Alone vs. Roommates; Making My Dad See My Way

[Abbott]

Currently I'm a college student. I'm also going to be living alone.

My father is upset because living alone costs more than living with someone else, since it's financially cheaper to divide the cost of a two or three bedroom two ways.

Even though I know this, I think that the advantages of living alone far outweigh the financial cost savings. Unfortunately, my father only seems to see things from a money point-of-view, and how to do it cheaper. He doesn't even seem ever consider other issues to be of any importance.

Once, I asked him if he would live in a ghetto with gangs and such if it was cheap. He claims that he would. I doubt it, since he's never actually lived in such a place. I haven't either, but I know that I would consider that completely unacceptable. I have a hunch he would think so too, but he just can't see it.

He even said that he'd live in the equivalent of a broom closet, and that he could live out of a backpack. I shot back with "Next thing I know, you'll say that living in a car is acceptable."

Right now, he can't see why I'm seriously resistant to share a living space with someone else. To me, if it's not family they can't stay with me. After I move, my parents be 150 miles away, which is too far to commute. The nearest relative apart from them is over 800 miles away (cousin in NJ). No, I don't have any siblings so I cannot stay with them.

Fortunately, I was able to get the one bedroom apartment and I'll get to live alone. But next year when the lease ends this argument will no doubt come up again, and another fight will talk place when I live alone again.

Is there anyway to get him to see things my way?

P.S. If you, like my father, think I'm an idiot for demanding I live alone, I request you refrain from posting flames directed towards me. They don't achieve anything of useful value.

 

[DJDamage]

The one thing you didn't address in your post was: Who is paying for all of this?

If are depended on your parents for tution and living expenses then its up to them to call the shots.

If you are paying for all this, then its your call.

 

[spider_007]

....and what's the reason you don't like roomies????

you a loner or what???

P.S. If you, like my father, think I'm an idiot for demanding I live alone, I request you refrain from posting flames directed towards me. They don't achieve anything of useful value

In other words; tell me what i like to hear or don't say anything at all

 

[Fred Da Head]

....and what's the reason you don't like roomies????

you a loner or what???


In other words; tell me what i like to hear or don't say anything at all

I think he meant "if you're not going to bring any constructive point, shut the hell up."

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with roommates per se, but I can definately see where he's coming from. I had, over four semesters, one good roommate that I got along with great and who didn't piss me off constantly, one who was a complete retard and who dropped out, and one who I almost ended up killing because he was a complete f**ktard. This semester, I have a roommate who only has a room because of the bureaucracy; he stores a few things in the room but he's basically never there, especially outside of class hours. I gotta say, it's awesome, and a googolplex times better than having a roommate.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The one thing you didn't address in your post was: Who is paying for all of this?
....

Ummmm, would his dad care if he wasn't footing the bill?

 

[DJDamage]

Ummmm, would his dad care if he wasn't footing the bill?

If that is the case then I have no sympathy for Abbot situation. Making your situation more "comfortable" on someone else's expense is not cool. What ever happen to be grateful that your parents are forking up large sums of money so you can go to school and all you think about is that you desereve more? because after the age of 18 your parents don't owe you sh1t and can rightfuly kick you out of their house and lives.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If that is the case then I have no sympathy for Abbot situation. Making your situation more "comfortable" on someone else's expense is not cool. What ever happen to be grateful that your parents are forking up large sums of money so you can go to school and all you think about is that you desereve more? because after the age of 18 your parents don't owe you sh1t and can rightfuly kick you out of their house and lives.

I'm right with you on that. :rockon: I seriously believe that it's this sense of entitlement by kids in the US which is the cost of the majority of their personal problems nowadays. I love seeing these 21, 22 and 23 year old college students who have never worked a day in their lives. Their the ones who don't understand that just because they get a degree doesn't mean that they are entitled to make $80,000 a year. WTF are they thinking, they don't have any work experience!!!!

 

[Fred Da Head]

I'm right with you on that. :rockon: I seriously believe that it's this sense of entitlement by kids in the US which is the cost of the majority of their personal problems nowadays. I love seeing these 21, 22 and 23 year old college students who have never worked a day in their lives. Their the ones who don't understand that just because they get a degree doesn't mean that they are entitled to make $80,000 a year. WTF are they thinking, they don't have any work experience!!!!

Yeah, that's a great logic. You can't get a job because you don't have work experience. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU CAN'T GET THE JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE? Seriously, I looked, for grins (I already have a job), at ads for jobs in different fields that interested me. ALL of them require previous experience "in a related job."

I agree there's a problem with entitlement, but there's also a problem with a job market that requires experience before you can have experience. Heck, entry-level jobs require experience, now!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yeah, that's a great logic. You can't get a job because you don't have work experience. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU CAN'T GET THE JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE? Seriously, I looked, for grins (I already have a job), at ads for jobs in different fields that interested me. ALL of them require previous experience "in a related job."

I know it was a while back but my first full time job in corporate America while I was an undergrad involved me using a toothbrush, a yardstick and a can of WD-40 (I kid you not). It was the bottom rung of the ladder but that industry allowed me to eventually make a six figure salary. The fact is that you can't start at the top nor the middle. You have to just find a place to start and then prove your worth. Most young adults don't understand that.

 

[Fred Da Head]

The problem is there's a dislocation between school and the workplace. It's expected that if you only finish high school, you'll get a "high school-only" job (janitor and the like), and if you get a bachelor's degree, you'll get a low- to middle-level job, and so on. So when you finish your bachelor's degree, you expect to get an okay job, but instead you're basically told you have to go do menial labour and work your way up. However, if you start by doing menial work, you won't get higher up in the hierarchy. It's a bit of a problem, I'd say.

 

[spider_007]

Yeah, that's a great logic. You can't get a job because you don't have work experience. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU CAN'T GET THE JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE? Seriously, I looked, for grins (I already have a job), at ads for jobs in different fields that interested me. ALL of them require previous experience "in a related job."

You start at the bottom. I started sweeping the floors...moved up to running the machines....and now i'm a drafter in engineering.

you got to put in your time.

there is a diference between that is in the book and the reall world.... Most companies don't want somebody who is book smart, they need somebody who knows the short cuts, who knows the little tricks of the trade...

this is all of topic...

/

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

... So when you finish your bachelor's degree, you expect to get an okay job, but instead you're basically told you have to go do menial labour and work your way up. However, if you start by doing menial work, you won't get higher up in the hierarchy. It's a bit of a problem, I'd say.

There's the problem. Someone tells you that you have to do a particular thing for a set amount of time and you believe it. You do it without enhancing yourself, you just bide your time until.... (however long that may be)....

Time passes, you hope that someone will notice that you've been putting in your time and that you deserve a chance to move up. Business doesn't work like that. Chances aren't given without some type benefit which the business already sees, it must be something that can be quickly actualized.

But unfortunately, all you've done is bide your time. You haven't grown or taken any initiative to show that you can do more; that you can make the company money.

So there you are, doing what you've been doing all along; expecting more without displaying your worth. Sounds a lot like an AFC who believes that he can f-close a woman without approaching her. Hell, he hasn't even made eye contact.

 

[MetalFortress]

Currently I'm a college student. I'm also going to be living alone.

My father is upset because living alone costs more than living with someone else, since it's financially cheaper to divide the cost of a two or three bedroom two ways.

Even though I know this, I think that the advantages of living alone far outweigh the financial cost savings. Unfortunately, my father only seems to see things from a money point-of-view, and how to do it cheaper. He doesn't even seem ever consider other issues to be of any importance.

Once, I asked him if he would live in a ghetto with gangs and such if it was cheap. He claims that he would. I doubt it, since he's never actually lived in such a place. I haven't either, but I know that I would consider that completely unacceptable. I have a hunch he would think so too, but he just can't see it.

He even said that he'd live in the equivalent of a broom closet, and that he could live out of a backpack. I shot back with "Next thing I know, you'll say that living in a car is acceptable."

Right now, he can't see why I'm seriously resistant to share a living space with someone else. To me, if it's not family they can't stay with me. After I move, my parents be 150 miles away, which is too far to commute. The nearest relative apart from them is over 800 miles away (cousin in NJ). No, I don't have any siblings so I cannot stay with them.

Fortunately, I was able to get the one bedroom apartment and I'll get to live alone. But next year when the lease ends this argument will no doubt come up again, and another fight will talk place when I live alone again.

Is there anyway to get him to see things my way?

P.S. If you, like my father, think I'm an idiot for demanding I live alone, I request you refrain from posting flames directed towards me. They don't achieve anything of useful value.

If you're paying for it, you call the shots. If he's paying for it, he calls the shots. That's all there is to it.

 

[Serialized3]

First of all, all the people I knew that lived by themselves in college were asocial nerd weirdos, or were horribly horribly lonely most of the time. Roomates aren't perfect, but a lot of the time it's nice to come home and have some people to chill with. Have you ever lived alone before? You might be calling home to daddy due to lonliness...

 

[backbreaker]

i like living by myself, but i'm with your dad on this one. You want to have as little outgoing debt as possible, regardless of whoose paying it. more money for clothes, good food that's good for you, savings, etc, instead of living paycheck to paycheck. **** living by yourself (while in school).

 

[Caesar20]

are we talking about living alone or just alone in your own room? if it's #1, i don't really see what the problem is about (unless you are a geek with no sense of order, cleansiness & such). on the other hand, i'd rather be alone in my room, mainly due to the fact that i've never shared a room before as a child (except with my sister, but that wasn't the same) and have a few of strange habits, or at least in the past years (sleepwalking, talking in sleep)

 

[ScrewIt]

The one thing you didn't address in your post was: Who is paying for all of this?

If are depended on your parents for tution and living expenses then its up to them to call the shots.

If you are paying for all this, then its your call.

Exactly thats what im thinking. Is this guy spoiled or something?

Let me tell you Im graduating this month, I have been in college for 5 years and have been living at home. Finally next month im moving out with a friend, with the money he and I saved up working over the course of our undergrad school years.

You have no idea how good you have it to have your parents pay for your living expense, have you no shame? and you dare demand to have an apartment to yourself? pfft

Anyway the idea of living with someone can be frightening at first, but usually most people are cool and its simple to do a background check on them. You also learn to deal with people...who knows it could prepare you for the day a gf lives with you. Not only that but roomates help improve your social life (if you guys get along), as everyone has friends and so on and so forth.

 

[dot]

Pay for it yourself or don't complain. **** at least tell him you'll make up the difference.

 

[Berlex]

I lived in the dorms for four years...two with a roommate, two by myself. My grades were actually BETTER when I had a roommate. I had terrible roommates so I would go to the study lounge and study to get away from them. It was nice have my own room, but I spent less time studying and more time sitting on my ass.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

whoever is paying for it should make the decision