Am I doing something wrong?

[SingAgn]

I've had a bunch of first dates in the last 3-4 months since getting divorced. A few have progressed into 2nds and 3rds, but nothing past that yet. I think I'm doing really well with getting dates (and I'm using online sites) and moving to getting phone numbers and doing the teasing and funny texts to build on to first dates. It seems like I'm funny on the dates also as they usually seem to be laughing and at the date's close I am always going for a kiss, sometimes earlier in the date. The dates are generally lasting anywhere from 2-4 hours. A few are progressing to the 2nd dates as I mentioned, but the ones who seem most interested and engaged and even the most affectionate are the ones that are often declining 2nd dates even after they said yes at the end of the first dates to my desire for a 2nd date.

My question: Do these women not know what the hell they want? Do they just get caught up in the moment, but decide later on to move on to the next guy in their inbox? I personally am not caught up in feeling bad about it as I'd rather know if she is flaky or crazy right away. My concern is that somehow I am not appearing congruent in person and that is what is driving up the number of declines for 2nd dates.

I'm focusing on escalating things sexually during the date now, but I'm wondering on some level if I should keep the first online dates as more a meet and greet. Also, I wonder if I should even be asking for a 2nd date on the first one or if I should let the women wonder if I am going to ask them out again. Also it seems like the women may be afraid to say no in person and they'd rather do it through text than in person.

Any thoughts?

 

[PlayHer Man]

Yup you're doing A LOT of things wrong:

1. Going on "dates".

-- You should meet the woman somewhere to feel her out and see what she is all about before worrying about spending money and showing her a good time.

2. Pandering

-- You are focusing on what the woman wants rather than what you want. What are you looking for? Sex? A relationship? FWB? Another wife? Act accordingly. But if you're looking for another wife you're a moron.

3. Online Dating

-- This is where the rejects and attention wh0res of the female gender gather.

4. Trying to Bond

-- Being "funny" and "teasing" are all strategies to help you bond with a woman. While I support some of the PUA community's teachings, one thing I don't support is hoop jumping or mind games of any kind. If you don't feel like teasing then don't. If you're not funny, don't try to be.

I believe its a man's job to initiate the first interaction and initiate sex, while its a woman's job to bond and seek a relationship and commitment from the man. You should be going for women you want to f*ck and calling, texting and meeting with them as a way to f*ck them. Then continue f*cking them. If they want a relationship or a bond they can earn it by seducing you. Otherwise, just f*ck them.

 

[Golden Arms]

Yup you're doing A LOT of things wrong:

1. Going on "dates".

-- You should meet the woman somewhere to feel her out and see what she is all about before worrying about spending money and showing her a good time.

This is what intrigues me as I've been trying to increase my ROI lately.

I agree, wasting $ on a chick who's not going to **** you sucks, but how exactly do you do that ? Ask her to have a chat on a park bench ?

 

[TheCWord]

This is what intrigues me as I've been trying to increase my ROI lately.

I agree, wasting $ on a chick who's not going to **** you sucks, but how exactly do you do that ? Ask her to have a chat on a park bench ?

Coffee, man. $5 max.

 

[Golden Arms]

Coffee, man. $5 max.

Yeah. I guess there's nothing wrong w/ a drink then either, loosen her up a bit.

But drink usually turns into a couple, etc...

 

[SingAgn]

I haven't been spending money or if I do we split it. Learned my lesson my time when I met for drinks, was hungry and $100 down the drain on someone with no energy. Thanks for the support. Got a potentially longer date tonight set up, but after that just a meet and greet.

Not looking for another wife. I want sex and an activity partner. If I come across the right woman maybe more, but not now. I think I've been texting some of them too much also and I'm going to cut down on that also.