am I just being insecure?

[mj2k4]

ok so i went out with this girl for a year and 1/2, then things fell apart. I know why. I went from being being the guy who gave her great sex and partied and everything to buying a house and getting into this 'settling down' frame of mind, which screwed everything up. We broke up a few months ago, and I moved on, went out with other women.

I went out of town a few weeks ago, and when I came back, she left me a rose and a card on my doorstep. The next night she came over and we had sex. From there, for the next week or so, we got back into a dating situation like it was at the beginning, where we were having great sex and it wasnt too serious.
So a few weekends ago I went out with some friends, and we ran into her. I told her I wanted to come home with me. She was reluctant as she was with her friends, and didnt want to leave them. I was hellbent on getting her to go home with me, so when she left, I called her and left a msg saying if she didnt come home with me I would find a women who would. Yeah, dlckish thing to do, i know. But she came back, and decided to come home with me.

What bugs me is that when we were leaving, as we were walking back to my friends car so he could take us home, is that she was very flirtatous with my friend. Now, she is very flirtatous with everyone, and is very touchy feely with people all the time, especially guys, and then (when we were in a 'relationship') she would ***** to me that these guys always want to take it to the next level. Well duh. So anyways, She locked arms with him as we were walking to the car (she has known him through me for as long as I have known her). Now this crap bugs me. Why? Because I am insecure, right? I mean, I banged the crap out of her that night.

I just expect some respect when we are together, and I take that as not being respectful...or is it because Im insecure. I mean, I am the one she is banging, not anyone else, but it still bugs me. Why? I mean, shouldnt I not care? So why do I? Is it a male insecuirity thing to have their women always be on their jock?

So, is it worth my time to bring this crap up? Does it make me look really insecure if i bring it up to her? Maybe I shouldnt bother because I know I am hittin it on a regular basis. And a part of me says dont worry, dont sweat it, you are banging her all the time now, she is yours. But another says, Hey, she should show me more respect.

So, what should I do?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

She is not your girl - you are just the next pimp in line!!! Don't fret!

 

[noseguard20]

Originally posted by mj2k4
ok so i went out with this girl for a year and 1/2, then things fell apart. I know why. I went from being being the guy who gave her great sex and partied and everything to buying a house and getting into this 'settling down' frame of mind, which screwed everything up. We broke up a few months ago, and I moved on, went out with other women.

I went out of town a few weeks ago, and when I came back, she left me a rose and a card on my doorstep. The next night she came over and we had sex. From there, for the next week or so, we got back into a dating situation like it was at the beginning, where we were having great sex and it wasnt too serious.
So a few weekends ago I went out with some friends, and we ran into her. I told her I wanted to come home with me. She was reluctant as she was with her friends, and didnt want to leave them. I was hellbent on getting her to go home with me, so when she left, I called her and left a msg saying if she didnt come home with me I would find a women who would. Yeah, dlckish thing to do, i know. But she came back, and decided to come home with me.

What bugs me is that when we were leaving, as we were walking back to my friends car so he could take us home, is that she was very flirtatous with my friend. Now, she is very flirtatous with everyone, and is very touchy feely with people all the time, especially guys, and then (when we were in a 'relationship') she would ***** to me that these guys always want to take it to the next level. Well duh. So anyways, She locked arms with him as we were walking to the car (she has known him through me for as long as I have known her). Now this crap bugs me. Why? Because I am insecure, right? I mean, I banged the crap out of her that night.

I just expect some respect when we are together, and I take that as not being respectful...or is it because Im insecure. I mean, I am the one she is banging, not anyone else, but it still bugs me. Why? I mean, shouldnt I not care? So why do I? Is it a male insecuirity thing to have their women always be on their jock?

So, is it worth my time to bring this crap up? Does it make me look really insecure if i bring it up to her? Maybe I shouldnt bother because I know I am hittin it on a regular basis. And a part of me says dont worry, dont sweat it, you are banging her all the time now, she is yours. But another says, Hey, she should show me more respect.

So, what should I do?

Tell her that you won't have sex again until you are married. She will respect you then.

 

[Grey Fox]

Its a big red flag when you go from party to settle down mode and she flakes out and runs. She was being flirty with everyone because of the MSG as a way at getting back at you. Its just a game to her now and she probably has no real intention of staying with you on a long term basis. Its time to move on if you are looking to settle down.

-Grey Fox

 

[billybob]

As usual Fox hit it on the head. Think about it, by telling her you could simply find another woman to go home with, you took total control and possession of all the power. By submitting to you and agreeing to go home with you she lost all power. She tried to regain some by fvcking with your head by flirting with your friend.

It doesn't sound like your considering anything meaningful with this girl, but if you are, think again.

 

[mj2k4]

Originally posted by Grey Fox
Its a big red flag when you go from party to settle down mode and she flakes out and runs. She was being flirty with everyone because of the MSG as a way at getting back at you. Its just a game to her now and she probably has no real intention of staying with you on a long term basis. Its time to move on if you are looking to settle down.

-Grey Fox

Actually, she didnt flake and dump me or anything, i actually dumped her...twice. but sex was lacking. i realize now that everything was fine the 1st time around...we had great sex, we didnt see each that much....and then my frame of mind changed into settle down mode...i bought a house, we were together all the time...and bam, sex life shrivels (pun intended). then 2 months after the last breakup, she came back to me. now we are back to seeing each other once or twivce a week, have agreat crazy sex, and talk maybe every other day (i make it a point to only call her once for every 3 times she calls me).
so, i guess my original question is kinda moot, since i know i cannot settle down with this girl right now or anytime in the future, until she finishes school, and i guess those old feelings of wanting to settle down and get serious started coming back. so i either need to supress them and be happy getting sex from her twice a week, or move on.

 

[NewMan]

Your way to into her than she is into you.

Your mode is "Shes mine" when in fact she's not. She's a glorified version of a fvck buddy.

You've got to detach those feelings away from her and this situation. You've got to stop obsessing about the whole thing and realize what this is. If you can't handle this - you've got to get rid of her from your life and move on.


Get some other poon involved. Get bust hook up with other chicks and break this girls hold.

Just as an observation - this girl is just touchy feely and friendly. It doesn't mean she's trying to get back at you - or that she's trying to get the power. it's obviously just the way she is. Don't expect that to change. You can either except that or not. It's your choice - but don't try and change the way she is or act's.

 

[mj2k4]

Originally posted by NewMan
Your way to into her than she is into you.

Your mode is "Shes mine" when in fact she's not. She's a glorified version of a fvck buddy.

You've got to detach those feelings away from her and this situation. You've got to stop obsessing about the whole thing and realize what this is. If you can't handle this - you've got to get rid of her from your life and move on.


Get some other poon involved. Get bust hook up with other chicks and break this girls hold.

Just as an observation - this girl is just touchy feely and friendly. It doesn't mean she's trying to get back at you - or that she's trying to get the power. it's obviously just the way she is. Don't expect that to change. You can either except that or not. It's your choice - but don't try and change the way she is or act's.

Yeah dude, everything you said was dead on (pat yourself on the back). I do have to stop having these kinds of feelings for her or else Im going to lose power and everything will get FUBARed...again. I've got to stop thinking about this crap all the time, go meet other women, do other things (well, i do keep pretty busy). And yes she is touchy feely with everyone, its just the way she is and always has been, and if i try to make her change, i'll come off as insecure, and that would be a bad thing...

 

[neobrood]

i think she is trying to make you jealous... or is trying to test you...

Or maybe she wants some entertainment... ooh... I really wanna see some action... Isn't it great to see the man who "banged" me... Bang the head of this other guy into the concrete? Ooh... blood...