Advice re: gaming in your 30's...needed + ex-gf bs

[cactus3178]

It's been a long, long time since I've been here. This place got me up and out of the BS, oneitis, destructive thinking and back on my feet - saved my sanity as well

Anyway, My question is about how the game changes, pickups, meeting girls...while in your early 30's. I'm 31, fresh out of a horrid flipping relationship of almost 3 years.

This time around, next to none of the pining, sick-feelin, oneitis BS I remember from the time before, thank God (and SS). Basically, it was a super-duper relationchip for about the first year...I stuck it out for 2 more like an idiot, she became violent, psycho, lied, stole from me (all these things I mean literally)...

I literally prayed to God to help me find a way to get her OUT of my life without major psycho drama...for the last 6 months of the 'relationship', I could hardly stand to be in the same room with her, let alone touch her or have sex...the fighting was epic.

And, after all the wack crap I put up with for reasons still unbeknownst to me...she, [drum roll] broke up with me!! AND started dating another dude about 1 week later (or she was before we split, I don't know and don't care)

Oh, the embarassment!!

So, I kicked her ass out right after we split and haven't looked back once.

I realize I'm rambling on, so this post has two parts:

1). My ex-gf is friends with the neighbor girl...and I see her on an almost daily basis. A few weeks after we split, we decided to try the best we can to be 'civil' toward one another, since we have many mutual friends. If she doesn't pop over unannounced, I get emails, phone calls....*****ing to me about how her new BF is a druggie, how things weren't so bad with 'us', blah, blah....I've told her on a number of occassions that I do not care and I don't want to hear it.

It's like she comes over to 'check up on me'...

She gets upset with me because she said (in her own words): "It's not supposed to be like this! You're supposed to want me back and pay attention to me" - this after I repeatedly blew off her comments about everything from wanting to have sex with me to getting back together.

Now, I don't want to be an ******* to her, but I took 4 months off 'girls' after her and I broke up, to get my own ****e together, clear my head, and not make another mistake with some other random broad....and I'm ready to get back in the saddle again. So how do I get her to leave me alone without coming accross as an *******?

2). How are things different when you're meeting girls in your 30's? Same scene? (Bars, stores, everywhere, etc)?

I just can't help but think that things are different now, since I wasted 3 years with that weirdo, now I'm 31 and I guess I just feel 'old'...mid-life crisis, lmao!!

I've got wheels, my place that's well taken care of, and I started working out, and trying to improve myself in every big and little way I can think of.

I've just got this weird feelingin the back of my head that I'm not sure I'm gonna meet the RIGHT girl, and I'm getting older. I feel like my 20's were my golden opportunity to find somebody cool, and I wasted it!! Now...I don't know how to describe how I feel about it.

So, somebody kick my ass and help me get straightened out again. I've fallen back in to this BS mindset and I hate it.

 

[MrLuvr]

You know what changes when you are in your 30s? You just become more conscious about the quality of women around you.

Other than that, if you are talking about game, talking to girls, how to meet them, how to approach them etc.. what changes and how you handle it is totally UP TO YOU. Women don't have a magic switch in their head that flips off when the guy they are talking to is 31 instead of 28.

And you haven't missed the boat so to speak. In your early to mid 30s you are in the perfect place to game those early 20s girls. You are even more equipped more than you were when you were 28. You are a MAN. You are just peaking. It is the single women in their 30s who have missed the golden opportunity. As a man, the game has only just begun.

And just to put it in perspective for you, today at the mall I number closed an HB9, university student, probably around 20 - 21 years old. Beautiful, intelligent, etc.. etc.. We chatted for over half an hour. Look at the age next to my profile, I have ten years on you. Don't worry about the age at all, the moment you start worrying about it, it will reflect in how you approach women. Just do the same things you been doing, only better.

 

[Mr. Me]

This is why I seriously can not see the point of living with a chick any more. Maybe after I'm with her for five years and everything's still great, then maybe. When things go south, it's a bit more difficult to oust them. Anyway, when you prayed to God to get her out of your life I'm surprised you didn't hear a voice say, "kick her to the curb and change the locks, my son". I threw my wife out. Took her keys and left her in the city. She came back a couple of weeks later - to pack her stuff.

Anyway, it sounds like Mr. New Boyfriend didn't work out for her so she's sniffing around you again. Just continue to be civil, but two seconds after saying "hey, how are ya?", say "Nice chatting! Gotta go. Take care!" and WALK. I don't give my exes the time of day, let alone more then a few seconds of my ear. I don't wanna hear their problems or their stories and I say goodbye. That should work for you too. Just be nice about it.

You meet girls everywhere, Get yourself into social situations where you can meet people, and meet people through other people. That's the best way. Incorporate a little online dating in there too maybe.

Working out and improving yourself is the best thing you could do for yourself, hands down.

This feeling you have though of possibly never meeting the right gal... listen, this is a FEELING you have. FEELINGS are not FACTS. It's an emotion you're giving yourself because you're thinking about that possibility and feelings follow thoughts. So you have to stop thinking like that. You're only 31, you've got a lot of life in front of you. You're only scaring yourself. 31, geez! You could go out with 25 year old chicks, what are YOU complaining about????

You did use up three years, true. Not a helluva lot, not so critical, but there's a lesson all the same: be more discerning. Next time, don't turn a relationship that's only good for one year into a three year gig.