Advice - Worthy of Third Try?

[blackops]

Hello,

I am new to the Don Juan forums, but I have been following Doc Love for some time. I am in a situation and could use some advice.

After breaking up with my girlfriend of two years, I decided to get back onto the dating scene. I met a (married) girl at a party who insisted I get setup with her friend, Caprice. She gave me Caprice's number and I waited a week to call. Caprice and I went to a local, classy wine bar. We hit off - shared laughs, jokes, and she was giving me buying signals (getting close, stares, talked about going out again). I kept it cool and did not reciprocate. At the end of the night, I walked her to her door and gave her a kiss on the cheek. As I walked away, she gave me a big smile and stare that said "Can't wait to go out again".

After waiting a few days, I setup a date for the next week (with no talking in between). This time we went to dinner. I was a gentleman the whole time (opening doors, etc) and allowed her to do most of the talking. The dinner went by nicely, but she wasn't giving me buying signals this time. As I walked her to the door, she went for a hug, and I made a mistake and asked her for a kiss. She said "yes" and give me a gentle, short kiss. We said goodnight and I left. I did not feel any passion in the kiss, and I am beginning to question whether she felt obliged to do it.

Also, for both dates, I paid for both bills, and also paid for the cab rides, etc. Which I absolutely do not mind paying, but she has not even offered to pay once.

All of this begins to make me wonder whether she is a "professional dater". That is, she is simply going out with me because I'm wining and dining her, and perhaps she isn't that interested. And why wouldn't she? Everyone likes to be wined and dined.

I believe I have two options:

Option 1: Wait a full week to call her again and take her out on a free-date (assuming she accepts)

Option 2: Wait for her to call me. She hasn't initiated anything since the beginning - am I too harsh to expect her to do so?

There may be other options - please let me know your thoughts - really appreciate it!

 

[Bible_Belt]

You should have fvcked her the first night when she was horny. On the second date, her mood and hormones were just in a different place. Now she's bored, and it will all fizzle out.

Next time, with the next girl, just fvck her when you can. First date, third date, whatever. Her hormones are going to be the biggest factor anyway.

 

[Desdinova]

Caprice and I went to a local, classy wine bar.

This time we went to dinner.

BORING.

This is the type of 5hit you do when you celebrate an event with a woman you've been seeing for more than a couple of months and even then, you don't do it often.

You need to take the woman out and let both of your personalities shine. Pick an action date and have fun. Dinner and wine are for those without imagination and personality.

You may try a third date since it seems that she hasn't lost all attraction toward you. This time, pick an activity instead of adding a layer of fat to your guts and you'll see her come alive.

 

[blackops]

Thanks

Yes, I figured the potential third day would be more of an activity date.

Totally messed it up - you're right.

 

[Thundernuts]

And OP you were talking about being a total gentleman as well.

Dont be a gentleman. I'm not saying beat the crap out of her, but these dates with a girl that you hardly know kinda of like saying you are always gonna treat her to the best.

Can't happen man, I dont know what to tell you for trying to initiate the third date if the third date happens, you better go out and do something where you arent eating or drinking the whole time.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

How old are you two? Your date sounds like it came from the 50's. Where is the passion? Where is the excitement? Are you really into her physically? Or just going through the motions?

Why did you "play it cool"? That's stupid. If you want her, GO FOR IT. Stop playing hard to get. You're not a woman. It sounds like she was into you, threw herself at you and you just sat back and said "meh".

Are you not physically attracted to her that much? If not, don't set up another boring date. She had high interest on the first date and you basically rejected her whether you realized it or not. Girls are really sensitive in that way.

Guys get told to "f*ck off" by girls and that's how we feel rejected. Girls feel rejected when they give you all the buying signals and you don't make a move. It is much more subtle, but the feelings are the same.

By the way, she isn't really supposed to initiate. That's a man's job. Even with my female platonic friends, whenever I ask them "what do you want to do?". The answer is ALWAYS invariably "I don't know, what do you want to do".

Let's recap gender roles here:

Women:

1) Give buying signals (eye contact/stares, smiles, etc)
2) Make yourself available (get physically close to the man, set time aside)
3) Go along with plans

Men:

1) Take the lead
2) ACT on buying signals (when she gets close, put your arm around her and gently lead into kissing and making out)

 

[Pimp-sicle]

And stop listening to Doc Love who still carries a Zac Morris sized cell phone and is clueless about women and dating in the modern era.







PIMP

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

And stop listening to Doc Love who still carries a Zac Morris sized cell phone and is clueless about women and dating in the modern era.
PIMP

The Zac Morris thing killed me! :crackup:

 

[blackops]

How old are you two? Your date sounds like it came from the 50's. Where is the passion? Where is the excitement? Are you really into her physically? Or just going through the motions?

Why did you "play it cool"? QUOTE]


Thanks for the advice. We are in our late 20s and yes, I am into her physically. The first date was a bit more casual - while it was a wine bar, it was happening. I agree with most responses that selecting a dinner date for the second date was a mistake - and it did kill the excitement and it felt as if we were going through the motions.

I will wait a few more days before calling to setup a third date - and this time an activity. I will let you know how it goes.

Thank you for all the support and advice.

 

[nismo-4]

How old are you two? Your date sounds like it came from the 50's. Where is the passion? Where is the excitement? Are you really into her physically? Or just going through the motions?

Why did you "play it cool"? That's stupid. If you want her, GO FOR IT. Stop playing hard to get. You're not a woman. It sounds like she was into you, threw herself at you and you just sat back and said "meh".

Are you not physically attracted to her that much? If not, don't set up another boring date. She had high interest on the first date and you basically rejected her whether you realized it or not. Girls are really sensitive in that way.

Guys get told to "f*ck off" by girls and that's how we feel rejected. Girls feel rejected when they give you all the buying signals and you don't make a move. It is much more subtle, but the feelings are the same.

By the way, she isn't really supposed to initiate. That's a man's job. Even with my female platonic friends, whenever I ask them "what do you want to do?". The answer is ALWAYS invariably "I don't know, what do you want to do".

Let's recap gender roles here:

Women:

1) Give buying signals (eye contact/stares, smiles, etc)
2) Make yourself available (get physically close to the man, set time aside)
3) Go along with plans

Men:

1) Take the lead
2) ACT on buying signals (when she gets close, put your arm around her and gently lead into kissing and making out)

OP, Read this again.

Stop listening to Doc Love.

 

[Gro0ver]

And spin more plates! Read up on plate theory if you haven't already.

And never ask for a kiss just do it! Asking is for pussies not real men.

Good luck man let us know how it goes!