Advice needed, girlfriend went to a after party

[Father Joseph]

Thanks for all the useful advice. Still the guys who come to post on this thread please read my first post carefully before posting your advice. It is useless to state that she cheated if the facts aren't even straight.


And to add a little detail: There is only one proper club in my town so it is very possible that she ran into her friends. Almost every 18-25 old spends their nightouts there.

 

[Father Joseph]

I see you point @Danger. But as she claims she was very tired and almost falling to sleep. I dont know did the guy come straight to bed with her or did he wait for a while. And she said she left the club when they stopped serving alcohol and the girlsnightougroup was leaving and then she ran into the acting class friends. I have no hard evidence so this is very hard to make decicions. I could have access to her phone or facebook account but I do not know if that would help.

The Excpetions previous advice in the thread where the GF has a affair with the 40-old guy was clearly bad. But it does not automatically mean that he is wrong in my case. There are still good girls left.

 

[dasein]

Without going into lots of detail and reasoning, unless it is this girl's habit not to return contact for several hours after being apart all night, I'd INSTANTLY go back to f buddies from GF. Are you guys even exclusive? Have had that talk after being f buddy so long? If not, then you may not really be exclusive. Good if you aren't IMO. Stay free, be happy.

Phone off? 1 o clock, and she's just NOW getting in and back to you? LMFAO. She gave way too much rationalizing detail and too much unnecessary detail is a form of tell, it suggests a communication PLAN in place as opposed to just speaking truth. Yes, they do feel a compulsion to confess, just as others say, not the whole thing. I've seen this scenario dozens of times from all angles, been the BF, guy B, the third party, the friends, every single position in the scenario, and IME there's a 90% chance more went on. But NBD, why are you dating a f buddy exclusively anyway? WHY WOULD YOU CONSIDER A F BUDDY A GF PROSPECT EVER? I don't understand here. Go back to that uncommitted state! YMMV and good luck.

 

[Jaylan]

I see you point @Danger. But as she claims she was very tired and almost falling to sleep. I dont know did the guy come straight to bed with her or did he wait for a while. And she said she left the club when they stopped serving alcohol and the girlsnightougroup was leaving and then she ran into the acting class friends. I have no hard evidence so this is very hard to make decicions. I could have access to her phone or facebook account but I do not know if that would help.

The Excpetions previous advice in the thread where the GF has a affair with the 40-old guy was clearly bad. But it does not automatically mean that he is wrong in my case. There are still good girls left.

You're in denial buddy.

If I'm committed to someone I go home long before I'm too tired to make it home. Especially if my only other sleeping option is somewhere that looks hella suspicious. But hey... I'm just a loyal guy that behaves the way I'd want my woman to .

 

[Father Joseph]

I am feeling awful at the moment. There are just too many theories what has/ could have happened. So let say she did cheat on me. Should I confront her or what? I am not leaving this all behind before I know she did it.

 

[AttackFormation]

We cannot know whether she is lying about things like "accidentally running into" her guy friends or not, but even the facts she gave are enough to say...

- Goes out and gets drunk with her girlfriends when she is already taken
- Met up with a guy and stayed with him alone after her girlfriends went home
- Follows the guy home to his place instead of going home to her boyfriend
- Switched her phone off
- Slept at another guy's house
- Was so clear about not wanting to be groped that the guy tried it a second time when she was sober
- She missed you and wondered where you were so much that she went to another guy's home instead of going home to you

Like Danger said, if I was "sleazeball guy" I would take this as a green light if I wanted to f*ck her the next time we "accidentally meet up".

I am feeling awful at the moment. There are just too many theories what has/ could have happened. So let say she did cheat on me. Should I confront her or what? I am not leaving this all behind before I know she did it.

This is the next-best thing she wants you to be if she did cheat on you - doubtful, anxious and passively accepting of her behavior - the first being oblivious (which you took out of the game plan by questioning her). And fact is, either she has weak integrity toward you or she cheated. A committed girlfriend will not do what she does. The loving girlfriend you think you have is in YOUR head, not in reality, and you're trying to rationalise that away as all guys do. The fact that you're so concerned about losing her and trying to rationalise her behaviour away with excuses should be a wake up call to you about your situation in general.

A girlfriend who doesn't have it in her head to cheat will not do something like get drunk late at night and keep staying out after her friends go home and switch her phone off to follow a guy home. Even drunk single girls don't do that unless they want to f*ck. If she is voluntarily alone while drunk with some guy who isn't confirmed gay, then you can no longer trust her.

 

[Yorkex]

I am feeling awful at the moment. There are just too many theories what has/ could have happened. So let say she did cheat on me. Should I confront her or what? I am not leaving this all behind before I know she did it.

Personal story.

Similar situation , we had a fight & I decided I needed a break from her because I had exams that whole week. Anyways she comes back and volunteers all this information about sleeping at her friends house & how her friend left the middle of the night so she was alone with her friends brother and they had drinks and weed but NOTHING happened.

1) She was downtown but drove 30 mins to her friends house to sleep while she could've drove 15 mins to her OWN house to sleep.
2) She gave too much details , almost like she planned the whole conversation.
3) When I got upset she said " but we were on a break plus I didn't even sleep with him".

Anyways like you I tried to keep the doubts but monitor her ( checked out emotionally ). Her phone rings and goes to phone mail and its one of her friends & believe me after this day NOTHING got passed me.

Voice mail goes " OMG he actually believed it ? I know he still thinks something happened but good job girl , just be nice to him until he calms down. Try not to contact the next dude for a while"

LOOOL she came home with her bags packed outside & i put her in NC for about 2 months.
She kept calling and I finally picked up one & she goes I'm sorry I know I fckkked up but I didn't mean to hurt you......LOOOL yea right *****hh

 

[playa99]

The main thing I take out of this thread is that she slept in a bed with another guy.

Break it down however you want..

THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE GIRLFRIEND BEHAVIOUR!

Nothing may have happened.. Plain and simple unless she admits it you will never know.

Its a stupid position to put yourself in from her perspective!

You can either forget it and move on cautiously.. or end it and move on!

 

[guru1000]

What's more important to you, self-respect or the girl? If the former, you walk away. If the latter, she will eventually leave you as the frame/context of the relation is already compromised given you didn't prioritize self-respect first. Doesn't seem like much to contemplate here.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

This where the pickup community has fvcked me over.

Some people treat Mein Kampf as gospel, as their own personal Bible, and other people shrug it off and dismiss it as drivel, just another book. People have as much power over you as you give them, and the same goes for viewpoints discussed within a community.

Every girl is a potential cheater

If it makes you feel any better, every guy is also a potential cheater. If a person is physically able to do X, then there must also exist the potential to do X, although I think what you're intending to say here is that every girl has a natural inclination to cheat, to which I'd say no, but every girl has a natural inclination to look out for her best interest. When you (and by extension, the relationship) no longer serves her best interest, for whatever reason, then yes, her hypergamous instincts may lead her to cheat. Consider too that even being your 'best self' is not a foolproof method for preventing cheating.

and everything a girl says is considered a lie. Even if it is your girlfriend you trust the most.

Not sure where you read or heard that, but surely you don't believe that? If you do, then you'll feel right at home with the MGTOW crowd.

Regardless, her story sounds suspicious. You may not unearth all of the facts of what happened that night, so then the questions you ought to turn your attention toward are: why did she put herself in that situation? Couldn't she have decided against walking to Guy B's house? And how long has she known Guy B for? The longer she's known him for, the greater the odds are that he's already sent her some sort of a message of interest (overt or covert), and girls know when a guy is interested, thus making her decision to walk to his house drunk all the more alarming.

 

[Boxer00]

Can't you see she is at fault? She excercised poor judgement that put herself and your relationship in harms way.

And to add a little detail: There is only one proper club in my town so it is very possible that she ran into her friends. Almost every 18-25 old spends their nightouts there.

She didn't have to go back drunk to another guy's place.

But as she claims she was very tired and almost falling to sleep.

She didn't need to go back drunk to another guy's place.

I dont know did the guy come straight to bed with her or did he wait for a while.

Doesn't matter, he was still in bed with her that she let happen.

And she said she left the club when they stopped serving alcohol and the girlsnightougroup was leaving and then she ran into the acting class friends.

She just happened to go back drunk with 2 guys for the night. Why didn't she leave with her friends like she was supposed to?

I have no hard evidence so this is very hard to make decicions. I could have access to her phone or facebook account but I do not know if that would help.

There's plenty of evidence to dump her on without hard evidence.

She went out clubbing all night without you
She stayed out later with guys in her "acting class"
She ditched her friends to stay with 2 guys after
She went over drunk to another guy's house
Her phone just happened to be off the rest of the morning
She was in bed drunk with another drunk guy
She said he was groping her
She never asked you if it was ok for her to any of this
She told you thinking there was nothing wrong with it
She isn't telling you all that happened

How much more evidence do you need against her? She should be dumped just for disrespect. Hanging out with drunk guys and being in bed with one. This is low class behavior dude.

 

[thunder_god]

Dude wake the fcuk up! she cheated on you! Even if she didn't, she put herself in situations that have a very high likely hood of resulting in having sex with someone else. Lets face the facts here:

1. she went to an after party with some guys that she most likely knew were interested in fcuking her and didn't tell you about it until the next morning when you asked her.

2. She could have called you to come pick her up or left and got a taxi or something if she was tired.

3. She could have went and slept in another room or joined another female, but instead she decided to let the guy persist in his attempts to fcuk your gf.

Do you want to always have to worry about this bull$hit behavior everytime your gf goes out with her friends? It's going to drive you fcuking crazy. Even if she didn't cheat that night, you can bet your ass eventually she will cheat on you.

I'd say dump her ass and go find yourself a quality girl who actually respects you enough to not go do $hit like this. If you still can't dump her a$$, I'd dump her a$$ anyways temporary to teach her a lesson while go fcuk some other *****es in the mean time and make her beg you to forgive her and I don't mean asking once, like really make her beg for weeks and have fcuking buckets of tears running down her eyes and make her regret she ever did it.

 

[Father Joseph]

Without going into lots of detail and reasoning, unless it is this girl's habit not to return contact for several hours after being apart all night, I'd INSTANTLY go back to f buddies from GF. Are you guys even exclusive? Have had that talk after being f buddy so long? If not, then you may not really be exclusive. Good if you aren't IMO. Stay free, be happy.

Phone off? 1 o clock, and she's just NOW getting in and back to you? LMFAO. She gave way too much rationalizing detail and too much unnecessary detail is a form of tell, it suggests a communication PLAN in place as opposed to just speaking truth. Yes, they do feel a compulsion to confess, just as others say, not the whole thing. I've seen this scenario dozens of times from all angles, been the BF, guy B, the third party, the friends, every single position in the scenario, and IME there's a 90% chance more went on. But NBD, why are you dating a f buddy exclusively anyway? WHY WOULD YOU CONSIDER A F BUDDY A GF PROSPECT EVER? I don't understand here. Go back to that uncommitted state! YMMV and good luck.

As I explained in my first post we were together for a year then F-buddies for a year and because she started asking for the "exclusive talk" many times a per month and I agreeded to it. No we have been together about 3 months. And the phone thing she has a similiar phone to mine and the battery lasts for 7-10hours max.

 

[Alvafe]

As I explained in my first post we were together for a year then F-buddies for a year and because she started asking for the "exclusive talk" many times a per month and I agreeded to it. No we have been together about 3 months. And the phone thing she has a similiar phone to mine and the battery lasts for 7-10hours max.

dude just think, forget everything you can consider even any experience you ahd or we said here. Focus on what you know.

-she did go out alone
-she sleep in a bed with another man
-she is feeling guilty

I told you befoer I would drop her just for the lack of respect for you and the relationship, I also follow the rule once droped never go back, you can have all f buddy thing if you can keep your emotions in check, if not find another woman you time is valuable don't waste it with damaged goods

 

[BrainDamage92]

Bro, listen...

your girl got brutally ****ed by another male or two

ok?

dump her, dont talk about it with her anymore, just **** her man

If she pulled this **** once and you forgive she will walk all over you. One thing you can do is act indifferent about what happened if you want to keep her in check for a while, but you already blew it + this only will work for a while

To hell with her man, respect yourself. If every man respected himself women would be kept in check but no you got the faggot that sleeps with taken women then you got the hoe who gets drunk at clubs while taken, cheats on her BF then you got the BF who is all meek and fogiving. I dont know which of you 3 disguists me more. Couse after 1 big ass fail I got my priorities:

1. Never **** a taken woman. If a taken woman you know tries some ****, TELL THE GUY FFS AND WATCH THE ***** BEING MISERABLE AND LAUGH. COUSE SHE ****ING DESERVES IT.
2. Keep hoes in check.

**** this ****. Keep hoes in check. Always KEEP THE ***** IN CHECK. Always. Girls nowadays are only told if they have looks they will succeed in life and feel soooooo ****ing entitled for having a stinkin **** full of different mens ***. Intelligence and emotional integrity - nah theyre allowed to be dumb and crazy and get away with it. Stinking ****, she has a great loving boyfriend and pulls this ****. **** and youre willing to forgive but it will go unappreciated. You see what women are. ****ing stinking *****s all of them.

Keep her in check, when she dont want to be kept in check, foget about it.

 

[Bingo-Player]

This is a real tough scenario and i feel some advisors in this thread are due a cameo on true detective

It’s a bit too intense

at the end of the day only you know how you feel about your girlfriend doing this

A bunch of random dudes on an internet forum can’t change that

IF this was a British chick there would be a no doubt in my mind that she sucked him and fvcked him 15 times........ no question about it

But i don’t know what northern European chicks are like in these sort of scenarios so it’s impossible for me to say

One thing i will say is that I’ve been that guy in bed with a chick with a BF at the end of the night and 8 times out of 10 its resulted in some very heavy foreplay and sticky fingers .......some girls will stop it there and others will want to go the whole 10 yards

I don’t know what your girls like so again its impossible for me to say

If i was you I wouldn’t be very happy about it and she would know about it for a couple of weeks

But Apart from that i don’t see there’s a lot else you can do

End it if you see fit ....but you and only you should be able to make that call

 

[Dreesy]

You wouldn't have made this thread in the first place, had you not suspected something like this happened. If you really thought that nothing happened, we wouldn't be here talking about it.

You're trying to rationalize something that you know is wrong. You're in denial.

 

[Alvafe]

This is a real tough scenario and i feel some advisors in this thread are due a cameo on true detective

It’s a bit too intense

at the end of the day only you know how you feel about your girlfriend doing this

A bunch of random dudes on an internet forum can’t change that

IF this was a British chick there would be a no doubt in my mind that she sucked him and fvcked him 15 times........ no question about it

But i don’t know what northern European chicks are like in these sort of scenarios so it’s impossible for me to say

One thing i will say is that I’ve been that guy in bed with a chick with a BF at the end of the night and 8 times out of 10 its resulted in some very heavy foreplay and sticky fingers .......some girls will stop it there and others will want to go the whole 10 yards

I don’t know what your girls like so again its impossible for me to say

If i was you I wouldn’t be very happy about it and she would know about it for a couple of weeks

But Apart from that i don’t see there’s a lot else you can do

End it if you see fit ....but you and only you should be able to make that call

and this is the thing, it don't matter what she did, if she ****ed him or not, what matter is she was in a bed with another guy, if she is stupid enough to put herself in such situation, don't matter if did happen something, if not now it will happen and its not your problem to fix her behavior, is a waste of time far simple and easier you find another girl who will fit then fix a idiot like her.

the op is a guy, he made this post because he have a problem and guys fix the problem

 

[LiveFreeX]

What are the nationalities and nation of all involved?

 

[uperman]

i was cheated out of harvard