AFCness is a deeply ingrained disease that can re-surface at any moment

[Dongfu]

The quest to rid yourself of AFC traits may be a more difficult, insidious life long challenge than you previously thought.

Here is my premise which results from recent events:

The level of existing, hidden AFC qualities which reside deep in your personality can be forced to the surface by a female who is able to activate them. AFC is like a disease that retains the ability to re-infect you long after you have cured or treated it.

You may feel that you have completely recovered from being an AFC when, Bam!!, some woman comes along who may be much more advanced in the game than you, and has the ability to frustrate you and make you feel like a chump.

It has been quite a while since I have felt frustrated or average with women. Recently however, I have met my match. The female in question is extra ordinary. Aside from being extremely beautiful, she cooks amazing food, massages me all the time, buys me stuff, takes me places, is never *****y, never clingy, never puts any expectations on me, and on and on. She has almost every quality I look for in a woman.

Now for the catch. She is a master seductress of the coquette variety. See art of seduction by robert greene if you are not familiar. Coquettes are basically hot and cold. The allude to the pleasure they can provide, give you a taste, and then hold back for a time, until they give you a little more. Robert Greene says coquettes are the ultimate seducers, and are nearly impossible to escape from.

This is the second time I have ever fell under a seductresses spell. I escaped the other one, but now this one is working hard to catch me in her web. The strange thing is that I am enjoying the particular challenges she is offering, but at the same time, she is surfacing some AFC qualities that have lived deep inside me.

I feel if I just forget her and move on, the AFC remnants will go back into hiding, and cause me problems again in the future. It seems my only choice is to stick this one out, navigate very carefully, remain extra alert, and use this situation to painfully weed out what is no good.

Has anyone else experienced this post AFC regression. If not, it is likely that you just have not dealt with a truly formidable opponent.

 

[KontrollerX]

A king knows when to pick his battles wisely.

Engaging an enemy with superior forces with your own forces that are inadequate is not a wise idea.

Instead back away and harness your power to unleash it on a weaker enemy.

She is the predator in this situation and you are the prey and you know it.

This one's a losing battle to proceed with and there is no honor or moral victory in continuing it if you sense she is more powerful than you can mentally handle.

This is where being a mature man comes in.

A mature man can make a decision that is right for himself and disengage but a prideful boy will continue to fight a losing battle.

Which will you be?

Make your choice.

 

[Vendetta081789]

I too sir have recently resurfaced some AFC traits I thought I had long hidden. While KontrollerX is VERY correct in the appropriate action, I personally plan to stick it out and see if I can maybe out flank her when she makes a mistake.

 

[redspicyflag]

Like herpes?

 

[Vendetta081789]

Lol nice...

 

[KontrollerX]

What you propose to do Vendetta081789 could be valueable in so far as a learning experience with this type of woman is concerned.

What you have to keep in mind though is that a woman far out of your mental and games playing range is always thinking of her next move as games playing is what she's all about 24/7.

If you are not that same way and you manage to "outflank her" and then things go great for a good long time you can prematurely shout inside "Victory!" when it is anything but as she is busy biding her time and planning her next big devastating move to put all the power back in her hands.

So when you play this game being a gentle "man" of a formerly AFC persuasion as most of us on this message board are you risk not only getting played by her but by your own over confidence (via DJ wisdom) and AFC personality traits that you didn't even know you had left over that caused you to go left when you should of gone right for actions concerning her.

Actions that would of brought you victory but the hidden AFC you didn't even realize you had in you to eliminate caused you to make the wrong decision at a critical moment in the game.

So if you follow me with all that I just said this is why natural born games playing men are the best suited to deal with natural games playing women as games playing is this type of man and this type of woman's lifeblood and reason for living when the rest of us quickly tire of such a mindset and overlook things because of our natural born personality.

 

[Vendetta081789]

I do indeed follow what you preach. You put things in well terms. I am not a natural born game player at heart. I seek the women who don't play games. Although, I do like to play a game of chess every now and then. Being a Leo, I have a natural born ABUNDANCE in confidence, and have forced myself to learn to control the anxious beast inside.

 

[Dongfu]

Nice post bro.

A king knows when to pick his battles wisely.

Yes, but winning easy to moderate battles can get boring. Even a king likes a challenge.

Instead back away and harness your power to unleash it on a weaker enemy.

Or, harness it to "weaken" the enemy.

My strategy at this point is to retreat. But my retreat must also be a blow. I believe that every move you make should be dynamic and multi purposeful. I am going to tell her something like this, and feel free, anyone to help me edit this:

"We have spent a fair amount of time together, and although I am enjoying our interactions, I feel I need a little bit of space to meditate on where we are, and what direction is the most appropriate and beneficial for our relationship to proceed. Because this will be difficult if we continue to see each other as frequently as we have been, I would like to take a break for a little while. When I reach a decision, we can discuss these matters further.

Again, this is off the top of my head right now. In the moment that I let her know I need some time off, I will say what I feel she needs to hear in that moment.

 

[Unprez]

Dongfu is right on....walk away with honour and c if she chases u

 

[j0n024]

Maybe you should take control and then dump her with the power instead of letting her dump you, plus I dont think you should say "Meditate," lol that sounds funny. Just say "You were a lot of fun for a while but you got boring," she is a seductress and if she thinks she lost a guy cause she was boring she will want to know what she did that was said "Boring."

 

[KontrollerX]

I'm with Kontroller.

Women like this are not the type to waste your energy on. A girl like this should be for sex only, and it sounds like it's too much work to get it.

When she wins the war, she will break open the cage where you have placed your AFC qualities. AFC qualities don't die, they only get locked away.

Good post Danger and I'd like to reiterate that even if a certain person re-awakens those unfortunate dormant AFC qualities in you or even the entire AFC side of your personality re-emerges this does not erase or do away with any of the DJ work you've done on yourself.

Basically what I'm saying is the DJ work doesn't get erased by falling into the AFC mindset or even of itself mean that your DJ qualities are just masking the AFC who you really are. What I'm saying is both the AFC you grew up as being and the DJ are very real and equally valid parts of you and if you are not careful to feed the one you want to show itself the most in your life the other one that you do not want to appear can creep up and destroy you.

I think Dongfu said this in his opening post and you believe this too Danger but I wanted to make it clearer for all the brothers out there that both AFC and DJ are real and equally valid parts of yourself and your true personality after you've done the work to become a DJ and slipping back to the personality of either AFC or DJ doesn't mean well hey thats what I really am all along and slipping proves it.

All it means is you've fed the side that is now dominant in your life and neglected feeding the personality that you would find most beneficial to your life which most of us believe to be the DJ personality.

 

[reset]

A mature man can make a decision that is right for himself and disengage but a prideful boy will continue to fight a losing battle.

Good point. Some times you have to know when to say "not worth it".

 

[mikeyb]

Or, harness it to "weaken" the enemy.

My strategy at this point is to retreat. But my retreat must also be a blow. I believe that every move you make should be dynamic and multi purposeful. I am going to tell her something like this, and feel free, anyone to help me edit this:

First of all, props for seeing things clearly and staying objective.

I agree with the idea behind your so-called retreat, but if she's as "perfect" and experienced as you said, she might just move on to the next guy. She won't waste time pursuing you if she thinks that you want out. On top of that, are you absolutely sure that she isn't genuine? IMO, you have to keep her on her toes but not push her away completely.

Why not use her own weapons against her? Make her think that you're falling for her, do some nice things for her, convince her that she has control, and then be cold and aloof for some time, and maybe have her see you with other women. The "push-pull" thing, basically. I don't see why you can't have some fun of your own with this girl . I don't think that the time is right for you to withdraw completely yet, as she may simply ignore you and move on to someone else. If you want this femme fatale (other than for just sex), you're going to have to show her that she doesn't have any control over you, and even that you might have some control over her.

 

[BipedGod]

You are in control, not her. Now that you recognize her tactics, cut her short, right when it is going well...break contact, if it pisses her off so be it, you are in control...NOT HER. You must clearly demonstrate you are emotionally stronger than she is, then she will fall under YOUR spell.

 

[BipedGod]

Vendetta, if 8-17 is your b'day we share the same...and it IS unfortunate many were not blessed with our extraordinary level of confidence, though you are old enough to be my son, look forward to a life of unexplained success in life and an understanding insight other marvel at.

 

[Dongfu]

then be cold and aloof for some time, and maybe have her see you with other women. The "push-pull" thing, basically.

Already in progress. Yesterday I invited her to my, and several of my friends birthday party. I pretty much remained very neutral, talked mostly with other people, ignored her for the most part, and spent sufficient time flirting with the other women there.

When I left, instead of saying I'll call you later, I just briefly thanked her for coming, and moved on to thank the other guests. I could see she was a bit ruffled, but she is playing hard ball.

Here is some other info on this girl I haven't mentioned yet:

Things she has said:

"I dont want to have sex yet. I want to fantasize about it for a while." That was two weeks ago, shortly after we met. It seemed like a good idea, but I think it's been long enough.

"I have been very promiscuous in the past. Now I like to take the time to get to know people first." Blah blah blah.

"I am looking for a partner to have children with." Upon explaining that I have no intention to have kids with her she agreed we could be sex partners until that someone comes along.

"You are not a suitable boyfriend." Referring to fact that I wont impregnate her. I agreed with her, stating that I dont want to be anyones "bore friend" or "Has been," husband. I said I want to be your "champion" She really liked that.

"Aw, he's frustrated." She said this after I attempted to slightly escalate kino one night, and she shut me down. Can you believe that? I told her she was lucky I liked enough to forgive her for that comment.

 

[Technical1]

"Aw, he's frustrated." She said this after I attempted to slightly escalate kino one night, and she shut me down. Can you believe that? I told her she was lucky I liked enough to forgive her for that comment.

Wow, thats a whole nother level of "female manipulation masquerading as being cute-and-clever". She truly must be a master of the art of Twaat-Kunt Do, she knows how to parry even the expert blows dealt by your Dong.

Have you considered the possibility that she's doing it for your buildup of feelings, not her own? Obviously she's got you totally fascinated, by the language in your post.

By the way, do you think you could get her to register on SoSuave and give us seduction advice? No but she really seems to know what she's doing.

 

[sav]

its easy to deal with females like that.. dont give them what they crave... that is attention and validation... she seems to have issues concerning her past...

you should do the hot cold approach on her and see how fast she crumbles... you have made your intentions clear... if she doesnt like it... YOU will have to move on...

 

[Dongfu]

Wow, thats a whole nother level of "female manipulation masquerading as being cute-and-clever". She truly must be a master of the art of Twaat-Kunt Do, she knows how to parry even the expert blows dealt by your Dong.

Have you considered the possibility that she's doing it for your buildup of feelings, not her own? Obviously she's got you totally fascinated, by the language in your post.

By the way, do you think you could get her to register on SoSuave and give us seduction advice? No but she really seems to know what she's doing.

This is precisely why I am calling on the united forces of the entire brotherhood. Her Twaat-Kunt Do :crackup: is a fearsome force, the likes of which I have never experienced in battle. She IS the jade dragon who hails from deep in layer of seduction. But behind that armor of wit and manipulation, she is still just a woman. And where there is a woman, there is a way.

 

[reset]

the AFC mindset or even of itself mean that your DJ qualities are just masking the AFC who you really are. What I'm saying is both the AFC you grew up as being and the DJ are very real and equally valid parts of you and if you are not careful to feed the one you want to show itself the most in your life the other one that you do not want to appear can creep up and destroy you.

Wow this is awesome and good to hear. I thought that since my last oneitis went so bad (at least in my mind it was bad) that I had somehow been a phony because I wasn't able to maintain the DJ mindset that got me so far with her to begin with. I was really beating myself up like I had failed. But even DJ's make mistakes.