Advice needed on what to do next, please help

[StoneZA]

Hey guys,

I don't frequently visit these forums, last year I did make a couple of posts with regards to a girl that I met at my gym, but nothing ever came of that, and I ended up just being friends with her.

Its a new year, and I have a new girl in my sights and would like some advice or just a few opinions from other guys (or girl perhaps).Two weeks ago I met a couple of girls via one of my lady friends. My friend initially arranged for me to meet one of the 2 girls in particular, but as it turned out, her other friend that she invited along, I ended up liking more overall.

We had breakfast together the Saturday morning when we met and I we had a good time together as a group (my lady friend, her bf and the 2 girls I met)

To break it down, the following has transpired so far:

1)The girl I like, mentioned during breakfast that she has a problem with her laptop at home. I'm a IT lecturer I immediately pounced on the opportunity to help her out as I know my way around with computers

She immediately was very greatful and at the end of breakfast, we exchanged numbers. She then sms'ed (or how do you guys put it, texted) me later that afternoon so that we could arrange a time for me to go and help her.

Went over to her place, and to my surprise her laptop was in her bedroom and didn't have a problem with me going in there. Being a student, she shares the flat with a room mate(female) that wasn't present at the time. Fixed the problem that she had and we also had a nice chat throughout.

When I had to leave, she gave me a hug, and said that I'm really adorable and that it was really nice meeting me.

2) The next day I sms'ed (sent her a text message) saying that it was nice to meet her, she must enjoy her week, and that I'm looking forward to seeing her again. She texted me back, saying that she is also hoping that our next visit isn't about computers again, and that I should enjoy the rest of my week.

3) I waited 3 days before I contacted her again, this time round I phoned her up on Thursday (last week) and asked if she doesn't want to go and have a cup of coffee with me. She said that she might not be here for the weekend (was this past weekend) and that she'll let me know. Friday went by...heard nothing.. Saturday morning came, and she texted me early the morning and said that she is available and that we can go for coffee.

I was really pleased that she kept her word and contacted me. I offered to pick her up and she said it would be nice. Upon my arrival she gave me a huge hug, with both arms around me, and rubbed the top side of my back (I also hugged her back, with both arms).She said then said that she felt homesick, was home alone and really appreciate the fact that I asked her out, and that it will boost her morale again. I also complimented on how she looked and liked it (which lady doesn't ? )

We went for coffee, initially the first place I had in mind was so busy, that we had to queue up outside. As it was a very warm day, I didn't want to let her stand in the sun and I had a feeling that she wasn't the waiting type, so I suggested we go some place else.

Went to the other place, and we had a nice time.She asked me out about my work, what do I do in my spare time etc and asked her the same. Naturally, I offered to pay, seeing that I invited her and she really appreciated it. After coffee, she wanted a few groceries for the flat, and went shopping with her.

Afterwards, I took her back to her place, and helped carried to groceries to her flat, she mentioned again that I'm really adorable. Seeing that she still had work to do for her studies, I didn't impose on staying, we walked back to my car. She gave a nice hug again just like the one I received when I picked her up, and that was the end of my first date with her.

Now, I know what I described above, might have been corny, but wanted to list everything so that you guys can give me the proper advice.

I really really like this girl, she is the type of girl that I have dreamt of meeting my entire life and that I intend to marry one day. I really don't want to blow my chances of getting to know her better and ultimately make her my gf eventually.

What I want to know from you guys, how do I show her that I'm interested in her, but not to be too eager and scare her off in the process ?

What I had in mind, was to buy her some flowers (not roses) together with a little card and take it to her after work on Thursday this week. She isn't going to be here on the weekend, so I won't be able to go on a date with her.

Do you guys think the flower and card idea is too much, too quick ? This is only the second week that we know one another,she hasn't texted me from her side yet, but still she has texted me back every single time so far that I sent her a message.

This girl is really classy, and I don't think she'll text me from her side, obviously as I'm the man, the hunter, that needs to win her heart, so I want to show her that I really like her, but as I already metnioned, don't want to scare her off in the process.

I think she does like me so far, from what has transpired... or at least I hope so.

Is my idea good enough ? Or should I rather leave it, for a later stage ? What other options do I have? Personally I think it will be good, and I think it will make her feel very special

Any thoughts/suggestions are welcomed, and please guys, I'm not a typical DJ that wants a girl for sex, I have class and I'm really decent, so I don't want any advice to get her into bed, just your thoughts on if I have a good idea, or not and what to do next.

Thanks

 

[romangod]

First off, forget about the gifts. You'll scare her off.

Secondly, you should have kissed her on the first coffee date. He who hesitates is lost. My guess is she would have responded well from what you've posted.


Thirdly, don't even think about the "marriage" thing. You're setting a trap for yourself by going there so soon.

Just don't turn into a chump and be the man. Good luck.


Cheers!

 

[StoneZA]

First off,

Thanks for the reply.

Secondly, you don't know me, I'm not the type of guy that kisses a girl on the first date, that to me would've scared her off... but I guess its 50/50. You canadian and american guys have a different way of doing things, that's for sure.

Thirdly, the whole "marriage" thing is my own business, if I want to go there I would. Never said, I want to marry this girl straight of the bat, was just mentioning that I would like to marry this type of girl.

Furthermore, who said anything about gifts. FFS, I only want to give her a flower or two with a little card, I haven't even given her anything yet. Kissing her would be risking it EXTEMELY.

I'm not the type of guy that, if one girl blows me off, or she isn't interested, then simply move on to the next one.

Thanks for your response though

 

[buster69]

Did you fix her laptop for free? If so why?




Buster

 

[NewMan]

Firstly, I suggest you read the DJ Bible - all the answers to your questions are there.

Secondly - and it's a difficult idea to grasp - you need to do the exact opposite of what your doing.

You've not yet indicated in any way that your interested in her - and in fact you are acting like her girl friend. Going shopping, fixing her computer for free and hugging her like your her GF. How does she know you are interested? further - how do you know that she is interested in you? - you don't.

Opposite to what society tells you - via magzines, books, TV and the like - flowers and gifts and being 'Nice' will not get you the woman. Women what MEN - and that means you have to ACT like one. Therefore you need to escalate - you need to touch (Kino) and you need to move in for the Kiss. If you don';t do this - and do this qucikly you will be relagated to her favorite person to shop with.

i don't know where you live - but I think your in University? Your next move should be to invite her out to a Bar for a ****tail - or some such function. Get her in that environment and escalate.

Don't beat around the bush. Make a move. At least you'll know where you stand.

 

[crazymedstudent]

First off,

Thanks for the reply.

Secondly, you don't know me, I'm not the type of guy that kisses a girl on the first date, that to me would've scared her off... but I guess its 50/50. You canadian and american guys have a different way of doing things, that's for sure.

Thirdly, the whole "marriage" thing is my own business, if I want to go there I would. Never said, I want to marry this girl straight of the bat, was just mentioning that I would like to marry this type of girl.

Furthermore, who said anything about gifts. FFS, I only want to give her a flower or two with a little card, I haven't even given her anything yet. Kissing her would be risking it EXTEMELY.

I'm not the type of guy that, if one girl blows me off, or she isn't interested, then simply move on to the next one.

Thanks for your response though

The fact that you haven't even seen the girl naked much less kissed the girl and marriage is even REMOTELY on your mindset is totally skewed. You barely know the girl. Its easy to get wrapped up in the initial stages of a girl and thinking that her type is THE ONE. Maybe after dating a girl for a couple of years and STILL having the same feelings you are having now for the girl you can start to think about it.

You need to just relax and DO NOT buy her anything else. As you said, she said she is very lonely, and honestly, she possibly could be using you as a crutch because she doesn't know that many people in the area. Though I don't think this is the case.

If you REALLY want this girl you need to stop trying to DO things for her and instead HAVE FUN.

I agree with going for the kiss on the first coffee date. If a guy doesn't kiss a girl fairly early on in the 'courting' stages of dating, she could easily put you in the LJBF category.

 

[StoneZA]

Did you fix her laptop for free? If so why?




Buster

I did it because I'm attracted to her and I wanted to show her that I'm a decent guy, and I could make a real good impression on her the first time. Now I know NewMan said, that being nice and doing things for a girl won't get me the girl, and I realise that.

Judging by the responses I get from you guys here, I shouldve rather kept my mouth shut. I'm now even more confused than I was before. One thing that you guys don't know is that she is really busy during the week with her studies and her time is also limited over weekends as well, and some weekends she goes home as her parents live somewhere else.

So its not as if I have lots and lots of opportunities just to go out and have fun with her. Crazymedstudent, its not a case of her not knowing any people in the area, she lived in a dorm at the university but moved out. She has lots of friends, so really, she isn't using me as a crutch, I can say that for certain.

Another thing that I haven't mentioned is that I have never been in a meaningful relationship with a girl before in my 26 years of existence. It may be hard to believe but its true. That's why I'm so cautious when it comes to women and that's why I didn't try to kiss her on the first date.

Obviously its a 50/50 split with regards to whether or not she wouldve liked it, or not. I just cannot phantom what I should do. Next weekend the university closes for break, and then she'll be going home for about 2 weeks. This weekend she is also not going to be here either. It just feels rushed in my book to kiss her now at this point, I don't even know her for 2 full weeks yet.

I don't want to wait till she gets back to do something to show that I like her, for example like kissing her or telling what I feel, but on the other side... I don't want to risk it. Its merely a case of a) she'll like it b) she won't like it.

I'm really in a tiff and have less than 72 hours to figure out what my course of action is going to be, as I want to go and visit her on thursday... :nervous:

PS: Where can I find the DJ Bible ?

 

[GuanYu]

Hey bro, you may not like the advice you've been given so far but it's the truth. Women don't want guys to do a lot for them early on. You have to be somewhat mysterious and not put all of your eggs into one basket.

It's been said many times, but these problems and feelings you have wouldn't be as strong or lingering if you had other women in your life. However, since you don't seem to be the guy that can juggle women and only focus on one you have to use your unavailability to your advantage.

Has she ever contacted you? Who calls/text who the most? If it's you then you have to let her initiate a bit. More importantly, talking to her everyday is not the ideal thing to do. Let her worry a bit. Give her time to miss you.

Your next course of action should be to call her up (call not text) and invite her out for a drink Thursday. If she agrees then that may be your best shot to escalate. You MUST escalate if you're interested in her. It's not being a gentleman, as much as you may think, to not kiss her and touch her lightly. By not doing anything sexual she thinks of you as a friend. Even trying and getting rejected is better then not doing anything at all just cause you may be scared.

Women saying you're adorable isn't a good sign. She should be saying things like you're "fine", "hot" or "silly", "funny" hell even "jerk" is better then adorable. Be more of a man by letting your c0ck talk to you from time to time and she'll reciprocate the feelings. You don't want to be friends with her you want her thinking of you in a sexual state.

Summary - get her to have drinks with you Thursday and escalate.

College girls don't work that differently from other women. Most times they're just more immature and some can be more or less eager to give it up. Let her think of you sexually and not just another friend because you're acting more like a friend atm.

Giving a few gifts would have been fine if it was her birthday or something. But you shouldn't give her anything until you get her in the sack. Even then it's not necessary since you're not in a relationship.

 

[Trader]

First off, you are taking this entire thing way too seriously.

She is just a girl, and the fact that you even think she is marriage potential so early in the game is just outright ridiculous.

How do you even know she is marriage potential? Based on what information? You have not even gone out with her for over one month yet.

Just relax, if you end up making some mistakes and blowing it, strike it off as a learning experience, if you end up getting her as your gf, well who knows, she might not even be the one you thought she was. Just try to get some information and then just go out and have fun.

 

[wait_out]

There is nothing wrong with kissing girls, Stone. She's lonely and wants companionship. What you should have done is held the hug and kept talking to her, the kiss follows naturally. She would have appreciated it. She could not have given you clearer signals and you are not responding to her prompts. In the end you're going to disqualify yourself.

Second, you don't really know her. That takes years. Buying her roses and cards is a sign you don't really understand her wishes. Don't project anything on women. Big mistake.

Third, she probably wants sex at some point. You won't even kiss her. Relationships with no momentum die very quickly. Kissing girls who want to be kissed does not scare them off, it makes them happy. Girls want guys who understand them and deliver the goods, not Hallmark cards.

Stone -- you should accept the fact that at some point in the future, this girl may be moaning in front of you while you ride her from behind with a fistful of ponytail. It doesn't make her a bad person. Girls are sexual. Get over it. It has to start somewhere.

Forget advice, "the next stage", gifts, and your little schemes. If you didn't blow it already, KISS HER. How she reacts will tell you what to do next.

 

[speed dawg]

Just don't turn into a chump and be the man.

Ha, he's already done this. I can tell by his post that this is engrained in his personality, easily proven by a quick rationalization:

Secondly, you don't know me, I'm not the type of guy that kisses a girl on the first date, that to me would've scared her off... but I guess its 50/50. You canadian and american guys have a different way of doing things, that's for sure.

Good grief, it makes me wonder why these guys even post. The gir's already on a pedestal the size of the Empire State Building. They don't want the right advice, they want something that confirms what they are feeling. Unfortunately, that's not reality for them, and it will hit him hard when this broad starts the typical low interest game. She's probably riding on some bad boy's d1ck right now, and this sap treats her like she's Juliet.

StoneZA will be back here in a week or two with a post titled "Mixed Signals - What do I do?!?!". Especially if he keeps his current game up. And we'll give him good advice again, but it won't be what he wants to hear so he'll attack us, etc. so on and so forth.....

 

[buster69]

Doing stuff to buy her affection is wrong. As the others have said you have to get physical.

You should always take new girls out during the week. They have to earn your company at the weekends.

If you get the date Thursday,Good luck..... go for the kiss


But maybe she just wants you as a friend ....puppy dogs are adorable!!



DJBible is at the bottom of every page



Later Buster

 

[vitor]

Listen to what is being said, do not take this the wrong way. Your actions are going to put you in the Friend ZONE.

Fixing her cpu no problem
Coffee date no kiss - problem starting
Buying her flowers - WHY

Call her on the phone ask her out to dinner, have several bottle of wine, excuse yourself to the rest room. Pull down your pants, grab your balls and Say I am the man. THen proceed to take her home and make things happen. You do not realize but when want action and excitment. All you are doing is the same old same old that every other guy has done with her. Are you hoping that magiclly she will think this guy who I meet once a week and hug is the man of my dreams? SHow her, create some excitment, kiss her not a peck but make out with her.

 

[StoneZA]

Sheesh... if I was a punching bag you guys wouldve really beat the crap out of me that's for sure. Some harsh criticism, and generally I don't like criticism, but in essence I was the one that came here looking for advice.

@GuanYu
She hasn't texted nor called me, I was the one that initiated contact so far by means of phoning and texting. She did talk to me the one time I called her, and she texted me back every single time so far.

@Trader
The reason why I said marriage potential was the fact that she appears to be sweet, lovable, kind etc. Now I know looks can be deceiving, therefore I said she appeared to me to be marriage potential. I know that its impossible to say something like that, even for not knowing her for 2 weeks. You should I must try and get information, what type of information are you talking about ?

@wait_out
My inexperience with girls probably clouded my judgement with the hug part. You're probably right, I shouldve held her longer and then give her a kiss. Really hope I haven't blown it thus far.

@speed_dawg
First of all STFU, and GTFO. Seriously, you don't have a clue as to what the personality type of this girl is. Have you met her before ? Have you actually seen her ? NO and NO, so therefore don't go and classify her as a *****/slut that would go out and nail the first guy that she finds. I really don't appreciate your tone at all. My guess is, that you had that done to you at some stage of your life, but don't portray your previous experience that you might have had onto the girl I like. Not trying to be a smart ass, but you're response wasn't constructive for me.

@buster
Thanks for pointing into the right direction of the DJ Bible, I didn't notice it at the bottom of the page. I'm going to do my utmost best to secure a date with her on Thursday.

@vitor
My actions are probably steering me into the friend zone, which I obviously don't want. Laughed my ass when I read that part about dinner, grabbing my balls and saying I'm the man. Thanks for the advice though..

There is some truth in what vitor had to say about that I'm hoping that if she sees me once a week, will let her think that I'm the man of her dreams.. that is so true, I haven't really thought about it like that, but now.. if I do manage to secure a date with her for Thursday, what if she doesn't want to go out ? Will it be fine if I then go to her place and try to apply the same thing there ?

The thing is, I'm just scared that I might get hurt in the process, and I know it probably sounds soppy, but on the other hand, if I only take her out once a week, for a movie, coffee, dinner, then the notion of her seeing me as a friend would then also become a reality..which I DONT want at all.

So, I will take the advice you guys have given me so far, so I'll organise a date with her, right now and then go for the kiss on Thursday, or as you guys put it, escalate the situation. It will be the first major risk that I will attempt with a girl ever, to kiss her, just like that, so if this is a complete balls up, then I'll have you guys to blame for it, but creating a little excitement from my side is maybe just what she needs, to obtain her interest in me.

 

[romangod]

I did it because I'm attracted to her and I wanted to show her that I'm a decent guy, and I could make a real good impression on her the first time.

Show her that you're "all" man first. There's plenty of time for decency later. Nice guys and wimps finish last.

Judging by the responses I get from you guys here, I shouldve rather kept my mouth shut. I'm now even more confused than I was before. One thing that you guys don't know is that she is really busy during the week with her studies and her time is also limited over weekends as well, and some weekends she goes home as her parents live somewhere else.

No need to be confused. Listen to what the people here are telling you. It'll save you a lot of heart ache. Seeing as she's so busy, you definitely should have kissed her. You'd have your answer by now.

Another thing that I haven't mentioned is that I have never been in a meaningful relationship with a girl before in my 26 years of existence. It may be hard to believe but its true. That's why I'm so cautious when it comes to women and that's why I didn't try to kiss her on the first date.

No, the reason you are so cautious is because you're scared. Even if she rejects you it's better in the long run. At least you'll know you had the balls to make the move.

It just feels rushed in my book to kiss her now at this point, I don't even know her for 2 full weeks yet.

Get ready for the "friend-zone". Again, "He who hesitates is lost." Quit making excuses.

I don't want to wait till she gets back to do something to show that I like her, for example like kissing her or telling what I feel, but on the other side... I don't want to risk it. Its merely a case of a) she'll like it b) she won't like it.

Whatever you do, don't tell her how you feel! Then you're done like dinner. My guess is she already knows you like her. Women know. Be the man and show her.

Good Luck.

 

[speed dawg]

@speed_dawg
First of all STFU, and GTFO. Seriously, you don't have a clue as to what the personality type of this girl is. Have you met her before ? Have you actually seen her ? NO and NO, so therefore don't go and classify her as a *****/slut that would go out and nail the first guy that she finds. I really don't appreciate your tone at all. My guess is, that you had that done to you at some stage of your life, but don't portray your previous experience that you might have had onto the girl I like. Not trying to be a smart ass, but you're response wasn't constructive for me.

Your guess is exactly right. You think I'm ashamed of that? It taught me a lesson, and lesson you will learn before you're ultimately successful with women.

My response wasn't meant to criticize you or the girl, but to try to frame you into thinking differently. Either way, you're doing all the wrong things right now. And honestly, what would be a constructive response for you? Telling you to go through with your flowers deal?

Look, you want advice? Here it is. Call her up, tell you come over to your place for dinner. She gets there while you're still cooking, you know, you bullsh1t, show her around, hang out with her, get her a drink, etc. Have some music in the background. You finish eating, move her to the couch and let if flow.

Now, you'll know if she likes you. You absolutely MUST take charge, be confident and quit trying so hard to impress HER. Just have fun with her, it's your approach that's holding you back and will put you in the friendzone.

 

[Mr. Me]

You are being completely the stereotypical "Nice Guy" and you are being used. Your reasonings and your actions are totally, totally not going to work in your favor unless you meet a woman who is so insecure that she eats up your attention and clings to it.

The girl I like, mentioned during breakfast that she has a problem with her laptop at home. I'm a IT lecturer I immediately pounced on the opportunity to help her out as I know my way around with computers

= "I'll get her to like me by doing an errand for her!" = "I can't attract a woman just by personality. I have to bribe by performing free tasks."

to my surprise her laptop was in her bedroom and didn't have a problem with me going in there.

Because you're the one that sees that as a problem because of your notions of not being sexual toward women and needing to mask it.

When I had to leave, she gave me a hug, and said that I'm really adorable and that it was really nice meeting me.

That's what friends do. Not romantic interests. My grandma hugs me too.

The next day I sms'ed (sent her a text message) saying that it was nice to meet her, she must enjoy her week, and that I'm looking forward to seeing her again.

IOW, you telegraphed to her that you're interested in her.

And you're wondering about letting her know you're interested?

Girls know. I even know.

I waited 3 days before I contacted her again, this time round I phoned her up on Thursday (last week) and asked if she doesn't want to go and have a cup of coffee with me.

"Asking" is weak. In fact, you asked her out using a negative form of question? That's very telling. Get on my couch.

"Inviting her out" is better, shows confidence.

A fun activity date instead of coffee would've been better too.

said that she felt homesick, was home alone and really appreciate the fact that I asked her out, and that it will boost her morale again.

So she's basically telling you that she accepted the date with you because she's bored and lonely.

I also complimented on how she looked and liked it (which lady doesn't ? )

They do, but not if you keep complimenting them like a broken record and pushing it. Also, it's better, if giving a compliment, to compliment something about them rather then a general "You're so pretty". "Nice boots!" is a better compliment.

I had a feeling that she wasn't the waiting type, so...

Wow, you have the ability to know what people feel? What am I feeling?

After coffee, she wanted a few groceries for the flat, and went shopping with her.

So you became errand boy again.

helped carried to groceries to her flat, she mentioned again that I'm really adorable.

Well, I guess that seems to be what she says to reinforce errand boy behavior in doting males that end up doing things for her. And she says it not because you're adorable, she says it because it works in keeping guys like you attentive to doing things for her.

She gave a nice hug again just like the one I received when I picked her up

Adorable plus Hug. Okay, now we know her modus operandi.

You know, I'm currently seeing a chick who has told me about other guys, male friends of hers, that line up to do her favors, which she freely accepts. Like how when she moved into her current premises, these guys all helped her move her stuff in. But I'm the guy she's naked falling off on the couch with, with our bodies entwined. And the most stuff of hers I've ever moved was when I took her clothes off.

she is the type of girl that I have dreamt of meeting my entire life and that I intend to marry one day.

You barely know this woman, you can't give her all this credit.

how do I show her that I'm interested in her, but not to be too eager and scare her off in the process ?

My friend, she knows you're interested. Your interest is not what counts. What counts is HER interest. But you've already shown her your hand, and not in a way that would have her attracted to you in the way you'd like.

What I had in mind, was to buy her some flowers (not roses) together with a little card and take it to her after work on Thursday this week.

Save that for girlfriends, not women you've just started dating - and this one you really didn't have a real date with. Have you even kissed her yet? See what I mean? Know this: Women only accept romantic gestures from men they WANT romantic gestures from. And if you haven't even tried kissing her yet, you don't know if she's romantically interested, though I doubt she is.

she has texted me back every single time so far that I sent her a message.

Texting is easy. They don't have to speak to you. It doesn't therefore mean much.

I think she does like me so far, from what has transpired... or at least I hope so.

If you knew what you were doing, you wouldn't be guessing about it. You'd know. You need to learn this stuff. Obviously you don't, but it's good that you're asking.

Any thoughts/suggestions are welcomed, and please guys, I'm not a typical DJ that wants a girl for sex, I have class and I'm really decent, so I don't want any advice to get her into bed

Contrary to opinion, you can be a class act and still be a Don Juan.

Next step would be, stop trying to date girls until you learn more and grow.

 

[cordoncordon]

Dude, everything about you is SCREAMING wussy, pvssy, and feminist. You are the poster child for what is known as a "Nice Guy". Is that what you want to be known as? How's that workin' out for ya so far?

Were you by chance raised without a father? Because your balls seem to be lost somewhere. I'm guessing you are still a virgin as well?

Look, call her up.
Invite her to a bar.
Have a few drinks.
Flirt with her-DON"T BE NICE GUY thinking anything sexual is off limits.
KISS HER.
Take her back to your place.
.......
.........
...........
................
Profit

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Read the DJ Bible, grab your balls, kick that f*ckin pedestal out from underneath her, you don't need her for chrissake!

She must prove herself to you, I know this sounds crazy because you think of yourself as a weird computer guy who is socially retarded, especially with women. Somehow you must do a complete 180 with your current mindset, I hope you do.

I hope you can cowboy up and fix yourself, I would love to see one of these trainwreck posts go the other way for a change.

 

[StoneZA]

@speed_dawg
Sorry if I over analyzed what you said, I know I also said some harsh things to you, therefore I apologize. Thanks for your advice will also keep it in mind and apply it.

@Mr.Me
After your post, I'm left speechless don't know what to say, almost to scared to post anything before you rip it to shreds like you did with my main post...guess there isn't much left for me to say, but to take the situation by the balls and make it my own.

@cordoncordon
You're right, my actions and what I have posted does scream those things about me. Not going to elaborate on your questions either, but will take what you said in your second post into account in my situation.

I started reading the first part of the DJ Bible, and man, there are really some useful things in there, I'm going to read it, re-read it and re-read it again.

My biggest downfall I think, has to do with me not taking any risks in life. Always wondering whether or not if I do a certain thing will result into what I wanted to occur, especially with regards to women.

I guess its time to take a chance and risk it all, by kissing this girl of mine, and see what her response would be. Thinking back to this past weekend, I had ample opportunity to do so, and man, if I could kick myself on the ass, I would do it. She was all alone, so vulnerable, lonely...but not having enough confidence to go over into action and wanting to play things easy with her was what I ended up doing...I have done this before as well with quite a few girls and what did I get in the end.... I just ended up being used and just friends.

Believe it or not, all this is actually starting to make sense to me now, does it really matter if I kiss her now, or wait a month to 1.5 months before I do it, and just keep taking her out and not making a move ? Nah ah... if I do manage to secure a date with her on Thursday (already phoned, phone was switched off, send her a text instead) I will go over into action and escalate the situation and give her kiss that she won't forget... I just hope she doesn't slap me or pull away during or afterwards