Agoraphobia/Social/Generalized/Anxiety

[OldGoat]

Greetings:
I'm a 21-yr old virgin, don't have many friends just one or two close friends and struggle making new friends because of my social anxiety. Now that I have sucessfully overcome some of my treatment for being diagnosed with agoraphobia and generalized/ social anxiety, I have no experience in the dating world plus no female friends. So now I come off as sexually desperate/frustrated/ or needy around girls. It's a concern for me because at a subtle level girls are coughing everywhere I go and are obviously repelled without even me being in the same room. How can I approach a solution?

 

[diablo]

Welcome to the forum. First you need to work with your psychiatrist and follow any advice he or she may give you. In conjunction with their recommendations for reading material, social 'exercises', and medicine you should also read the DJ Bible to help you change your mindset. You can find it located at the link below:

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb

 

[oakraiderz2]

Welcome to the forum. First you need to work with your psychiatrist and follow any advice he or she may give you. In conjunction with their recommendations for reading material, social 'exercises', and medicine you should also read the DJ Bible to help you change your mindset. You can find it located at the link below:

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb

Yea, i second this. If you say you have agoraphobia then you need to seek some professional help first and foremost.

 

[OldGoat]

Yea, i second this. If you say you have agoraphobia then you need to seek some professional help first and foremost.

Yeah, I have a residual of agoraphobia now that I had treatment for two years but I'm having touble making new friends let alone female friends due to my social anxiety. Thanks for the advice I think the DJ Bible will help overcome my sexual desperation ,I feel like a caveman just got out of his own prison.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

http://www.panic-anxiety.com

Go here, first. buy his program and fix yourself up.

This is the only "cure" for anxiety. anything else involving meds, psychiatrists and other such crap is just putting a bandaid over the problem.

I used his program to get over my anxiety and haven't looked back, since.

The key to overcoming anxiety is forgetting you have it. Doctors will want you to talk about the problem, constantly bringing it to the forefront. For anxiety, you have to do the opposite. Trick your brain into forgetting about the problem and eventually the nervousness will subside.

Depression and other mental disorders are different. but this stuff is nothing more than a habit. You're mind has programmed itself to be anxious and hence you've become agoraphobic. Break the habit, break the problem.

Once you get yourself on track, then start thinking about women.

 

[Macgyver]

Don't fight/avoid your fears, join them and relish them as part of your true self.

 

[everywomanshero]

Greetings:
I'm a 21-yr old virgin, don't have many friends just one or two close friends and struggle making new friends because of my social anxiety. Now that I have sucessfully overcome some of my treatment for being diagnosed with agoraphobia and generalized/ social anxiety, I have no experience in the dating world plus no female friends. So now I come off as sexually desperate/frustrated/ or needy around girls. It's a concern for me because at a subtle level girls are coughing everywhere I go and are obviously repelled without even me being in the same room. How can I approach a solution?

Until you solve that problem, I don't think you're going to have much luck. At least you're getting help instead of letting the problem get out of control. Congrats man, you're already way a head of so many guys out there who wallow around with a crippling condition.

Next, I suggest you devirginize yourself. There is two ways you can do this. I know I'll get flamed for it, but I'm dead serious about this. Get a big cardboard sign and write "THE 21 year old virgin: Please help devirgnize me" and stand @ a busy intersection. I bet some freaking hottie would shagg you if you do this for any length of time. By the way, do this out of town. Go ito bars with it if you are still a virgin by nightfall.

If that fails here is what you do: Go find a hooker and get devirginized. You've got to rid yourself of that virginity ASAP. This has went on for 21 years, I think it has to stop somewhere. Do whatever it takes.

 

[Julian]

Just hire an escort if you are having trouble getting laid.

Im moving tomorrow and plan on ordering 2 asian escorts within the first week just for ****s!

 

[Macgyver]

Just hire an escort if you are having trouble getting laid.

Im moving tomorrow and plan on ordering 2 asian escorts within the first week just for ****s!

I'm so proud of you little boy.

 

[Julian]

I'm so proud of you little boy.

thanks

 

[OldGoat]

http://www.panic-anxiety.com

Go here, first. buy his program and fix yourself up.

This is the only "cure" for anxiety. anything else involving meds, psychiatrists and other such crap is just putting a bandaid over the problem.

I used his program to get over my anxiety and haven't looked back, since.

The key to overcoming anxiety is forgetting you have it. Doctors will want you to talk about the problem, constantly bringing it to the forefront. For anxiety, you have to do the opposite. Trick your brain into forgetting about the problem and eventually the nervousness will subside.

Depression and other mental disorders are different. but this stuff is nothing more than a habit. You're mind has programmed itself to be anxious and hence you've become agoraphobic. Break the habit, break the problem.

Once you get yourself on track, then start thinking about women.

great, sounds like good information and very helpful of you all thankyou.

 

[OldGoat]

http://www.panic-anxiety.com

Go here, first. buy his program and fix yourself up.

This is the only "cure" for anxiety. anything else involving meds, psychiatrists and other such crap is just putting a bandaid over the problem.

I used his program to get over my anxiety and haven't looked back, since.

The key to overcoming anxiety is forgetting you have it. Doctors will want you to talk about the problem, constantly bringing it to the forefront. For anxiety, you have to do the opposite. Trick your brain into forgetting about the problem and eventually the nervousness will subside.

Depression and other mental disorders are different. but this stuff is nothing more than a habit. You're mind has programmed itself to be anxious and hence you've become agoraphobic. Break the habit, break the problem.

Once you get yourself on track, then start thinking about women.

ok, I forgot to mention that my agoraphobia diminished/dissolved when getting my first job a few weeks ago.
My concern is after getting the phobia handled, would making female friends be a wise decision. After having so many female friends and hardcore AFC traits in high school, I felt like a wimp now who got left behind and devoid the area in my life which is dating. Now in college, it's 4 years without any female or really new close friends like I have to start all over.

I ask because again, I have no relationship experience meaning never had a girlfriend and no I'm not ugly and never given a girl my kiss, declined an opprtunity,perhaps because of low confidence. People are intimadated by my looks, possessions and compliment me on apperance but doesnt help.
I do have a distorted self-image/low self-esteem problem as would my psychologist redundantly told me and just got old after a while. So my big concern is my desperation: I think I'm emitting/signaling this energy at a conscious and sub conscious level or whatever because everything I infer from social interactions to anything seems like an interpretation of sex in the back of my head.

 

[t_champ]

Just relax mate..

Think about it for a sec, youv'e got nothing to lose, if your giving off bad vibes women can pick up on it a mile away. Try focusing on conversation, ask open ended questions and I guarantee she'll talk 80 % percent of the time (About herself of course) And read up on body language so you can kinda de code what she sais. You must realise that this isn't an overnight process, it will take time, but hang in there big fella you'll get to where you want to be!!!

Cheers!

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

ok, I forgot to mention that my agoraphobia diminished/dissolved when getting my first job a few weeks ago.
My concern is after getting the phobia handled, would making female friends be a wise decision. After having so many female friends and hardcore AFC traits in high school, I felt like a wimp now who got left behind and devoid the area in my life which is dating. Now in college, it's 4 years without any female or really new close friends like I have to start all over.

I ask because again, I have no relationship experience meaning never had a girlfriend and no I'm not ugly and never given a girl my kiss, declined an opprtunity,perhaps because of low confidence. People are intimadated by my looks, possessions and compliment me on apperance but doesnt help.
I do have a distorted self-image/low self-esteem problem as would my psychologist redundantly told me and just got old after a while. So my big concern is my desperation: I think I'm emitting/signaling this energy at a conscious and sub conscious level or whatever because everything I infer from social interactions to anything seems like an interpretation of sex in the back of my head.

You may be reading too deeply into all this. Stop being so concerned about getting laid and start small. So you're a few years behind in your development.... so what? Don't expect to run before you can crawl.

You need to take baby steps and slowly escalate. Get out and make some firends.. get involved in social interactions. Take it slow. Get a handle on your body language. People can tell alot about you by the way you carry yourself. Focus first on projecting the proper tone in your movements.

It's really tough to get this across a computer screen but you need to focus on one thing, first, then move on to something else after you've mastered that one thing.

 

[insanity]

Agoraphobia/Social/Generalized/Anxiety, WOW those are some nasty issues.
i've been diagnosed with a few of those at one time. but it's all in your head.
something must have happened to you in the past to trigger those horrible illnesses.
it's sad but only two cures exsist and i tried them both.

1.this is no lie and from experience. alcohol....it seems alcohol either balances your chemicals in your brain and allows you to function normal. when you drink it mellows you anxiety and brings out the real you.

2.face your fears everyday. you never fully defeat Agoraphobia/Social/Generalized/Anxiety, you just learn to cope with it better.

or finally, beacome a musician. it's the one job you can show up drunk,stoned and late and put a good show on and people love ya. trust me it will wipe the fear from you.

but first really look back to the past. that is one of the keys to solving your problem. Agoraphobia/Social/Generalized/Anxiety, your not born with it.

 

[Monster]

but first really look back to the past. that is one of the keys to solving your problem. Agoraphobia/Social/Generalized/Anxiety, your not born with it.

Actually yes you are born with it, but that does not mean you can't get rid of it. 15 million Americans have SA to some degree or other. There are medications out there (anti-anxiety, SSRI's, MAOI's) that can help to control it although therapy has been proven to be the best method of ridding oneself of SA.

 

[wooly]

hey, im a SAer to, im alot better then what i was in high school. Its a ***** when trying to pick up women.

Do you go to www.socialanxietysupport.com ?

 

[OldGoat]

hey, im a SAer to, im alot better then what i was in high school. Its a ***** when trying to pick up women.

Do you go to www.socialanxietysupport.com ?

yes, I registered there a while back and visit often but the agoraphobia and panic was my main problem now I dont have it so bad as it was before. I read that many agoraphobics are like professional doormats because they allow themselves to be dependent on. As for medications like antidepressants, Im not too into them but would look into it later for difficult situations since medications doesn't change growth development. I think its silly to pop a pill for anytiime someone says "boo" to get adrenaline going through my body. I may have to find a male role model because I was raised by a single mother (passed away) and is a paradox because she was overbearing/overprotective/ borderline/histrionic/narcissistic perosn. Now that something bad happened for the best, I feel like it's part of my identity. I read a book on "Absent fathers lost sons" and the author stated his opinion:"to not have a father, is like to not have a back bone." Stereotype I know ,but it's a true idea when it comes to pride or masculine identity. sorrry for typing so much but I had to get it off my chest.