alpha male vs. beta male

[seabreeze]

Someone please explain the binary opposition between alpha male and beta male to me in terms of male and female relationships. In my experience, a lot of the guys who might be characterized as beta end up being very alpha in the long run (i.e. the passive-aggressive male: is he beta or really alpha?). But, maybe my concept of what the two really are and the difference btween them is incorrect. Could the type of DJ expert that employs the ganji game tactic be characterized as a beta male to a woman when he's really an alpha? I think women may have this whole thing mixed up, don't you? Pontificate please.
SB

 

[squirrels]

The difference is that the beta CARES what you "characterize" him as. The alpha doesn't give a sh!t.

It's the difference between "thinking" and "knowing".

And women have a LOT of things mixed up.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Alpha males are usually confident men who are used to being leaders and having other men look up to them. A lot can be very arrogant and ****y, but the majority are cool and nice to everyone as they have nothing to prove and do not feel threatened by anyone.

Beta males are men who are forced to be subservient and submissive to the alpha males. This results in them either being pushovers, or bitter men with foul tempers and irritable natures.

 

[seabreeze]

Ya, i see what you tow are saying. I've heard women talk about the "nice guy" like he's some sort of beta male, when it appears that he is quite the opposite. I think sometimes women confuse quiet confidence as "nice guy" beta male tendencies. Frankly, I've seen and experienced more "nice guys" break women's hearts than the so called aggressive alpha male. Beta male type guys scare me now.
SB

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Originally posted by seabreeze
Ya, i see what you tow are saying. I've heard women talk about the "nice guy" like he's some sort of beta male, when it appears that he is quite the opposite. I think sometimes women confuse quiet confidence as "nice guy" beta male tendencies. Frankly, I've seen and experienced more "nice guys" break women's hearts than the so called aggressive alpha male. Beta male type guys scare me now.
SB

Now I'm confused.

 

[frivolousz21]

this is all MOOT!

why?

because im not alpha or beta

Im a DELTA!!!!!

hehe

 

[MindOverMatter]

if you put 10 guys into a room together for a week, at the end of 7 days, they will all be following 1 guy. that guy is alpha.

as for the whole alpha/beta and women, i generally dont think about it. being alpha has little to do with attracting women, and more to do with eliminating other male competition.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
if you put 10 guys into a room together for a week, at the end of 7 days, they will all be following 1 guy. that guy is alpha.

as for the whole alpha/beta and women, i generally dont think about it. being alpha has little to do with attracting women, and more to do with eliminating other male competition.

it is to do with attracting women, they are attracted to the ocnfident guy, the alpha is confident, but it is the fact that he has control and power that are the real factors.

 

[huge_guy_pimpin]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
if you put 10 guys into a room together for a week, at the end of 7 days, they will all be following 1 guy. that guy is alpha.

as for the whole alpha/beta and women, i generally dont think about it. being alpha has little to do with attracting women, and more to do with eliminating other male competition.

if u put 10 guys into a room together for a week, they will end up either fighting or bein faggits unless theres gambling n beer involved.

 

[seabreeze]

Scrum...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm afraid of men who appear to be beta males. I don't view the nice, quiet type guy as a pushover weak guy, like some women do. Sometimes these types of guys are damn brutal!

MindOverMatter

I would imagine that this alpha/beta dynamic plays out very clearly in an all male setting. But, I'm just not so sure that it applies in the male/female relationship. But, I could be wrong...the supposed beta male in an all male setting is often not very beta at all when it comes to the ladies.
SB

 

[Matt Rogers]

I have always seen alpha males (the popular, sporty types who everyone thinks is cool and looks up to) surrounded by women, while the beta males get less women. If most men look up to you and you have always been popular, aren't you likely to be very confident? And women definitely find that and the social proof attractive.

Unless beta males have something like good looks, money or something else going for them they are usually beta with the ladies.

And yeah behind the quiet, "nice" exterior some can be very insecure, bitter, misogynist and downright nasty.

 

[Alpine]

I think you are all putting people into highly defined categories and then magnifying the traits of the architype. In realility, these things are much more fluid and less clear cut.

By definition the majority of males fall into the non alpha category. To say all these people are, irritable, nasty bitter etc. of course is untrue, just look around.

The sporty jock thing? Put him in an intellectual environment, would he still be the alpha?

Whilst this site is good for blokes who are complete wusses with women, I think it breeds a contempt and oversimplification of the issues realting to dominance.

 

[seabreeze]

Matt,

Actually, I think among the more intellectual, religious, and business like settings the beta male types are more popular. This is my area of experience. I've learned the hard way that both types have their areas of influence. A jock type wouldn't be taken that serious at all around the type of people I know UNLESS he was intelligent to boot. Big, masculine type guys often wear there masculine power on the outside. The more reserved type guy often ACTS masculine, that is, he pulls that s--t out when you least expect it---just when you thought he was a nice guy. AND nice guy beta types usually get the girl by acting like the underdog OR acting like he's just not that interested. Passive-aggressiveness works, believe me I know all too well.
SB

 

[Marcopolo]

Alpine beat me too it, but I think the Alpha/ Beta thing is way oversimplified, especially outside of high school. I think that if you want to categorize things in this manner there are probably several different "types" of men. For instance, there is what I call the "thinker" type man. These people are the source of virtually all of humanities advances, or movements, yet many if not most are not natural leaders. Some examples are Plato, Aristotle, Leonardo, Einstein, Marx, Confucius, Freud, Voltaire, Mozart, Edison, the Wright Brothers. Not one of these people were leaders in the Alpha sense. In fact, I can think of great leaders who are not "Alpha"- The Buddha, Nelson Mandela, and Gandhi come to mind, as does even Jesus if you are a humanist and consider Him from a human pespective and not a religious one.

 

[m4a1]

Is being alpha a trait or a habbit?

I mean, you guys seem to suggest that in a group of men, there can only be ONE alpha male... but if you take that alpha male and put him in another group, he may become beta. What you guys are suggesting is akin to saying that no man is 100% alpha, and that there's a scale on how "alpha" you are, it's not like you're either alpha or beta, anyone can be alpha if put in the right situation, and any alpha can be beta if put in the right situation.

 

[seabreeze]

Marco & M4a1,

I think you guys are right on the money. I really see a problem with this sort of classification anyway. I wonder why it's even considered a valid way to distinguish men from one another. I've seen both traits (so to speak) exhibited in both "types" of men.
SB

 

[gruby]

in a group of men there are 2 leaders. 5 oyt of those 10 guys is gonna go with one while 3 will go with another.

 

[Interpol]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
if you put 10 guys into a room together for a week, at the end of 7 days, they will all be following 1 guy. that guy is alpha.

This is true and this is the best definition of Alpha you will ever get. People who say "alphas do this, alphas don't do that" are really just espousing their own opinions. The only real characteristic of Alpha is simply being the leader that naturally emerges over time.

 

[squirrels]

Also, the alpha-beta scale is NOT absolute. It's possible for for there to be, say, three people where between A and B, A is alpha, between B and C, B is alpha, and between C and A, C is alpha.

Which means in the group of the three of them, not one of them really excels as the proverbial "alpha male".

 

[seabreeze]

So, possibly what I suspect is true: the alpha/beta dynamic disappears when it comes to male and female relationships. Likewise, it's too various to make absolute even in male/male relationships. Isn't also possible that one guy might be the alpha male one day and the next day it could be another guy?

I think for women, we choose a man based upon what we personally feel is alpha and not so much on what is dictated by society. At least mature women do.
SB