Advice needed

[Boto]

Hello DJs, I come here with a doubt.

Since I've read the Book of Pook two years ago my life changed a lot. Now I am fit and consider myself attractive to women. But now, after two years, for the first time I am not sure on what to do. There is this girl that is in some of my classes at my University. She is not very beautifull but she is so damn nice and has lots of friends. I am a friend of her too because she is very funny and preety much seems like a guy when talking. Everything was going fine till now I realize I have a crush on her. I tried to discover her position by using kino and she was cold. Everytime I meet with her I am among friends which makes it difficult to try to approach her in a sexual way.

I went to the book of pook again seeking for help and saw that article "let yourself fail" now I came up with this idea: I will say to her by phone that I have a crush on her and ask her out. The problem is that I am not sure if I should confess having a crush on her when asking her out. Also, I will see her for at leat more 2 years every week in classes. I value her friendship.

I think that if I just ask her out without saying that I have this crush on her she might think I am just being friendly (since we are friends indeed).


So what is your advice Sosuave? Sorry about grammar mistakes. Thanks in advance.

TL;TR: Should I ask a girl, whose friendship I value, out? Best way to do it?

 

[Greasy Pig]

Don't tell her you have a crush on her. Just organise the date and have a go at escalating.
Make sure she's aware it's just the two of you and make sure you take her somewhere you're unlikely to be spotted by mutual friends.
Try to get booze involved, flirt outrageously with her and get her dancing. While dancing, you can easily initiate kino and go for the kiss.
Remember, you're just trying to set the hook, not reel her all the way in. So a kiss should be your prime objective.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Agreed, whatever you do, don't tell her you have a crush on her. She will get totally creeped out.

Also, don't "ask" her out. This makes it a formal, pressured decision in her mind. Instead say, "I'm going to such and such this Saturday. Come on out with me or Why don't you come on out with me?"

That sounds more casual and it's also commanding in tone, not supplicating. Asking girls out is equivalent to saying that she would be doing you a favor by coming with you. Make it like you have plans that you are going to accomplish with or without her, it doesn't matter.

A commanding man who knows what he wants and who walks the earth with assumed authority is an attractive man. Convey that you have nothing to lose and that it would be her honor to be with you, not the other way around.

 

[VladPatton]

That you stated she was already a "friend" makes me think it might be too late for you to pursue a romantic relationship with her. However, you can try and see what happens. All in all you should be ready to loose everything in this gamble. This is what happens when you wait too long.

Try to get her alone and gauge her reciprocation with you. Do not puss out and confess anything, just make it seem natural. If she doesn't seem interested and reacts negatively to your advances, back off, take her home and make nothing of it, game's over.

Good luck.

 

[Boto]

Yeah, I know it took too long...Like i said she is not that beautifull so I wasn't attracted to her at first. But I think it's not all lost, since my focus when talking to her was always on the fun.

Also, thanks a lot for the advices! I will take another chick out this week and then I will talk to that female friend next week. I will have a bit more time to think, one more week won't make any difference in this case. Also following the "Always have a backup chick" pook lesson xD

thanks again

 

[eddiedelgado]

Tell her honestly that you have a crush on her, then you will find out! If she likes you too then everything is ok, and if not you need to go on anyway. My advice for you, be honest.

 

[Alvafe]

Tell her honestly that you have a crush on her, then you will find out! If she likes you too then everything is ok, and if not you need to go on anyway. My advice for you, be honest.

I have to call you on that, I never saw that go well for the guy, its not a film dude, that only blows your face, best for you know for sure is you act for it not talk.

more experienced posters already said don't say anything about it and escale.

 

[flashpoint]

I tried to discover her position by using kino and she was cold.

aside from the solid advice you v got from the usual suspects already, i want to point out this one as a road to failure. seriously get it out of your head to somehow figure out what a chick wants etc. so you can base your actions upon that. this installs a very harmful dynamic and will kill your game and thus any attraction. And dont kino her to get a reaction, no wonder she gets cold if there is a hidden agenda behind your acts. you touch her because you like to touch her, that is it.

you are a man. you like a woman. there is nothing wrong with it and nothing to be approved of. now we cant say for sure whether she feels the same or not, but for now it really doesnt matter. you just need to game her. make it all more flirty and a bit more dangerous for you. because what is the harm in people knowing that you like her? that by itself doesnt make you a douchebag. acting all weired about it could tho. and there is a chance at least some might already have picked up on that, so wont be a big surprise.

BUT fight ANY temptation to confess and sh!t. In masterclass you could prolly say something like "you know what? i started to kinda really like you. i think we should be dating. you are free next friday for a try?" and get away with it. but if you are not there yet and are too much focused on the outcome, you would definitely fail. The thing with confessions is that it makes it look like there is something wrong with it and that is just the wrong vibe. Plus you gotta keep an eye on economics, when you get across that you desire her it makes you look less desirable. as odd as it is, but that is the usual outcome.

 

[thevilittletroll]

sounds like you are in the friend zone, very difficult to get out of. not impossible, but very hard. the reason guys get put into the friend zone is because you failed to build attraction, or you did not physically escalate after you built attraction and your window closed. dont tell her you have a crush on her. if you do all she'll say is "aww thats cute." it will get you no where. it will actually get you deeper into the friend zone. you have a couple of options. the quickest option is to get really drunk together game her and go for a make out. if she shoots you down you can always use the i was really drunk excuse. your other option takes a little more time. she has to see you getting attention from other girls hotter than her. it can take weeks or months but its worth it if you get yourself out of the zone.

 

[ARrocket]

Sound advice here, also, you might want to give a time frame for how long your 'relationship' with her has been going. Could be a friendzone problem, but I personally believe (I have no evidence, of course) that you are not really friendzoned until you have a real opportunity to advance things.

I am interested in this because I am in a similar (hopefully not TOO similar) situation.

There's a girl in one of my classes that I've been trading glances with for a couple of weeks, and I FINALLY got a chance to sit next to her last week. Exchanged numbers to study for our upcoming exam. She contacted me to meet up, and we did, but we honestly did have to study, graduate school is not the place to fvck around when it comes to class. I was hoping to grab a drink with her this weekend but I never got the chance to bring it up; she said she's super busy all the time and hates it, but will be going out Saturday for her roommate's birthday, and she is hoping I'll come as well.

Seems interested, initiates some kino (but then again, she's European, so I dunno...), so seems promising.

So...we'll see...definitely gonna do everything I can to not let this draw out too much.