Ah Shiet, She's Pregnant!!!

[Htienvu]

I've only been seeing her for a month a half, she's the first one I didn't use a condom with. She said she will get the pills, never should have listen to what women say. Now she's pregnant, most likely 3 weeks in.

We've just found out yesterday, we haven't had a chance to talk through what to do yet. It seem as though she wants to get rid of, she asked me to find out about abortion pills.

As for me, I am in two minds. I've only started being intimate with her for about a month so we don't even know each other that well to keep a baby, our feelings for each other is still unclear too. On the other hand I am 29 soon and feel that time is catching up with me, I wouldn't mind having a kid after all. If we keep the baby and things don't work out between us it's going to be a messed up situation.

Well, I am going to have a talk with her tonight about what to do, any opinions? I know whatever I say to her it will be her decision regardless. Just feel like telling someone, can't tell anyone in RL about this.

 

[Von_S]

Abortion. Do not hesitate, do not get religious and sentimental, just do it. Do it now.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm an accident. Some of us turned out ok. And although it may be rare, I think my dad might be financially ahead on me as an investment, in that I helped him a lot later in life. Regardless, you still get someone to carry you back and forth to pee when you get too old and sick to move. That's worth something.

As you said, it's her decision and not yours, so it really doesn't matter what you want. The best thing you can do is to keep a positive attitude regardless of what she decides.

 

[Racecar]

All of a sudden the other problems we discuss on this forum seem insignificant.

I don't know much about these kind of things, but I hear introducing children into a turbulent relationship is a bad idea. Then again, it's not like you can pause life to get to know the child's mother...

Think about ALL the positives and negatives to fatherhood. I wish you the best with whatever decision you come to!

 

[Z Man]

Please consider adoption!

The girl I was dating in 2010 got married without telling me( to her ex ), then when I ran into her 6 months later she was planning on putting her baby up for adoption because she was in the process of a divorce/annullment from the guy she married.

I have seen her more recently and she showed me photos on her phone of her daughter that she gets limited visitation with. She agreed with me it is for the best that her daughter is being raised in an adoptive home with two responsible adults( she is 23 ).

I dodged a bullet there I believe..

I will reserve my opinion about abortion, other than to say that you may be able to "get over it" but she now has a lifeform growing inside her. It will likely haunt her for the rest of her life if she goes through with choosing that. If she aborts, then stays in a relationship with you she will resent you for it, but if she wants the abortion and you decide against it, she may still resent you for not supporting her. Either way you can't win and your relationship won't be the same now..

Why did you forget to use the condom?

 

[Diaforetikos]

Go the adoption route. Don't let your guy's mistake kill the potential of something cool. In the end, I'm spitting advice and not the end all solution. Your choice and hers... Mainly hers.

 

[perseverance]

Abortion. Do not hesitate, do not get religious and sentimental, just do it. Do it now.

That's not his choice, that's her choice and if she wants to keep it, then tough sh*t for the OP. He should have thought about this outcome prior to deciding not to use a condom.

Men who screw chicks without protection deserve everything they get for being so stupid in the first place.

"Stupid is as stupid does".

 

[HalfAddict]

water balloon full of ammonia will do the trick....

 

[Htienvu]

That's not his choice, that's her choice and if she wants to keep it, then tough sh*t for the OP. He should have thought about this outcome prior to deciding not to use a condom.

Men who screw chicks without protection deserve everything they get for being so stupid in the first place.

"Stupid is as stupid does".

I totally agree that it was STUPID, like I said she's the first that I have not used condoms with. I had the condom in my wallet, she said she's on the pill and I was stupid enough to go with it.

If she decides to get rid of the pregnancy there's nothing I can do about it; If she wants to keep it then I won't be too worried either, I am financially stable, getting a house soon and run my own little shop. My mom's been waiting for a grandkid as well so for me it's be all ends all.

Adoption will never be an option, to tell you the truth I don't want her to get rid of it because I always thought it's wrong to do such a thing. It's her choice anyway, I will respect that.

 

[Htienvu]

I will talk to her tonight and tell her how I feel about it, tell her to keep the baby and look to the future. If she decides not to then I will respect her decision, maybe after that we go our separate way.

 

[Yo'Mama]

That's not his choice, that's her choice and if she wants to keep it, then tough sh*t for the OP. He should have thought about this outcome prior to deciding not to use a condom.

Men who screw chicks without protection deserve everything they get for being so stupid in the first place.

"Stupid is as stupid does".

Perseverance who never made a mistake. You utter hmong.

 

[Halcyonique]

If you BOTH WANT it, have it.

If one of you wants it and the other doesn't, abort.

You don't want a kid growing up in a life in which one parent doesn't want it.

 

[Htienvu]

If you BOTH WANT it, have it.

If one of you wants it and the other doesn't, abort.

You don't want a kid growing up in a life in which one parent doesn't want it.

I do want to keep the baby! It's nothing to do with her, it's because I am at an age where I want kids, also I think it's wrong to kill off a life that's just started.

I am not sure how she feels, because of her family situation I think she's leaning towards abortion. I will talk to her about it tonight.

 

[Serg897]

Abortion. Do it ASAP if she is willing. A blastula is not a human being and taking care of a kid with a woman you JUST MET is the last thing you want at this point in your life. Its absolutely insane to consider having the child.

 

[Aaron B]

insist on a paternity test

what's so crazy about him having a kid at age 29? trashy stupid people manage it just fine, i'm sure he'll be okay

 

[NotAgain]

Just don't make any rash decisions. Even give it a week to discuss. The babys not going anywhere and atleast you guys will be over the stage where you make the decision based on emotions.

Thanks for answering my post by the way. It is nothing compared to this so I hope you guys get through it smoothly.

 

[perseverance]

Perseverance who never made a mistake. You utter hmong.

Oh I make mistakes, I just don't make mistakes as big as this type of mistake, because I think with my brain, not with my penis. That is what separates me from a lot of men. If I don't have a condom on me, then I am not having sex, it's that simple. I don't care if the woman is using a femidom and is on the pill, my penis is not entering her vagina.

Nice insult, how old are you? 34? I'd be embarrassed if I was you, very embarrassed.

 

[JonJaper]

By law...it's the girl's decision to abort or keep, not yours. In the UK (not sure about other countries), the father has pretty much no legal right on the matter.

But even if you have some input into the girl's decision...abort mission.

Some people are accidents and it turns out well, but having a kid changes people's lives and so is something you usually want to give a lot of thought to.

 

[Iceberg]

I do want to keep the baby! It's nothing to do with her, it's because I am at an age where I want kids, also I think it's wrong to kill off a life that's just started.

I am not sure how she feels, because of her family situation I think she's leaning towards abortion. I will talk to her about it tonight.

Since you're actually living this situation, and I'm only reading about it, I'm sure you've given it plenty of thought.

But I keep getting this impression that you're over simplifying things.

"I'm 29, and I wouldn't mind having a kid." "My mom's been asking about a grandkid."

It's not just a kid you're having. It's 18+ years of involvement with a woman you barely know. It's paying for the kid out of your own pocket PLUS any type of child support this girl might want to throw at you.

It's not just Htienvu and Htienvu Junior playing catch in the backyard. There are far-reaching effects from all of this that go beyond you simply being financially stable and 29 years old (by the way, you're a male....you can produce healthy children well into your 50's).

This is something that will impact your family, your finances, your dating, your work, your vacation...everything. So I'm hoping that your thoughts about this are beyond "Oh well, I'm 29, so this seems like a good age to have a child with a woman I've kinda liked for a month."

 

[JonJaper]

Since you're actually living this situation, and I'm only reading about it, I'm sure you've given it plenty of thought.

But I keep getting this impression that you're over simplifying things.

"I'm 29, and I wouldn't mind having a kid." "My mom's been asking about a grandkid."

It's not just a kid you're having. It's 18+ years of involvement with a woman you barely know. It's paying for the kid out of your own pocket PLUS any type of child support this girl might want to throw at you.

It's not just Htienvu and Htienvu Junior playing catch in the backyard. There are far-reaching effects from all of this that go beyond you simply being financially stable and 29 years old (by the way, you're a male....you can produce healthy children well into your 50's).

This is something that will impact your family, your finances, your dating, your work, your vacation...everything. So I'm hoping that your thoughts about this are beyond "Oh well, I'm 29, so this seems like a good age to have a child with a woman I've kinda liked for a month."

LOL exactly. "I think 29's about right" is one of the worst reasons for having a kid with a woman you barely know.

Plus OP...what kind of mother is she gonna be if she lied about taking the pill and made you go bareback??

Disregard religion, abort now. For the good of yourself, the woman and the baby.