Always learning....

[MisterSisterFister]

So this is more of a rant or something I have learned now...

So I have been reading on this board for a while now but had finally registered so my name looks fairly new but I learned so much just from reading. Anyways to the story!

So for the last couple years everything has gone pretty smooth I have learned alot thanks to you guys. Then I found this new chick I have been with for quite a few months now.

Everything was going really good and I started feeling like I could let down my guard a little bit. But slowly her insecurities and my reassuring her got to her head and turned the tables. Its funny because for a while I thought she was the "one" was not really much games lots of sex. But if you see my last post that is when this all started....

So now I am stuck here back at step one it feels like as an AFC. I have noticed she doesnt want to do as much as I do, not as much sex (which in turn makes me want it more? I do not know if it is a control thing or what? but it almost makes me angry when she makes an excuse not to wanna f*k) which she never made excuses ever in fact at first I could hardly keep her off my d!cK

Hardly texts anymore and now ignores ("forgets") my texts... Really sucks...But now time to get my head out of my ass... **** had my stomach in nots and worried and over analyzing and the more I analyze the worse it gets...

So now I am pulling back a little bit and regaining my frame of mind and going to try to take back my control. For it is not a womans fault for being this way as would it be a horses fault to go the wrong direction? NO you gotta grab the reins and guide them..

So this is what I am going to try and do. I will not be so lovey dovey I will try not to be so upsessed with getting sex I am going to do my best to drop the AFC ****...

Which brings me to another question.. I read on another post somone saying something along the lines of men being so upsessed with sex?

Why do you think that is?

I mean sometimes I can go with not wanting sex at all?

But then I started working out again and I am horny all the f*cking time I can mast***te like 4 times and still want sex?

Sincerely

Mister Sister Fister....

 

[PrettyBoyA]

The reason she's lost interest and you've gained interest is because you've shown her that she's got you.

In turn you're actually makings things worse because you know you don't have her and you're actually becoming more needy.

Power = interest

She has more power than you and therefore you want her more than she wants you.

To reverse this is simple: the person who cares least in the relationship has more power

Stop showing neediness. Stop getting mad or showing too much invested emotion. Don't show jealously. Stop being in a mood.
Start 'forgetting' to text her. Don't leave repeated missed calls. Start always being in a fun, carefree mood. Start seeing your friends all the time instead of her. Start talking to other girls more.

The downside of course is when you actually have the power, you'll get bored very quickly just as she has.

 

[MisterSisterFister]

I feel like your advice is spot on thank you!!

 

[Atom Smasher]

You need to turn the tables on her and reclaim your power by withdrawing. There is no other way.

She can sense that you are relying on her for validation on one level or another. I think you need to strongly convey that you have a life that you have designed for yourself, and that she is just one adjunct to that life. Burn that thought into your head until you absolutely believe it. And until you absolutely convey it by how you conduct yourself with her.

Since I want to help you and I don't care if you get mad at me, I want to tell you that the word is "obsessed", not "upsessed".

Gotta say, you have one of the most imaginitive and witty screen names I've ever seen on a forum.

 

[Greasy Pig]

This is a classic scenario.

Man games woman. Woman's IL is high and libido strong. Woman tries to impress man by fvcking him all the time. Man gets complacent, stops playing the game, forgets his "code" because he's getting his d1ck sucked regularly. Woman starts to see that she is definitely the man's only source of intimacy. Woman starts to get turned off as the challenge is no longer there. Man reacts by thinking he has to placate her or impress her in order to re-ignite her sexual fire. Woman gets turned off even more and wonders what the hell happened to her aloof, steadfast and challenging man. Woman assumes the power role and makes man's life a living hell.

The only option, as others have said, is to turn the tables and start her hamster running on that fvcking wheel again.
DO NOT try to initiate sex any more. This just feeds her ego and reaffirms her sense of power over you.
Start heading out with your buddies again and contact her less.

This of course assumes you want to stay with her. I'd seriously consider chalking this one up to experience and ditching her.
That is the ultimate power play.

 

[sodbuster]

NEVER let up...even in MARRIAGE. the second you drop your game and relax...she'll think she's running the show and become your "mother" that you have to ask for permission to do stuff. After a bit, divorce

 

[Samwild]

Women are obsessed with sex, not men, change your thought process. How is this true? You yourself mentioned that in the beginning of your relationship she couldn't stay away from your c0ck. Like all good things that you have access too you get bored of it and this holds true for men. The difference here is in her brain and the brain of many misguided men (myself included for a long long time) women have been anointed with the lie that they are sexually superior to men because of the golden pu$$y and the ability to bear children. Due to this, pu$$y is rationed and anything rationed goes up in perceived value. Course, hypocrisy comes into play with the multitude of contraception available, but try telling that to a women who has been sold the lie that they are "princesses".

Live well and prosper :box:

 

[MisterSisterFister]

You need to turn the tables on her and reclaim your power by withdrawing. There is no other way.

She can sense that you are relying on her for validation on one level or another. I think you need to strongly convey that you have a life that you have designed for yourself, and that she is just one adjunct to that life. Burn that thought into your head until you absolutely believe it. And until you absolutely convey it by how you conduct yourself with her.

Since I want to help you and I don't care if you get mad at me, I want to tell you that the word is "obsessed", not "upsessed".

Gotta say, you have one of the most imaginitive and witty screen names I've ever seen on a forum.

I am working on implementing this as we speak thank you! Obsessed I always spell that wrong I have no idea why ha ha!! Thank you I like my name as well ha ha!!

The only option, as others have said, is to turn the tables and start her hamster running on that fvcking wheel again.
DO NOT try to initiate sex any more. This just feeds her ego and reaffirms her sense of power over you.
Start heading out with your buddies again and contact her less

Hmm so Do not initiate sex? This really feeds there ego? How so could you go more into depth on this one? I figured initiating sex would show my dominance and telling her what I want! But do explain more I want to learn as always!

NEVER let up...even in MARRIAGE. the second you drop your game and relax...she'll think she's running the show and become your "mother" that you have to ask for permission to do stuff. After a bit, divorce

I am slowly starting to realise this sad but true truth.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I am working on implementing this as we speak thank you! Obsessed I always spell that wrong I have no idea why ha ha!! Thank you I like my name as well ha ha!!



Hmm so Do not initiate sex? This really feeds there ego? How so could you go more into depth on this one? I figured initiating sex would show my dominance and telling her what I want! But do explain more I want to learn as always!



I am slowly starting to realise this sad but true truth.

I guess by 'initiating', I mean initiating in a pleading, mewling, begging kind of way.
I always believe if you have to ask for sex, you're fvcked.
Definitely just grab her, push her up against the wall and initiate in that way. Just don't verbalise it, that's what I meant.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Consider that women want security and provisioning from men.....but they have to trade sex for it. Once they stop trading sex, you owe them nothing.

Danger, you're hitting them out of the ball park lately. Another great point.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Law 16: Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

OP, been there, done that. There's a thread on here somewhere about my last GF and that's exactly what happened--over did it, she took power frame because she lost her 'aloof traveling man'...

AGH.

Look man, this sh1t takes time and you're going to make mistakes!

You may fall back to AFC habits just as the man losing weight eats a donut.

It's cool brah, there's always tomorrow.

Take Rollo's and other's advice--withdraw--truly, if you can't build back up her IL, start looking elsewhere. That might shock her, and truth be told, why waste time when sh1t starts going this direction? It's much easier to PREVENT than it is to FIX, from my experience.

 

[MisterSisterFister]

Man you guys are giving me a lot of great advice! A lot to chew on and think about... I have already started implementing most the advice on here