ah crap.. venting time.. feel free to ignore

[MrNiceGuy]

bollocks, the one night in ages I'm feeling confident and on top of my game and I get stuck talking to the most boring chick imaginable....

basically had been out with some friends last night, she brought a couple of her mates along too.. got talking to one who I've met before and I'm quite interested in, was starting to think I'd have a got at pulling her later in the evening and feeling ok about it (every time I looked at myself in the mirror in the toilet I was still 100% happy with my appearance). then some guy turns up (I think he was just a mate not a bf but thats irrelevant) and basically she stops talking to me and winds up talking to him the rest of the evening, this pisses me off a bit but I dont let it bother me, it just makes me more determined to have a go with some other chicks when we hit the club.. plus I could still have a go with her on the dancefloor..

anyway on the way to the club, this girl I like and my friend both decide to go home so they can be up early in the morning, so theres 3 of us left, me, another of my friends mates (ugly and already has a boyfriend) and this other guy.. so we go to the club anyway, I'm still in a top mood, initially a little dissapointed as it seems to be a complete bloke fest in there but after a while I spot a few honeys that aren't with other guys and are worth approaching, vow to finish my drink then hit the floor and have a crack.. but just as I'm finishing off, the girl and the guy I'm with decide they want to go to the bar downstairs and sit down get another drink, guess I should have said I was gonna stay upstairs on the dancefloor but I agree and go with them, thinking it'll only be for half an hour or so, then we'll go dance... end up down there for an hour or so just chatting.. then the guy decides he's going to go home.. he does.. the girl says to me "what shall we do now? another drink?" I say "well, I'm single, I'd rather go upstairs for a dance see what I can get." and she goes.. "oh the single life! been there done that " not in a way that suggests she doesnt want to go.. but then starts telling me all about how she met he boyfriend in a club and a load of other crap.. she wont shut up.. I'm just sat going, "yeah", "uh-huh", "oh really" etc. etc. and am bored to tears and by the time she finishes the club is chucking out...

the one night I really feel like I am the man, and have got the confidence to go and approach chicks without questioning myself and yet I'm not enough of a jerk to tell the girl to shut up and let me go dance.. ( i guess I'd have felt guilty leaving her on her own)

I hope this mindset though reflects my slowly changing attitude since being on this site and isn't just my reaction to this girl I fancied going home early.. hopefully I should feel like that again next time I'm out..

 

[Julian]

Dude why werent you just like "Will you excuse me, im in need of a dance". Then walk up to the dancefloor. Who cares what she thinks, its not like shes YOUR friend..Grow some cojones

 

[squirrels]

If you were a man, you would've done what you WANTED and not gotten dragged around by your friends.

The beta tells everyone about the independent actions he wants to take, the alpha male just does it.

You're overly concerned about what other people think of you. You have to learn to turn that off and just have a good time.

 

[Santos]

Interrupt while she's speaking, "Hey let's go dance". Get up and go. Or take her by the hand and go. If she prefers to stay and feel like an idiot, then that's her tough luck.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

Yeah, I should have just left her, like you said.. its not like she was my friend anyway, and she seemed more than capable of looking after herself..

I wasn't too bothered about going downstairs the first time to get some more drinks.. it was the fact we stayed down there so long that pissed me off.. part of the problem was I didn't realise how quickly the time was passing..

I guess the AFC in me was still there screaming, 'she's a girl, she doesn't know anyone else here, you have to stay with her to look after her'

despite the fact that I wasn't the slightest bit interested in her, and it was clear she could look after herself anyway...

still, I'm hoping my confident, 'I'm going to approach anyone, and I don't give a sh*t if I'm rejected mood' maintains itself when I go out in the future, and my mood that night wasn't a one off..

basically for the first time in quite a while I felt like I truly believed (rather than just trying to tell myself, which is what I'm normally doing) that...

• I was an interesting and attractive person who many women would want to be with (if only I'd ask them and make my prescence/interest known)
• approaching a girl and/or asking a girl for her number, was not a big deal
• if she rejected me, it wasn't my problem and I'd have no reason to feel bad about it
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  Whether I'll carry on consistently believeing these things I don't know.. but I sure hope so..