Ah Shiet, She's Pregnant!!!

[Halcyonique]

That's not his choice, that's her choice and if she wants to keep it, then tough sh*t for the OP. He should have thought about this outcome prior to deciding not to use a condom.

Men who screw chicks without protection deserve everything they get for being so stupid in the first place.

"Stupid is as stupid does".

Are you serious?

Thought needs to be on this potential life here rather than petty vengeance for the father.

If that kid has a sh!t father because "lol teh dad had sex so nao he deserves that kid for teh lulz", that innocent child will bear the brunt of that mess.

Jesus Christ.

 

[Iceberg]

LOL exactly. "I think 29's about right" is one of the worst reasons for having a kid with a woman you barely know.

Plus OP...what kind of mother is she gonna be if she lies about taking the pill and made you go bareback??

Disregard religion, abort now. For the good of yourself, the woman and the baby.

That's another good point.

Who is this woman who you're trusting to raise your heir?

I'm not saying that when my time comes to produce a child, that I'll have everything planned out. Life doesn't work that way. But still....

 

[JonJaper]

Are you serious?

Thought needs to be on this potential life here rather than petty vengeance for the father.

If that kid has a sh!t father because "lol teh dad had sex so nao he deserves that kid for teh lulz", that innocent child will bear the brunt of that mess.

Jesus Christ.

Dude that's the law in most Western countries. Women have a legal right to make the decision whether to keep the baby or abort it...men don't.

Halcyonique, please don't psychoanalyse this post for God's sake LOL.... "Stop being defensive bro....I think you're a profoundly troubled soul that needs healing, your comment on the abortion laws in Western countries shows a deeply sublimated hatred of women...you need to focus on yourself. Oh yeah and a woman's opinions on dating women might be really useful guys" etc haha.

 

[Halcyonique]

I do want to keep the baby! It's nothing to do with her, it's because I am at an age where I want kids, also I think it's wrong to kill off a life that's just started.

I am not sure how she feels, because of her family situation I think she's leaning towards abortion. I will talk to her about it tonight.

Do you actually want a baby with a woman you barely even know?
Can you both afford it? Do you have the means of actually giving this kid a decent life?
Try not to just look at this from your perspective. Think of that kid..

If this were a conventional relationship with no kid, the likelihood is that in anything from a week to 3 years time (if you hadn't have broken up by then), you'll both find yourselves disagreeing with one another. You might even argue as you learn one another's differences. You might even find that you in fact detest one another.

Drop a kid into the equation and you have a baby witnessing all of that sh!t...
You don't even really know one another right now.

Even previously well-matched couples find pregnancy and bringing up a kid hard, draining and testing work, so how will YOUR relationship survive this?

If you have this baby, you will be learning about one another as this baby grows up by the hands of you BOTH.

Whatever you do, DON'T look upon this situation as a way of it benefiting YOU (as in, "the age I am right now seems like a good age to have kids", etc).

If she won't get an abortion (though if I were you I'd try damn hard to convince her that this is NOT a good idea), you'll just have to do your best.

Best of luck.

 

[Htienvu]

I've read all your opinions and understood everyone's point! I've thought it through and I try convincing her to keep it. Abortion has always been wrong in my books, not because of religion, it's my own set of beliefs. I am financially sound and understand all the complications involved! Let's see how things turn out after I talk to her. Like I said, will respect her decision regardless.

Thanks everyone.

 

[perseverance]

Credit and respect where it's due, you're a man because you're prepared to take responsibility for your actions. If she does keep it, then I wish you all the best and I am confident that you'll make a sound parent. Though I hope this thread highlights just why it is important to use condoms irrespective of the (lack of) feeling they cause when having sex.

 

[AlexDP]

I've read all your opinions and understood everyone's point! I've thought it through and I try convincing her to keep it. Abortion has always been wrong in my books, not because of religion, it's my own set of beliefs. I am financially sound and understand all the complications involved! Let's see how things turn out after I talk to her. Like I said, will respect her decision regardless.

Thanks everyone.

No. You haven't thought it through. You are not capable of thinking things through. It's not your fault though , you simply don't have the skills. Your decision is rash, emotional and is going to hurt a lot of people in the short run.

That being said, you could eventuually make a good father. The odds are against you as everything you've done up till now is pretty damn stupid and I'm not banking on this toddler having any sort of meaningful life, but I suppose anything is possible. Best of luck.

 

[JonJaper]

No. You haven't thought it through. You are not capable of thinking things through. It's not your fault though , you simply don't have the skills. Your decision is rash, emotional and is going to hurt a lot of people in the short run.

That being said, you could eventuually make a good father. The odds are against you as everything you've done up till now is pretty damn stupid and I'm not banking on this toddler having any sort of meaningful life, but I suppose anything is possible. Best of luck.

This. Future mom lies about taking the pill so future dad goes bareback...and future dad only wants the kid because "29 seems like the right age to have one". Future parents barely know each other.

End well, this will not lol.

 

[Serg897]

This is one of the most absurd threads I have seen in a long time. The OP is acting like an idiot thinking that its a good idea to raise a child with a woman he barely knows. He's got a misguided mentality thinking that he can dive into a serious relationship involving a kid with this woman and it will end with them living happily ever after.

What I suspect is really going on is that he is just desperate to pin this woman down with him and is using the pregnancy as leverage. It wont work.

 

[Htienvu]

This is one of the most absurd threads I have seen in a long time. The OP is acting like an idiot thinking that its a good idea to raise a child with a woman he barely knows. He's got a misguided mentality thinking that he can dive into a serious relationship involving a kid with this woman and it will end with them living happily ever after.

What I suspect is really going on is that he is just desperate to pin this woman down with him and is using the pregnancy as leverage. It wont work.

That is absurd, why would I want to pin any woman down! I know what I have in my life, I know how capable I am to raise a kid. Financially, emotionally stable enough with a good family behind me why can't I raise a kid? You guys talking like I am some kid just turned 18, I understand and thought about everything that is involved with having a child. I know that I haven't known her for that long to consider it, but hey! Shiet happens, when it happens to you you just got to deal with it.

Well, had a talk with her and will keep the baby, hopefully there's no complication with the pregnancy at this early stage.

 

[Htienvu]

No. You haven't thought it through. You are not capable of thinking things through. It's not your fault though , you simply don't have the skills. Your decision is rash, emotional and is going to hurt a lot of people in the short run.

That being said, you could eventuually make a good father. The odds are against you as everything you've done up till now is pretty damn stupid and I'm not banking on this toddler having any sort of meaningful life, but I suppose anything is possible. Best of luck.

If I am a good father and I will be, why wouldn't my kid have a meaningful life?

 

[J Roc]

Congratulations on 216 Monthly Child Support Payments!

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Congratulations on 216 Monthly Child Support Payments!

Well, I hear that 29 is a good age to have a child with a girl you barely know who lies about being on the pill.

 

[Htienvu]

Congratulations on 216 Monthly Child Support Payments!

Little background on the girl; she's 28 years old, overseas student, family owns hotel and businesses back home which she was running until she wanted to get a masters in business here in the UK. She's paying £13k to do a master this year, I own my own shop with decent income but she is much more well off than I am.

She don't need child support! it's a stupid mistake I've made by not using a condom but I will deal with it by my own beliefs. This has got nothing to do with the girl.

 

[Iceberg]

Little background on the girl; she's 28 years old, overseas student, family owns hotel and businesses back home which she was running until she wanted to get a masters in business here in the UK. She's paying £13k to do a master this year, I own my own shop with decent income but she is much more well off than I am.

She don't need child support! it's a stupid mistake I've made by not using a condom but I will deal with it by my own beliefs. This has got nothing to do with the girl.

I wish I still had such an innocent view of the world.

It's not about need. It's about the fact that she can have it.

We don't live in a world of women who think, "I don't need to leech $5,000 a month from my ex, so I'll just get by on my own income." It's more like "$5,000 in free money just for getting knocked up? Sure, I'll take it."

Okay...I don't want to paint women to be THAT evil. It's just that once she starts seeing her own bank account dwindle, and once she hears stories of you dating other women, and moving on with your life, she'll start to take the "entitled" approach that all women go down. "I'm watching this kid 70% of the time. I put on 25 pounds from getting pregnant. I'm less desirable to other males. He OWES me extra money."

They won't think of it as stealing your money. They'll justify what you "owe" them...and whatever the lawyer can throw on top of that, they'll get that too.

Things could go great between you and this woman. I'm not trying to take the typical Sosuave, women-are-the-devil viewpoint. But you gotta go into this with open eyes.

Not trying to belittle you. Just giving you something to think about.

 

[Htienvu]

I wish I still had such an innocent view of the world.

It's not about need. It's about the fact that she can have it.

We don't live in a world of women who think, "I don't need to leech $5,000 a month from my ex, so I'll just get by on my own income." It's more like "$5,000 in free money just for getting knocked up? Sure, I'll take it."

Okay...I don't want to paint women to be THAT evil. It's just that once she starts seeing her own bank account dwindle, and once she hears stories of you dating other women, and moving on with your life, she'll start to take the "entitled" approach that all women go down. "I'm watching this kid 70% of the time. I put on 25 pounds from getting pregnant. I'm less desirable to other males. He OWES me extra money."

They won't think of it as stealing your money. They'll justify what you "owe" them...and whatever the lawyer can throw on top of that, they'll get that too.

Things could go great between you and this woman. I'm not trying to take the typical Sosuave, women-are-the-devil viewpoint. But you gotta go into this with open eyes.

Not trying to belittle you. Just giving you something to think about.

That's cool, I appreciate thoughtful opinions. I am going to go into this with open eyes. This could be great or it could turn very sour, I've thought about both side of things. Maybe my thinking has got to do with the Oriental culture approach to things, we're on different wavelengths when it comes to personal/family situations.

 

[J Roc]

Little background on the girl; she's 28 years old, overseas student, family owns hotel and businesses back home which she was running until she wanted to get a masters in business here in the UK. She's paying £13k to do a master this year, I own my own shop with decent income but she is much more well off than I am.

She don't need child support! it's a stupid mistake I've made by not using a condom but I will deal with it by my own beliefs. This has got nothing to do with the girl.

It doesnt matter what you think she doesnt need. she may get mad at you one day,file for child support and you are screwed buddy. :kick:

 

[BigJimbo]

If she was a school girl this would be a cool story that I would be willing to buy from you. As it stands, you should get your "love handle" checked for fungus.

 

[JonJaper]

Well, had a talk with her and will keep the baby, hopefully there's no complication with the pregnancy at this early stage.

bertstare.jpg

...

At the moment I'm waiting for the "HELP...girlfriend left me and won't let me visit my kid guys...what should I do??" thread.