Am I Fvcked up? Are you??

SmooveMooves

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In the name of puss, men will do some crazy things. Two things I can remember is once I smashed a girl in the basement of her family's house while her family was still upstairs after they invited me over for dinner. They were eating at the dinner table while I was thrashing their daughter downstairs, and they were Italian, so the Whole entire family was there.

Then I smashed this dudes girlfriend in a bathroom at a party. I had no idea the chick was his gf, he acted so beta I mistook them for bff. The dude was a mutual friend. I don't think he ever found out to this day.

Not proud of these things, this is a sharing thread.

What's the most fūcked up or shadiest thing you've done in the name of puss? Let's laugh.
 
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logicallefty

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SmooveMooves said:
What's the most fūcked up or shadiest thing you've done in the name of puss? Let's laugh.


I was working 1:00am one night as a police officer on patrol. Woman I know that I wanted to romp called me franticly from a town about 5 miles away. She was being pulled over by an officer there but had wine she was drinking from a plastic cup. In the 90 seconds or so the cop behind her was running her I told her to keep it covered and light a cig and smoke her car out to mask the smell. Told her to talk calmly and don't let the cop see any nervousness. He ended up not catching her wine and letting her go with a warning for speeding. She said she was nervous to keep driving where she was going which was about 30 more miles. I told her she had better come to my town. So I, still on duty, met her in a parking lot, took the wine out of her car, and scolded her for drinking and driving! But didn't arrest her of course. Gave her the key to my place and told her I'd be home in about an hour. I got off work and walked in to her wearing bra and panties saying "Officer Lefty, get over here and arrest me!". That was the only time I ever b@nged a chick with 1/2 my police uniform on. I felt guilty about that part but enjoyed the puss.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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Good idea Smoove, could use a bit of a laugh right now.

Had 10 of my uni mates round to my parents house for the weekend of my 21st. We all had to sleep on mattresses on the living room floor because there were so many of us. In the party was my regular friend with benefits who, to all intents and purposes was a bit of a screamer. Obviously we all went out on the town, got bladdered, staggering back at 2-3am. My FWB obviously wanted it so we just did, with our nearest and dearest friends barely 2 feet away. In the morning everyone was like, 'Who heard TMK and FWB last night'... Boom.

Another time I was at a house party too. It was a colleague of my then flatmate. The apartment was pretty plush to be fair. Again, got wasted and ended up with this bird in the bathroom too. So it transpires that this chick was on the blob, or, basically came on just as we were getting to the good part. In my drunken haze, I recall the vanity basin unit be absolutely covered in blood. Vague memories of attempting to hurriedly clear it up as people were trying to get in to the bathroom and that of other party-goers looking somewhat horrified at what at first glance must have looked a bit like a murder scene. No memory after that....

....until the following day when I realised I had left my mobile phone in the apartment where the party was :eek: With an absolute dog sh!t of a hangover, I sheepishly went back to collect it in the evening. Was not invited in, simply handed the phone at the front door. They seemed pretty cool.

Oh goodness, how I do laugh about. Now.
 

SmooveMooves

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logicallefty said:
I was working 1:00am one night as a police officer on patrol. Woman I know that I wanted to romp called me franticly from a town about 5 miles away. She was being pulled over by an officer there but had wine she was drinking from a plastic cup. In the 90 seconds or so the cop behind her was running her I told her to keep it covered and light a cig and smoke her car out to mask the smell. Told her to talk calmly and don't let the cop see any nervousness. He ended up not catching her wine and letting her go with a warning for speeding. She said she was nervous to keep driving where she was going which was about 30 more miles. I told her she had better come to my town. So I, still on duty, met her in a parking lot, took the wine out of her car, and scolded her for drinking and driving! But didn't arrest her of course. Gave her the key to my place and told her I'd be home in about an hour. I got off work and walked in to her wearing bra and panties saying "Officer Lefty, get over here and arrest me!". That was the only time I ever b@nged a chick with 1/2 my police uniform on. I felt guilty about that part but enjoyed the puss.
Haha. I couldn't be a cop. Knowing me I'd abuse my authority so much. Lol
 

way2smart

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When I was in the 8th grade, we would usually have a 40 minute lunch break.
Right about 100 meters from school there was a huge apartment complex where some of the apartments were occupied by prostitutes.

So during one of those lunch breaks I went to one of the prostitutes apartment and f*cked her for my lunch money, which I believe was $4 at that time.
Eventually I would f*ck her several times a week.

I grew up in a former Soviet Union country, so things were a little different then.

Oh, I also in the 10th grade I hired a prostitute but I couldn't find a place to f*ck her. It was late at night, so I went to my high school building and bribed the security guard to allow me f*ck her in the school classroom. The condom was still laying at the teachers desk the next morning. Those were fun times!

Now my story probably sounds f*cked up to americans. But you wouldn't believe what else we went through in those times in former Soviet Union countries.
 

SmooveMooves

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way2smart said:
When I was in the 8th grade, we would usually have a 40 minute lunch break.
Right about 100 meters from school there was a huge apartment complex where some of the apartments were occupied by prostitutes.

So during one of those lunch breaks I went to one of the prostitutes apartment and f*cked her for my lunch money, which I believe was $4 at that time.
Eventually I would f*ck her several times a week.

I grew up in a former Soviet Union country, so things were a little different then.

Oh, I also in the 10th grade I hired a prostitute but I couldn't find a place to f*ck her. It was late at night, so I went to my high school building and bribed the security guard to allow me f*ck her in the school classroom. The condom was still laying at the teachers desk the next morning. Those were fun times!

Now my story probably sounds f*cked up to americans. But you wouldn't believe what else we went through in those times in former Soviet Union countries.
It does, lol. Definetly unheard of for an American. I guess that's why American stereotypes Russians as being extremely tough.
 
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teebear

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I ran into a FB at a bar one night several years ago, just happened to be my birthday. She told me to pop over to her place when I left the bar and gave me her apartment number.

I showed up at her building around 1 am, located her apartment number in the directory and buzzed the number. The lobby door unlocked immediately. I took the elevator up to her apartment and knocked at the door. I heard movement inside the apartment but she didn't come to the door. I knocked on the door for about 10 minutes longer, growing more agitated all the time. WTF wasn't she answering? A couple of minutes later the elevator door opens and two burly cops start walking towards me.

You might have guessed it by now... In my drunken state I had misunderstood her apartment number but "luckily" the occupant buzzed me into the building anyway. I was banging on the wrong apartment door!
 

logicallefty

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SmooveMooves said:
Haha. I couldn't be a cop. Knowing me I'd abuse my authority so much. Lol
Many cops struggle with this. The power consumes them. You just have to remember that while you may be enforcing laws on citizens, there are Chiefs, Police Commissions, Mayors, attorneys, other police, Judges, media, and citizens who can just as easily enforce them on you if you cross the line. Many police forget who they work for. I was damn proud of my reputation in town as being stern but fair, even with the local "thugs". And all but one or two arrests I ever made lead to a conviction. So with me there was no ruining people's weekends only to have the State drop it because my arrest was weak. Most of the people I arrested plead guilty.

And my old Chief always said: "The men and women who become the best cops are the ones you would least expect to ever be one. " That was me 100%.
 

PlayerSupremo

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Is this thread about admitting what an ******* you have been and things you have done?

Okay here goes two:

================================

I boned two roommates and ruined their friendship. Dina & LeLani.
Dina had trouble getting nuts with a dude inside of her till she met me...bragged about the sex to her roommate.

Roomate and I hooked up and I got her off but it was not all that. She had issues inside I found out.

Her parents would drop her and her sister off when they were young at a family male friends home for the weekends.

He started having sex with them.

Real attractive women she grew up to be that liked old pot bellied guys. I was neither at the time.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>># 2 confession<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
I also boned a mother and daughter. I was hitting the momma and got tired. Years later she bought her daughter into my personal training studio and that day we went to my place and ****ed our brains out.

I kept her till she caused my girlfriend at the time's house on Christmas day looking for me.

She knew better and stole her phone number from behind the desk at the fitness studio we both worked at.

I went back and boned the momma some more.

Momma's father was from Italy. Mother was from Sweden. Poppa owned orchards down in Marysville Cali. He also owned his daughter and had her often. He later blew his head off in the barn with his shotgun. Much later. After I had met him. I guess he couldn't stand the thought of a Mouli having his grown ass old ass daughter? I don't know nor care.

Know that I look back on it as I am typing this she sure was eager to take me down there to meet her folks. I was just a booty call. She was ****ing married. I think she wanted to show her father how far she could fall..but anyways I digress...

She/momma grew up had a child and dumped the child onto the grandparents to raise.

Momma used to model for some petite store up here named Bebe's. size 1's 2.s and 3's. That's all. Real snobbish type females who starved themselves to be sizes they shouldn't be naturally just to shop there and a few who knew they shouldn't be shopping there. Interesting marketing ploy. Well back to my story:

Momma was married to a high ranker dude with the Sacramento Kings organization. Lived in a fancy condo. I did her there and in my studio often and in her back end.

Daughter I think wanted to pay her momma back as to why she RAN to me.

Jacked up family. Daughter of course moved after I dumped her. She was a school teacher. Slim with a bubble butt blond. I nicknamed and called her "bubble head."

Both were quite delicious! Momma had issues. She was raped at her job before I started boning her and she liked it. She described it to me and her eyes got big when the fool busted in her. But she made him use a condom first. He must of thought she was the wackiest rape he has ever had though. I don't condone that act either. It's *****assness. WEAK!

As for the the first two chica's hell nope. They and/or- we sucked.

I was ****ed up for a while in my life and all I attracted were ****ed up women.

One chick her daddy made her suck his thing from 7-9. She was raped by her step father at gun point from 14-17.

I did the inner work on myself and no longer attracted those types of females.

I used to show a girl holding a sign saying property of Player Supreme. That woman was also victim of some bull**** when she was growing up.
 

No.Danny

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^ OOOOOOH MY GOD!
WTTTFFF DID I JUST READ:whistle: :eek:
 

SmooveMooves

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PlayerSupremo said:
Is this thread about admitting what an ******* you have been and things you have done?

Okay here goes two:

================================

I boned two roommates and ruined their friendship. Dina & LeLani.
Dina had trouble getting nuts with a dude inside of her till she met me...bragged about the sex to her roommate.

Roomate and I hooked up and I got her off but it was not all that. She had issues inside I found out.

Her parents would drop her and her sister off when they were young at a family male friends home for the weekends.

He started having sex with them.

Real attractive women she grew up to be that liked old pot bellied guys. I was neither at the time.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>># 2 confession<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
I also boned a mother and daughter. I was hitting the momma and got tired. Years later she bought her daughter into my personal training studio and that day we went to my place and ****ed our brains out.

I kept her till she caused my girlfriend at the time's house on Christmas day looking for me.

She knew better and stole her phone number from behind the desk at the fitness studio we both worked at.

I went back and boned the momma some more.

Momma's father was from Italy. Mother was from Sweden. Poppa owned orchards down in Marysville Cali. He also owned his daughter and had her often. He later blew his head off in the barn with his shotgun. Much later. After I had met him. I guess he couldn't stand the thought of a Mouli having his grown ass old ass daughter? I don't know nor care.

Know that I look back on it as I am typing this she sure was eager to take me down there to meet her folks. I was just a booty call. She was ****ing married. I think she wanted to show her father how far she could fall..but anyways I digress...

She/momma grew up had a child and dumped the child onto the grandparents to raise.

Momma used to model for some petite store up here named Bebe's. size 1's 2.s and 3's. That's all. Real snobbish type females who starved themselves to be sizes they shouldn't be naturally just to shop there and a few who knew they shouldn't be shopping there. Interesting marketing ploy. Well back to my story:

Momma was married to a high ranker dude with the Sacramento Kings organization. Lived in a fancy condo. I did her there and in my studio often and in her back end.

Daughter I think wanted to pay her momma back as to why she RAN to me.

Jacked up family. Daughter of course moved after I dumped her. She was a school teacher. Slim with a bubble butt blond. I nicknamed and called her "bubble head."

Both were quite delicious! Momma had issues. She was raped at her job before I started boning her and she liked it. She described it to me and her eyes got big when the fool busted in her. But she made him use a condom first. He must of thought she was the wackiest rape he has ever had though. I don't condone that act either. It's *****assness. WEAK!

As for the the first two chica's hell nope. They and/or- we sucked.

I was ****ed up for a while in my life and all I attracted were ****ed up women.

One chick her daddy made her suck his thing from 7-9. She was raped by her step father at gun point from 14-17.

I did the inner work on myself and no longer attracted those types of females.

I used to show a girl holding a sign saying property of Player Supreme. That woman was also victim of some bull**** when she was growing up.
I said, let's laugh bruh. It ain't nothing about this story funny. I thought I did some crazy shít...

I just read like five episodes of Law & Order. Hope you're trolling, something tells me you ain't though.
 

Yorkex

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I was young and had a babysitting job. Anyways the family went to a party and I snuck my then girlfriend in and ****ed her on the living room floor.
Manage to get the timing right and kicked her out in time , they came home and I was sitting down like the good angel I am.
 

IBreatheSpears

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I can't think of anything particularly shady I've done in the pursuit of pu­ssy. Some would call me manipulative, but I'm not exactly playing in the major leagues. Besides the standard push-pull/hot-cold stuff (one girl remarked that she couldn't tell whether I liked her from one day to the next) I recently invited a girl I'm fu­cking, a girl I used to fu­ck and a girl I'm fairly sure wants to fu­ck me, with the vague aim of inspiring some healthy jealousy in the first two. It wasn't a particularly complicated or clever plan, nor was I particularly attached to the outcome, and measuring its success was difficult. The only relevant feedback I got was the current's observation that the former was shooting her dirty looks, and my observation that the former was friendlier than usual the next time we met, which I choose to believe means the seeds of sexual competition anxiety were successfully sown.

As for the act itself, the only things which come to mind are knowingly sleeping with girls who had boyfriends or husbands, which is standard fare, and, recently, having sex in a cemetery, which I venture is at least a little depraved if not "f­ucked up".

Far from fu­cked up, but my warmest memory of my ex is pounding her face into the sofa, slapping her ass so hard her mother probably felt it, and then taking her an­al virginity. The best part is, she said she'd never do anal again, so I may very well be the only guy to ever fu­ck her a­ss. My personal flag-on-the-moon.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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@PlayerSupremo - I was ****ed up for a while in my life and all I attracted were ****ed up women.

I did the inner work on myself and no longer attracted those types of females.


This actually is quite insightful. All the chicks I have embarked on serious LTRs with have had major residual issues. It makes me realise I still have inner work to do also.

Cheers.
 

SmooveMooves

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IBreatheSpears said:
I can't think of anything particularly shady I've done in the pursuit of pu­ssy. Some would call me manipulative, but I'm not exactly playing in the major leagues. Besides the standard push-pull/hot-cold stuff (one girl remarked that she couldn't tell whether I liked her from one day to the next) I recently invited a girl I'm fu­cking, a girl I used to fu­ck and a girl I'm fairly sure wants to fu­ck me, with the vague aim of inspiring some healthy jealousy in the first two. It wasn't a particularly complicated or clever plan, nor was I particularly attached to the outcome, and measuring its success was difficult. The only relevant feedback I got was the current's observation that the former was shooting her dirty looks, and my observation that the former was friendlier than usual the next time we met, which I choose to believe means the seeds of sexual competition anxiety were successfully sown.

As for the act itself, the only things which come to mind are knowingly sleeping with girls who had boyfriends or husbands, which is standard fare, and, recently, having sex in a cemetery, which I venture is at least a little depraved if not "f­ucked up".

Far from fu­cked up, but my warmest memory of my ex is pounding her face into the sofa, slapping her ass so hard her mother probably felt it, and then taking her an­al virginity. The best part is, she said she'd never do anal again, so I may very well be the only guy to ever fu­ck her a­ss. My personal flag-on-the-moon.
I mean, a cementary fūck is kinda fūcked up bro. Not saying I wouldn't do it though.
 

BrainDamage92

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I ****ed my bosses daughter on the nightshift on cameras she was begging for it basically nothing more to say well only that she was holding on the desk at one point and pressed the emergency button and a dude came i was like i done ****ed up he was like whats up saw smiled walked away ;] i also had to pull pants up and service 2-3 clients while doing it couse it was a gas station ;] she was also a squirter this was a dream of hers apparently (extremely perverted) I made it happen *while cheating on a serious GF* and for that and many sins i payed later in one way or another and I wasted alot of time for nothing basically im smarter now

but **** that shi was wild
 

JonnyD123

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This girl I was seeing for about 6 months let me borrow her car while she went on vacation. Ended hooking up with 2 other girls IN the car while she was gone, including one on the night she came home. Better believe I thoroughly cleaned the **** out of that car.
 

stevo

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My friend introduced me to a girl that he liked but she just kept throwing sexual interest my way. I ignored it for a bit cos of my friend but there was this day we all went to party, got sheet faced, me and this girl decided to take a walk outside.

We got to this garden right by the road, we sat under a tree as cars drove by.

I grabbed her and before you know it, condom's wrapped and it's a go.

Funny part is while I was drilling her, I noticed a dude was standing on the other side of the tree (same fcuking tree) just watching real life pawn and I couldnt pull out and ask him WTF so I ignored him standing a few feet away and kept drilling.

Not too long after, here comes the cops.

I pulled pants up before they got to us, condom still on.

They asked, we told them we were just talking, they believed UNTIL they saw the condom wrapper on the grass a few feet away.

Boy that was something. SO CLOSE to getting locked up cos of pussie.
 
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