Ugh, so much stuff was done wrong here... where to begin...
1. She's been texting you since August? Okay... so, this is the part where I say "
texting KILLS relationships." Only, in this case, it's not because you were sending her too many text, but because you weren't responding to them by asking her out. I don't advocate guys initiating conversations via text because, more often than not, they end up saying the wrong thing and making her lose interest. However, if SHE is the one constantly hitting you up, day after day, for FOUR months, it means she's interested, and giving you a chance to ask her out. The fact that you didn't means you were wasting these texting opportunities chatting away about dumb stuff when you SHOULD have been asking her out, which is what her texting you was designed to help you do.
What you SHOULD have done when she hit you up is the following:
HER: Good morning 
YOU: (20 minutes later - never answer back right away) Yep, so far so good. Hey, I'm planning on seeing a movie tonight around 6 or 8:30, care 2 join me?
HER: (some kind of response, leaning towards either a "yes" or "no")
And that's it!
2.
You put her on the spot BEFORE you even went on the date. You asked her out for drinks, and she said "yes." That's all you needed to do. Just the fact that she agreed to it meant there was a chance she was thinking to herself: "Hmm, he's asking me out? Okay, I'll bite - let's see if he's got what I'm looking for in a potential boyfriend..."
But then, you asked her to clarify what kind of date it was - "romantic date or friendship date" - which, in her mind, forced her to now have to make a decision about you that normally takes at least 10 DATES to figure out. Yes, a girl may decide after date one that she likes you and wants you to be her BF, but she still needs a few dates in so she can make sure you are the guy you're proclaiming to be.
The GIRL is supposed to be the one that eventually asks a guy, "So, what are we?" In my experience, this can take anywhere from a month to three months - regardless, though, it's a decision made AFTER going out on a few dates. YOU just asked her to make this decision before date one - and, since she doesn't know how you are romantically or have an idea of what kind of relationship she wants with you yet, she had no choice but to make the "friendship" statement, which YOU forced her to make.
3.
Your problem is not that you're too passive; it's that you're not indifferent to the outcome. You're so focused on having to make this thing work with this girl that you're trying to get answers out of her and/or throw down ultimatums about her telling you what you two are. Were you actually MORE passive, knowing these things for right now wouldn't bother you because you'd know that if she didn't like you, you could easily find someone else.
Amazingly, there may actually be a chance that she likes you - but not the most recent version of you that's trying to make her make a decision about you two despite this being the first time you've asked her on a "date." So, don't go in there wanting to know what you and her are before you spend a few bucks - it's the dating game, so every date is a gamble that may or may not pay off.
Here's what you do:
1. Go on the date and don't mention anything about it being a "date." Just have fun.
2. While you're having this fun, though, be on the look out for signals from her that she's interested in you more than just a friend. These include things like brushing up against you, touching your arm/shoulder/hand while telling a story, giving you compliments about anything involving your looks or the type of person you are, trying to hold your hand while walking around, playfully teasing you... basically, anything that seems flirty.
3. Speaking of #2, make sure SHE'S the one to initiate kino first - it's the best way for you to see if there's an interest there. Once she touches you, touch her every so often as well, progressing to longer, more intimate touches as the night goes on (i.e. from touching her arm, to feeling her hair, to holding your arm around her). And when you go for these touches, do NOT act nervous or ask permission.
4. If all this touching and flirting goes well, at some point during the date go in for the kiss. The best way to do this is probably at the end of the night - go in for the hug, hug her, then look right at her for a brief second and lean in for the kiss. Depending on her interest she'll do one of three things: kiss you back, which means she's feeling you on some level; turn her face and give you the cheek, which means she doesn't see you that way; or ask you what the heck you're doing, which means the thought of kissing you disgust her - definitely not interested.
Regardless of how she reacts to the kiss, though, don't go overboard with YOUR reaction. If she kisses you back, just say "have a good night, I'll talk to you soon" and walk off - no jumping jacks or saying things like "does this mean we're in a relationship now?!?" If she gives you the cheek, kiss it then say, "well, I'll see ya later," then walk off - no crying or saying things like "why don't you want to kiss me?!?" And if she asks you what the heck you're doing, just say jokingly, "my bad, I thought you needed mouth to mouth resuscitation!" Then laugh it off, say "anyway, I'll talk to ya later" then walk off.
In any case, don't let HER reaction determine how you feel about going for the kiss - if you don't go for it, you'll be stuck in uncertainty land forever, and NO man likes to end up there. You've been talking with this chick for 4 months - better to find out now if she'll back away from your kiss than wonder for 4 more months and waste your time. Hope this helps!
