Am I getting trolled again by another woman?

[sangheilios]

A few days ago I decided to approach a girl at my gym, I started seeing her a bit here and there recently so figured it couldn't hurt. Anyway, the conversation went pretty well so I let her get back to her workout. Saw her there the next day, she comes over to talk to me and we chat for a bit. We talked about meeting up later at a local bar/restaurant/lounge, they have billiards and other stuff there as well, and exchanged numbers. Anyway, shortly after she leaves she texts me saying she can't make it and then asked if we could do it another time. I just say sure and then ask her what her general availability is like so I could make a plan for some other time.

Naturally I haven't heard back from her at all and the whole thing just feels weird, so I just deleted her number. I feel like I'm being trolled by these women but another part of me just doesn't see why she would go through all of that if she was just going to disappear lol. This isn't the first time I've had this happen to me, the first time legitimately pissed me off but now it just comes across as something a nut would do so I just delete the number and forget they exist all together instead of blaming myself.

 

[marmel75]

Of course its her not you...notice how this happens after a few times of talking to you...literally this thread could be any of your other ones because its all the same.

The vibe you are giving off is all wrong bro. You better figure it out. Notice how the same thing keeps happening over and over wirh different women.

You talk to them a few times or go on dates a few times and then they bounce. This equals weird vibe or bad vibe that you give off.

A nut? No, just women who think you come across as too needy, too desperate, stalkerish, or some other form of weird or creepy behavior that makes them want to run away as fast as they can once they see this.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Most women are anti-confrontational and are somewhat scared of men. They have a right to be because men are bigger and stronger and many have a tendency to react violently or get really nasty in the face of rejection. MANY women, especially when it comes to a large tall dude like you, will accept a date invite if it's made F2F even if they have no intention of going. Then once they are out of harm's way, they ghost or flake from the safety of their phone, and they add in the "raincheck" in hopes you won't be butt-hurt and cause a scene the next time they see you in person.

Couple things come to mind here.... First of all, good job on having the balls to approach her! Your initial conversation and vibe couldn't have been that bad because she approached you the second time, so that's good information.

So she approaches you, you ask her out, and she flakes minutes later. All I can think of is:
1. Your vibe in the second convo was bad. Possible but unlikely because your vibe in first convo was good enough for her to approach you the next time you saw her. Anything the second convo stand out to you to lose you think it might be this?
2. You asked her on a same-day date, which can appear needy. A non-thirsty guy will be busy and booked up for at least a few days.
3. You were not deliberate and specific enough in your intent in conversation 1 so she didn't know that you were interested in her sexually. This explains her approaching you for chatting, but not wanting to actually go on the date.
4. This kind of links to #3: She likes attention and talking and flirting but is married, has a BF, or isn't into you enough to move beyond talking at the gym.

My bet is #3/4. Regardless, don't sweat it. Most girls you talk to won't be interested. You should get to the point quickly with them and if they say no or flake ,then you know they aren't into you and you move on to the next. Your frustration seems to be in thinking girls do this specifically to you, intentionally, out of malice, just to **** with you. That's not the case. They do it to everyone. Hopefully my explanation above about their motives will help you see the human aspect of their actions and thus stop being angry/frustrated by it.

 

[sangheilios]

Most women are anti-confrontational and are somewhat scared of men. They have a right to be because men are bigger and stronger and many have a tendency to react violently or get really nasty in the face of rejection. MANY women, especially when it comes to a large tall dude like you, will accept a date invite if it's made F2F even if they have no intention of going. Then once they are out of harm's way, they ghost or flake from the safety of their phone, and they add in the "raincheck" in hopes you won't be butt-hurt and cause a scene the next time they see you in person.

Couple things come to mind here.... First of all, good job on having the balls to approach her! Your initial conversation and vibe couldn't have been that bad because she approached you the second time, so that's good information.

So she approaches you, you ask her out, and she flakes minutes later. All I can think of is:
1. Your vibe in the second convo was bad. Possible but unlikely because your vibe in first convo was good enough for her to approach you the next time you saw her. Anything the second convo stand out to you to lose you think it might be this?
2. You asked her on a same-day date, which can appear needy. A non-thirsty guy will be busy and booked up for at least a few days.
3. You were not deliberate and specific enough in your intent in conversation 1 so she didn't know that you were interested in her sexually. This explains her approaching you for chatting, but not wanting to actually go on the date.
4. This kind of links to #3: She likes attention and talking and flirting but is married, has a BF, or isn't into you enough to move beyond talking at the gym.

My bet is #3/4. Regardless, don't sweat it. Most girls you talk to won't be interested. You should get to the point quickly with them and if they say no or flake ,then you know they aren't into you and you move on to the next. Your frustration seems to be in thinking girls do this specifically to you, intentionally, out of malice, just to **** with you. That's not the case. They do it to everyone. Hopefully my explanation above about their motives will help you see the human aspect of their actions and thus stop being angry/frustrated by it.

Well, to me it was obvious that she wasn't creeped out by me and was at least sort of interested if she was approaching me after our first conversation. In my mind, if a woman legitimately did not like me at all she would not bother to do so. If I had approached her the second time and she was being short but polite with me I could see that, but again she is the one that took it upon herself to come up to me to talk to me. She literally waved, took off her headphones, walked over to my direction and then we proceeded to talk.....if that is not taking it upon herself to show interest I don't know what is lol.

During the conversation I was just asking her what she liked to do for fun, just as a feeler to see what type of stuff she'd be into. I mentioned a particular place and said I could buy her a drink and appetizers, play pool, etc. She then asked if I'd like to do that with her later that evening, so of course I'm going to say sure lol. We exchanged numbers and the entire time she had a huge smile on her face and just overall seemed super excited, I emphasize this because it wasn't like she had a serious look on her face and the entire conversation was painfully awkward.

I do honestly feel like these women are messing with me because from my perspective it feels like they are completely pretending to like me to any degree and are using me for validation/attention. I can't say if that is actually what is going on but from my end that is what it feels like, as if someone is toying with me for their own pleasure. I'm sure you can understand where I'm coming from, I just find all of this super confusing.

 

[marmel75]

Most women are anti-confrontational and are somewhat scared of men. They have a right to be because men are bigger and stronger and many have a tendency to react violently or get really nasty in the face of rejection. MANY women, especially when it comes to a large tall dude like you, will accept a date invite if it's made F2F even if they have no intention of going. Then once they are out of harm's way, they ghost or flake from the safety of their phone, and they add in the "raincheck" in hopes you won't be butt-hurt and cause a scene the next time they see you in person.

Couple things come to mind here.... First of all, good job on having the balls to approach her! Your initial conversation and vibe couldn't have been that bad because she approached you the second time, so that's good information.

So she approaches you, you ask her out, and she flakes minutes later. All I can think of is:
1. Your vibe in the second convo was bad. Possible but unlikely because your vibe in first convo was good enough for her to approach you the next time you saw her. Anything the second convo stand out to you to lose you think it might be this?
2. You asked her on a same-day date, which can appear needy. A non-thirsty guy will be busy and booked up for at least a few days.
3. You were not deliberate and specific enough in your intent in conversation 1 so she didn't know that you were interested in her sexually. This explains her approaching you for chatting, but not wanting to actually go on the date.
4. This kind of links to #3: She likes attention and talking and flirting but is married, has a BF, or isn't into you enough to move beyond talking at the gym.

My bet is #3/4. Regardless, don't sweat it. Most girls you talk to won't be interested. You should get to the point quickly with them and if they say no or flake ,then you know they aren't into you and you move on to the next. Your frustration seems to be in thinking girls do this specifically to you, intentionally, out of malice, just to **** with you. That's not the case. They do it to everyone. Hopefully my explanation above about their motives will help you see the human aspect of their actions and thus stop being angry/frustrated by it.

If this was an isolated incident then yes I would agree. However this is not an isolated incident it is the exact same thing that happens with literally every woman the OP interacts with.

 

[sangheilios]

About 10 years ago when I starred hitting on women, this happened to me a lot. At some point I decided to become more aggressive. That meant closing the distance in person, putting my hand on her lower back, and escalate as fast as I could as soon as I saw ANY SIGN. I would do this at campus, work, at the gym, at the bar, at 2 pm, at 2 am, - it did not matter.

Some might argue this is too needy. But guys who are needy/sexually obsessed are MORE LIKELY to act platonic/safe. The non-needy guys take more risks. Think about that. A guy who has sexual abundance is MORE SEXUAL, not less. He is out in the open about his intentions.

After awhile I realized that men and women were meant to swim in sexual tension. There has to be some kind of electricity between you and the woman. And when she gives you a sign, you have to close the distance and touch her. You have to flirt with her from the get go.

Most guys have it backwards. They think "As soon as she gets to know me during the date, she will like me." It works the OTHER WAY. You have to create a fun/sexual vibe BEFORE she even cares about you.

The most common approach I see on this forum is usually "I'm going to play it safe. I'm going to be murky with my intentions and act platonic because I don't want to come across as too needy....and then she flaked. What happened?"

When I flirt with women in person, if I sense that she is attrracted to me and giving me a sign, I always close the distance and touch her to set sexual expectations and make my intentions clear. If she shows she is disgusted, I would just walk away. The number is useless.

What I've been trying to do recently is after meeting a woman and getting her number I always try to give her a hug. I never used to do this, as it always felt awkward to me, but now I've been making a habit of it. I try not to be too aggressive with touching because that has backfired on me in the past. I was on a date with a girl I had met on a night out with me friends and I had put my hand on her leg and she did not like that at all. We were on a mini golfing date and were having fun, so it was going really well. Anyway, we were sitting down next to each other waiting for the group in front of us to finish the course and I noticed she was stroking the golf club like she would with a penis. I got instantly aroused and when I was talking to her I placed my hand on the inside of her thigh/knee area, which I know I shouldn't have done, and it changed the vibe of the date.

I've also been trying to be a bit more forward with my intentions, but with gym game I've been experimenting with different approaches in regards to asking them out.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The non-needy guys take more risks. Think about that. A guy who has sexual abundance is MORE SEXUAL, not less. He is out in the open about his intentions.

As I continue my own calibration, I have found the same thing. It was extremely difficult for me to try what you suggest, even as an experiment. I was sure that being direct and sexual would cause looks of disgust and contempt, followed by being told to ****-off. Every cell in my body screamed "NO." However, when I forced myself to execute it, it had the opposite effect. Girls were flattered and turned submissive and opened up. My number close rate increased. Of course, not all girls were into it but more girls were receptive to that approach than softer or more indirect approaches. It really is counterintuitive to how we've been programmed by movies, TV, and feminism, but it works.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

She literally waved, took off her headphones, walked over to my direction and then we proceeded to talk.....if that is not taking it upon herself to show interest I don't know what is lol.

Interest in talking to you, yes. Romantic interest, not necessarily. Look, you think girls think like guys. Like if you talk to them and they don't want to fvck you, they will say "I'm not interested" and walk away. Some will. Most won't do that. They are social creatures who CRAVE interaction. This is why I am such a fan of cold approach. They all secretly want to be approached. They want to do the social dance with you. They enjoy the dance. It might lead somewhere, it might not.

I mentioned a particular place and said I could buy her a drink and appetizers, play pool, etc.

This is small, and I feel like there is more around this part of the convo that I'd need to know to be sure, but I wouldn't offer to buy food and drinks verbally. It just sounds strange. "Hey, there's this place down the road that has pool and darts. We could go there together and I could buy you appetizers and a drink." It just sounds strange. I would invite her to the place, but leave the buying unsaid. You can buy, but don't put that out on the table at the invite or it sounds like you are trying to buy her. Maybe this isn't how it went down but just FYI.

I do honestly feel like these women are messing with me because from my perspective it feels like they are completely pretending to like me to any degree and are using me for validation/attention. I can't say if that is actually what is going on but from my end that is what it feels like, as if someone is toying with me for their own pleasure. I'm sure you can understand where I'm coming from, I just find all of this super confusing.

Naw man. Just two weeks ago I stopped a crazy hot 21 year old on the street. She was about an 8 with crazy long slender legs. She stopped and was interested in talking to me. We talked for five mins or so and I was extremely direct with her. When I stopped her, I told her it was because I saw her get off the train and thought she looked incredible and just had to meet her. I got caught by the traffic light so had to literally run after her to catch up to her. She thought this was really hot and couldn't contain the smile. Anyway, I ended the interaction by telling her I had to go and meet a friend but that we should get together for a coffee or a drink. She said yes and told me where she lived (I didn't ask that). We exchanged contact details. I texted her a day or two later and she never responded.

Approached another girl the same day who wasn't quite as hot but was maybe a 6. She was in a hurry so I told her I'd walk with her. We did, talked for a few mins, she seemed into it. When we stopped to wait to cross a road, she stepped really close into my personal space. She was on the way to the corner store to buy something. After we crossed the road, I felt I'd built enough rapport to number close her so I told her I had to run to meet a friend. She looked at me surprised, like she was disappointed I wasn't going to follow her INTO the store which was now just 50' away. I then asked if she'd like to get coffee or a drink with me soon and she said no thanks.

A day later I was in a Starbucks. Saw a cute young girl with runners legs and mismatched socks. Made a comment on the socks to open her and she was receptive. Started talking and after a minute of talking by the counter, she invites me to sit down at a table with her. I do and we talk for 30 minutes. Great Convo. I made a comment about her sexy legs during the Convo and she loved it. I told her we should exchange numbers so we can get together again soon and she said definitely. When I texted her a day later to setup a date for the following day, she said, "I can't, I'm busy. Studying for an exam and then I fly to ____ to spend the week with my boyfriend". She didn't mention anything about him in our Convo. So, cute young girl with long distance boyfriend likes the attention and conversation from a good looking guy with good conversation skills who makes her feel a certain way most guys don't, but after the interaction, feels guilty and decides not to move forward.

That same day I approached another girl on a train. We talked for 30 minutes. She literally would not let me leave the conversation. She kept talking and talking and talking. And this was after we got off the train at her stop and she stopped on the platform to talk to me. When I finally number closed her, she told me she had a bf. I asked her if it was serious and she said yes and that she just moved in with him, but then told me she still really wanted to meet me and could even go for the coffee RIGHT NOW. Girls like talking to guys. Doesn't always mean they want to, or will fvck/date you.

And of course, as you know from my reply to your other thread, I had an awesome romance with a 23yo I stopped on the street as well, and I've been seeing a hot 30yo for several months who I stopped on the street.

Girls are just like this. They like attention, are afraid of rejecting people, and they change their mind. You attract a girl and make her feel a certain way one moment, then the next moment when you are no longer there, the feeling is gone, they start thinking about the guy they are dating but on the rocks with or trying to get back together with or WHAT THE FVCK EVER, and the feeling is gone. It's just how they work. You must stop taking it personally. It happens to all of us who actually go out and put ourselves out there to meet women. I see you increasing your approaches which I commend you for, but your numbers are WAY too low to be complaining about failures at this point. You are learning and your calibration is still low so you need to expect your success rate to be low, but improve over time. Expect around 1 in 15 girls you approach to actually go on a date. Expect 1 in 30 to sleep with you. Sometimes my numbers are much better and other times worse, and I've had practice. From your threads, it looks like you are only up to like 3 approaches or so max. That is WAY too low to be complaining! Keep approaching and understand this is a numbers game, it isn't personal, and if you keep getting frustrated by it and taking it personally, you are only hurting yourself.

 

[Spaz]

I today saw a newbie successfully gained a date after just a single thread by following the excellent advice of the forum.

If he can do it, I see no reason why you can't.

It might take some time but it's certainly doable.

You too got some excellent advice here.

I'm interested to know what you're learned from the posters here OP.

And from there how you'd convert it into an actionable real life plan.

The forum will certainly help.

 

[Robert28]

I think a lot of men are hesitant about creating sexual tension and attraction because of today’s political climate where everything is considered sexual assault or rape or whatever. Women can claim you did something 2 years ago or 20 years ago, and it’s their word against yours. I can understand why a lot of guys are hesitant about trying to touch a woman they don’t know in the small of her back or any sort of harmless flirty way. Feminism has not only ruined women, it’s ruined men too.

 

[Spaz]

I think a lot of men are hesitant about creating sexual tension and attraction because of today’s political climate where everything is considered sexual assault or rape or whatever. Women can claim you did something 2 years ago or 20 years ago, and it’s their word against yours. I can understand why a lot of guys are hesitant about trying to touch a woman they don’t know in the small of her back or any sort of harmless flirty way. Feminism has not only ruined women, it’s ruined men too.

That's no excuse not to learn how to read a woman's body language.

She will vibe it over that's she's opened to it, learn it.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Lots of good stuff in this thread.

I’ve never had a flake or cancellation, and I attribute that to my knack for detecting genuine interest from women, and only approaching those who invite me or green-light me.

That can happen after a conversation starts, or before, but I’ve noticed that they almost always give off “tells” when they are seriously interested.

For me, the secret has been to appear detached from outcome; to convey that I am just amusing myself as I interact. During that detached phase, they get an internal positive feeling and once they do, they subtly communicate interest.

I shudder to think of all the interest I was getting from them in the past, but I was too clueless at the time to be able to read it.

When I read about these formal approaches and kino escalation and all that, I can’t even imagine doing these formularized steps. They are too formal and they telegraph excessive interest on my part.

My modus operandi is always, “OK, impress me”, never the opposite, which I see as a “Please accept me” monkey dance.

I can’t help but think that training in learning to recognize signs of interest from women would be far more effective than training in cold approaches as they’re called.

In my experience, women are very attracted to a man who presents himself well and for whom she has to work in order to gain his attention.

The key for me is an attitude of detachment, which women find extraordinarily attractive. It’s a delicate balance. I think that most men fail because they telegraph complete interest in the woman. There can be no cat and mouse for her because she already knows the outcome. There is no mystery, and the man is put in a position of working for her acceptance of him.

All of this is just a mental shift; creating a new reality that women need to impress me before I ever show my interest. Detachment is sexy and exciting in a woman’s eyes.

Another way I would describe it is to sneak in under her radar. You can either light up her radar like a Christmas tree, setting off her “Incoming!!!” alarm, or you can be friendly and charming, but detached, and watch her change from cautious to inviting.

Of course there are sometimes time constraints within which one must act more quickly, but in a situation where there is time, and especially when one will see her repeatedly, sneaking in under the radar till she can’t resist has always worked well for me.

I think the mental shift is from trying to impress to providing a fun, relaxed experience for everyone within your immediate surroundings. While doing that, a certain percentage of women will start to broadcast signs of interest. These ones will literally invite you in with smiles, body language, submissive behavior, “accidental” touching, etc.

Works for me, anyway.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I can understand why a lot of guys are hesitant about trying to touch a woman they don’t know in the small of her back or any sort of harmless flirty way.

I can understand too, because I've had to work very hard to get past it, and I'm still working on it, getting better with each approach. But Spaz is right in that it's no excuse not to do it. Those of us who are doing it, have been successful at it, and shared our results here serve as living proof that reality is different from the brainwashing. So if you are here on this forum reading this information, you have no excuse.

 

[jaymbrs]

That's no excuse not to learn how to read a woman's body language.

She will vibe it over that's she's opened to it, learn it.

One still has to be extremely cautious. Some women can easily be going with the flow and her friend(s) will later convince her that it was inappropriateness on the guys part. I've been hit with that at work. Attended a work happy hour and after a few hours of drinking, a female coworker and I decided to leave to get a hotel room and hook up. The next few days or so she approaches me to tell me her friends felt I took advantage of her, when SHE DROVE HERSELF to meet me at the hotel. Even though nothing serious stemmed from it other than me not speaking to her again, it was still a shocking experience to me.

 

[Robert28]

One still has to be extremely cautious. Some women can easily be going with the flow and her friend(s) will later convince her that it was inappropriateness on the guys part. I've been hit with that at work. Attended a work happy hour and after a few hours of drinking, a female coworker and I decided to leave to get a hotel room and hook up. The next few days or so she approaches me to tell me her friends felt I took advantage of her, when SHE DROVE HERSELF to meet me at the hotel. Even though nothing serious stemmed from it other than me not speaking to her again, it was still a shocking experience to me.

What’s ironic is she won’t listen to her friends at all when she’s dating a douchebag who beats her brains out every night. She will say that’s “love”. Women have a fvcked up version of what love is these days.

 

[sangheilios]

Interest in talking to you, yes. Romantic interest, not necessarily. Look, you think girls think like guys. Like if you talk to them and they don't want to fvck you, they will say "I'm not interested" and walk away. Some will. Most won't do that. They are social creatures who CRAVE interaction. This is why I am such a fan of cold approach. They all secretly want to be approached. They want to do the social dance with you. They enjoy the dance. It might lead somewhere, it might not.




This is small, and I feel like there is more around this part of the convo that I'd need to know to be sure, but I wouldn't offer to buy food and drinks verbally. It just sounds strange. "Hey, there's this place down the road that has pool and darts. We could go there together and I could buy you appetizers and a drink." It just sounds strange. I would invite her to the place, but leave the buying unsaid. You can buy, but don't put that out on the table at the invite or it sounds like you are trying to buy her. Maybe this isn't how it went down but just FYI.



Naw man. Just two weeks ago I stopped a crazy hot 21 year old on the street. She was about an 8 with crazy long slender legs. She stopped and was interested in talking to me. We talked for five mins or so and I was extremely direct with her. When I stopped her, I told her it was because I saw her get off the train and thought she looked incredible and just had to meet her. I got caught by the traffic light so had to literally run after her to catch up to her. She thought this was really hot and couldn't contain the smile. Anyway, I ended the interaction by telling her I had to go and meet a friend but that we should get together for a coffee or a drink. She said yes and told me where she lived (I didn't ask that). We exchanged contact details. I texted her a day or two later and she never responded.

Approached another girl the same day who wasn't quite as hot but was maybe a 6. She was in a hurry so I told her I'd walk with her. We did, talked for a few mins, she seemed into it. When we stopped to wait to cross a road, she stepped really close into my personal space. She was on the way to the corner store to buy something. After we crossed the road, I felt I'd built enough rapport to number close her so I told her I had to run to meet a friend. She looked at me surprised, like she was disappointed I wasn't going to follow her INTO the store which was now just 50' away. I then asked if she'd like to get coffee or a drink with me soon and she said no thanks.

A day later I was in a Starbucks. Saw a cute young girl with runners legs and mismatched socks. Made a comment on the socks to open her and she was receptive. Started talking and after a minute of talking by the counter, she invites me to sit down at a table with her. I do and we talk for 30 minutes. Great Convo. I made a comment about her sexy legs during the Convo and she loved it. I told her we should exchange numbers so we can get together again soon and she said definitely. When I texted her a day later to setup a date for the following day, she said, "I can't, I'm busy. Studying for an exam and then I fly to ____ to spend the week with my boyfriend". She didn't mention anything about him in our Convo. So, cute young girl with long distance boyfriend likes the attention and conversation from a good looking guy with good conversation skills who makes her feel a certain way most guys don't, but after the interaction, feels guilty and decides not to move forward.

That same day I approached another girl on a train. We talked for 30 minutes. She literally would not let me leave the conversation. She kept talking and talking and talking. And this was after we got off the train at her stop and she stopped on the platform to talk to me. When I finally number closed her, she told me she had a bf. I asked her if it was serious and she said yes and that she just moved in with him, but then told me she still really wanted to meet me and could even go for the coffee RIGHT NOW. Girls like talking to guys. Doesn't always mean they want to, or will fvck/date you.

And of course, as you know from my reply to your other thread, I had an awesome romance with a 23yo I stopped on the street as well, and I've been seeing a hot 30yo for several months who I stopped on the street.

Girls are just like this. They like attention, are afraid of rejecting people, and they change their mind. You attract a girl and make her feel a certain way one moment, then the next moment when you are no longer there, the feeling is gone, they start thinking about the guy they are dating but on the rocks with or trying to get back together with or WHAT THE FVCK EVER, and the feeling is gone. It's just how they work. You must stop taking it personally. It happens to all of us who actually go out and put ourselves out there to meet women. I see you increasing your approaches which I commend you for, but your numbers are WAY too low to be complaining about failures at this point. You are learning and your calibration is still low so you need to expect your success rate to be low, but improve over time. Expect around 1 in 15 girls you approach to actually go on a date. Expect 1 in 30 to sleep with you. Sometimes my numbers are much better and other times worse, and I've had practice. From your threads, it looks like you are only up to like 3 approaches or so max. That is WAY too low to be complaining! Keep approaching and understand this is a numbers game, it isn't personal, and if you keep getting frustrated by it and taking it personally, you are only hurting yourself.

I've approached more then 3 women total in my life lol, but you are right in that I don't do it that often and my total number is pretty low. Also, you are correct in that this is still something that I am indeed learning for myself and that I should realistically expect to have the majority of these result in nothing beyond just getting a number. I'm aware of the fact that cold approach itself has a relatively low success rate in general.

BTW, I didn't specifically say that I'd buy her this, this and that....I was just abbreviating how the conversation went.

I'd like to make a habit of approaching more often but I'm honestly not in that many positions to do so realistically or appropriately.

I today saw a newbie successfully gained a date after just a single thread by following the excellent advice of the forum.

If he can do it, I see no reason why you can't.

It might take some time but it's certainly doable.

You too got some excellent advice here.

I'm interested to know what you're learned from the posters here OP.

And from there how you'd convert it into an actionable real life plan.

The forum will certainly help.

The forum, and the other posters on here, help me to make sense of some of the different experiences I have. If I was totally on my own learning all of this most of these experiences would come across as very confusing and I honestly would have a hard time determining what it is that actually needs to be addressed. As @oldmanofthesea mentioned, with this particular case it could have just been typical "in the moment" stuff this woman had and for whatever reason once I'm not around she loses interest. Maybe she was/is talking to other guys and wanted to keep me in some sort of rotation, like guys with their "plates" talk about on here. As he mentioned, I don't think I should be taking any of this personally, though in the past I'd generally dissect such a scenario and try to figure out what I did wrong.

I'm planning on using this forum as kind of like a log book for keeping records of the approaches I make, their outcomes, etc. to gauge general progress and to be able to take home different learning experiences from each one.

 

[17 shots]

When she said can we do it another time you should've just said sure np, and came back to her another day. Dont try to immediately plan another date when a woman cancels, unless she herself offers a counter date and time. You came off like you just can't wait to hang out with her. You have her number, and you go to the same gym, there's no rush

And don't ask when's your availability so you can adjust to her schedule, she has to adjust to you, she's the one who canceled. I know that seemed like a thoughtful thing to do, but stop it

 

[jaymbrs]

What’s ironic is she won’t listen to her friends at all when she’s dating a douchebag who beats her brains out every night. She will say that’s “love”. Women have a fvcked up version of what love is these days.

Women don't know what anything is unless someone tells them it's a certain thing. If that woman getting beat thinks it's love, it's probably because the people she surrounds herself with think that as well. Which is why I like meeting a woman's friends. It shows me what kind of influence they're going to have on her while we're dating, screwing around, etc.

 

[Spaz]

One still has to be extremely cautious. Some women can easily be going with the flow and her friend(s) will later convince her that it was inappropriateness on the guys part. I've been hit with that at work. Attended a work happy hour and after a few hours of drinking, a female coworker and I decided to leave to get a hotel room and hook up. The next few days or so she approaches me to tell me her friends felt I took advantage of her, when SHE DROVE HERSELF to meet me at the hotel. Even though nothing serious stemmed from it other than me not speaking to her again, it was still a shocking experience to me.

Life is a series of risks that everyone goes through, even crossing the road is risky but one learns to be good at it by learning and risking it.

The higher the risk the higher the returns.

 

[sangheilios]

Life is a series of risks that everyone goes through, even crossing the road is risky but one learns to be good at it by learning and risking it.

The higher the risk the higher the returns.

It's important to be aware of the fact that there are bat**** crazy women out there that would indeed try to ruin a man. However, in the real world this isn't all that common and most of the women who are like this are your typical pink haired feminist type, something that is very easy to recognize and also widely avoided by any sane man.

I do feel that it is important to get to know people decently well before sleeping them, not specifically to do with rape allegations but to just avoid an entire host of other potential issues. Girl says she is on the pill, you bust a nut inside her and 9 months later you have a kid. Woman you barely know has a ton of STDs and now you have painful warts on your penis. Girl ended up being in a relationship and her pissed off bf shows up to your work to confront you, actually knew someone this happened to and he didn't know she had a bf.

As men if we can just think with our head, not that head, and just apply some basic logic most of the time we can avoid all of this, but things can and do happen.