AFCs and RAFCs.. are people surprised when they realise how crap u are with women

[MrNiceGuy]

I guess this is just a demonstration of how there are so many different areas of confidence in our lives..

I've always (and especially in the past 3-4 years) been confident in most areas, except of course when it comes to dealing with women sexually or romantically (as friends as always been fine)..

but I've met a few people who have been genuinely surprised when they realise how little experience I have.. a new friend I made a while ago.. he got talking about relationships, and he was amazed when I told him that the longest I'd ever had had been for a week in secondary (high) school.

Similarly, a girl I met this time last year, I wasn't interested in her sexually and was just treating her like a mate (she had a boyfriend anyhow) but she still came out with.. 'I can't believe you haven't got a girlfriend, you're great' when I responded to a question about my love life (note, I wasnt whining or looking for pity at all, but I guess she could have been stroking my ego a bit)

One of my mates who is a bit of a DJ, assumed I was just as good with women as him when I first met him (this was before he saw me in action).

I dunno, I guess the lesson is, the only thing preventing me from getting any is actually asking.. which I've known for a while now.. its only recently though that I've actually started truly believing it though.. thanks to this site.. cheers everyone

 

[Cocoon]

Well my friend, what the hell are you waiting for?! Get out there, and tell us about when your sad, and happy, some people dont care some people do.... if you feel like it give me a email, im around your area

Averyh0tman@aol.com the "o" is a zero

 

[Phrozen]

Yeah, I've been through the same thing. The first girl I ever asked out thought I was this big time player and that was the main reason she liked me. Boy did I burst her bubble when she found out she was my first date.

 

[becker]

I think that this can be good or bad. It's good that women will see the good in you, but bad in that women tend to be suspicious of something that seems a little too good to be true. For example, a guy who is good looking, great personality, loyal, gentleman, the full package will likely not have that much success with women since they will always try to find some faults in him, and will be hard to convince that he is what he is.

I've sort of gotten this before, when girls ask me if I have a BF (usually a sign of interest). I tell them I don't, and they are totally surprised. Then, some show interest, but I'm not interested in them, so it makes it seem like something's wrong with me. I can be picky sometimes, and usually the girls I go for have BFs, not by choice, but again, the best girls are always taken, so if you want the best, you'll have to steal them

 

[MrNiceGuy]

I dont think I'm one of these too good to be true guys,

the point is I'm finally realising that actually I'm no different from any other guys my age, because clearly people I know dont think I am.. theres nothing seriously wrong with me, I'm no quasimodo or anything..

in the past I really needed a hell of a lot of convincing that a girl was interested in me.. essentially cos I was very AFC and didn't want to take any risks, of course if a girl showed interest I entertained the fantasy that she was, but never did anything about it, because I figured maybe she wasn't..

anyway I feel like I'm finally gaining the confidence to actually do something about all this.. next girl that shows a definite interest I'll be making a move, no more regretting what might have been.. and its time to start creating interest too, so hopefully I should be doing more approaches from now on too..

Phrozen, what happened with this girl you asked out.. did she lose interest when she realised you weren't this big player or accept you as you were? As far as I'm concerned it doesnt matter too much cos at least then you're off the starting block as it were, and if she nexts you for that she's not worth the trouble, but I'd be interested to find out what happened.