too. For one, she's very nice and deserves that, and secondly, I will be working part time with her step mom. I would love to continue spin this plate but I am new to balancing the line between telling a girl everything vs. being covert but honest.

3.) Should I just flat out bring up the topic of me being recently divorced and not looking for anything serious, but still wanting to hang out with her this weekend? Or let my behaviors suggest that, and wait for HER to ask me.

Thank you tremendously gentlemen.

It seems like this woman likes you enough to the point where you would have to make an inordinate amount of mistakes for you not to bang her, and even then you still might. In these cases, basically no matter what you do, it will work for a while, it's only once you get to the one or two month timeframe that if you are overly invested that you will start to see some pull away.

I'm not sure I would have set up the next date right away but again, she seems interested enough that it doesn't matter.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

It seems like this woman likes you enough to the point where you would have to make an inordinate amount of mistakes for you not to bang her. In these cases, basically no matter what you do, it will work for a while, it's only once you get to the one or two month timeframe that if you are overly invested that you will start to see some pull away.

I'm not sure I would have set up the next date right away but again, she seems interested enough that it doesn't matter.

Thanks buddy. Yeah, I was hesitant at first, but figured I am safe enough doing it because I have another date lined up this weekend (trying not to get ONEitis or be too available to one girl), and we had discussed it during the night while flirting.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

It seems like this woman likes you enough to the point where you would have to make an inordinate amount of mistakes for you not to bang her, and even then you still might. In these cases, basically no matter what you do, it will work for a while, it's only once you get to the one or two month timeframe that if you are overly invested that you will start to see some pull away.

I'm not sure I would have set up the next date right away but again, she seems interested enough that it doesn't matter.

Should I give full disclosure this weekend and just be honest and say I'm not looking for anything but would love to continue to see her/hook up?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Should I give full disclosure this weekend and just be honest and say I'm not looking for anything but would love to continue to see her/hook up?

No need to bring this up until she does. Why potentially ruin something when it is completely unnecessary to do so? Any of these topics should only be discussed if SHE brings it up and only if you want to tell her. Otherwise just agree and amplify and laugh it off.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Don't initiate the subject, but if she leads into it and you think that you have to respond...

You: "That's the thing I like about you. I could tell that you're an independent secure woman that doesn't rush a man or need one in your life. I like that about you."

Then go for a kiss before she can say anything else.

 

[jimwho]

She sounds a bit jumpy. Tell her your still married and need to decompress for a couple years. But only
If you have to. Have fun, she sounds great.

 

[Lookatu]

(I knew we weren't going back to her place based on a prior convo), so told her I would see her again and kissed her goodbye.

Don't place so much weight on everything a girl says. ALWAYS remember that or you'll limit yourself. I can't tell you how many gals told me they wouldn't sleep with me on the first date. LOL

My QUESTIONS:

1.) I am worried that this girl may already like me a lot, but is that necessarily a bad thing?
You're already too invested if you're thinking like that. Don't worry about those things. It's delusional to care so much these days too soon when dating is treated more like commoditized products where you can be replaced at any time. This type of thinking should only enter your mind after she's demonstrated herself to you and you have gone out awhile.

2.) How do I continue to pull this off without giving full disclosure?
You don't. Don't put the cart before the horse. You two don't owe each other anything right now until she's proven herself to you to be a serious LTR potential and right now it's too soon for that.

3.) Should I just flat out bring up the topic of me being recently divorced and not looking for anything serious, but still wanting to hang out with her this weekend?
No not at all. Things always start off casual and if things are right between two people, they can progress into something more serious over time. I don't care what people say about wanting to find a serious LTR, everyone has to start off casual first to see if things match up before getting serious. Everyone has to start with the basics first. Remember that. You can't just skip ahead from nothing to full blown serious LTR overnight. That's delusional thinking at best.

Look at my answers in bold above.

Dont' invest too much too soon. Let things play out and never initiate sharing too much info and let her initiate those convos. It's not for a man to start those or you'll find yourself being dumped or her losing interest.

 

[Glassguy]

After a few minutes she looked at me seductively and said "I like you." To which I replied "I like you too."

Afterwards she texted me "Thank you again for dinner! I had a great time (kiss emoji)"

ME: "Me too (her name)! Can't wait for next time "

HER: See you soon (heart eyes emoji) goodnight."

ME: Goodnight

I think you did ok, but it could come off as a little over eager to a lot of women. I would have responded to her "I like you" with either "I am interested in what the verdict says about you after our date" or something a little more mysterious that causes just a touch of anxiety.

The after text to me are an issue. I would have just said "Thanks for letting me know you made it home safely and I will let you know about this weekend" and then waited until LATER the next day or the following day to reach out (if you didnt hear from her before then). Again, dont show your cards too quickly.

I would have definitely avoided the emojis but that is just me.

Should I give full disclosure this weekend and just be honest and say I'm not looking for anything but would love to continue to see her/hook up?

No. Only bring it up if she asks and then just be straight forward and make in no big deal. Just be honest with her. My phrase ALWAYS works in your situation:
"I am not looking for anything super serious right away but I am open to it later on with the right person". I even tell them "I dont want to waste time with something that doesnt have potential either".

It covers all basis. Good luck

 

[r4zorsharp]

You got it with #3. That's just the right thing to do no matter what. If she doesn't want to play the game, she doesn't have to. It's her choice honestly. But as a man, you should tell her, because this can help prevent any problems occurring in the future as you gave her disclosure, so her emotions are her own responsibility.

Pce.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hi Gentlemen.

Question for you guys. I am recently separated (divorce should be finalized in January) and I have been using the dating apps for about 2 weeks now. I went on a date last Monday and ended up going home with a girl and fvucking. I am CERTAINLY not ready for a relationship, so I knew I would want to continue to see other girls while spinning this plate (in fact we have plans this Friday).

I ended up matching on hinge with my friend's coworker's step-daughter (I'll let you digest that for a second). She is my age and I am VERY attracted to her. I had recently added her on Instagram (definitely wanting to get the hook up some where down the line) and we ended up messaging back and forth on instagram about meeting when I started to work at my friend's gym part time (where her step-mother also works). Again, this girl is 27 and can make her own decisions, so I am not worried about starting to work part time (1 day/week) with her step-mom.

After I matched with her on hinge we continued to message more and went out with my friend and her sister this past Saturday when my friend was up visiting. We had made prior plans to get together tonight for drinks and ended up going. At dinner we were definitely flirting and ended up touching hands/running fingers up and down each others arms. After dinner I walked her to her car and we made out. We then went into her car and continued to make out. After a few minutes she looked at me seductively and said "I like you." To which I replied "I like you too."

We kept making out and she nervously said it again later (not sure if she was just really nervous and filling the space by saying something or was trying to test me again), but this time I replied "I had a really fun time with you tonight." After making out and touching more I said I had to go (I knew we weren't going back to her place based on a prior convo), so told her I would see her again and kissed her goodbye. We joked earlier in the night about me making her dinner. When I was leaving she asked "so, when will I see you next?", to which I replied "how about this weekend when I make you dinner?" She accepted the offer. I know if I get this girl over to my place and make her dinner it's game over.

Afterwards she texted me "Thank you again for dinner! I had a great time (kiss emoji)"

ME: "Me too (her name)! Can't wait for next time "

HER: See you soon (heart eyes emoji) goodnight."

ME: Goodnight

---

My QUESTIONS:

1.) Did I do the right thing? As mentioned, I am new to the dating again after being recently separated. I am trying to spin multiple plates and keep my options open while remaining covert. I am worried that this girl may already like me a lot, but is that necessarily a bad thing? I said "I like you" and that I liked hanging out with her. I did NOT say I wanted a relationship or that I was looking for a relationship, and she knows about my divorce. I am balancing a fine line between keeping this girl interested enough to bang (which I sincerely want to), vs. giving her full disclosure and drying her up. Which leads to my second question.

2.) How do I continue to pull this off without giving full disclosure? I realize I need to be honest with this girl too. For one, she's very nice and deserves that, and secondly, I will be working part time with her step mom. I would love to continue spin this plate but I am new to balancing the line between telling a girl everything vs. being covert but honest.

3.) Should I just flat out bring up the topic of me being recently divorced and not looking for anything serious, but still wanting to hang out with her this weekend? Or let my behaviors suggest that, and wait for HER to ask me.

Thank you tremendously gentlemen.

Say nothing. Pound. Inbox nudes. I share lulz

 

[TheNewStyle123]

No. Only bring it up if she asks and then just be straight forward and make in no big deal. Just be honest with her. My phrase ALWAYS works in your situation:
"I am not looking for anything super serious right away but I am open to it later on with the right person". I even tell them "I dont want to waste time with something that doesnt have potential either".

It covers all basis. Good luck

Wow I love that. Excellent quote man - I will definitely be borrowing that one!

 

[DreamAgain]

There worst thing you can do is not escalate here.

If you don't try to escalate, she will ghost you and get super insulted.

Of course, if she doesn't play ball the first time, pause and change the subject a bit, then try again. If it's a no go the second time, then abort mission and leave.