ADVICE PLEASE! My roommate is going to ruin his life!

[otr4]

My roommate is considering going Alaska for the entire summer with this girl who he's MADLY obsessed with. This girl asked him to go with her.
My roommate talks about this girl as if she is a godess. The thing is, they have been FRIENDS for over 2 years and have never even kissed. My roomate says he cannot go on this trip unless this girl is/will become his girlfriend.
I've already explained to my roommate that SOMETHING should have happened between them over the past two years if there was really a "boyfriend/girlfriend, sexual" kind of connection. Also, at one point in time, about a year ago, this girl told my roomate that they "shouldn't do anything together" because she was seeing someone else.
On top of all this, this girl is hot and super cool and has a BUNCH of guys chasing after her. My roomate on the other had is an insecure AFC who never has women, is shy, and wants to tell this girl how he "feels" because he can't think of anything else to do.
I just don't see the sexual connection between them, personally.
From all these things my roomate has explained, what should I say or do to help him.
Do you guys agree so far with what I've told my roommate? What else can I tell him so he doesn't loose his mind and go to Alaska all summer only to be miserable and hate life if he finds out this girl only likes him as a friend?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

There is nothing you can say - his need to be loved is greater than your words!! This is a fantasy for him. A man never follows a woman - it is the man that leads - he is obviously a chump and maybe her rejection will wake him up!

The only solution is to tie him up in the basement until she leaves!!!

How about if he goes with her and they come back engaged?

 

[neobrood]

What else can I tell him so he doesn't loose his mind and go to Alaska all summer only to be miserable and hate life if he finds out this girl only likes him as a friend?

Ouch. That IS really gonna hurt.

If you're really sure that she doesnt really like him and only as a friend, keep him home. Tie him up if you have to...

That's for his own good.

Or try to distract him with other girls.

Its gonna be a long shot and a hard one tho. If he is really obsessed with that girl, no matter what you say will help him at all. He is gonna keep on finding excuses on why that girl likes him and he's gonna exagerrate and all.

Trust me... I've been thru that obsessive stage before. Its not the best of experiences...

My roomate on the other had is an insecure AFC who never has women, is shy, and wants to tell this girl how he "feels" because he can't think of anything else to do.

omg... this will really CRUSH HIM if he finds out she only wants him as a friend.

My roommate talks about this girl as if she is a godess.

Made that mistake too... never put a girl so high on a pedestal...

"shouldn't do anything together" because she was seeing someone else.

seeing someone else?!? wtf... Sign of a user... I would understand that if she's one of those shy girl types who dont have guys chasing her...

But this one looks dangerous. omg...

===============

Or better yet, Introduce him to this site...

 

[Charisma]

Let him have it, that'll teach him. 80% of the people I tried to help BEFORE they crashed and burned didn't listen, because they had never experienced it, and what I was explaining sounded like total bulls-hit to them Let em learn the hard way, we all did

 

[squirrels]

Sit him down, tell him that he's headed for imminent ruin and you don't want to see him broken down in Alaska over some girl he'll never have. If he won't listen, then tell him to tell her how he feels BEFORE he commits to moving out there. Have him tell her that he's in love with her and is moving to Alaska so he can be with her romantically and that's the ONLY way he's going.

Then she'll get creeped out and give him the "let's just be friends" speech and hopefully reconsider asking him to go.

The only way this will backfire is if she REALLY wants to "use" him. In which case you either 1) have to let him go, or 2) start playing REALLY dirty to protect him. (i.e. getting parents or counselors or someone involved)

I like the "distract him with other women" idea too, though. It just depends on how much time you have.

He may just need to go...learn his lesson on his own. I just hope he's not the suicidal type.

 

[Titus]

Oh boy, this is a situation!



It's always sooooo amusing to watch the "Mighty DJ" being so afraid that a "whining AFC" might get some pyssy...
After all, they are the ones who are supposed to be always at the short end of the stick, right? Them stupid "AFCs" don't deserve no game!

Well, otr4... i got bad news for you ma'man. I know of a guy who practicaly dog crawled after a girl for a really long time (more then a year i think)... then guess what? One beautiful day they visit the sea, camp in a tent for the night and behold! what the night brings.
They suddenly screw the living daylights out of eachother.

And then?

The frog becometh the lovely prince. She suddenly wants to be with him. Don't know how this ended, but yes, you CAN be worried that your poor "AFC" buddy might get some slamdunkin' up there in the cold mountains.

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by Charisma
Let him have it, that'll teach him. 80% of the people I tried to help BEFORE they crashed and burned didn't listen, because they had never experienced it, and what I was explaining sounded like total bulls-hit to them Let em learn the hard way, we all did

Yeah I agree!! Talking sense into him is gonig to be impossible unless he gets hurt first. In my opinion, I wouldn't even let him go with her because he's going to miss on the opportunites to meet other girls while he's there.

So this is what you can do. Short-circuit the process and tell him to express his feelings to the girl so that he can find out beforehand how she feels about him. That way once she rejects him, he can come back to you, and then you can guide him in the right direction. You cannot do that as things stand right now. He can say anything but pretty much something along the lines of "I see you as more than a friend" would be better instead of "I love you"

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by Titus
Oh boy, this is a situation!



It's always sooooo amusing to watch the "Mighty DJ" being so afraid that a "whining AFC" might get some pyssy...
After all, they are the ones who are supposed to be always at the short end of the stick, right? Them stupid "AFCs" don't deserve no game!

Well, otr4... i got bad news for you ma'man. I know of a guy who practicaly dog crawled after a girl for a really long time (more then a year i think)... then guess what? One beautiful day they visit the sea, camp in a tent for the night and behold! what the night brings.
They suddenly screw the living daylights out of eachother.

And then?

The frog becometh the lovely prince. She suddenly wants to be with him. Don't know how this ended, but yes, you CAN be worried that your poor "AFC" buddy might get some slamdunkin' up there in the cold mountains.

Titus you do bring up a very valid point. After all why would a guy be "concerned" about his roomate so much? It's his life right? Sometimes guys are jealous of their friends for being with girls while they themselves have nothing going on, so they try to screw their friends' chances through "advice" especially if the friend will ask for it. I call it "giving laced water to the thirsty"

 

[Titus]

Originally posted by legolas
Titus you do bring up a very valid point. After all why would a guy be "concerned" about his roomate so much? It's his life right? Sometimes guys are jealous of their friends for being with girls while they themselves have nothing going on, so they try to screw their friends' chances through "advice" especially if the friend will ask for it. I call it "giving laced water to the thirsty"

Quite right. Even thou i am suprised that so much guys write these kinds of things... guess i'm just too used of hearing them from woman only all the time...

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by legolas
Titus you do bring up a very valid point. After all why would a guy be "concerned" about his roomate so much? It's his life right? Sometimes guys are jealous of their friends for being with girls while they themselves have nothing going on, so they try to screw their friends' chances through "advice" especially if the friend will ask for it. I call it "giving laced water to the thirsty"

Depends on the relationship he has with him. Alaska's a long way off and there's nothing there if things don't work out.

The AFC way of doing things works occasionally. Maybe it IS just better to let him do it. F**k it. You told him what would happen.

The thing that bothers me is that she's got a man AND a bunch of guys hanging around. I'm getting the feeling that this guy thinks that all he has to do is isolate her from all the other guys so she has no choice and then HE will be the one she loves...that it's the other guys' fault and not HIS that he's not getting any.

 

[Titus]

Originally posted by squirrels The thing that bothers me is that she's got a man AND a bunch of guys hanging around. I'm getting the feeling that this guy thinks that all he has to do is isolate her from all the other guys so she has no choice and then HE will be the one she loves...that it's the other guys' fault and not HIS that he's not getting any.

Well, whatever the reason, wouldn't YOU want to be alone with a girl in the fukkin ALASKA? I know i sure would like hell. Or maybe rather some other warmer place

...sides' they hafta come down from the mountains one day It's not like if as if they are gonna marry themselves up there and live in a cave for the rest of their lives, giving company to a bunch of Yeti or Sasquach neighbours.

They guy is gonna get some!

 

[FratAndDiddy]

tell him what you think (if he can handle it) then let him trek up to alaska.
this may teach him a few things about obsession.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Titus
Well, whatever the reason, wouldn't YOU want to be alone with a girl in the fukkin ALASKA?

Not unless she's either A) putting out or B) one hell of a conversationalist.

 

[splinterkb]

My sister went with her friend (guy) to Mexico. She said it was really akward, and wanted for it to be over. Tell him that if he goes, he needs to know how she feels about him beforehand.

 

[undesputable]

let him go...alaska is a tight place so if he gets heartbroken he can do other **** like skiing and stuff like that or maybe go play or get some loving from polar bears, who knows...

let his learn by experience, sometimes thats the best way.

 

[Ebach]

I say don't stop him. Let him learn from experience otherwise he'll never learn. Just give him some advice that he can think about while he's there. Don't sound like a hater but more like a friend giving sincere advice. This will make him think if he detects the girl doing things that you might have mentioned and he'll realize. This might even cause attraction of he has the balls to stand up to this girl.

 

[Ice Cold]

Leave him be

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Titus
Oh boy, this is a situation!



It's always sooooo amusing to watch the "Mighty DJ" being so afraid that a "whining AFC" might get some pyssy...
After all, they are the ones who are supposed to be always at the short end of the stick, right? Them stupid "AFCs" don't deserve no game!

Well, otr4... i got bad news for you ma'man. I know of a guy who practicaly dog crawled after a girl for a really long time (more then a year i think)... then guess what? One beautiful day they visit the sea, camp in a tent for the night and behold! what the night brings.
They suddenly screw the living daylights out of eachother.

And then?

The frog becometh the lovely prince. She suddenly wants to be with him. Don't know how this ended, but yes, you CAN be worried that your poor "AFC" buddy might get some slamdunkin' up there in the cold mountains.

One day, around a year ago, there was this girl my Best Friend was really into. He talked about her like she was a perfect 10. She was pretty good looking, but also flirted with me a little to much for my liking. To show him how she really was, because she was a true wreck in every since of the word, I had to go as far as having him on three way when she called me (how she got my number is a different story) and let him see for himself.

Did I do this because I didn't want him to get any? Of course not, I wish she DID really like him, I would be happy for him. I DID IT BECAUSE FRIENDS DONT' LET FRIENDS GET HURT IF THEY CAN ADVOID IT.

How much sense would it make if you were walking on the Grand Canyon and your friend said "you know what, I think I will jump. It should be cool". Do you say "well, he will learn his lesson, let him jump"? No, you try your best to convence him not to jump. Now if you do your best and he still jumps, there is nothing more you can do.

 

[Ebach]

He still faced the situation just in a different way than he would have. When it comes to women you gotta learn the hard way. There's no other way. It's not the same as jumping off bridge. Anyone dumb enough to do it shouldn't be alive. Of course if you knew how dumb they were you'd do everything you can to save them. Girl are not as bad as they seem when you first start messing with them. The reason they're hard to get is because they say one thing but their intentions are different. They don't like what they say. They like what they do. Watch what they do and you'll know what they want.

 

[ShortTimer]

What else can I tell him so he doesn't loose his mind and go to Alaska all summer only to be miserable and hate life if he finds out this girl only likes him as a friend?

Either you or someone else should kiss her, very passionately, in front of him. Hell, have her go for you **** in front of him. This is about the only way he may buy a ****ing clue. Reason obviously won't work with someone this obsessed, so dirtier tactics are called for.